Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answers to some of those questions, such as the following:1. Who is Lemony?2. Is there a secret organization I should know about?3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans?4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books contain a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice?5. If there's nothing out there, what was that noise?Our advice to you is that you find a book that answers less upsetting questions than this one. Perhaps your librarian, bookseller, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?"

    Simple, rhyming text and colorful cartoon cats help children expand their vocabularies and gain an appreciation for the rhythm of language in this lighthearted book of rhyming verse. Adjectives like frilly, silly, polka-dotted, fizzy, and spunky are printed in color, and all the words will tickle you pink!

    You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.”Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.

    Used Book in good condition. No missing/ torn pages. No stains. Note: The above used product classification has been solely undertaken by the seller. Amazon shall neither be liable nor responsible for any used product classification undertaken by the seller. A-to-Z Guarantee not applicable on used products.

    With "The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary," author Jeff Kinney shared his Hollywood experience on the set and explained to readers how a major motion picture gets made. That was just the beginning of the story. Now, in this revised and expanded edition, Jeff Kinney fills in the rest of the moviemaking process with more inside stories, new artwork, and exclusive images. Also included is a special sneak peek at "Rodrick Rules," the new movie coming in March 2011. This revised and expanded edition of "The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary" is the perfect companion to the bestselling series.A NEWER, REVISED AND EXPANDED EDITION OF THIS BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary (DOG DAYS EDITION), ISBN 978-1419706424. INCLUDES 32 NEW PAGES ABOUT THE THIRD WIMPY KID MOVIE, DOG DAYS, PLUS AN ALL-NEW COVER ILLUSTRATION.

    He complained that his father, the great king of Macedon, wasn't leaving anything for him to conquer! This, of course, was not the case. King Alexander went on to control most of the known world of the time. His victories won him many supporters, but they also earned him enemies. This easy-to-read biography offers a fascinating look at the life of Alexander and the world he lived in.

    It tells the story of two parents from different cultural, linguistic, and ethnic-racial backgrounds who joined to raise their two children with their heritage languages outside their native countries. It also tells the children's story and the way they negotiated three cultures and languages and developed a trilingual identity. It sheds light on how parental support contributed to the children's simultaneous acquisition of three languages in an environment where the main input of the two heritage languages came respectively from the father and from the mother. It addresses the challenges and the unique language developmental characteristics of the two children during their trilingual acquisition process.

    Birthday: February 18Sex: Female Where she lives: In the house, on the couch, underfootHer favorite pastime: Blogging, sleepingHer best feature: Her toe beans Her favorite food: All of themPusheen is a pleasantly plump cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print in her first comic collection! Learn what makes her purr and find out why millions of people have already fallen in love with this naughty, adorable kitty. Featuring some of the most popular stories from Pusheen’s Tumblr and Facebook pages (plus a healthy serving of never-before-seen material), I Am Pusheen the Cat is a treat for cat lovers and comics fans alike.

    30,000 first printing."

    Writing with her customary charm and erudition, Dent offers a wonderfully readable and endlessly entertaining exploration of language, answering 101 of the most intriguing questions about the English language, from word origins and spelling to grammar and usage. Dent ranges far and wide in her search for the oddities of language, pondering the ancient origin of the word tragedy (which originally meant goat song in Greek) as well as the modern meaning of the word donk in the Blackout Crew's song title Put a Donk in It. And throughout, the book brims with fascinating tales. Readers learn, for instance, that the word bankrupt comes from the Italian banca rotta or broken bench and the word broke (meaning out of funds) has the same origin. Dent explains that in the sixteenth century, money lenders conducted their business on benches outdoors and the usual Italian word for bench was banca (hence today's bank). The author also provides an entertaining account of the origin of the term white elephant (meaning a useless, burdensome possession) that dates back to ancient Siam, where rare white elephants were always given to the king. But since by law white elephants couldn't be worked (and earn money) or even be ridden, the king often re-gifted these worthless burdens to courtiers whom he didn't like. Sparkling with insight and linguistic curiosity, this delightful compendium will be irresistible to anyone fascinated with language--the perfect gift for word lovers everywhere.

    There is a better way.Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting brings the joy back into family life and helps parents to raise confident, responsible adults. Based on her forty-plus years of experience, behavioral specialist Noël Janis-Norton outlines a clear, step-by-step plan that will help any parent raise a child who is cooperative and considerate, confident and self-reliant. Transform your family life with these five strategies: Descriptive Praise, Preparing for Success, Reflective Listening, Never Ask Twice and Rewards and Consequences. You’ll begin to see results almost immediately: • Kids start cooperating the first time you ask • Mornings, bedtimes, mealtimes and homework all become easier • Even very resistant kids start saying” yes” instead of “no” Full of examples and real stories from parents, this book gives you the complete tool-kit to achieve Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting.

    Norman Baker said that about his autobiography. Why? He was a jackass. In the pages of this book meet 20 losers, killers, confidence tricksters, and incompetents - the Jackasses of History. For adult readers.

    It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.

    Half the 'rules' they use to humiliate others are really just judgement calls and the rest they don't even understand themselves. Learn the truth of basic grammar and punctuation from June Casagrande in chapters like:I'm Writing This While Naked--The Oh-So Steamy Predicate NominativeI'll Take "I Feel Like a Moron" for $200, Alex--When to Put Punctuation Inside Quotation MarksSnobbery Up with Which You Should Not Put--PrepositionsHyphens--Life-Sucking, Mom-and-Apple-Pie-Hating, Mime-Loving, Nerd-Fight-Inciting Daggers of the DamnedIn this collection of hilarious anecdotes and essays Casagrande delivers practical lessons not found anywhere else, demystifying the subject and taking it back from the snobs.

    Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes for Kids provides children ages 7-10 many hours of fun and laughter. Young readers will have a blast sharing this collection of hundreds of one-liners, knock knock jokes, tongue twisters, and more with their friends and family! This brand new book will have children rolling on the floor with laughter and is sure to be a great gift idea for any child.