His selection was vast, and all models were stamped MADE IN HEAVEN.Under the watchful glare of a giant eyeball in the sky, Ralph walks door to door selling dildos. He doesn't know why he sells dildos, but he does know that with each house, and each strange customer, he moves closer to solving the mystery of the eternal dildo curse.A nightmare comedy about destiny, faith, and sex toys, The Traveling Dildo Salesman is another classic from Kevin L. Donihe, the Wonderland Award-winning author of House of Houses and Night of the Assholes.This edition also features Donihe's most lurid and infamous short stories: Milky Agitation, Two-Way Santa, The Helen Mower, Living Room Zombies, and Revenge of the Living Masturbation Rag.

    They’ve been known to burrow themselves into a reader’s imagination and are capable of warping dreams into twisted, unspeakable nightmares.Just a little…Unique – These aren’t your standard horror stories. Don’t think this collection will include tales of haunted mansions, or blood sucking vampires. Expect one-of-a-kind takes on every gothic ghoul and hideous monster you read about in this book.Just a little…Frightening – Prepare yourself for some of the most chilling flash fiction ever penned. The mad genius, Vincent V. Cava, has done it again with the latest entry in his creepy catalogue. Do yourself a favor and leave the lights on when you read it.Just A Little…Terrible

    The stories within this collection range from hilarious to downright disturbing, proving that Jeff Strand is still a master at what he's known for: a delicious blend of the humorous and the horrific. Strand fans will take delight in the seven new stories first printed in Dead Clown Barbecue, including "Pett Semmuteary" "Dummy" "True Hero" "Fangboy and the Troll" "Stop Stabbing Me" "Pregnancy Test" and "Push the Button."DescriptionA man who finds a severed nose on a plate on his dining room table. A bell that can summon Satan (maybe). Casual Fridays at work that get out of control. A cheery outlook on the post-apocalyptic landscape. The final thoughts of a doomed skydiver. A girl punished by having to share a bed with her grandmother’s corpse. Revenge via baking a tarantula into a cake. A shocking look at where those awful computer-generated book covers come from. And the lost tale of Fangboy.These are only a few of the demented stories in DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE, a collection of thirty gleefully macabre tales, seven of which were written just for this collection. There’s even a brand new one about a ventriloquist dummy. Those things creep you out, right? You’ll laugh. You’ll scream. Okay...you probably won’t actually scream, unless you already had issues before you started reading, but you might cringe and get a little spooked.“No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand’s perfect mixture of comedy and terror.” - Cemetery Dance

    The Grimoire Diaboligue. A massive eBook collection of the most brutal of Mr. Lee's short stories and novellas. All available in one place for the first time digitally.Mr. TorsoMiss TorsoThe DritiphilistGrub Girl In The Prison Of Dead WomenThe McCrath Model SS40-C Series SMakakThe BabyMotherThe Wrong GuyEver NatHandsTheSalt-Diviner

    Telling three interconnected stories taking place on the same day, two weeks after events in "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" this novel is a can't miss for fans of THE KING HENRY TAPES. Spending equal time with Tyson Bonnie, Eva Reti, and King Henry Price himself, KING HENRY AND THE THREE LITTLE TRIPS shows the fallout from the Days of Supernatural Exhibit in both the personal cost for our characters and the political cost for supernatural organizations worldwide as fear of the Curator spreads to even the Asylum itself. Read as Tyson Bonnie escorts Vicky Welf to the Coyote Nation compound, find out if Eva Reti can survive the anima experiment inflicted upon her, and follow King Henry as he returns to the Asylum seeking Plutarch's help. The queue for the "Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" roller-coaster begins here! THE KING HENRY TAPES Book 1 - "The Foul Mouth and the Fanged Lady" (released) Book 2 - "The Foul Mouth and the Cat Killing Coyotes" (released) Book 3 - "The Foul Mouth and the Troubled Boomworm" (released) Book 4 - "The Foul Mouth and the Headless Hunny" (released) Book 5 - "The Foul Mouth and the Mancy Martial Artist" (released) Book 5.5 - "King Henry and the Three Little Trips" (released) Book 6 - "The Foul Mouth and the Pit of No Return" (forthcoming)

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    How did he allow the other person to die? How did he help the other person to hang himself to death? He was terribly upset about this. The moment his eyes saw a rope in any form he used to remember everything.........

    Sometimes sad, often humorous and always creative, these tales touch on a wide range of life experiences from romance and family to death and sex. Nana rocked in her old wooden rocking chair. “Timmy, you have always been my favorite,” she said. He looked at her. “Nana, I’m Bobby.” Read your diary, discovered your secret. I thought I loved you, but now I’m not sure. Don’t know what to do, you look so human. Clowning was Daryl’s profession, cooking was his passion. Stella thought he was perfect. She liked to laugh and never learned to cook. Alex bought Sharon a ring for Valentine’s Day, which she sold to buy the gun that stopped him from loving her. In 2009, Sean Hill combined his love of writing and technology by creating @VeryShortStory, a Twitter feed where he interacts with his readers and shares his 140-character stories.

