and I am wide awake because the man of the house has decided that he needs to perform a series of complex manoeuvres that involve him balancing on his left elbow. When I fell asleep last night, there was a baby lying next to me. Her smelly diaper is still wedged on my head but aside from this rather damp clue, I can't seem to find her anywhere. I could ask my mother-in-law if she has seen the baby, but she may just tell me that I need to fast on alternate Mondays, and God will deliver the baby back to me . . . Full of wit and delicious observations, Mrs Funnybones captures the life of the modern Indian woman—a woman who organizes dinner each evening, even as she goes to work all day, who runs her own life but has to listen to her Mummyji, who worries about her weight and the state of the country. Based on Twinkle Khanna’s super-hit column, Mrs Funnybones marks the debut of one of our funniest, most original voices.

    Pure Drivel is a collection of pieces, most of them written for the New Yorker, that demonstrate Martin's playful way with words and his unerring ability to create a feeling of serendipitous improvisation even on the printed page. Here's a passage from a piece that announces a shortage of periods in the Times Roman font: "Most vulnerable are writers who work in short, choppy sentences," said a spokesperson for Times Roman, who continued, "We are trying to remedy the situation and have suggested alternatives, like umlauts, since we have plenty of umlauts--and, in fact, have more umlauts than we could possibly use in a lifetime! Don't forget, umlauts can really spice up a page with their delicate symmetry--resting often midway in a word, letters spilling on either side--and not only indicate the pronunciation of a word but also contribute to a writer's greater glory because they're fancy, not to mention that they even look like periods, indeed, are indistinguishable from periods, and will lead casual readers to believe that the article actually contains periods!" Although some of these pieces flirted with topicality when they first appeared, Martin is most successful when he leaves the real world behind and gives his wit free rein. This collection preserves the best (so far) of his glorious improvisations. --Simon Leake

    Almost immediately, she became a central part of their household. Alwayas left to run free, she became indefatigable explorer, gone for hours, sometimes entire days, but her infallible compass always brought her home. From her exploits in upstate New York to the story of her incredible survival in the Vermont wilderness and her later adventures in the English countryside, Perth displayed the same pluck, intelligence, devotion, unshakable trust, and unstinting love.Anyone who has ever owned or grown up with or wanted a dog will be captivated by this extraordinary, beautifully written homage to a very special creature.

    The puppy that destroys her kitchen cabinets, bites her dates, pees on her neighbours, and bays at the moon is her worst nightmare - and her son's best friend. She tries everything to fix him - from obedience training and an animal behaviorist to puppy prozac and, well, fixing him. But nothing really works. Freddie remains strongly, exclusively, and steadfastly bad. As Mikey grows up and prepares to leave home, Paula's worst fear is that after more than thirty years of raising kids, she'll be left all alone - with Freddie. But the time Mikey graduates from high school, Freddie has howled his way into her heart - and earned a lifelong place in her empty nest.

    Whether walking down the street, gathering at the dog park, hitting the open road, or spending one too many nights together on the couch in front of the TV, a woman and her dog are an enduring pair. And there are many who consider their dogs to be members of their family and themselves to be full-fledged dog moms, even if they're single.From the family dog who takes on the anxiety of a family as the writer's sister battles breast cancer, to the compelling tale of a woman searching for her furry friend in the aftermath of September 11th, to the blind and deaf dog who teaches everyone about keeping on truckin' no matter what predicaments she gets into, the essays in this anthology get at the heart of love — and yes, sometimes love-hate-relationships women have with the dogs in their lives.

    In no other cat book will you find such riveting accounts as:The Great Cat Butt Wiping AdventureJingle Ball HorrorsThe Creature Under the FridgeYoga CatThe Big Brown Mouse & Other Toys Our Cat LoathesLessons In Stalking is the purr-fect gift for cat lovers!Dena Harris has been a humor columnist for Cats & Kittens magazine and contributor to Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover's Soul. Her newest book, "Who Moved My Mouse? A Self-Help Book for Cats (Who Don't Need Any Help)" is being translated into 5 languages. Visit www.denaharris.com or www.selfhelpforcats.com for more info.

