Funny Quotes: 560 Humorous Sayings that Will Keep You Laughing Even After Reading Them
Saeed Sikiru - 2014
So waste no more time, scroll up this page and order the the ebook right now.
Daisy Days: Hilarious Misadventures
Lynne Gumbleton - 2019
How did we ever find time to go to work. New to Caravanning. Its mishaps. Its pleasures. Its fun. Susie and Jack take early retirement and end up biting off more than they can chew. An unexpected inheritance changes their lives forever.
Cappuccino and Chick-Chat
Debbie Viggiano - 2019
I’m the ditzy one that gives blondes a bad name’. Cappuccino and Chick-Chat is a riotous read about Debbie Viggiano’s candid observations in her often-chaotic world. Whether it’s losing her car, attempting cosmic ordering, freaking herself out manifesting a can of cola, or buying sweaters in shades that flatter her frequently flushed face, Debbie takes her reader on a madcap journey while trying to see the lighter side of life. It’s the perfect bedtime read. What readers are saying about Debbie’s books: ‘My favourite book this year… had me literally LAUGHING OUT LOUD… This book had me laughing and crying. I loved it and recommend it for everyone!’ Being Miss Meg, 5 stars ‘Absolutely hilarious. It is so easy for any woman to relate to this book… sooooo good. I read this in just a few hours as I simply couldn’t put it down. Go and grab your copy now. It’s one everyone will be talking about this year.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘Wow!... Honest, heartfelt and totally hilarious! Such an amazing read, I found myself either smiling or laughing constantly... Bl**dy brilliant!! I love it!... a must read for every woman this summer.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘Made me smile, giggle and laugh out loud. I loved it and would recommend it to anyone.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘Funny from the very beginning until the end, and there were some laugh out loud moments which I loved… I was reading this at 2am!... had me giggling away. I ended up reading this in one sitting, I just couldn't put it down. Thanks for one hell of a laugh Debbie!’The Bookend Reviews, 5 stars ‘Loved this book from the very first word.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘My first read of Debbie Viggiano, and I can't wait to read more!... Entertaining from beginning to end.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘Funny from beginning to end… quite often had me nodding in recognition of some of the situations.’ A Good Book and a Brew, 5 stars ‘OMGoodness – what a treat… a chuckly book, with a light heart.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘This author certainly knows how to make you laugh.’ 5 stars, B for Book Review,
101 foolproof jokes to use in case of emergency
Adam Kisiel - 2012
Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results."I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left.""Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?""Ten," the doctor says sadly."Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!""Nine..."
The Darker Side of Mummy Misfit
Amanda Egan - 2011
THE SEQUEL TO 'DIARY OF A MUMMY MISFIT'Think you knew Mummy Misfit?Well, you might be in for a surprise.After a year of struggling with school fees, trying to become pregnant and feeling like she didn’t belong amongst the prep-school ‘Meemies’, Libby is back.Only this time, she’s got it all.But how long can it last and will she ever be truly happy?Join Libby on her hilarious, yet sensitive journey as loyalty, friendships and values are tested in‘The Darker Side of Mummy Misfit’.
Text Fails From Mum
Your Mum - 2016
Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.
Wacky Words: Vocabulary Cartoons
Elliot Carruthers - 2015
Clever and funny cartoons makes learning new words fun and entertaining.
The Onion Presents a Book of Jean's Own!: All New Wit, Wisdom, and Wackiness from the Onion's Beloved Humor Columnist
Jean Teasdale - 2010
Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!
