I aimed to turn this proposition on its head, and instead of commenting on where and what people would ideally like to eat I would consider where and what they actually did: the ready meals, buffet snacks and - most importantly - fast food that millions of Britons chomp upon in the go-round of their often hurried and dyspeptic lives.'In this selection from his hilarious New Statesman Real Meals column, Will Self reviews the chains where most of us go to eat (KFC, Greggs, Yo! Sushi, Pizza Express and their like), delves into the ubiquitous Thai meal and chicken tikka masala, and experiences hotel breakfasts, frozen tv dinners and airline food on our behalf. These are restaurant reviews of the kind you've never read before.

    No really, it is. Let me explain.It turns out that drooling dogs and ringing bells are far more important than a logo (thank you Pavlov).Sure, successful businesses have logos--easily recognizable logos. Playboy, McDonald's, Coke. But there's far more to their success than bunny ears, golden arches or a certain shade of red. Stripped of all the marketing lingo, branding is pretty simple: Your brand is all the associations that come to mind when your potential customers see or hear your name.Whether your focus is on personal branding or on branding your company culture--you've got to have more than a fancy logo and edgy color scheme to create brand stickability (you know, a brand your customers can't get out of their heads).Well, there’s a process to capturing attention and getting your foot in the door of your customers’ minds. Here's a taste of some of the personal branding advice you'll find in this book:You must become the first solution your customer thinks of when they have a problem you can solve. How?The first step is to figure out what your audience cares about. What keeps them up at night? What problems can you help them solve? From there, you need to apply these three steps:1) Frequency2) Repetition3) AnchoringIn this e-book, we’ll show you how to figure out what your customers really want. Then we will show you how to apply these three steps to help you become the trusted resource that comes to mind first when your customer’s itch needs to be scratched.Is real and authentic branding going to happen overnight? Probably not. But ask yourself this: Do you want short-term results that lose effectiveness? Or are you willing to invest a bit more time and effort to create long-term results that get better and better?If you're looking for a branding book that promises a quick fix, this isn't the book for you. But if you want to create a brand that sticks like superglue--read this book!Go ahead and let the wimps and whiners have the get-rich quick schemes that fizzle and fall flat like a wet firework. You want to ignite a branding bonfire.

    In this compilation all focused around the four letter word that has ended more wrestling careers than steroids, pills and alcohol combined: HEAT!HEAT: A dark cloud that follows a wrestler after a personal conflict or misunderstanding between two individuals or more backstage.JTG will take you, the reader, on a journey, from the beginning of his career, to the final curtain call; sharing stories on how he battled Heat from day one. Join JTG on this epic pilgrimage through this blazing inferno that was his career, while managing to piss off more people for writing this book!!!

    They have little in common, other than their love of wealth and adventure, and a bitter hatred for each other. Known simply as the Black Legion, they will blaze a trail of death and destruction that will be remembered for generations. This complete box set contains the full text of every Star Legions novel. That’s right, all seven books! Buy the box set today and read the entire series from start to finish: Battle for Cilicia For Xenophon, the Black Legion is an escape from the state that tried to kill him and his family. Exiled from his homeworld he joins the mercenaries, along with Glaucon, the rich playboy, Roxana, the veteran naval commander, and Tamara, the blue-haired castaway with a hidden past and a violent personality. Nothing will prepare them for the carnage awaiting them as they enter the borders of the Median Empire, the largest and most powerful entity in the known Galaxy, ruled with an iron fist by the tyrant, Emperor Artaxerxes and his legions of slave soldiers. Assault on Khorram Burning with rage from the combat losses at Cilicia, the Black Legion wants payment, and Lord Cyrus has a target that will satisfy even the most greedy of his warriors. It is a target so rich that he wonders if the mercenaries will even have enough ships to carry off the loot. Warlords of Cunaxa Xenophon and his comrades have proven their worth, and now the combined fleets of the Black Legion and their allies are poised to end the conflict. Both sides have mobilised every warrior and ship they can, for what will be a final apocalyptical battle between the Terrans and the Emperor himself. Last Stand With victory against the Emperor now impossible, the Legion finds itself lacking purpose and money. They came to the Empire with promises of glory and reward, but now they are trapped and surrounded on all sides by enemies. The massacre of the Legion’s officer corps leaves it vulnerable, and it falls to warriors like Xenophon to hold back their desire for revenge and to put them on a path home. Sea of Fire They must continue on to the Sea of Fire, the deadly border region between Hayastan and the Carduchian Wilderness, or face utter annihilation at the Emperor’s hands. Ancient stories tell of these dead sectors of space, vast ocean of emptiness, with few worlds or moons able to supply the fleet. The Eternal Fortress The long and bloody expedition has taken its toll on both the soldiers and the ships of the Legion. He is aware that a retreat into the Empire will mean a confrontation with the Emperor. A confrontation which they cannot win. There remains only one alternative. To run the gauntlet of the Eternal Fortress. Vengeance The Black Legion bursts out of the Median Empire laden with riches and leaving a trail of death and destruction in its wake. As the exhausted men and women breathe a sigh of relief upon reaching the Free Colonies of Trebizond, they are stunned to find themselves in the middle of a war.

