If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.

    Jay Paterno paints a full picture of his father’s life and career as well as documenting that almost none of the horrific crimes that came to light in 2012 took place at PennState. Jay Paterno clear-headedly confronts the events that happened with cool facts and with passion, demonstrating that this was just one more case of an innocent man convicted by the media for a crime in which he had no part. Noting that the scandal itself was but a short moment in Joe Paterno’s life and legacy, the book focuses on Paterno’s greatness as a father and grandfather, his actions as a miraculous coach to his players, and his skillful dealings with his assistant coaches. A memorial to one of the greatest coaches in college football history, the book also reveals insightful anecdotes from his son and coaching pupil.

    His hilarious syndicated newspaper column and numerous best-selling books have sparked the kind of adulation that's often reserved for rock stars or world leaders. His wit cuts right to the core of life's absurdities.In My Teenage Son's Greatest Goal in Life Is to Make Me Feel 3,500 Years Old and Other Thoughts on Parenting from Dave Barry, Dave shares his hopes, fears, and insights about his own stint as a father. Most people make babies out to be very complicated, but the truth is they have only three moods: Mood One: Just about to cry. Mood Two: Crying. Mood Three: Just finished crying.

    Granted unprecedented access to the team's top management and financial data, Pluto delivers an up-close account of how decisions were made to radically reshape the franchise. Indians fans grew accustomed to winning in the mid-1990s. They had an owner with deep pockets, a brand-new ballpark, and a team of high-priced all stars who delivered a division championship nearly every year. But that glorious ride ended with a jolt of reality after savvy owner Richard Jacobs sold the franchise at the top of the market in 2000. New owners Larry and Paul Dolan and new general manager Mark Shapiro faced a challenge: an aging team, a mounting payroll, and a shrinking budget. First they made mistakes. Then they made bold changes. Stars such as Manny Ramirez, Roberto Alomar, and Jim Thome were gone, replaced with roster of unproven youngsters and veteran rehab projects. Fans were alarmed and dismayed. Then, in 2002, Shapiro boldly predicted that the Indians would return to contend for the playoffs after just three years of rebuilding. Critics scoffed. Yet at the end of the 2005 season, the Indians were indeed back in contention, one tantalizing game away from a return to the playoffs. The core of an exciting young team was beginning to take shape, and Shapiro was voted American League Executive of the Year as his team won an impressive 93 games despite a payroll ranked in baseball's bottom five. How was it done? In his familiar clear writing style, Pluto carefully explains the manyrisky moves made by management and tells which ones have paid off, which ones haven?t, and why. This rare behind-the-scenes look at a modern front office will intrigue fantasy leaguers and fans fascinated by baseball dealmaking. It will be an eye-opener for Indians fans who may still be wondering, What happened to my team?

    Her mother seems determined to sabotage every job, every relationship, and every aspect of her life. So how can a Thanksgiving dinner at her mom's house be anything but delicious? Join Gracie in her search for a man, a career, a life, and a delicious dinner she can call her own.

    

    When Michael’s mother receives a harrowing medical diagnosis, Michael begins a laugh-out-loud examination of health, happiness, and the human body from the perspective of a settled (and sedentary) husband and father of two. With the trademark wit that has made Michael’s other books popular favorites, Navel Gazing is a heartfelt and poignant memoir about coming to terms with growing older and the inevitability of death. It is also a self-deprecating and deliciously frank remembrance of exercise failures, finding out he is part Neanderthal, and almost throwing down with fellow author Tucker Max.Michael Ian Black may not have the perfect body. Or be the perfect father. Or husband. Or son. But you will laugh as you recognize yourself in his attempts to do better. And, inevitably, falling short. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll call your mom.

    What we behold, we reflect. The more we behold the Lord, the more we look like him--and the more we see his glory released into our lives and the lives of those around us.The glory of God is irresistible. Yet seeking to sense his presence or experience his glory for its own sake misses the point. His glory is the natural outpouring of a deep relationship with the Holy Spirit. In these pages, author and speaker Jennifer Eivaz shows how you can enter into more intimate fellowship with the Spirit of God, experience miraculous encounters, and begin to see more miracles, more deliverances, and more lives dramatically changed. Here is the inspiration you need to step into the supernatural and follow God's leading--and carry his glory to the darkest places and see his kingdom come.

