Book picks similar to
Undertaken With Love: A Home Funeral Guide for Families and Community Care Groups by Holly Stevens
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All Gone
Alex Witchel - 2012
Just past seventy, Alex Witchel’s smart, adoring, ultracapable mother began to exhibit undeniable signs of dementia. Her smart, adoring, ultracapable daughter reacted as she’d been raised: If something was broken, they would fix it. But as medical reality undid that hope, and her mother continued the torturous process of disappearing in plain sight, Witchel retreated to the kitchen, trying to reclaim her mother at the stove by cooking the comforting foods of her childhood: “Is there any contract tighter than a family recipe?” Reproducing the perfect meat loaf was no panacea, but it helped Witchel come to terms with her predicament, the growing phenomenon of “ambiguous loss ”— loss of a beloved one who lives on. Gradually she developed a deeper appreciation for all the ways the parent she was losing lived on in her, starting with the daily commandment “Tell me everything that happened today” that started a future reporter and writer on her way. And she was inspired to turn her experience into this frank, bittersweet, and surprisingly funny account that offers true balm for an increasingly familiar form of heartbreak.
A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows through Loss
Jerry Sittser - 1995
In an instant, a tragic car accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother, his wife, and his young daughter. While most of us will not experience such a catastrophic loss in our lifetime, all of us will taste it. And we can, if we choose, know as well the grace that transforms it. A Grace Disguised plumbs the depths of sorrow, whether due to illness, divorce, or the loss of someone we love. The circumstances are not important; what we do with those circumstances is. In coming to the end of ourselves, we can come to the beginning of a new life one marked by spiritual depth, joy, compassion, and a deeper appreciation of simple blessings.
Bobby Wonderful: An Imperfect Son Buries His Parents
Bob Morris - 2015
His father's was "Wonderful." Together they inspired the title for this true story of love and redemption. Bob Morris was always the entertainer in his family, but not always a perfect son. When he finds his parents approaching the end of their lives, he begins to see his relationship to them in a whole new light and it changes his way of thinking. How does an adult child with flaws and limitations figure out how to do his best for his ailing parents while still carrying on and enjoying his own life? And when their final days on earth come, how can he give them the best possible end? In the tradition of bestselling memoirs by Christopher Buckley, Joan Didion, and with a dash of David Sedaris, Bobby Wonderful recounts two poignant deaths and one family's struggle to find the silver lining in them. As accessible as he is insightful, Bob Morris infuses each moment of his profound emotional journey with dark comedy, spiritual inquiry and brutally honest self-examination. This is a little book. But it captures a big and universal experience.
Baby Dust
Deanna Roy - 2011
Dot believes the wrath of God caused her baby to die. Teenage Tina is trolling internet dating sites for a father for another baby, and Janet’s failure to cry means her wedding is off. Stella, the support group leader, must help them while facing the old choices that cost her ever having a family of her own.Based on the stories of dozens of real survivors, Baby Dust is a moving tribute to the strength of mothers who must endure this impossible loss.
Beyond the High Blue Air
Lu Spinney - 2017
. ." He lands hard on the ice and falls into a coma. This begins the erratic loss -- Miles first in a coma and then trapped in a fluctuating state of minimal consciousness -- that unravels over the next five years. Spinney, her husband, and three other children put their lives on hold to tend to Miles at various hospitals and finally in a care home. They hold out hope that he will be returned to them. With blunt precision, Spinney chronicles her family's intimate experience. This is a story about ambiguous loss: the disappearance of someone who is still there. Three quarters of the way through, however, Spinney's story takes a turn. The family and, to the degree that he can communicate, Miles himself come to view ending his life as the only possible release from the prison of his body and mind. Spinney, cutting her last thread of hope, wishes for her son to die. And yet, even as she allows this difficult revelation to settle, she learns that this is not her decision to make. Because Miles is diagnosed as a being in a -minimally conscious state- rather than a -persistent vegetative state, - there is no legal way to bring about his death, a bewildering paradox that Spinney navigates with compassion and wisdom. Encompassing the lyrical revelations of a memoir like Jean-Dominique Bauby's THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY and the crucial medical and moral insights of a book such as Atul Gawande's BEING MORTAL, Lu Spinney's BEYOND THE HIGH BLUE AIR is at once a portrait of the fearlessness of familial love and the profound dilemma posed by modern medicine.