    It was a normal Christmas Eve until Jeff Tanner's youngest son Davey snapped a turkey wishbone and made a crazy wish. Now Jeff thinks he's gone insane, because he sees strange things that no one else can - bug-eyed babies, walking teddy bears, and tiny freaks galore. What's worse, they don't like him. At all. Now Jeff has to figure out why they're angry, and quick, before his life is ruined by a million, invisible IMAGINARY FRIENDS.

    His years as a Texas rancher and lawman are behind him. His wife and son rest on a lonely hill overlooking the Llano River. Now, he rides through the rugged mountains and sagebrush covered valleys of Northern New Mexico, searching. He’s hoping for a new life, but will settle for a hot meal.

    

    A partner she loves, five amazing kids and a house by the sea. But life is never simple and there is more than a little emotional baggage coming along for the ride.Starting with that tw*t of an ex-husband who doesn't pull his weight. Then there's the untrained puppy, the work/life balance, a custody battle for the children and all the everyday ups and downs and chaos of being a patchwork family.Surrounded by family dramas and mums who seem to have all their sh*t together, Jo must find a way to make friends and make it work in this new town.Barbecues on the beach and dog walks open up new conversations, but as Jo gets to know everyone better, the picture perfect families might be in need of more help than she first thought...When normal is not an option, surprises can lead to a different kind of happy family.

    But when Stella Parker walks into the boardroom, I know I’m a goner. She’s smart, funny, and gorgeous.But can I convince her that mixing business and pleasure isn’t always bad?StellaFashion for the curvy girl: It’s what I do, and it’s what I’ve built my business around. Now I’m looking for the right investment to take it to the next level.Jared isn’t a typical businessman with his tight black t-shirt and arm tattoos. One look and I’m in danger of throwing away everything I’ve worked so hard for.Can I keep my business and keep my heart closed, or will the rock star investor be too much to resist?Stella is book four in the Curvy Girls Can series. Short, sweet and steamy insta-love stories about women with big curves, big attitudes, and big dreams and the alpha men who are man enough to love them.High heat, oh so sweet, and always with a happily ever after. Each book in the series is a standalone. No cliffhangers.

    And there’s only one man who can make her feel safe again. He’s known as Anonymous... A man with no memory of his past, destined to face off against the worst of the worst. A wave of killing terrifies the residents of the Sheriff’s quiet town, and each murder has the same MO. Anonymous is sure it’s all connected, and his mysterious past may hold a vital clue to solving the case. But the stubborn Sheriff is hellbent on keeping him away from the investigation. Is it merely pride that has the Sheriff so twisted? Or does he have secrets of his own to keep... From bestselling author John Greyson, In the Blood of Justice, is part one of the pulse-pounding Anonymous series, featuring a killer for hire with no memory of his past. Follow his adventures as he pieces together the shocking mystery behind his true identity.

    Now with twice the number of stories of stupidity coming to the hospital, emergency room and operating room. DR Payne has been taking care of patients for over 18 years in places from Alaska to the American South and she has seen her share of Stupid. Feel a little less stupid today after you read this book. Sections include: Stupid in Action Stupid in Word Stupid in Thought Stupid Baby Names Notable Tattoos A Final Thought

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    I, Zombie is a comedy horror short story from Nick Spalding (writing as Clive Bonnet) about the thinking dead! It is featured in his fantasy novel "The Cornerstone".

    Jim stumbles across a uniquely diverse and extraordinarily hilarious batch of island inhabitants as he tries to unravel the case. As Jim soon learns, no one on the island is more unique, diverse, or hilarious than his unlikely counterpart; a man simply known as Kram. TOTALLY FUNNY!!! Mink Island moves at a break-neck pace, with true Alaskan scenery, wildlife, and interesting inhabitants at every turn. Float planes, barges, bears, and even flying salmon… I absolutely love it! It’s a classic whodunit but with the most hilarious batch of characters!