In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    Stocked with cleverly named canine confections--from SnickerPoodles to Scotty Biscotti to Big Scary Kitties -- the pooch patisserie has grown into an international operation, featuring its fresh-baked, all-natural bakery treats for dogs.Three Dog Bakery's 1996 autobiography, Short Tails and Treats from Three Dog Bakery, tells all about how Dan Dye and Mark Beckloff, with inspiration from their three dogs, came to run 12 retail bakeries around the world, as well as wholesale and mail-order divisions. Now, Three Dog Bakery is sharing its secrets with dog devotees everywhere. With this new Three Dog Bakery Cookbook, readers will be able to concoct the kind of tasty treats that canines crave.Featuring more than 50 recipes--from Banana Mutt Cake to Great Danish, and from Fiesta Bones to Gracie's Megapizza--the Three Dog Bakery Cookbook will have dogs salivating like Pavlov's proverbial pet. Full-color finished dish photographs give human cooks a look at what they're making, while health tips and canine trivia sprinkled throughout the book both educate and entertain.Arranged into six chapters, Three Dog Bakery Cookbook covers the dog-snack gamut, from savory morsels to carob-coated treats, from luscious entrees to chewy soft-baked confections. Readers will find recipes for all doggie occasions, from birthdays to obedience school graduation.

    Longevity is a priority when enjoying our dogs, and you will see in this educational ebook there are many tips, hints and dog training activities that can help your dog stay young! Susan Garrett's has owned 6 dogs that have lived well into their teenaged years. Recently "Buzz" Susan's oldest Border Collie helped ring in his 18th New Years Eve celebration. Anti-Aging Tips for Dogs is a collection of articles written to help dog owners 1) keep your young dogs healthy as they age and 2)To keep an older dog comfortable well into their teenaged years. It is a resource that should be in the library of ever dog owner world wide! Author Susan Garrett is not only a multi time world champion in the sport of dog agility but also has been recognized by the "Dog Writers of America" for her award winning book "Shaping Success, The Education of an Unlikely Champion"

    Statistics show that aggression is not only the most serious problem in dogs but also the top reason for owners to seek out professional help for their pets. Left unchecked, an aggressive dog can become a dangerous dog, and this informative volume comes to the aid of many heartbroken owners who feel that they have tried everything to correct their dogs’ unpredictable and inappropriate behavior. Author and certified dog trainer Annie Phenix shares her belief that many reactive dogs can be rehabilitated with the right training, and she offers her expertise in positive, force-free training methods to desperate owners who have resorted to extreme measures to keep their dogs away from other people and animals.Inside The Midnight Dog Walkers:Stories and practical examples from the author based on aggressive dogs she’s trained and ownedBehavioral warning signs that owners should recognizeDefinitions of different types of aggression and why they occurTips on how to handle a potentially aggressive or aggressive dogThe author’s force-free training philosophy and how she applies it with her clients to effect positive changesPopular myths and misconceptions about training these "grumpy growlers"

    • Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER. • Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it!

    His specially embroidered jacket, laden with medals, made him the most decorated dog in history.Extracted from the bestselling title Beyond The Call Of Duty, the story of the unofficial mascot for the 26th ‘Yankee’ Division and his rescuer Private Robert J Conroy takes us on a journey through the build up to WWI and beyond."

    Over 15,000 sold! Relive some of the most hilarious moments in television with the SCTV troupe.

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

    But what has been said about our "first families' families" - the colossal collection of animals, exotic and familiar, stubborn and playful, large and tiny, who have been welcome, and often celebrated, residents of the White House and its grounds since the days of George Washington? Over the years, the White House has been home to a unique assortment of pets. As a guest of John Quincy Adams, General Lafayette kept a live alligator in the East Room. Calvin Coolidge's Enoch, a huge white goose, gift from actress Marie Dressler, was said to be worth $100,000. Young Tad Lincoln surveyed his home grounds in a cart drawn by two pet goats. Warren Harding's Laddie Boy, a talented Airedale, was interviewed by reporters on national affairs. There were Franklin Roosevelt's famous Fala, Caroline Kennedy's Macaroni, Lyndon Johnson's beagles Him and Her. And Teddy Roosevelt's whole menagerie, which included a lion, snakes, roosters, a zebra, and five bears. The list of presidential pets is endless, and the stories about them and their owners are bizarre, hilarious, touching, and filled with incidents that point out many a first-family soft spot, peculiarity and, in every case, unabashed love of animals. Margaret Truman, a former White House resident herself, charts this special heritage with warmth and imagination.