A Matter of Death and Life
Irvin D. Yalom - 2019
But never had he faced the need to counsel himself until his wife, esteemed feminist author Marilyn Yalom, was diagnosed with cancer. In A Matter of Death and Life, Marilyn and Irv share how they took on profound new struggles: Marilyn to die a good death, Irv to live on without her.In alternating accounts of their last months together and Irv's first months alone, they offer us a rare window into facing mortality and coping with the loss of one's beloved. The Yaloms had numerous blessings--a loving family, a Palo Alto home under a magnificent valley oak, a large circle of friends, avid readers around the world, and a long, fulfilling marriage--but they faced death as we all do. With the wisdom of those who have thought deeply, and the familiar warmth of teenage sweethearts who've grown up together, they investigate universal questions of intimacy, love, and grief.Informed by two lifetimes of experience, A Matter of Death and Life is an openhearted offering to anyone seeking support, solace, and a meaningful life.
Death's Summer Coat: What the History of Death and Dying Teaches Us About Life and Living
Brandy Schillace - 2015
And yet we have grown used to denying its existence, treating it as an enemy to be beaten back with medical advances.We are living at a unique point in human history. People are living longer than ever, yet the longer we live, the more taboo and alien our mortality becomes. Yet we, and our loved ones, still remain mortal. People today still struggle with this fact, as we have done throughout our entire history. What led us to this point? What drove us to sanitize death and make it foreign and unfamiliar?Schillace shows how talking about death, and the rituals associated with it, can help provide answers. It also brings us closer together—conversation and community are just as important for living as for dying. Some of the stories are strikingly unfamiliar; others are far more familiar than you might suppose. But all reveal much about the present—and about ourselves.
The 9/11 Dogs: The Heroes Who Searched for Survivors at Ground Zero
Isabel George - 2014
Not all of them showed human courage. Some of them could only show that they were truly man’s best friend. German Shepherds, Labradors and Spaniels accounted for the majority of the four-legged heroes.Over three hundred search and rescue dogs worked the pile at Ground Zero and the crash site at the Pentagon. For hours they searched, fighting off exhaustion with sheer determination and they continued every day long after the hope of finding survivors had passed.There were faithful Guide dogs who helped their sightless owners out of the Twin Towers and led them to safety showed unstinting devotion in the face of adversity. And later, therapy dogs arrived to bring comfort to the bereaved and confused. At every stage of the operation, dogs were there helping humankind in various roles. And invaluably, they provided comfort and reassurance and lifted spirits by their pure presence.Sadly many of the dogs are no longer with us but their achievements will never be forgotten. Isabel George was fortunate that the people close to the dogs were pleased to be asked to share their stories. This book is to honour the dogs and their people.
The Whole Death Catalog: A Lively Guide to the Bitter End
Harold Schechter - 2009
With his trademark fearlessness and bracing sense of humor, Schechter digs deep into a wealth of sources to unearth a treasure trove of surprising facts, amusing anecdotes, practical information, and timeless wisdom about that undiscovered country to which we will all one day travel. Topics include• Death anxiety–is your fear of death normal or off the scale? • You can’t take it with you . . . or can you? Wacky wills and bizarre bequests• The hospice experience–going out in comfort and style• Deathbed and funeral etiquette–how to help the dying and mourn the dead with dignity• Death on demand–why the right-to-die movement may be the next big thing• “Good-bye everybody”–famous last words• The embalmer’s art–all dressed up and nowhere to go• Behind the scenes at your local funeral home• Alternative burial choices–from coral reefs to outer spaceFrom the cold, hard facts of death to lessons in the art of dying well, from what happens in the body’s last living moments to what transpires in the ground or in the furnace, from near-death experiences to speculation on the afterlife, The Whole Death Catalog leaves no gravestone unturned.
We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead
Pat Schwiebert - 2003
A new book from the author of "When Hello Means Goodbye." Created especially for children who are suffering the loss of their families pregnancy.
