Book picks similar to
On Flirtation by Adam Phillips
psychology
non-fiction
psychoanalysis
essays
The Flight from Intimacy: Healing Your Relationship of Counter-dependence — The Other Side of Co-dependency
Janae B. Weinhold - 2008
The Flight from Intimacy, by psychologists Janae and Barry Weinhold, reveals counter-dependency as the major barrier to creating intimate relationships. People with counter-dependent behaviors appear strong, secure, and successful on the outside, while on the inside they feel weak, fearful, insecure, and needy. They function well in the world of business but often struggle in intimate relationships. Being in a relationship with this kind of person can be extremely frustrating.The Flight from Intimacy shows readers how to recognize and cope with counter-dependent people. And if you recognize yourself in the description above, this book will help you learn how to change. It teaches readers how to use committed relationships to heal childhood wounds and provides proven ways to use conflicts as opportunities for creating intimate, partnership relationships.
NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming
Tom Hoobyar - 2013
Now, from the company that created NLP: The New Technology of Achievement—one of the bestselling NLP books of all time—comes NLP: The Essential Guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming.This user-friendly guide, written by three seasoned NLP Master Practitioners and coaches, leads you on a personal journey in using and applying NLP in everyday life. Through their real-life stories, you will experience the NLP strategies you need to achieve specific results in business and in life.As you read NLP: The Essential Guide, you'll find yourself thinking in new ways and applying the techniques to your own personal challenges and opportunities for greater satisfaction.
The New Psychology of Love
Robert J. Sternberg - 2002
. . What is it? Can we define it? What is its role in our lives? What causes love, and what dooms it? No single theory adequately answers all our questions about the nature of love, yet there are many theories that can contribute to our understanding of it. This fascinating book presents the full range of psychological theories on love—biological, taxonomical, implicit, cultural—updated with the latest research in the field.Robert Sternberg and Karin Weis have here gathered more than a dozen expert contributors to address questions about defining love, the evidence for competing theories, and practical implications. Taken together, these essays offer a comprehensive and engaging comparison of contemporary data and theories. As a follow up to The Psychology of Love, which was published in 1988 and edited by Robert Sternberg and Michael Barnes, this new collection engages with the many changes in the study of love in recent years. New theories are introduced as are modifications to existing theories. Focusing not on a single point of view but on the entire range of current theories, The New Psychology of Love provides today’s definitive account of the nature of love.
Black Sun: Depression and Melancholia
Julia Kristeva - 1987
She describes the depressive as one who perceives the sense of self as a crucial pursuit and a nearly unattainable goal and explains how the love of a lost identity of attachment lies at the very core of depression's dark heart.In her discussion she analyzes Holbein's controversial 1522 painting "The Body of the Dead Christ in the Tomb," and has revealing comments on the works of Marguerite Duras, Dostoyevsky and Nerval. Black Sun takes the view that depression is a discourse with a language to be learned, rather than just strictly a pathology to be treated.
Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
Francine Shapiro - 2012
When we are stuck, talk therapy often fails to produce the needed connections between the old emotional memory and a more grounded view of reality, and medications can have dire side effects and limited effectiveness.
In Getting Past Your Past, Francine Shapiro, who created EMDR (the “eye movement” therapy), opens the door to a scientifically proven mode of treatment used by thousands of clinicians worldwide. The book offers practical procedures that demystify the process and empower readers looking to break free from emotional roadblocks. Shapiro explains the brain science in layman’s terms and provides simple exercises that readers can do at home to achieve real change.
“I always came out of my EMDR therapist’s office reeling (in a good way); and the things I learnedhave stayed with me and enriched my conscious mind. It’s a powerful process. I recommend it.”—from The Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon
The Origins of Sex: A History of the First Sexual Revolution
Faramerz Dabhoiwala - 2012
Then she is publicly hanged alongside her attacker. These events took place in 1644, in Boston, where today they would beviewed with horror. How--and when--did such a complete transformation of our culture's attitudes toward sex occur?In The Origins of Sex, Faramerz Dabhoiwala provides a landmark history, one that will revolutionize our understanding of the origins of sexuality in modern Western culture. For millennia, sex had been strictly regulated by the Church, the state, and society, who vigorously and brutally attempted topunish any sex outside of marriage. But by 1800, everything had changed. Drawing on vast research--from canon law to court cases, from novels to pornography, not to mention the diaries and letters of people great and ordinary--Dabhoiwala shows how this dramatic change came about, tracing theinterplay of intellectual trends, religious and cultural shifts, and politics and demographics. The Enlightenment led to the presumption that sex was a private matter; that morality could not be imposed; that men, not women, were the more lustful gender. Moreover, the rise of cities erodedcommunity-based moral policing, and religious divisions undermined both church authority and fear of divine punishment. Sex became a central topic in poetry, drama, and fiction; diarists such as Samuel Pepys obsessed over it. In the 1700s, it became possible for a Church of Scotland leader tocommend complete sexual liberty for both men and women. Arguing that the sexual revolution that really counted occurred long before the cultural movement of the 1960s, Dabhoiwala offers readers an engaging and wholly original look at the Western world's relationship to sex.Deeply researched and powerfully argued, The Origins of Sex is a major work of history.
