Gervase Phinn has collected together from his bestselling Dales books his favourite stories about children, and includes some poems from his popular Puffin poetry books.

    1965.  War's found himself deep in the glamorous yet lethal world of international espionage. Unhappy with both the treachery and restrictive dress-code, when a name from the past reappears in his life War realises he must risk everything to keep the world safe once again. This short story follows on from the How To Be Dead series and continues the tale of everybody's favourite grumpy Horseman of the Apocalypse...  What Amazon readers are saying about the How To Be Dead Comedy Fantasy Series: ★★★★★ “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.”★★★★★ “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.”★★★★★ “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.”★★★★★ "Laughs and excitement combined!"★★★★★ “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”★★★★★ "If you like Tom Holt, Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett, Dave Turner's books will fit perfectly into your collection."

    His love for Kylee grows everyday, thanks to nearly losing her after cheating with his ex, Zena. All is forgiven and Kylee and Karlos are married, with a baby on the way. But as fate will have it, someone resurfaces, with high hopes of ruining their marriage. Kimmora and Kevin are also married, with a beautiful baby boy named Keion. Kimmora has opened new chapters in her life such as becoming a wife, mother and registered nurse. Things are looking up for Kevin too, as he's running his thriving barbershop and working hard at being the best husband and father that he can be. All is well with the couple... That is, until skeletons fall out of the closet, putting their marriage in jeopardy. Twins Keira and Kelly are doing good in every area in their lives. Personal, financial, and career wise they have it all figured out. Their men, Kaylin and Kalvin, treat them like the queens that they are. But limits are tested and lines are crossed. Both couples are forced to fight not just each other but other situations that tries to tear them down as well. Come along for the ride as we see if being married to a Savage is all it’s cracked up to be.

    . . It is a period steeped in cinematic lore. Rebel filmmaker George Lucas, striking from a base in Northern California, won a tremendous box office victory against all odds with Star Wars, his sci-fi spectacular.During the ensuing craze, MAD's "Usual Gang of Idiots" managed to steal a few laughs at the movie's expense, soon discovering that Star Wars was the ultimate pop culture punching bag.Pursuing each Star Wars film's release with more mockery, the MAD men spent the next three decades making a farce of the Force and spreading mirth across the galaxy.Now, in this special edition volume, you'll chuckle as the Star Wars saga's greatest moments are mocked by such MAD greats as Dick DeBartolo, Mort Drucker, Don Martin, and Sergio Aragones; smirk as the striking similarities between the space battles created by Industrial Light & Magic and by the "Usual Gang of Idiots" are revealed; hum along to the unforgettable Star Wars musical, as penned by MAD's master lyricist, Frank Jacobs; gasp at the startling insights into R2-D2's love life; and marvel at the real reason why Lucas's lawyers never sued MAD.And that's just the beginning. . . .So, pick up this book and see why, when Star Wars gets the MAD treatment . . . Sith happens! It is your destiny.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Yes, it is really that good." "This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!" Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    Then there was the Little Mermaid. Today, thanks to Jim Toomey, it's Sherman's Lagoon, a satirical, sea-floor look at popular culture as showcased through the lives of a lovable shark and his waterborne cronies. Sherman's the somewhat dim-witted but happy-go-lucky shark who takes us for a wonderful ride beneath the waves. This Jaws-less jokester teams up with a veritable school of bottom-dwelling denizens to deliver one of the funniest creations on land or sea. With an imaginative storyline and creatively rendered characters, Sherman's Lagoon has captured a considerable following.  Sherman—who never allows thinking to interfere with life's simple pleasures, especially eating—is joined by Fillmore, his trusty turtle sidekick; Megan, his significant shark other; Hawthorne, the irascible hermit crab; and a host of other Neptunian neighbors occupying the lagoon of an imaginary South Pacific island called Kapupu.  In Sherman's Lagoon: Ate That, What's Next?, this cast of coral reef critters never fails to amuse. Consider Sherman opening a wrapped holiday gift box only to find a putrid dead fish—and loving it! Or the day he and Fillmore contemplate plunging to the deepest depths of the ocean, in order to recover Fillmore's fumbled Ninja Turtle Decoder Ring. The fun and laughs never end!

    The Get Fuzzy gang is back! Bucky the arrogant cat, Satchel the clueless pooch, and Rob the exasperated human make up one crazy and hilariously entertaining household. Collecting the cartoons from The Birth of Canis and The Fuzzy Bunch, this treasury is a rollicking read full of Bucky's signature bullying of Satchel and Rob's inability to keep the peace.

    In this book I have set out prove that statement is completely untrue and in fact with customers like these then maybe the opposite could be said. So sit back, grab your self a drink perhaps an alcoholic one if you feel that way inclined and enjoy some of the strangest, ridiculous and most outrageous complaints and statements from all walks of life. The second volume is out now and is much longer and in my opinion even better than the first, though i would say that.

    While his courtiers were jealous of Birbal, the emperor was quick to notice his agile mind. While the two men loathed hypocrisy and deceit; they also relished a good joke.

    But why is it taking him so long to find a new owner? Join him on his adventure as he tries to find out. Perfect for bedtime reading and early readers, this delightful story introduces the incredibly cute puppy, Sammy The Sheep Dog. With beautiful illustrations by Gill Dallowe on every page, filled with fun and drama, this story will be a hit with all children who love animals.

    

    After some school bullies trick the naive boy into getting lost in a forbidden, dank, dark cave, he thinks all hope is lost. Luckily, he has run into Alex, an independent and brave, equally plucky classmate who is ready to lend a hand.The new duo explores the dangerous cave, running into spiders, skeletons – even zombies along the way! As Steve slowly builds confidence maneuvering the depths of the cave, it seems like the team might be on their way out...that is, until a chance meeting with Freddy, a member of the gang of bullies, throws a wrench into their plans…Will Steve and Alex be able to make it out of the cave intact, or has Steve's luck begun to run out? Read Forbidden Cave to find out!A heartwarming tale of newfound courage in the face of adversity, The Forbidden Cave will have any fan of Minecraft rooting for the heroes from beginning until the end, a perfect holiday pick for your child.Disclaimer: This book is a work of fanfiction; it is not an official Minecraft book. It is not endorsed, authorized, licensed, sponsored, or supported by Mojang AB, Microsoft Corp. or any other entity owning or controlling rights to the Minecraft name, trademarks or copyrights.

    Beavis and Butt-head give us their view of the world from A to Z in their own version of an encyclopedia--just in time for Christmas. Illustrated.

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.