Symptoms include:*Acute embarrassment at the mere notion of making a fuss;*Extreme awkwardness when faced with any social greeting beyond a brisk handshake;*An unhealthy preoccupation with meteorology.Doctors have also reported several cases of unnecessary apologising, an obsessive interest in correct queuing etiquette and dramatic sighing in the presence of loud teenagers on public transport. If you have experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS. VERY BRITISH PROBLEMS are highly contagious. There is no known cure.Rob Temple's hilarious new book reveals all the ways in which we are a nation of socially awkward but well-meaning oddballs, struggling to make it through every day without apologising to an inanimate object. Take comfort in misfortunes of others. You are not alone.

    However, with the discovery of her grandmother's old cookery book her enforced early retirement starts to get very interesting.

    If you are a Sloane Ranger, you'll recognise the form. Mummie and Daddy will have done a proper job on that years ago. But It Never Hurts To Be Sure.

    No one is actually compatible with anyone else/ we just all get swept away by lust or, deafened by the thrashmetal tick of the biological clock, shut down all critical facilities. Part 1 of Darkside Zodiac in Love is "I'm Your Venus," which is all about the planet of L.O.V.E. and Libra and Taurusthe signs it rules directlyand the havoc they can play in our lives. Part 2 shows how love hurts all the way around the zodiac. It identifies the cheaters, describes how members of each sign conduct themselves on dates and perform in bed, and provides compatibility charts and blinddate guides. Darkside Zodiac in Love will help readers take a cold, hard look at all the shabby tricks, manipulations, lies, and cruel intentions each sun sign tries to hide. It won't mend a broken heart, but it will tell readers who they are compatible with and who is likely to murder them in their sleep! It also tells readers what conniving, twotiming, icyhearted little love rats they really are, but then nothing comes for free, does it?! * Snarky, snarkywe all take love too seriously and astrology not seriously enough.

    No more romantic cul-de-sacs. No more saying "Yes" when you mean "No." Don't even pretend you don't know what I'm talkingabout.Your Inner Bitch, that integral, powerful part of you, is essential when you're falling in love, and even more essential when you're falling out of love. Looking for romance? Looking for a date? Looking for a relationship? Let your Inner Bitch be your guide."Remember, lust makes you stupid." --Nicole Hollander

    This book includes information on superstars such as Elvis, cool classical megastars such as Mozart, and mega pop legends such as The Beatles and Oasis.

    From walking along the deserted beaches in South Harris to whale-watching in Mull - inspired by dozens of photos - the 24-page, full-colour introduction highlights all the ''things-not-to-miss''. In addition, there are two, brand-new, 4-page, full-colour inserts: ''Wildlife'' and ''Food & Drink''. The guide includes listings of all the top hotels, guesthouses and the best places to eat and sample the local whiskies. There is plenty of practical advice for exploring the great ''Scottish'' outdoors, from bagging munros to skiing on The Cairngorm mountains. The guide comes complete with maps and plans for the entire region.

    This crafty revision of English vocabulary posits that Platypus should signify “to give your cat pigtails;” that Flemish should mean “rather like snot;” and that Celtic is in fact a prison for fleas. With nearly 600 new definitions, this side-splitting resource pushes the boundaries of the English language to riotous new limits.

    From much-loved classics such as Lewis Carroll's curious 'Jabberwocky' to lesser known and forgotten gems such as Gelett Burgess's 'The Purple Cow', Griff Rhys Jones takes us on a poetic tour of witty, nonsensical and plain laugh-out-loud funny poems. The selection brings together poets from every age and every walk of life, from Shakespeare to Victoria Wood and from Keats to Benjamin Zephaniah. There is Roald Dahl's cunning variation on 'Little Red Riding Hood', Spike Milligan's brilliantly ridiculous 'On the Ning Nang Nong' as well as several entries from the ever-elusive Anon, including one delightfully succint 'Peas'. Remembered, half-remembered, cherished or written on a tea towel, here are some of the nation's favourite comic poems.