How to Stay Sane
Philippa Perry - 2012
In How to Stay Sane, she has taken these principles and applied them to self-help. Using ideas from neuroscience and sound psychological theory, she shows us how to better understand ourselves. Her idea is that if we know how our minds form and develop, we are less at the mercy of unknown unconscious processes. In this way, we can learn to be the master of our feelings and not their slave.This is a smart, pithy, readable book that everyone with even a passing interest in their psychological health will find useful.
The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships
Neil Strauss - 2015
The book jump-started the international “seduction community,” and made Strauss a household name—revered or notorious—among single men and women alike.But the experience of writing The Game also transformed Strauss into a man who could have what every man wants: the ability to date or have casual sex with almost every woman he met. The results were heady, to be sure. But they also conditioned him to view the world as a kind of constant parade of women, sex, and opportunity—with intimacy and long-term commitment taking a back seat. That is, until he met the woman who forced him to choose between herself and the parade. The choice was not only difficult, it was wrenching. It forced him deep into his past, to confront not only the moral dimensions of his pickup lifestyle, but also a wrenching mystery in his childhood that shaped the man that he became. It sent him into extremes of behavior that exposed just how conflicted his life had become. And it made him question everything he knew about himself, and about the way men and women live with and without each other.He would never be the same again.Searingly honest, compulsively readable, this book may have the same effect on you.
Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense (The Writings of Anna Freud, Vol 2)
Anna Freud - 1936
More than half a century later it enjoys the status of a classic. Written by a pioneer of child analysis, and illustrated by fascinating clinical pictures drawn from childhood and adolescence, it discusses those adaptive measures by which painful and unwanted feeling-states are kept at bay or made more bearable.Anna Freud's arguments have a clarity and cogency reminiscent of her father's and the work is remarkable undated. Nothing stands still, but The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense has unmistakably passed the test of time.
Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
Stan Tatkin - 2012
Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.Strengthen your relationship by:Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected Learning to fight so that nobody loses Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.
How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain
Lisa Feldman Barrett - 2016
Scientists have long supported this assumption by claiming that emotions are hardwired in the body or the brain. Today, however, the science of emotion is in the midst of a revolution on par with the discovery of relativity in physics and natural selection in biology—ans this paradigm shift has far-reaching implications for us all.Leading the charge is psychologist and neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, whose theory of emotion is driving a deeper understanding of the mind and brain, and shedding new light on what it means to be human. Her research overturns the widely held belief that emotions are housed in different parts of the brain and are universally expressed and recognized. Instead, she has shown that emotion is constructed in the moment, by core systems that interact across the whole brain, aided by a lifetime of learning. This new theory means that you play a much greater role in your emotional life than you ever thought. Its repercussions are already shaking the foundations not only of psychology but also of medicine, the legal system, child-rearing, meditation, and even airport security.Why do emotions feel automatic? Does rational thought really control emotion? How does emotion affect disease? How can you make your children more emotionally intelligent? How Emotions Are Made answers these questions and many more, revealing the latest research and intriguing practical applications of the new science of emotion, mind, and brain.
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate
Harriet Lerner - 2001
Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.
Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond
Judith S. Beck - 1995
The author uses a single case example to demonstrate how to conceptualize patients according to the cognitive model, plan treatment, conduct an initial session, structure therapy within and across sessions, incorporate homework, and use cognitive and behavioral techniques. Instructors will appreciate the book's emphasis on formulating cases, making decisions within therapy sessions, diagnosing problems in therapy, and using advanced techniques to modify core beliefs and underlying assumptions. Transcripts in every chapter richly illustrate the narrative.
Desire/Love
Lauren Berlant - 2012
Yet the ways in which we live sexuality and intimacy have been profoundly shaped by theories — especially psychoanalytic ones, which have helped to place sexuality and desire at the center of the modern story about what a person is and how her history should be read. At the same time, other modes of explanation have been offered by popular and mass culture. In these domains, sexual desire is not deemed the core story of life; it is mixed up with romance, a particular version of the story of love.In this small theoretical novella-cum-dictionary entry, Lauren Berlant engages love and desire in separate entries. In the first entry, Desire mainly describes the feeling one person has for something else: it is organized by psychoanalytic accounts of attachment, and tells briefly the history of their importance in critical theory and practice. The second entry, on Love, begins with an excursion into fantasy, moving away from the parent-child structure so central to psychoanalysis and looking instead at the centrality of context, environment, and history. The entry on Love describes some workings of romance across personal life and commodity culture, the place where subjects start to think about fantasy on behalf of their actual lives.Whether viewed psychoanalytically, institutionally, or ideologically, love is deemed always an outcome of fantasy. Without fantasy, there would be no love. Desire/Love takes us on a tour of all of the things that sentence might mean.
Erotism: Death and Sensuality
Georges Bataille - 1957
He challenges any single discourse on the erotic. The scope of his inquiry ranges from Emily Bronte to Sade, from St. Therese to Claude Levi-Strauss, and Dr. Kinsey; and the subjects he covers include prostitution, mythical ecstasy, cruelty, and organized war. Investigating desire prior to and extending beyond the realm of sexuality, he argues that eroticism is "a psychological quest not alien to death."