Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    

     By Your Side- Jake Miller likes his life. It’s simple and quiet. Solitary. He’s taking the last thing his mother truly cared about before she died, the properties she owned, and making them his purpose. His time in the Army hadn’t allowed him to be there for her before, but this is something he can do now. Just him and his dog. Exactly how he wants it. Until her, his first tenant. With her innate openness and blinding smiles, the opposite of everything he thought he could possibly want. Casey Steadman has less to show for her twenty-nine years than she’d hoped. No white picket fence. No 2.5 kids. And definitely no loving husband. Just a few lukewarm relationships, an exceedingly crappy apartment, and a fabulous shoe collection (and the credit card debt to prove it). Moving into her new place is one big, high heeled step towards a new life. The stable, make-boring-mature-decisions kind of life that she needs to be able to prove to her family that she can live. What she wasn’t planning on was her hotter-than-Hades new landlord. Sparks are a-flying, and they’re the kind that can only come from a stiletto-loving, dog-hating, budget-repelling, relentlessly optimistic, youngest of five becoming the tenant and next door neighbor to a stoically silent, slightly pessimistic, ‘my only friend is my dog’, only child and former Army Ranger. Casey and Jake are total opposites. But when they come together, it just might be true love. Light Me Up- For Rachel Hennessy, it’s been an interesting six months. Boyfriend? Cheated on her. Job? She totally just got fired. Starting her own wedding planning business sounds exciting … in theory. In reality, it’s completely terrifying. And on top of all that, the freaking cherry right on top? She just had an ill-timed, alcohol-instigated one-night stand with her bff Casey’s brother, Tate. Yeah, that Tate. The one that she’s had a teensy, inconvenient crush on for years. But nothing about it is ill-timed or inconvenient for Tate Steadman. Because he finally feels free. Free of the oppressive relationship he’d been in for the past six years. Free to pursue Rachel, because one alcohol-fueled night was not even close to enough for him. He just wished she saw it that way. Because she makes him want more than he ever knew he was capable of. When their one night has unexpected consequences, Rachel has no clue how to trust that he’s not just trying to be ‘the good guy’ who wants to do ‘the right thing’. And even though the chemistry between them practically burns down an entire city block when they’re together, she doesn’t know how to let down the concrete wall she’s built up around herself. The ‘mistake’ of one evening can change the trajectory of two lives, but maybe a mistake is all they really need to push them right into true love. Tell Them Lies- Liz Peters hasn’t exactly gotten the happily-ever-after she’s read about in her Jane Austen books. ‘Always a bridesmaid’ is more fitting to the way life has been passing this good girl by. About to go postal from loneliness, she meets a man who doesn’t seem to fit any of her requirements for a book-worthy hero. Kieran Carter would do just about anything to put a smile on his terminally ill mother’s face. When he meets a woman in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store, Kieran finally has opportunity to do just that. If he needs to lie in order to give his mom a little hope? Not a freakin problem.

    Of endless weekdays, working weekends, making presentations, working with complicated Excel sheets, handling a boss with time-management issues and the general politics of the workplace. Sigh! After eight years of this life, her only personal insight is that she's terribly unambitious and constantly struggling to be an average performer in the competitive corporate world. When a colleague flashes the glint of a golden sabbatical she catapults into it headfirst. After all, one has to find one's calling at some point in one's life. So will the sabbatical miraculously change her life forever? Or will she go rushing back to her pocket money-generating job?

    Smart phones can make us look really dumb! Get this e-book and laugh your #@% off at what happens when you don't double-check before you hit send! Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.

    What’s hard is resisting the one woman I can’t have… the one who’s under my own roof—and under my skin. Every. Single. Day.Rachel Hamelin:Call me once-burned, twice-shy—and not just because I’m a personal chef.The last rich guy I worked for not only broke my heart, he also derailed my dream of owning my own restaurant. I am d-o-n-e done with wealthy men, and I’ve thoroughly learned my lesson about mixing work and personal relationships.So now that I’m cooking for Hap and his housemates at the “billionaire bachelor house” in Eastport Bay, I plan to ignore my sizzling attraction to my boss and keep it professional—no matter what it takes.But when a Christmas Eve blizzard traps the two of us alone together at the mansion, that’s easier said than done.And when Hap presents me with an unexpected—and utterly perfect—gift, my plans to avoid the mistletoe may be no match for Eastport Bay Christmas magic.The Merry Billionaire is a hot small town rom com Christmas romance and part of the Eastport Bay Billionaires series. Like all the novels in the series, It's a standalone and can be read in any order. It includes cameos from all the characters you've met in the series so far

