Yes, the 'F' word. Tipping the scales at nearly 20 stone, with creaking knees and a dodgy ankle to boot, at the beginning of 2011 Pauline had reached a crisis point. Something had to change, and fast. It was never going to be an easy ride, but with her trademark warmth and sense of humour, Pauline recounts the highs and lows of the rollercoaster year in which she whips herself, and her life, into shape - with a fair few tales from her celebrated forty-year acting career thrown into the bargain. She reveals all: from the strain of working long hours away from home on one of Britain's most popular soaps to renewing her wedding vows and reuniting with her Birds of a Feather co-stars; from battling the bulge and facing the naysayers to rediscovering the joys of airline travel . . . without a seatbelt extension.Honest and revealing, Where Have I Gone? is brimming with brilliantly funny anecdotes and truly moving moments. So put your feet up and join Pauline as she embarks on the most incredible year of her life.

    Keeps the plot turning.” — Kirkus Reviews When San Francisco con artist Jack McCoul gets married, he vows to give up his life of crime for good. But then his new brother-in-law pulls a heist that lands Jack in the middle of a deadly fight over hot computer chips. As bodies stack up, he must pull off the grift of a lifetime to solve a murder and escape a one-way ticket to death row.What readers are saying:★★★★★ The characters are delicious. The local color spot-on.★★★★★ Gritty, surprising, and funny as hell.★★★★★ Fun, stylish, edge-of-your-seat.★★★★★ A roller coaster ride full of surprises.★★★★★ 100% fun.★★★★★ Brilliantly authentic.★★★★★ Successful in every way and at every level.

    Through the often grim and bloody events of fifty years which changed the world, his life is a triumph of the human spirit.

    He's lost everything - his wife, his dreams, his future. He finally enters the death chamber at the famous 'Walls' prison in Texas. He's strapped to a gurney and given an injection of lethal drugs in front of witnesses. Minutes later he's pronounced dead. But that's not the end of it. After the execution comes the shocking revelation - Jordan is still alive. And to stop him talking he has to die all over again - before he brings down the entire American justice system.

    When a Harvard history professor receives a thesis paper titled Jesse James and the Secret Legend of Captain Coytus, from Ulysses Hercules Baxter-an underwhelming student-he assumes the paper must be a prank. He has never read such maniacal balderdash in his life. But after he calls a meeting with the student, Professor Gladstone is dismayed when Baxter declares the work is his own. As he takes a very unwilling Professor Gladstone back in time via his thesis, Baxter's grade hangs in the balance as he attempts to prove his theory. It is 1864 as philanderer and crusader Captain Coytus embarks on a mission to avenge his father's death and infiltrates the Confederate Bushwacker posse looking for the man responsible, Jesse Woodson James. Accompanied by the woman of his dreams, Coytus soon finds himself temporarily appointed to be the sheriff of Booneville and commissions his less-than-loyal deputy to help him carry out his plan. But when tragedy strikes, the Captain is forced to change his immature ways and redefine his lofty mission-more or less.

    He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    Their clients are the richest people in the country and they pay a lot of money to stay safe. He works on the outer perimeter of a security team and is one of the best in the business. From running with gangs as a teenager, and with the US Army in Iraq during the surge, he has a unique set of skills to keep his team alive.It was a standard operation, a bread and butter job, get a client from one point to another and back again.Badger works the perimeter as always, and the client is a beautiful young singer, a rising star who is going to a nightclub in the gritty belly of the city after midnight. Everything is going smooth until the convoy is ambushed, and Badger wakes up in the hospital with no memory of what happened.Everyone else in the convoy is dead, the singer is missing, and Badger is a prime suspect.The agency is in trouble, more ruthless than the mob, and they’ll get answers out of him using any means necessary, if they can only get their hands on him.He is on the run from the agency, the kidnappers, and the police, and he has to find the girl, or die trying.