    Except maybe her posh long-lost grandmother Matilda...But life isn't going well for Matilda either. The acclaimed etiquette books she wrote in her youth are no longer selling, her mortgage repayments are enormous and now her disheveled granddaughter has turned up out of the blue and she is not at all what Matilda hoped she'd be...In an attempt to get a new book deal and make some much needed money, Jess and Matilda decide to use Matilda's old etiquette guides and teach messy, modern Jess how to become the ultimate demure lady. The true test of their project will be to capture the heart of the sexy, notorious playboy Leo Frost and prove that Matilda's guides still work.Transforming Jess from trashy to tasteful will be no easy feat, and when Leo starts falling for Jess's newfound charms, what started out as a way to make some cash suddenly becomes a whole lot more complicated ...**THIS BOOK WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED UNDER THE TITLE THE VINTAGE GUIDE TO LOVE AND ROMANCE/LESSONS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE**Laugh your socks off with this hilarious feel-good chick lit read! It's packed with laugh out loud feel good moments, swoony, sexy romance, and truly unforgettable characters ! If you like funny romance books by Sophie Kinsella, Christina Lauren or Sophie Ranald, then you'll LOVE this hilarious laugh-out-loud romantic comedy from bestselling romance author Kirsty Greenwood.

    She knows how to scratch upright surfaces, cough up hairballs, send messages with her pee, and party all night. To the feline mind, these are the stuff of everyday life--as important as sleeping all day and grooming for several hours using nothing but your tongue.Your clever kitty knows you very well (after all, she sits and stares at you when you're in the bathroom). But how well do you know her? Find out why cats knead against us, the best way to hold a cat, how cats can jump onto your kitchen counters without even a running start, why they chew on your sweaters.Award-winning pet experts Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori explain the ins and outs of the feline psyche. Because the better you understand cats, the easier it is to love the kitty on your couch. Can you teach an old cat new tricks? You bet! Expecting a baby? It's perfectly okay to keep your cat. What about kittens? You'll find everything you always wanted to know about feline sex but were afraid to ask.Your cat's not crazy, but she can be mysterious. Did you know cats can tell time? They talk with their tails and walk on their toes. And there are even rumors that some cats are descendents of space aliens. It's no wonder the ancient Egyptians were not the only ones who worshipped them.You'll also find the answers to questions that tend to tickle your curiosity: Why do cats' eyes glow in the dark? What's in catnip that makes kitties so silly? Can curiosity really kill a cat?You've got questions? This book's got answers. Do cats always land on their feet? Find out!

    Can Clementine save them all, or has she bitten off more than she can chew by stepping into the oddest little chocolate shop in London?

     For the ever-so dashing Lord of the Manor Tobias Cavendish-Blake and his new wife Megan, it's a great advertising opportunity as they've recently opened up their home, Treweham Hall, to the public. And for the chef at the local pub The Templar, Finula, the arrival of the brooding director Marcus Devlin, means her love life is looking up. Whilst at the racing stables, jockey and trainer Dylan Delaney is hoping the exposure will help him find new owners and horses for him and his partner Flora to train. But there is more to Marcus Devlin than meets the eye, and he has very personal reasons for heading to the Cotswolds. And once his plans become clear, life in Treweham may never be the same again. 'I couldn't put this book down and was gripped from the very first page! I was so engulfed in the characters and life in Treweham, that I actually felt a little lost when I had finished it' Amazon reviewer on A Country Scandal.

    is a casino).Did you know:• The Pentagon was constructed so that no point in the building is more than a ten-minute walk from any other point?• Vultures’ stomach acid is so corrosive they can digest anthrax?• Farmers in India use Coca-Cola and Pepsi as cheap and effective pesticides?Discover all this and much, much more in this treasure trove of trivia for the social media age.

    All behind the outrageous antics of this wildly - witty Bengal kitten that turned our Empty Nest upside-down.After twenty-seven years of marriage, Diane and I had finally graduated, earning and acquiring our combined Degree with all the rights and privileges awarded to those now holding the official and distinguished title of Empty Nester!But as I turned and headed for home, the bloody wind blew up again, blowing open the front of my robe so wide that it demanded and required I immediately place Kitten in front of my naughty bits so as to avoid having someone call the authorities.