Sexy Liberal!: Of Me I Sing
Stephanie Miller - 2015
With Arbitron ratings clocking over 3+ million listeners a week and simulcast daily in 37 million homes on Free Speech TV, where she is also the number one show, her strongest numbers are in the grand prize demographic of highly educated males 25-54, despite, or maybe because of , her status as an out gay woman. It probably explains the sublime effectiveness of her national billboard slogan: "Stephanie Miller...making men rise in the morning". Stephanie also headlined the country’s number one comedy tour, “Stephanie Miller’s Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour", as well as the number one comedy album, "Stephanie Miller's Sexy Liberal Comedy Album". She has recently had her second #1 comedy album in the country with her "Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour, Volume One". She frequents the Holy Trinity of cable news: CNN, MSNBC, and FOX, where she bursts the infallibility balloons of right wingers, often with one well-aimed pinpoint punchline. Here is SEXY LIBERAL!, which you can see as Al Franken rewritten by Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler horizontal on the desk of The Daily Show. Steph is the youngest child of Congressman William Miller of NY, Barry Goldwater’s running mate in 1964. We all know how that turned out. Though Steph was only 3, she shows here how that defeat affected her as much as it changed the Republican Party. It made her who she is. SEXY LIBERAL! is the book her 3,000,000 fans have been begging her to write. it’s both deeply personal and hilariously political. But most of all it is Stephanie’s unique voice, her jokes, her happy clappy optimism, and her truth that they tune in to day after day, that they download as a subscription podcast, that they buy tickets for, to see her unbleeped and in person. That’s what SEXY LIBERAL! delivers. Like an uncensored comedy drone right to your door!“Stephanie Miller is like ice cream for breakfast, or box-wine through a Krazy Straw: pure pleasure that some people say is bad for you, but you know better. Sexy Liberal! is deeply, deeply profane, big-hearted, surprising, and it might make you pee your pants a little. Just what you need! Read this book. Stephanie Miller for Everything, 2016!”--Rachel Maddow, host of The Rachel Maddow and author of Drift: The Unmooring of American Military Power “Sexy Liberal! is a great book with mind-expanding astuteness and side-splitting humor. Stephanie Miller is so wondrously witty and wise you will want to quote her. But, first, you must read her. Buy this book and help Amazon at last turn a profit. --Lily Tomlin “Sexy Liberal! is inspired reading. It is laugh-enhancing and beyond thought-provoking! A must read. --Jane Wagner Reading Stephanie's book is like being on the best kind of dinner date. The conversation is smart, funny and politically insightful. And Stephanie's contribution bad either. Seriously, what a fun read. Stephanie, in her wonderfully self-deprecating way, lets you into her brilliant mind, her no BS take on the political scene, and life itself. Enter at your own risk.--Rob Reiner
Return to the Big Fancy: A Riotous Descent Into the Depths of Customer, Corporate, and Coworker Hell
Freeman Hall - 2012
But instead of fame and fortune, he found himself stuck behind a wall of script-killing rewrites, unable to make a living.In Return to the Big Fancy, Freeman shares his wildly entertaining journey back through the fiery gates of Retail Hell. He thought he had seen it all in his day, but with the bar set higher than ever before, employees are now graciously bowing before Corporate as they climb over fellow salespeople, and even friends, to earn enough transactions and commissions to actually survive. As he learns more of the wretchedness that has befallen the sales floor, he realizes that The Big Fancy has its customers and its employees on a short leash. But leave it to Freeman and the threat of disappearing commissions to rally the retail slaves and show Corporate who's really in charge!
Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault
Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.
Stupid 911 Calls (Volume 1)
S. Schell - 2011
A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!
A Rosie Life In Italy: Why Are We Here?
Rosie Meleady - 2020
Everyone dismisses her long-term dream to live in Italy as another ‘mad hippy whim.’ While she’s busy planning other people’s happy endings, grief, eviction and debt nip at her heels. Trying to stabilise her life as an entrepreneur in the middle of an economic crash is almost impossible.When her landlord suddenly doubles the rent, Rosie is left with no choice but to pack up her family, two dogs and possessions into a 20-year-old camper van and head off in search of her own happy ending in sunny Italy.She soon discovers integrating into life in a new country isn’t as easy as it looks on TV, especially when the language is a minefield of accidental sexual innuendo. And trying to buy an abandoned villa in Umbria from eight crazy cousins with a longstanding family battle bubbling under the surface doesn’t make it any easier. While Rosie is determined to create the perfect life for her family in Italy, despite a hurricane, a raucous family dispute and a little thing called a global pandemic to top it all off, she begins to realise that the Italian dream may be too big for her. Will she ever get to live her rosy life in Italy? Or has she bitten off more than she can chew?