    But nothing prepared him for Milkwood: a fat, ugly bastard who could take a beating like a government mule, but never, ever won. So when Malcolm risks his life to discover Milkwood's secret, he convinces the fighter to stop being a punching bag and to go for broke in the local tournament. Only problem? A beautiful woman called Lash who needs Milkwood for her own purposes, and a fouler creature on her heels known only as Dizzy Colt. But for Malcolm and Milkwood? Hell, it’s just another day of Blood and SawdustPRAISE FOR BLOOD AND SAWDUST!"With wicked, playful prose that blends the best of pulp with the supernatural, Jason Ridler’s Blood and Sawdust creates an unholy, hell-raising hybrid, the kind of tale Christopher Moore and Jim Thompson might swap after a long night of drinking, trying to one-up one another with acerbic absurdity." Joe Clifford, Author of CHOICE CUTS and JUNKIE LOVEPRAISE FOR THE WORK OF JASON RIDLER!"An exciting new writer." Lucius Shepard, multiple-award-winning author of HANDBOOK OF AMERICAN PRAYER. “Jason Ridler is kind of like a bull rider who’s tossed a saddle on a Tiger tank, and he’s riding that bucking sucker for all he’s worth, because, hey, no one told him that he couldn’t do it, did they? So here he is, the Man in the Barbed-Wire Straitjacket." Norman Partridge, Award Winning Author of DARK HARVEST. "Jason Ridler’s work is intense and taut, with incredible characters and plots that keep your mind buzzing long after you’ve reached the final page." Trent Zelazny, author of TOO LATE TO CALL TEXAS, and FRACTAL DESPONDENCY. ABOUT THE AUTHORJason S. Ridler is the author of BLOOD AND SAWDUST, the Spar Battersea thrillers (DEATH MATCH, CON JOB and DICE ROLL), the short story collection KNOCKOUTS, and has published over fifty stories in such magazines and anthologies as Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Brain Harvest, Chilling Tales, and more. His popular non-fiction has appeared in Clarkesworld, Dark Scribe, and the Internet Review of Science Fiction. A former punk rock musician and cemetery groundskeeper, Mr. Ridler holds a Ph.D. in War Studies from the Royal Military College of Canada. Visit him at twitter at http://twitter.com/JayRidler, Facebook ,http://www.facebook.com/Ridlerville, or his writing blog, Ridlerville, atwww.jsridler.com

    R. James is best remembered for his ghost stories which are widely regarded as among the finest in English literature. One of James' most important achievements was to redefine the ghost story for the new century by dispensing with many of the formal gothic trappings of his predecessors, and replacing them with more realistic contemporary settings.According to James, a story must "put the reader into the position of saying to himself: 'If I'm not careful, something of this kind may happen to me!'"

    After watching it, one of them vanishes...A heart transplant recipient gets much more than he bargained for when he digs into his donor's sinister past...Mourning the death of their son, a young couple is plunged into madness after encountering something otherworldly in the wilderness...DREAMS IN BLACK STATIC is a collection of eight terrifying stories by Ambrose Ibsen, author of The Haunting of Beacon Hill and Asylum. The tales included are:"Me and Mr. Ray" **"Decatur Road" **"Dreams in Black Static" **"Distortional Addict" **"Trim" **"Subterrane Dream" **"Orchard""The Uncanny" **** = Appearing in print for the first time

    The Spot and Smudge series explores the love of a unique family, the loyalty of their very special dogs, and the perils of underestimating them. These smart, imaginative stories weave together elements of horror, thriller, mystery, espionage, crime, medical drama, and genetic engineering. Note: This series contains some colorful language and mature themes. "Shove over brother, let me show you the proper bloody way to strangle someone." The Hogans weren’t looking to start a war. They just wanted to leave their troubles behind, move closer to grandma, and let their kids adopt some damn puppies. But their quaint new town is harboring some gruesome secrets… …and their strange new pups are not what they appear to be. There’s a dark connection between these mysterious orphaned canines and the town’s twisted criminals…and that connection is dragging the Hogans into a ruthless fight they aren’t prepared to win. But the grit of a devoted family, like the loyalty of a faithful pair of dogs, shouldn't be underestimated… …Especially when those cunning dogs are the most significant leap forward in the forty million years of canine evolution.

    For Claire Anderson, this crosses the line. To make matters worse, they’re on the lam and can’t be returned to sender until In Between, the afterlife way station, can arrange transportation to pick them up. In the meantime, Claire tries to contain this motley crew, hoping to stave off an international incident. How do they manage to walk among us? Will Claire succeed in repatriating them? And at what cost? The Afterlife Coach is a humorous tale of second chances, self-awareness and, for those among us who make bad choices, demonstrates just how hard it is to die happily ever after.

    People are turning into clowns. Society isn’t interested in finding a cure or treating the infected as humans. But when unconventional couriers begin to harass the contaminated, and clowns start disappearing, a band of transformed coworkers set out to find answers.

    It's nothing like the suburb you might live in . . . Unless, that is, an insane, Listerine-guzzling Realtor sold you your house? Or perhaps your postman happens to have a disturbing relationship with his claw hammer? A grieving Dan LaBarbara knows something is different in Helltown as soon as he comes back home. Yeah, sure, the town always been a little off. You can feel that about the place, like if you stepped into a house whose only occupants were freshly murdered corpses in an upstairs bedroom. But this is something else entirely. Standing in his little brother Barbie's basement workshop, holding one of those dioramas Barbie's been building since the accident, the ones that seem to move when you hold them, Dan can feel Barbie's terror. Barbie must know something is coming, something big, something evil. He's trying to warn Dan in the only way he knows. Why else would Barbie build a diorama depicting a man-sized version of a cartoon rabbit with bloody teeth about to devour a trembling teenager? Why else would he spend so much time crafting an intricate model of Death standing over a pimply teenager in the school library? And let's not even talk about that little model of the mob of undead surrounding the massive tower of vicious black spines behind the high school. Hilltown has a story to tell, and the lonely brain-damaged man who builds magical dioramas in his basement workshop has been telling it all along. As the evil closes in around them, Dan and his new love interest Jessica must do the impossible: save everyone one in Hilltown before it's too late.