    Demetri Roberts escapes to Bear Creek with his deaf sister, Sandy, in hopes of fleeing their troubled past and starting a safe and peaceful future.Assured that his sister is out of harm’s way, Demetri allows himself to fall for Emily and embark on a promising new romance. With her fitted jeans, her pistol and her sharp wit, Emily proves to be a tough lady who needs no protection.But when Demetri’s past catches up with him, putting his sister’s life back in danger, along with the rest of the community, their budding romance is put to the test.Will love and friendship be enough to save them? Will this fearless bride cure the troubled doctor’s heart?Deputy Tanner Williams wants nothing more than to find someone he can love. He finally summons up the courage to place an ad for a mail order bride, and is captivated by the woman with an irresistible combination of sharp wit and sweet nature.Bethany Duncan is determined to escape the life her controlling father has mapped out for her. The deputy’s mail order bride ad has given her a way out and she makes her way to Bear Creek to be with him.But trouble is brewing as chaos looms over the town, and Bethany’s father tries to stop his daughter’s plans.Are love and determination enough to secure a future of happiness for Bethany and Tanner, or is life determined to knock them down?Pastor Barthelme Munster and Samantha Freda weren’t expecting to find love when they moved to Bear Creek.Pastor Munster had planned to fully give himself to a community that needed him, while Samantha, together with her five sisters, had hoped to find a new place where she could put her difficult past behind her.Yet, they discover in each other a kindred spirit with whom they can share their dark pasts. Suddenly, these two lost souls are not alone… but can they accept their worth in time to give their blossoming love a chance?In the midst of the worst blizzard Bear Creek has ever seen, Peter Gibson and Shirley Freda find themselves stuck in the Jenkins’ ranch, growing ever closer as they work together to protect the ranch from the storm.Peter has already fallen for Shirley and longs for their budding relationship to grow, but Shirley is guarded, her heart frozen by the traumas of her past.Is his love true enough to thaw her heart and help her overcome the wounds that threaten to keep her from happiness?In Bear Creek Brides: Books 5-8, you’ll find four riveting stories of new beginnings and true love. Join Emily, Bethany, Samantha and Shirley as they face the demons of the past and fight for love and happiness.

    

     Lola’s name and celebrity gossip have always gone hand-in-hand—that’s just the price she pays for being young, beautiful, and famous in Hollywood. But when the paparazzi catches her in a steamy embrace with one half of America’s favorite movie star couple, Lola knows things are about to get bad. If Lola wants to keep working in this town, she’s going to need some major image rehab. According to her publicist, what Lola really needs is an All-American boyfriend to salvage her bad-girl reputation. Sam Medina is the perfect choice to play the part—hard-working, decent, and decidedly not famous. He’s also sexy as hell. And he’s interested in being a lot more than a pretend boyfriend. Lola needs someone to save her career, not fight for her heart. But Sam refuses to follow the script…

    

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: Naked, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Holidays on Ice, Santaland Diaries, Barrel Fever. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: Naked, published in 1997, is a collection of essays by American humorist David Sedaris. The book details Sedaris life, from his unusual upbringing in the suburbs of Raleigh, North Carolina, to his booze-and-drug-ridden college years, to his Kerouacian wandering as a young adult. The book became a best-seller and was acclaimed for its wit, dark humor and irreverent tackling of tragic events, including the death of Sedaris mother. Prior to publication, several of the essays were read by the author on the NPR program This American Life. About the early life of the Sedaris family, and David's hopes to one day be rich and famous. It is revealed that the family is actually middle class. A description of Sedaris' obsessive-compulsive and Tourettic tendencies as a child. His behavior quirks include licking light switches and kissing newspapers, and they frequently land him in trouble at school. These tendencies are abandoned when he begins smoking at college. An account of Sedaris' elderly (and slightly senile) grandmother, known as Ya-Ya. After suffering an injury she is forced to live with his family, resulting in tension for all. Eventually, at the urging of Sedaris' mom (who was against Ya-Ya moving in with the family in the first place), she is put into a low-grade nursing home. When she dies, only his father seems to mourn. A description of events regarding a pornographic book that Sedaris finds when he is a child. The book is passed between his siblings, and eventually confiscated by his mother, who in turn reads it. A description of...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=89168

    He has no children, two friends and one dog. His life is perfectly routine until he loses his wife, job, dog, boat and even his freedom all in one spectacularly hard year.He also didn't plan on falling in love with vet tech named Parker Cool.Float Plan is a contemporary novel featuring a chainsaw attack on a gazebo, a basset hound named Dean and a life-saving mozzarella stick. At its quirky, serious heart, the story is about what happens to a young man who steers himself toward love, forgiveness and happiness. Or close enough.Float Plan is also a love letter to Annapolis and Baltimore - and to fathers and mothers, old friends, dogs, boats and second chances.