    Statistics show that aggression is not only the most serious problem in dogs but also the top reason for owners to seek out professional help for their pets. Left unchecked, an aggressive dog can become a dangerous dog, and this informative volume comes to the aid of many heartbroken owners who feel that they have tried everything to correct their dogs’ unpredictable and inappropriate behavior. Author and certified dog trainer Annie Phenix shares her belief that many reactive dogs can be rehabilitated with the right training, and she offers her expertise in positive, force-free training methods to desperate owners who have resorted to extreme measures to keep their dogs away from other people and animals.Inside The Midnight Dog Walkers:Stories and practical examples from the author based on aggressive dogs she’s trained and ownedBehavioral warning signs that owners should recognizeDefinitions of different types of aggression and why they occurTips on how to handle a potentially aggressive or aggressive dogThe author’s force-free training philosophy and how she applies it with her clients to effect positive changesPopular myths and misconceptions about training these "grumpy growlers"

    The heartwarming, true story of an excessively mischievous dog that had been shuffled from owner to owner since no one could control his crazy behavior. He was on his way to meet his fate at the local shelter when a mere coincidence connected him with his current owners. While he no longer had to switch homes, the hilarious acts he committed, from ingesting bottle caps to barging into a stranger's house, caused his current owners to almost reconsider their decision. Buddy was a dog that no one wanted, yet he became one of the quirkiest, friendliest, smartest and most cherished of dogs. The reader is not only drawn into the book, but learns from the unfortunate mistakes of others and how to think outside of the proverbial box. It gives the reader hope that if they are going through a similar ordeal, they can also successfully overcome any related obstacle.If you are looking for a great gift for both dog lovers and even non-dog lovers, this book is perfect. *A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to an animal rescue group.

     Animal lovers and sports fans were shocked when the story broke about NFL player Michael Vick's brutal dog fighting operation. But what became of the dozens of dogs who survived? As acclaimed writer Jim Gorant discovered, their story is the truly newsworthy aspect of this case. Expanding on Gorant's Sports Illustrated cover story, The Lost Dogs traces the effort to bring Vick to justice and turns the spotlight on these infamous pit bulls, which were saved from euthanasia by an outpouring of public appeals coupled with a court order that Vick pay nearly a million dollars in "restitution" to the dogs. As an ASPCA-led team evaluated each one, they found a few hardened fighters, but many more lovable, friendly creatures desperate for compassion. In The Lost Dogs, we meet these amazing animals, a number of which are now living in loving homes, while some even work in therapy programs: Johnny Justice participates in Paws for Tales, which lets kids get comfortable with reading aloud by reading to dogs; Leo spends three hours a week with cancer patients and troubled teens. At the heart of the stories are the rescue workers who transformed the pups from victims of animal cruelty into healing caregivers themselves, unleashing priceless hope.Includes an 8-page photo insert.Watch a video

    In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman’s perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, “I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there’s only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I’m Italian.” The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline.In this collection, you’ll laugh about:• Being caught braless in the emergency room• Betty and Veronica’s Life Lessons for Girls• A man’s most important body part• Interrupting as an art form• A religion men and women can worship• Real estate ads as porn• Spanx are public enemy number one• And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!

    She gets anxious about running out of ball bearings; about snakes sneaking in through the pipes; about making meaningful conversation on New Year’s Eve. Married life, she realizes, is an unpredictable saga even when you know exactly how loud your husband snores every night—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. In this crisp collection of essays, Bombeck shows off the irresistible style that made her one of America’s favorite humorists for more than three decades. When she sharpens her wit, no family member is sacred and no self-help fad is safe.

    Mutt's pedigree was uncertain, but his madness was indisputable. He climbed trees and ladders, rode passenger in an open car wearing goggles and displaying hunting skills that bordered on sheer genius. He was a marvelous dog, worthy of an unusual boy growing up in a raw, untamed wilderness.

    Critically acclaimed memoirist Wade Rouse has gathered some of America's best known humorists- authors, comedians, and actors-to offer biting commentary on what it means to share a life, and a heart, with a dog. From battling for bed space to trying to transform a pampered NYC pup into a Texas rawhide, and from helping a shelter rescue navigate through her new life to interpreting dog run dynamics (and politics), being a canine companion has challenges as tough as any agility course, but laughter is just a tail-wag away. This collection features uncanny insight and witty prose from...Jen Lancaster Rita Mae Brown Laurie Notaro Jane Green Beth Harbison W. Bruce Cameron and many others, including a Foreword by Chelsea Handler's dog, Chunk

    Capturing the wonderful and wise changes wrought in human and canine lives as they try to learn each other's ways, this endearing memoir is a love story with a difference. Photos.

    The author visits their minds and provides an insight into a species different from our own, but in many respects surprisingly the same.