This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    In The Handplane Book, aficionado Garrett Hack reveals the rich heritage of this classic tool with a treasure trove of information and history, including detailed guidance on how to buy a plane, tune it up, and use it. Lavishly illustrated with 175 photos and 152 illustrations, Hack engagingly traces the tool's lineage from Roman times to the present, with emphasis on the golden age of handplanes from the late 19th and the early 20th centuries.

    With this wonderful cookbook, the SUGAR BUSTERS! eating program can easily become part of your daily routine. Forget counting calories, weighing your food, and trying to figure out those confusing charts and graphs. The SUGAR BUSTERS! Quick & Easy Cookbook makes preparing tasty, low-sugar or sugar-free fare a snap.Inside you'll discover- APPETIZERS and HORS D'OEUVRES- SOUPS and SALADS- MAIN COURSES- VEGETABLES- SAUCES and DRESSINGS- DESSERTS- COMPREHENSIVE PANTRY SECTIONWhether you're hosting an elaborate holiday bash or a spur-of-the-moment intimate evening for two, or you just need a quick dinner for you and your family, the SUGAR BUSTERS! Quick & Easy Cookbook will help you create the perfect meal.

    Silencing that stifling voice once and for all, this salve for creatives introduces ten truths they must face in order to defeat self-doubt. Each encouraging chapter deconstructs a pivotal moment on the path to success—fear of the blank page, the dangers of jealousy, sharing work with others—and explains how to navigate roadblock. Packed with helpful anecdotes, thoughts from successful creatives, and practical exercises gleaned from Danielle Krysa's years of working with professional and aspiring artists—plus riotously apt illustrations from art world darling Martha Rich—this book arms readers with the most essential tool for their toolbox: the confidence they need to get down to business and make good work.

    Little did she know at the time that those simple markings would become the basis of a years-long, life-changing exploration into a mysterious group known only as The Wander Society, as well as the subject of this book.Within these pages, you’ll find the results of Smith’s research: A guide to the Wander Society, a secretive group that holds up the act of wandering, or unplanned exploring, as a way of life. You’ll learn about the group’s mysterious origins, meet fellow wanderers through time, discover how wandering feeds the creative mind, and learn how to best practice the art of wandering, should you choose to accept the mission.

    As award-winning teachers, they have a proven game plan for helping artists of all levels overcome common problems and see immediate improvement in their work. As professional composite artists, they know the tricks and tools for achieving incredibly lifelike results. In this friendly, foolproof guide to drawing, they share it all: Easy-to-master techniques for achieving a convincing sense of depthHow to draw challenging textures like metal and furPutting personality into your portraits40+ step-by-step demonstrations featuring a variety of people, animals and natureEasy enough so that beginners can jump right in, and comprehensive enough to help more accomplished artists refine their skills. This book covers all the essentials, teaching you the secrets of realistic drawing one step at a time, building the skills you need to tackle any subject convincingly--even those you've always thought were beyond your reach. Before you know it, you'll be turning out picturesque landscapes, stellar portraits--any subject that inspires you to put pencil to paper!

     The time-tested secrets this book discloses include Cicero’s three-step strategy for moving an audience to action—as well as Honest Abe’s Shameless Trick of lowering an audience’s expectations by pretending to be unpolished. But it’s also replete with contemporary techniques such as politicians’ use of “code” language to appeal to specific groups and an eye-opening assortment of popular-culture dodges—including The Yoda Technique, The Belushi Paradigm, and The Eddie Haskell Ploy. Whether you’re an inveterate lover of language books or just want to win a lot more anger-free arguments on the page, at the podium, or over a beer, Thank You for Arguing is for you. Written by one of today’s most popular language mavens, it’s warm, witty, erudite, and truly enlightening. It not only teaches you how to recognize a paralipsis and a chiasmus when you hear them, but also how to wield such handy and persuasive weapons the next time you really, really want to get your own way.

    In addition to the freedom to work wherever you happen to be, a MacBook offers youA portable darkroom with iPhoto Mobile music, podcasts, and Internet radio GarageBand software that lets you make your own music The ability to create and share original movies and DVDs Safari, a safer and ultra-cool Web browser, and all the other OS X advantages Whether you already have your new MacBook or are still weighing the pros and cons of various models, MacBook For Dummies is a valuable resource. For newcomers to laptop land, it's packed with basic information about using and caring for Mac laptops. It also walks you through Mac OS X, the revolutionary Macintosh operating system that makes your laptop tick. Then it's on to all the fun stuff you can do with your MacBook, like making music, editing photos and turning them into a book, creating DVDs on the road, or adding a wireless keyboard. MacBook For Dummies will help youSet up your MacBook and get acquainted with all the features of the Mac OS X Tiger operating system Use the Safari Web browser and Apple's .Mac Internet subscriber service, connect your MacBook to a printer, and communicate with your cell phone or PDA Connect to a wired or wireless network Make the most of the iLife applications that come with your MacBook--iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie HD, iDVD, and GarageBand Keep your MacBook and your data safe, troubleshoot any problems, and maintain your system Popular For Dummies author Mark Chambers has loaded this fun book with tips, ideas, and his famous "Mark's Maxims"--power user advice that will guide you around the pitfalls and make you a Macxpert in no time. From latptop basics all the way to upgrading and adding memory, MacBook For Dummies will be your MacBook's best friend.