Comforting Thoughts About Death That Have Nothing to Do with God
Greta Christina - 2014
But we don't need religion to find peace, comfort, and solace in the face of death. In this mini-book collection of essays, prominent atheist author Greta Christina offers secular ways to handle your own mortality and the death of those you love.Blending intensely personal experience with compassionate, down-to-earth wisdom, Christina ("Coming Out Atheist" and "Why Are You Atheists So Angry?") explores a variety of natural philosophies of death. She shows how reality can be more comforting than illusion, shatters the myth that there are no atheists in foxholes -- and tells how humanism got her through one of the grimmest times of her life.“In this book Greta Christina tackles the subject of death with the insight of a philosopher and the relaxed candor of a friend — that really cool, intelligent friend who understands and cares.”-David Niose, author of "Fighting Back the Right: Reclaiming America from the Attack on Reason"“This is a book about the philosophy of death that actually confronts the practical reality of it, and helps you come to practical terms with it… The best book on the atheist philosophy of death you are likely ever to read.”-Richard Carrier, author of "On the Historicity of Jesus" and "Sense and Goodness without God"“Reading this book felt like one of those moments, standing in a dark and silent room, when glass powder strikes red phosphorous and turns a little of it into white phosphorous, which causes a match to light up in a warming flame. I want to show it (the book, not the match) to all my friends who are dealing with death, which is of course all of my friends. Thank you for writing it!”-Greg M. Epstein, Humanist Chaplain at Harvard University“When I was very young, I lost someone close to me in a car accident. Almost more painful than the loss was the way by which those around me attempted to find meaning in the senseless death of a young person. This is the book that seven-year-old me needed instead of the endless religious tracts that assured me that everything happens for a reason.”-Heina Dadabhoy, Heinous Dealings blog“Bravo, Greta Christina. Your book is a feat of logic, wisdom, compassion, insight, humor, and lived experience presented in the most accessible way. Your ideas are compelling and I wish your words could be made available in hotel rooms everywhere, tucked into the drawer of the nightstand, in addition to hospital waiting rooms, train and bus stations, airports and classrooms. Death is certainly a Big Deal but humanism and non-belief have plenty of comfort to offer, as you so eloquently have put forth. In short, ‘What she said.'”-Nina Hartley, author of "Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex"“Greta Christina continues to provide unique advice and information to the growing community of seculars. We all need to consider our mortality and learn positive and productive ways to deal with our inevitable deadline. Thanks for this little book of wisdom. Christina has written a handbook we can all use. But it should be in the hands of every hospital and military chaplain, every hospice care giver,even ministers, etc. No secular person should be subjected to supernatural ideas and wishful thinking when they are dealing with death, dying and grief.”-Darrel Ray, founder, Recovering from Religion“Greta Christina’s new book transcends merely ‘enjoyable.’ Joy, tranquility, truth — I feel these while reading it.
Corpses, Coffins, and Crypts: A History of Burial
Penny Colman - 1997
The text, enriched with stories both humorous and poignant, includes details about the decomposition and embalming processes (an adult corpse buried six feet deep without a coffin will usually take five to ten years to turn into a skeleton) and describes the various customs associated with containing remains (the Igala people in Nigeria have a custom of burying people in as many as twenty-seven layers of clothing). Intriguing facts are revealed at every turn; for example, in Madagascar winter was considered the corpse-turning season.This comprehensive book also includes a list of burial sites of famous people, images in the arts associated with death, fascinating epitaphs and gravestone carvings, a chronology and a glossary, and over a hundred black-and-white photographs, most of which were taken by the author.Penny Colman writes with compassion and intelligence and humanizes the difficult subjects of death and burial. The result is a powerful look at an inevitable part of life--death.
The Conversation: A Revolutionary Plan for End-of-Life Care
Angelo E. Volandes - 2015
Two thirds of Americans die in healthcare institutions tethered to machines and tubes at bankrupting costs, even though research shows that most prefer to die at home in comfort, surrounded by loved ones.Dr. Angelo E. Volandes believes that a life well lived deserves a good ending. Through the stories of seven patients and seven very different end-of-life experiences, he demonstrates that what people with a serious illness, who are approaching the end of their lives, need most is not new technologies but one simple thing: The Conversation. He argues for a radical re-envisioning of the patient-doctor relationship and offers ways for patients and their families to talk about this difficult issue to ensure that patients will be at the center and in charge of their medical care.It might be the most important conversation you ever have.
Seven Clues to Home
Gae Polisner - 2020
Or maybe she's more worried he didn't hear.Either way, she's decided: she's going to finally open the first clue to their annual birthday scavenger hunt Lukas left for her the morning he died, hoping the rest of the clues are still out there. If they are, they might lead Joy to whatever last words Lukas wrote, and toward understanding how to grab onto the future that is meant to be hers.I truly loved it! Baskin and Polisner seamlessly unfold one touching relationship after another in this gorgeous story about everlasting friendship. This tender tale is indelibly etched on my heart. --Leslie Connor, author of the National Book Award finalist The Truth as Told by Mason ButtlePolisner and Baskin's brief tale of two quite distant friends magically manages to bridge an uncrossable gap. Seven Clues to Home is both a charming mystery and a real meditation on the complexities of the young heart in love. --Tony Abbott, Edgar Award-winning author of Firegirl and The Great JeffI read this whole book with a lump in my throat. A perfect gem. --Wendy Mass, New York Times bestselling coauthor of Bob