    When a flying saucer crashes into his fishing hole, Jimmy tries to use the stranded survivors to jump-start his TV career. This first contact isn't accidental though. The Galactic Pool's saddest excuse for a politician has committed sabotage while plotting to rule Earth. And he's about to find out what happens when you mess with Earthlings.*81,000 words with a courteous 0.0149% F-word rate*There are sex scenes, but they are strictly telepathic. (sorry)

     Monsters do not lie under your bed. Monster do not live in closets. They go to church. They go to school. Some teach in schools. Some are mothers, fathers, sons and daughters. My monster was the married mother who lived two doors down. She moved in as the housekeeper and later became my father’s wife. I was starved, beaten and held captive on our property, but after eight years of torture, I survived the monster. When a story, like mine, hits the news, most of us ask the same questions: Why? How? Why would a child, attending school, endure eight years of cruel torture and starvation, yet not run for help? Why did my twenty-one year old brother not move out earlier or call the police? Why didn’t the six of us gang up on her? To understand the answer to these and many other questions, you have to live the abusive lives we lived. You may ask what fuels a monster. Greed, jealousy and control are three big factors. According to recent NCANDS data the majority of the perpetrators, half a century later, are still women. So how could my father, not mutually engaged in the systematic sadistic torture of his children, allow it to happen on a regular basis? That answer is simple. Somewhere back in time, my father lost his spine.

    What she doesn’t bargain for is to uncover the secret of her adoption at birth and her Native American heritage. This revelation sees her embark on a journey of self-discovery such as she’d never envisaged. Moving between Australia’s Sunshine Coast and the Oregon Coast, The Sand Dollar is a story of new beginnings, of a woman whose life is suddenly turned upside down, and the reclusive man who helps her solve the puzzle of her past.

    Only one man could prevent the accident. An ex-NASA scientist reluctantly joins the crew of re-commissioned space shuttle Discovery on a daring rescue mission to recover the satellite. Orbiting Earth, they are about to experience something out of this world.

    An inspirational tale of her journey through extreme personal crisis."You can run, but you can't hide from yourself."Abandoned by her mother as a young child and with a father constantly on the run, Shelley's life was never normal. Her family's involvement with South London's criminal underworld left her isolated, vulnerable and lonely. Falling deeper and deeper into depression and despair - she snapped.Shelley got on the first coach out of London with only the clothes she stood up in and £30 in her pocket. She didn't care where she was going, as long as she could disappear completely from her oppressive life. For years, she lived anonymously in refuges, hostels and on the streets. It would take something remarkable to bring her back to the real world.

    Fueled by Pastor Malachi Marble's fall from faith, which tumbles him into the late night world of Walmart.Author Rick Leland spent fourteen months working as a Walmart Overnight Stocker doing research for the book. Well, not purely for research."Actually I needed the money to live on," Leland said. "But I knew God was working something out in my life, as inspiration for Jesus at Walmart emerged even before my first night's work was over." Walk past the greeter; into the heart of Walmart with Malachi Marble. Grab a shopping cart. You'll need something to hang onto during this trip to Walmart like no other. And when you exit Jesus at Walmart, expect to leave a changed person.

    They programmed her to forget everything. She was supposed to be the perfect patsy, until something went wrong… When Sara wakes up on the roof of a Union Square department store with a sniper rifle in her arms and the body of a political activist in the street below, she can’t even remember how she got there. A mysterious stranger calls and instructs her to turn herself in. He warns that her life has been erased and she’ll never see her family again if she doesn’t cooperate. Sara is terrified, and in a desperate attempt to sort out her past and prove her innocence, she goes on the run. Sara quickly finds herself one of America’s most wanted criminals. The police and the FBI are convinced she’s a known terrorist. The black ops team that framed her is out to kill her before she can expose them. Her only hope lies in rookie FBI agent Brandy Jackson. Unfortunately, Brandy and her partner have every reason to believe Sara is the real killer and they’re being pressured from above to close the case as quickly as possible. As the evidence mounts, Sara even begins to question her own memories. What if she’s not the dedicated mother and hardworking attorney she thinks she is? What if she really is the killer?

    But Pomeroy plays by his own set of rules. He may be on the dole, but he’ll tip his breakfast waitress $20 just for being nice to him, even if it means he has to sit an extra hour on the street corner to make ends meet. He’s a skirmish-loving, dumpster-diving, ego-starved crazy who thinks that he can sing and that all women are in love with him—or should be. His parole officer, an Hispanic woman who tells Pomeroy he’s off-base and he 1) won’t become a rock star, 2) needs to find a decent job, and 3) would be better off if he stayed out of trouble, is totally exasperated by him. But Pomeroy is his own man, takes no advice, and has more wisdom that we’d like to admit. You may find yourself laughing when you shouldn’t. (“A good strong piss is better than sex. Lasts longer too.”) May find his egocentric opinions politically incorrect. ("There ain't a dyke alive ol' Pomeroy can't turn straight.") But don’t blame yourself if you start rooting for this anti-hero, you’ll have a lot of company. (Note: Adult language and situations.)