    It's like a nasty virus you catch from a door handle at a public toilet.No team in sports is as uniquely hated as those smug, entitled, floor-slapping, fist-pumping, insufferable Blue Devils. The loathing has almost reached the level of a religion. Christian Laettner is a punk. Amen. The Cameron Crazies are obnoxious. The Plumlees are worthless times three. Coach K is a jerk. Kumbaya.The team is dogged by an intense hatred that no other team can match—and for good reason. Millions of hoops fans and March Madness aficionados around the world are not imagining things. Duke really is evil, and within the pages of Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell show readers exactly why Duke deserves to be so detested. They bruise and batter the Blue Devils with fact after fact, story after story, statistic after statistic. They build an airtight case that could stand up in a court of law.So sit back in your "I Hate Duke" t-shirt, and in true Duke fashion, force someone poorer than you to do your work as you crack open the ultimate guide to Duke suckitude.

     What do we learn from our dogs? Everything. Our dogs make us better people. If we rescued them, they rescue us back. If we’re sad, they comfort us. If we need to have more fun, they show us how. They are our protectors, our role models, and our best friends. You’ll laugh a lot, tear up at times, and nod your head in recognition as you read these tales about the wonderful experience of sharing life with a dog. Life lessons from our dogs come in many forms, from the hilarious to the heroic. You’ll enjoy a wide variety in these 101 entertaining stories.

    . . . "Social Disease" . . . is really about the three major issues of our time: sex, hair, and the telephone" (Paul Rudnick, "New York Magazine").

    Tim explains the fear factor in the game, and what it feels like to get hit by a pitch; Adam LaRoche wanted to throw up in the batter's box. He examines the game's superstitions: Eliot Johnson's choice of bubble gum, a poker chip in Sean Burnett's back pocket. He unearths the unwritten rules of the game, takes readers inside ESPN, and reveals how Tony Gwynn made baseball so much more fun to watch.And, of course, Tim will explain to readers why he is fascinated by sacrifice flies.

    I alone have heard your silent screams, so I have written this book to help you achieve what everyone who has the courage to live the creative life deserves: complete, utter, slavish adoration and worship. Also: incalculable wealth that insulates you from the concerns of ordinary people." And there you have it. Fondling Your Muse is John Warner's innovative and slightly insane book of instruction for those who want to write, and those who think they already can. It's packed with quirky (possibly deranged) advice guaranteed to make you laugh out loud in the most embarrassing fashion possible. You know what we mean. It also includes a special chapter entitled "Everything Stephen King Knows About Writing Successfully: Plus Some Things I Know That He Doesn't Because He Isn't That Special." No other book currently available has this chapter! And Fondling Your Muse provides the kind of wise, insightful guidance that's missing from all of those self-serious, mind-numbingly awful books that promise riches and fame by writing only 20 minutes a day. Let's say you're looking for a tried-and-true recipe for literary success. Warner reveals all of the best ones, including these succulent concoctions: * Contemporary Romance Quiche al la Nicholas Sparks ("Tasty with a side of hackneyed potatoes.") * Tom Clancy Techno-Thriller Surprise ("Preparation is usually subcontracted to others.") * Chick-Lit Cacciatore ("Satisfies many, every single time. I can't explain how either.") * Harlequin Romance Salad ("Thoroughly rip bodices, pound prose until purple, and combine all ingredients in a large mixing bowl.") * John Grisham's Legal Thriller Stew ("Boil in pot until ingredients bubble over line of believability.") * Comtemporary American Literary Fiction Flambé ("Served in smaller and smaller quantities as the years go by.") Mmmm...tasty. Even really famous people endorse Warner's work: "Fondling Your Muse is brilliant in the same way the most distant stars in the galaxy are brilliant. If it's a really clear night and you tilt your head to the side and squint, you sort of see it." -- Dave Eggers It doesn't get any better than that. So go ahead - get Fondling today!

    But don't worry, no dogs die at the end of THIS book! (Unlike some other books about yellow Labs)Aren't you tired of reading books about vampires? Wouldn't a book about a zombie puppy be more interesting? Yeah, I thought so too. I guess I'll have to work on that for the next book. In the meantime, here's a book about a dog named Jack.