This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.

    And even if you've never pondered any of these issues, Maggie Alderson will amuse and entertain you with her finely tuned observations about everything from global style icons to when to wear that perfect red dress, with the leopardskin shoes, of course. Australia's wittiest fashion and lifestyle commentator delivers a delightful bundle of wicked charm.

    His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that's often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life's absurdities.In My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying.

    A potpourri of musings assembled with a hint of practical spirituality, to be savoured passably as an oracle of hearts to the many answers, whose questions our minds are yet to comprehend. Ivory Gleam is split into three chapters of learning, longing and loving. Each chapter is a journey traversing a different road to the ultimate destination of self-reflection.

    Daysearlier, while traversing the Straits of Sicily the crew had discovered a crack in one ofthe nuclear reactor pipes, requiring the immediate shutting down of the reactor toprevent a potential reactor accident, an operation never before conducted on a Britishsubmarine at sea.Th e previous six days had been a difficult time for the crew of the submarine. Initialindications of a nuclear reactor defect had quickly escalated into a full scale potential nuclearreactor accident at sea, requiring decisive action by the crew to make the reactor safe, toidentify the defect and attempt to repair the reactor, and then to surface the submarine andto sail her safely back to the nearest safe harbor using emergency propulsion machinerydesigned for very limited use. The resulting lack of electrical power resulted in the crewhaving to sacrifice lighting, air-conditioning, bathing facilities and even hot food until theirreturn to harbor, and to suffer in the excessively hot interior of the boat. Throughout,there remained the fear of exposure to deadly radiation and the uncertainty that the reactormight still be one step away from a major accident.For one man onboard, this episode formed the culmination of a 25 year navalengineering career almost fated for this moment. Charge Chief Stephen Bridgman,the senior nuclear propulsion technician, had needed all of his engineering knowledgeand experience in the identification and eventual repair of the submarine reactor,subsequently being awarded an MBE together with a colleague for his services to navalengineering for his actions.This book provides an insight into a remarkable naval career starting as a 16 year oldStoker on the final proper British aircraft carrier HMS Ark Royal in 1977, throughthe Falklands War, being selected for naval technician training and submarine service,submarine training, submarine patrols in the supposed post cold-war period, theKosovo conflict, progression through the ranks, submarine refi t and refueling throughto the nuclear reactor accident onboard HMS Tireless.While there are countless accounts of naval life during wartime, this book tells theunique story of life as a British naval rating in the modern era, starting from the lowestlevel at a time of decline for the Royal Navy in the late 1970s, and paralleling the majorpolitical and military events of the 1980s and 1990s.

    Originally published in 1960, this compact book tells the true story of a German soldier: from his early childhood during the First World War, through to his harrowing experiences on the frontline during the Word War II, culminating in his capture by the Red Army on 20 December 1942…An astonishing first-hand account.

    Life was a despairing time in the 1950s, as Veronica sought desperately to keep away from his cruelty. Astonishingly, to her and her mother, she won a scholarship to Ackworth Boarding School where she began to shine above her class-mates. A champion in all sports, Veronica at last found some happiness until her brother-in-law came into her life. It was as if she had stepped from the frying pan into the re: he took over control of her life removing her from the school she adored, two terms before she was due to take her GCEs, so he could put her to work as a cheap option on his market stall. Abused for many years by these two men, Veronica eventually ran away and applied to the Prison Service, knowing it was the only safe place she could trust. This is the astonishing, and true story of Veronica Bird who rose to become a Governor of Armley prison. Given a ‘basket case’ in another prison, contrary to all expectations, she turned it around within a year, to become an example for others to match. During her life inside, her ‘bird’, she met many Home Secretaries, was honoured by the Queen and was asked to help improve conditions in Russian Prisons. A deeply poignant story of eventual triumph against a staggeringly high series of setbacks, her story is filled with humour and compassion for those inside.

    She imagined spending days at the café while learning about the relaxed southern lifestyle from retirees Ida Belle and Gertie.However, Sinful isn't the sleepy little town she expected. While Pepper is busy trying to educate southern taste buds about the beauty of sweet iced coffee, she also ends up in the middle of murder and kidnapping.And she meets Jaxson, the hottest man south of the Mason-Dixon line. Problem is, Pepper has just decided to get her life together without a man.But this Yankee schoolteacher can't stop herself from dreaming...NOTE: This quick-read novella is licensed fan fiction available as part of Jana DeLeon's Miss Fortune World. It was previously published under the same title through the Kindle Worlds program. Many thanks to Ms. DeLeon for allowing authors to tell new stories and create characters within her world!

    

    . .' Alison Hammond loves to laugh. And the nation laughs with her. Her sunny personality and zest for life have brought joy to millions and made her one of the UK's best-loved television presenters. Known for her hilarious and unforgettable interviews with Hollywood A-listers, Alison is also responsible for countless classic moments of broadcasting gold - from getting stuck on a caravan door to delivering Christmas cash dressed as an elf. But who is Alison Hammond really, and how did she become the personality we know and love? Shaped by the influence of her incredible mum, Alison went from small roles on television shows as a youngster to that life-changing appearance on Big Brother, before landing her dream job on This Morning. And through it all, she found the joy in every day, the positives in any situation. You've Got to Laugh gives a never-before-seen insight into Alison's life: her loves, her losses - with a side order of gossip. As well as being a hugely entertaining and uplifting read, Alison's story will inspire you to grab life with both hands and make the most of every single moment. 'Interviewer extraordinaire, reigning queen of the huns, and an out-and-out national treasure' Bustle

    

    Successful in her career and happily surrounded by friends and family, she was content. Until the day she learned her former heartthrob, Dr. Eli Webster, was moving back to town.Because of a past incident involving Eli and her twin sister, Callie is determined to keep her distance from the handsome doctor. That quickly proves impossible. First, Eli moves into the cottage right next door! Then her car breaks down and he’s the one who comes to her assistance. And when a baby is left on his doorstep (with a note indicating he’s the father), Eli asks her to watch the child while he tracks down the mother. Despite her hesitation, Callie finds the offer impossible to refuse. It’s her summer break and she desperately needs the extra money for a new transmission. If Callie didn’t know better, she’d think the Almighty was deliberately throwing them together.Yet, as she begins to get to know the grown-up Eli, Callie wonders if God has a better plan for her life than she ever dreamed possible. And the man she once thought was perfectly wrong for her is actually perfectly right.

    Growing up in Jarrow during the Depression years of the 1930s, Geordie worked briefly in a local factory. The lure of adventure prompted him, in 1946, to sign up as a private soldier. It was the first step in a career spanning 40 years in which he saw active service in Germany, Cyprus, the Korean War, and Suez; he became an expert in jungle warfare in Malaya and in Borneo, as well as on special operations in the deserts of Oman and Yemen. Returning to England in the early 1970s, Geordie was interrogated by Special Branch about his secret activities in Yemen. Not long after, a serious road accident put paid to his frontline soldiering career but he found an new and vital role in the SAS, as a permanent staff instructor with 23 SAS (TA) training recruits. He left the SAS in 1972, but could not settle to civilian life. He found himself a job as a storeman in the SAS Quartermaster's storesa job which lasted another 12 years until ill health kept him from marching to the nearest barracks to join up once more.

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    Follow them now as they get taken on an impromptu road trip, discover secluded beaches, rocky coves, caves, lakes and flies in cakes.