    Each short story is about a dog, love and the special bond that can form between dogs and people. Love stories for all ages, almost any of these short stories could be a bedtime story for children, although they run the emotional gamut from absurdity to poignancy. The language is clean, and although the loss of a pet is always sad, the idea of dressing a chihuahua in a red corduroy coat is funny, quickly bringing a smile. Almost every true story in this collection is either about a chihuahua or a mix thereof, and/or the abandoned hound that claimed a family as his own. One is about a lost mother dog who depended on the kindness of strangers after delivering her puppies in a cave on the side of a cliff. Another is about a little dog's grief when her master died; although he was important enough to be mourned by an entire city, Mopsy's sorrow was heartbreaking. Most of the dogs in these stories came from an animal shelter, and the fidelity that each rescue dog demonstrates, from utter loyalty to pure devotion, makes a master humble.Perhaps you will recognize and remember some of the dogs you have loved over the years as you read these stories, and realize how important dogs truly are in the emotional lives of humans

    Most people think it’s Frisbee football played barefoot and without boundaries. Those people are wrong. Ultimate is a sport played by 824,000 people a year in North America—more than korfball, lawn darts, lacrosse, and curling combined. Ultimate is so popular that it even has rules that are sometimes followed.This book will provide you with complete and total knowledge of the Ultimate game.THIS BOOK INCLUDES:-- The Eight Ultimate Player Types-- The 42 Most Common Nicknames-- 28 Near-Useless Throws on the Field-- How to Name Your Ultimate Team-- Where to Play Ultimate Without Being Mocked-- How to Score at an Ultimate Party-- Useful Playing Tips from Experts of the Game PLUS: HOW TO PLAY ULTIMATE IN EIGHT EASY STEPS – AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE -- Can I play Ultimate with a mustache?-- Where do Ultimate babies come from?-- How can I become an Ultimate champion without practicing?-- What is “throwing Fire”?-- How can I survive a shark attack?  About the author:Pasquale Anthony Leonardo IV has covered numerous championship Ultimate tournaments since 1997 and was the Media Director for the 2006 World Junior Ultimate Championships. In 2005 he co-wrote Ultimate: The First Four Decades, which was reviewed in Sports Illustrated and featured on ESPN’s live talk show "Cold Pizza." He also writes screenplays. He lives in Brooklyn, New York and/or somewhere out West.

    The first of its kind to carry doctors and surgeons who can take the hospital to the patient. Drug addicts, lorry crashes, open-heart surgery, stab wounds, headless chickens, mating llamas, and strip routines - it's all in a day's work for emergency doctor Tony Bleetman and his team.Whether they are landing in the middle of the M1 or at a maximum security jail, Tony and his crew Helimed 999 are the first on the scene in the most critical of emergencies.This gripping read will make you laugh, cry and marvel at the wonders of life (and death) in equal measure.

    After a highly publicized and controversial exit from Mormonism, Lamborn intertwines the story of his awakening with psychological aspects of religious belief.

    Meet Karl (the Joker), Boris (the Gladiator), Miss Winnifred Hardbottle, Buddy (the Little Whittler) and many more.

    Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don’t have time for all that. That’s why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets —a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you’ll find inside:My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.— @FatherWithTwinsWith my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.— @KalvinMacleodShe took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?"Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.— @BunmiLaditanI wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.— @SuburbanSnapsTo anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow. — @XplodingUnicornPeppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?