He's confronted the HOA. He's even taken on Santa himself. He doesn't usually win. These are the tales of the Dumb White Husband and they are all available here in this collected edition.This handsome volume includes:Dumb White Husband vs. the Grocery Store - John would rather sit and watch the game, but his wife needs some things at the store. Can he complete the list and get back in time to see the end of the game?Dumb White Husband vs. Halloween - Every Halloween, Chris has the scariest house on the block and gives out the best candy. But, this year, someone is showing him up and he'll stop at nothing to find out who.Dumb White Husband vs. Santa - Erik has planned the perfect Christmas for his family. The plan is foolproof, bulletproof and flame retardant. Nothing can undo the hours of planning and preparation. Nothing except maybe odd-shaped packages, ill-timed fruitcakes or an errant neighborhood Santa Claus.Dumb White Husband vs. the Tooth Fairy - Erik always has a plan and he's sure he would have figured out the whole Tooth Fairy thing eventually. But, when his three-year-old son takes a frisbee to the mouth, he's forced to speed things up. Between neighborhood kids with big mouths and unhelpful dentists he's going to need to improvise. Will he bend to the pressure of inflation? Will he get caught in the act? And, what do you do with those teeth anyway?Dumb White Husband for President (A novella) - There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand for the things he believes in. John doesn't believe in bagging his grass. So, when a new allergy-prone neighbor gets the HOA to require it, there's only one thing he can do - run for President of The Creeks of Sage Valley Phase II.John, Chris and Erik put aside most of their differences to run a campaign that they hope will see John elected as President and end the meddling of the rule-loving new kid on the block. Will they succeed? It's doubtful.

    Until now, those stories have been unpublished and unavailable for others to read but - due to popular demand - he has compiled them in this collection. Included within this collection: Some Drabbles To Get You Started Under The Safe House (novella) Room To Breathe (novella) The First Cuddle (short story) Santa’s Secret (short story) Smoking Kills (short story) Needles (short story) Cold (short story) Sleeping Dogs (short story) Ugly (short story) About the author: Matt Shaw is the published author, and film director, of over 200 stories including his infamous black cover range of extreme horrors. In those titles he is known for pushing boundaries and has been nominated for multiple awards within the "splatterpunk" genre but do not be fooled - Shaw isn't only capable of writing the extremes. His dark psychological horrors are known for getting under the skin of the readers, causing both sleepless nights and restless dreams... PRAISE FOR THE AUTHOR “There is a ferocity about Matt Shaw's writing that is both welcome and also necessary when it comes to horror.” - Shaun Hutson, author of "Slugs" Categories for "UNDER THE SAFE HOUSE & OTHER STORIES" - Horror - Psychological Fiction - Depression - Grief - Bullying - Suspense horror

    The author has put together promising stories for every alphabet that are guaranteed to scare you out of your wits and question the presence of the supernatural.Pick up the book as the night crawls by for feeling those chills creeping up your skin and your heart beating out of your chest.

    Eliot for his godchildren and friends in the thirties. They have delighted generations of children since, and inspired Andrew Lloyd Webber's brilliant musical Cats.

    Sublime and ridiculous, sentimental and searing, Christmas at The New Yorker is a gift of great writing and drawing by literary legends and laugh-out-loud cartoonists.Here are seasonal stories, poems, memoirs, and more, including such classics as John Cheever’s 1949 story “Christmas Is a Sad Season for the Poor,” about an elevator operator in a Park Avenue apartment building who experiences the fickle power of charity; John Updike’s “The Carol Sing,” in which a group of small-town carolers remember an exceptionally enthusiastic fellow singer (“How he would jubilate, how he would God-rest those merry gentlemen, how he would boom out when the male voices became King Wenceslas”); and Richard Ford’s acerbic and elegiac 1998 story “Crèche,” in which an unmarried Hollywood lawyer spends an unsettling holiday with her sister’s estranged husband and kids.Here, too, are S. J. Perelman’s 1936 “Waiting for Santy,” a playlet in the style of Clifford Odets labor drama (the setting: “The sweatshop of Santa Claus, North Pole”), and Vladimir Nabokov’s heartbreaking 1975 story “Christ-mas,” in which a father grieving for his lost son in a world “ghastly with sadness” sees a tiny miracle on Christmas Eve.And it wouldn’t be Christmas—or The New Yorker—without dozens of covers and cartoons by Addams, Arno, Chast, and others, or the mischievous verse of Roger Angell, Calvin Trillin, and Ogden Nash (“Do you know Mrs. Millard Fillmore Revere?/On her calendar, Christmas comes three hundred and sixty-five times a year”).From Jazz Age to New Age, E. B. White to Garrison Keillor, these works represent eighty years of wonderful keepsakes for Christmas, from The New Yorker to you.From the Hardcover edition.

    The Knight of the Cart is the first telling of the adulterous relationship between Lancelot and Arthur's Queen Guinevere, and in The Knight with the Lion Yvain neglects his bride in his quest for greater glory. Erec and Enide explores a knight's conflict between love and honour, Cligés exalts the possibility of pure love outside marriage, while the haunting The Story of the Grail chronicles the legendary quest. Rich in symbolism, these evocative tales combine closely observed detail with fantastic adventure to create a compelling world that profoundly influenced Malory, and are the basis of the Arthurian legends we know today.Alternate cover for this edition.

    Beeswax. Pollinate. Hive. Colony. Work. Dance. Communicate. Industrious. Buzz. Sting. Cooperate.Where would we be without them? Where would we be without one another?In eighty-two poems and paragraphs, Naomi Shihab Nye alights on the essentials of our time—our loved ones, our dense air, our wars, our memories, our planet—and leaves us feeling curiously sweeter and profoundly soothed.

    Now for the first time in English, all of Borges' dazzling fictions are gathered into a single volume, brilliantly translated by Andrew Hurley. From his 1935 debut with The Universal History of Iniquity, through his immensely influential collections Ficciones and The Aleph, these enigmatic, elaborate, imaginative inventions display Borges' talent for turning fiction on its head by playing with form and genre and toying with language. Together these incomparable works comprise the perfect one-volume compendium for all those who have long loved Borges, and a superb introduction to the master's work for those who have yet to discover this singular genius.

    Love, laughter, and occasional tears - no need to turn on the Hallmark Channel this winter. Snuggle up with this feel-good anthology instead!Warning: reading this anthology may cause cravings for cider sugar donuts, French toast, pimento cheese, cherry cola, and maple syrup ice-cream, as well as happy ever afters

    I do not say this to make you despair, but to teach you…that life is a journey sometimes walked in light and sometimes in shadow.”Grandfather says this: “Keep going.”These thought-provoking lessons, passed down by the author’s own Lakota grandfather, will inspire the hundreds of thousands who already know his work—and will tap into the market that has embraced such books as Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s The Invitation.When a young man’s father dies, he turns to his sagacious grandfather for comfort. Together they sit underneath the family’s cottonwood tree, and the grandfather shares his perspective on life, the perseverance it requires, and the pleasure and pain of the journey. Filled with dialogue, stories, and recollections, each section focuses on a portion of the prose poem “Keep Going” and provides commentary on the text.Readers will draw comfort, knowledge, and strength from the Grandfather’s wise words—just as Marshall himself did.