The guides try to explain why things are done the way they are,and they try to allay the feelings of trepidation with which the xenophobe approaches new territory. This particular book looks at the Belgians.

    The first word between two lovers in the morning is "G'day." The other main greeting would have to be "G'day mate." The reason why this brief greeting has such universal acceptance is simple: it's the flies. The longer your mouth is open the more flies that can crawl in.'

    Their reserve is not a defense against the rest of the world: it is a protective cover, like the lid of a nuclear reactor. Rob joyCalvinism is still deeply ingrained in the Scottish soul. A Scottish poet, overcome by the joy of sunshine and blue sky, once cried out what a fine day it was. The woman to whom he spoke replied, “We'll pay for it, we'll pay for it.” Cunning and cleverThe Scots respect cleverness and like to feel that they possess plenty of it themselves. In Scotland there is nothing wrong with being clever, so long as you show it by words or actions, rather than by bragging. You don't have to hide it. To say of someone that “he has a good conceit of himself” is neither praise nor blame, just a statement of fact.

    The general implication is that Irish people are a mass of contradictions, and impervious to the rational thought processes that might resolve them.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    If you doubt the veracity of this claim you need only consult the Viking Sagas, the greatest of all literary achievements, where this view is expressed countless times during the course of long meandering tales of murder and revenge.'Xenophobe's Motto—Forewarned is forearmed.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Cut off for most of his life by Cold Wars and Iron Curtains, Europe's eastern lands are now open for business.And it's as much a voyage of discovery as any of Michael's other journeys, as he finds himself in countries he'd barely heard of, many of them new names on the map, many unfamiliar and mysterious, all with tragic histories and much brighter futures.Starting in the snows of the Julian Alps, on the borders of Italy and Slovenia, Michael heads east to discover the half of Europe he never knew.Heading down the ancient trade route of the Adriatic coast he turns north into the Balkans, gingerly picking themselves up after the vicious fighting of the 1990's. Albania takes Michael into a different world of strongly eastern influence which he follows through Bulgaria, Macedonia and into Turkey, where Europe and Asia meet. Turning north to Moldova and Romania, he follows the mighty Danube into Serbia and Hungary, the very heart of Europe, and on to the Ukraine. A final sweep from north to south takes him through the Baltic States into Poland and across the Carpathian mountains into Slovakia, the Czech Republic and what was until recently East Germany.Visiting twenty countries, more than in his Himalaya and Sahara journeys combined, he encounters painful memories and exuberant celebrations. Throwing himself into local life with his usual reckless curiosity, he samples pig fat with a brandy chaser, meets Romanian lumberjacks, drives the 8.58 stopping train from Poznan to Wolsztyn, learns about mine-clearing in Bosnia, treads the catwalk at a Budapest fashion show and watches Turkish gents wrestling in olive oil.It's New Europe, but vintage Palin.

    Frank, irreverent, funny--almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

    Yankee Doodle called his feathered cap "Macaroni."

    Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they’re unique, yet somehow they’re all exactly the same, talking about how they “get” Sarah Silverman’s “subversive” comedy and Wes Anderson’s “droll” films. They’re also down with diversity and up on all the best microbrews, breakfast spots, foreign cinema, and authentic sushi. They’re organic, ironic, and do not own TVs. You know who they are: They’re white people. And they’re here, and you’re gonna have to deal. Fortunately, here’s a book that investigates, explains, and offers advice for finding social success with the Caucasian persuasion. So kick back on your IKEA couch and lose yourself in the ultimate guide to the unbearable whiteness of being.