    In Venetian glassmaking, slender rods of molten glass are shaped, then cut to reveal amazingly detailed patterns: flowers, geometric shapes, dancing colors. These slices are called millefiori, “thousand flowers,” because they form a carpet of flowers when placed side by side. Now celebrity author Donna Kato shows crafters exactly how to re-create these intricate, fascinating designs in polymer clay. The Art of Polymer Clay Millefiori Techniques reveals the entire process: how to work with the polymer clay, the basics of planning and creating a cane, and using color effectively. Dozens of canes, from simple to simply stunning, are included, and everything is clearly explained and illustrated with full-color photos, the Donna Kato way. Throughout the book, examples of stunning work by such millefiori artists as Kathy Amt, Pier Voulkos, and Kathleen Dustin provide inspiration. There must be a thousand ways to make beautiful millefiori . . . explore them all in The Art of Polymer Clay Millefiori Techniques.

     Featuring 22 crocheted dolls drawn from 16 beloved novels and plays, this easy-to-follow craft book is perfect for bibliophiles and crafters of all skill levels. Literature lovers can decorate bookshelves, proclaim a love of reading, and show off crafting skills with adorable amigurumi, sweet crocheted characters that are simple to make and impossible to resist! All that's needed are a few readily available materials and beginner crochet skills, and soon you'll be hanging out with your favorite characters from classic literature. Take tea with a charming Elizabeth Bennet. Decorate the Christmas tree with a grumpy Ebenezer Scrooge. Solve mysteries with the help of a pocket-sized Sherlock Holmes. Bring Prince Hamlet to a play. And just try to keep Huck Finn out of trouble!

    And most of them only take an afternoon! Whether it’s a casual carryall or a ritzy, patent leather clutch, the envy of your friends is only a few hours away. Why break the bank for a designer bag when you can easily make your own unique fashion statement? In Simply Sublime Bags, you’ll find 30 do-it-yourself, clever and affordable handbag projects—all of which require little to no sewing. With inventive methods of construction (like duct-taped reinforced interiors and iron fusing), these hip handbags, totes, and clutches have all the looks that bag-lovers want—the shine of patent leather, Chanel-style chain straps, or even funky logos—and each can be personalized to your own taste. The materials are easy to find in hardware, home, office supply, and fabric stores—sometimes even in your own closet!Bags include:• Charmed, I’m Sure—brightly colored vinyl makeup bags with vintage plastic charm zipper pulls• Keyhole Clutch—pink-and-white houndstooth fabric lined with duct tape, with keyhole cutouts for handles• Shower Curtain Tote—you guessed it, a funky fabric tote made from a shower curtain• Nights in Black Satin—an elegant evening clutch made from satin ribbon stapled together and adorned with a rhinestone earring claspDay to evening, totes to clutches, and everything in between, Simply Sublime Bags has something for every occasion. The results? Simply sublime!

    From best-selling author Robyn Chachula comes an in-depth look into crocheting traditional afghans using contemporary techniques, colors and patterns.Expert designers including Kristin Omdahl, Kathy Merrick, Kimberly McAlindin, and many more, provide an abundance of fresh patterns and projects that are perfect for new and advanced crocheters as they start out beginner-friendly and become more complex, allowing a crocheter to build skills and confidence. Designers at any level will enjoy:*A detailed technique’s workshop in every chapter including cables, motifs, color, lace, and Tunisian crochet.*Helpful tips from designers for working through each afghan project.*Easy-to-follow charts and diagrams.Along with tons of beautiful afghan projects for all skill levels, you’ll find many of your favorite designer’s biographies—giving you an exploration into their inspiration.

    R. Martin’s bestselling saga A Song of Ice and Fire and the runaway hit HBO series Game of Thrones are renowned for bringing Westeros’s sights and sounds to vivid life. But one important ingredient has always been missing: the mouthwatering dishes that form the backdrop of this extraordinary world. Now, fresh out of the series that redefined fantasy, comes the cookbook that may just redefine dinner . . . and lunch, and breakfast. A passion project from superfans and amateur chefs Chelsea Monroe-Cassel and Sariann Lehrer—and endorsed by George R. R. Martin himself—A Feast of Ice and Fire lovingly replicates a stunning range of cuisines from across the Seven Kingdoms and beyond. From the sumptuous delicacies enjoyed in the halls of power at King’s Landing, to the warm and smoky comfort foods of the frozen North, to the rich, exotic fare of the mysterious lands east of Westeros, there’s a flavor for every palate, and a treat for every chef. These easy-to-follow recipes have been refined for modern cooking techniques, but adventurous eaters can also attempt the authentic medieval meals that inspired them. The authors have also suggested substitutions for some of the more fantastical ingredients, so you won’t have to stock your kitchen with camel, live doves, or dragon eggs to create meals fit for a king (or a khaleesi). In all, A Feast of Ice and Fire contains more than 100 recipes, divided by region: • The Wall: Rack of Lamb and Herbs; Pork Pie; Mutton in Onion-Ale Broth; Mulled Wine; Pease Porridge• The North: Beef and Bacon Pie; Honeyed Chicken; Aurochs with Roasted Leeks; Baked Apples• The South: Cream Swans; Trout Wrapped in Bacon; Stewed Rabbit; Sister’s Stew; Blueberry Tarts• King’s Landing: Lemon Cakes; Quails Drowned in Butter; Almond Crusted Trout; Bowls of Brown; Iced Milk with Honey• Dorne: Stuffed Grape Leaves; Duck with Lemons; Chickpea Paste• Across the Narrow Sea: Biscuits and Bacon; Tyroshi Honeyfingers; Wintercakes; Honey-Spiced Locusts There’s even a guide to dining and entertaining in the style of the Seven Kingdoms. Exhaustively researched and reverently detailed, accompanied by passages from all five books in the series and full-color photographs guaranteed to whet your appetite, this is the companion to the blockbuster phenomenon that millions of stomachs have been growling for. And remember, winter is coming—so don’t be afraid to put on a few pounds.Includes a Foreword by George R. R. Martin

    When all was said and done, Gilbert Joseph Bland, Jr., had become the Al Capone of cartography. 20 illustrations throughout.

    But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.