Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

    Benefit from someone with more than 20 years experience Steve has done the research so you don't have to. Each of these fourteen principles are part of what has made him successful for more than two decades. Avoid stress and make money These principles will help you build a strong trading foundation and keep you from succumbing to stressful situations that will cost you money. Principles to help you overcome stressful situations This book is not just about principles. It provides actionable exercises that will change the way you live and trade. In this book you will learn: To identify stressful situations that may be costing you money How to deal with these situations in a productive way To profit more and stress less Become a calm trader Don't run the risk of ruin by ignoring these important stock market principles. Learn to win in the stock market and save your sanity!

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.

    The Bathroom Readers' Hysterical Society agrees, and shows it with this endlessly diverting tribute to tabby. From famous cats to the famous with their cats to cats' famous history, from cats who like to paint to cats who travel the world to find their way home, Uncle John's Hysterical Society scours the globe to find the winning-est, wackiest, most wondrous cat tales for this collection.

    

    The poems are accompanied by line drawings.

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    Broken Bananah is my completely true and overly honest journey through severe genital trauma. What happens when you lose something you love? And... can you really break a penis? Absolutely, and mine was one of the worst on file. Tethered to a catheter and surrounded by that’s-what-she-said jokes, I learned one of life’s greatest lessons: it can always be worse. Experience life and love without a penis in a recovery story that could only happen in New York City. Let’s laugh til we cry, dive into the weird, and grapple with the power of sex in this modern coming-of-something tale.

    We promise to make you laugh and give you that much needed break in the middle of all the crazy.We have partnered with the most talented bunch of moms and dads to bring you the best, the funniest, and the most outrageous stories to get you from girth to birth.Are you having strange cravings? Have you asked yourself what in the hell is happening to my body? Have strangers touched your belly? If you've answered yes to any of these questions then this is the book for you! Prop up your cankles, grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream covered in olives and have a laugh with our crew. Things are about to get real.

    Maggie was shot 17 times and subjected to cruelty and torture, before being rescued from Lebanon and brought to live in the UK by a determined and loving young woman called Kasey.As Maggie struggled to overcome her injuries, every day was a fight to rehabilitate her. But Kasey was convinced that what she had found in this little dog was someone just as determined to live and love as she was.This is the incredible story of their journey together: a story of hope, unconditional love and never giving up.

    And after you read Why Do Dogs Drink out of the Toilet?, it will make perfect sense to you, too. Award-winning pet experts Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori take you on a trip into the canine mind. And it's not at all a scary place. . . .Dogs live to smell, to feel good, to clarify their relationship with other dogs (and with us), to love, to laugh. When you start looking at the world their way, everything falls into place. Of course they drink out of the toilet--the water is fresher. Sniffing another dog's behind is just like reading their resume, except you know nothing is made up. Barking at the letter carrier makes him go away--every single time! And rolling in stinky stuff just smells like heaven. (Because what smells heavenly is, after all, a matter of taste.)The better you understand dogs, the easier it is to love the pooch on your couch. Find out why hunting dogs don't mind suppressing their basic instinct, how assistance dogs for the blind get their job done, why little dogs like to mix it up with big dogs, and everything you always wanted to know about canine sex but were afraid to ask.You'll also find the answers to questions that tend to tickle your curiosity: How do dogs get into dog shows? Which breeds are made in America? Do some dogs really have dreadlocks? Do all dogs need a backyard? How did Lassie always find her way home?You've got questions? This book's got answers.

    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.