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The Utterly Ultimate My Word by Frank Muir
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A Million Little Lies
James Pinocchio - 2006
While there, Mr. Pinocchio meets all sorts of Fascinating Characters, one more Unbelievable and Amazing than the next, and they challenge him to confront his Deepest, Darkest Fears. The experience leads Mr. Pinocchio to the very edges of despair, but at a critical juncture he finds hope in the arms of a Bad Woman.The love affair ends tragically, alas, and, like many parts of Mr. Pinocchio's story, stretches credibility to the breaking point, but the harrowing adventure -- which involves a great deal of pain, a smattering of dirty sex, and endless amounts of girlish crying -- eventually leads to Redemption and Healing. But not for Mr. Pinocchio
Office Wars: The Mailroom Clerk
James G. Patton - 2017
He sleeps in a real bed and eats real food and only jumps into Neuroma to work. All he wanted was to log in, work and log out and live in general obscurity. Getting the attention of a CEO, meeting a stranger in real life, and forced to play in a secret game of corporations were not penciled into his calendar. While that was bad, he started to question whether Odditek was still in control, or had their complacency created the noose tightening around their neck. Bran was not yet aware of the choice before him. He could no longer stand back and watch, and he had to pick a side and fight before he lost the ability to choose. Would he recognize the inevitable in time? Was it possible to make a ‘correct’ choice, or had the lines blurred so much that hero and villain were indistinguishable? This novel is part of an Odditek series and is a LitRPG novel. I realize it’s the first Odditek series, but more are coming. This series started as a companion series to a book called Lantern Online. I wanted a way to build up the world as it now exists, and to explain what Odditek is. Neuroma and Nerves are mentioned in Lantern Online, and I felt all that information was taking away from my story and is mostly not relevant, but good to know information. I took a lot of it out and added it to this series. Anyway, out of that came Office Wars. I hope it's different than most LitRPG you will read, and brings another dimension to the genre. Explicit language! I will not lie, there is a satirical nature to this story, and a lot of the language and scenarios are morally questionable on purpose. In this story and I use a lot of curse words and controversial commentary. Just look on Facebook or any half a dozen social media sites, and you will see similar language, conversations, and other nonsense. If we all moved into a digital world, this is how I view that world.
Scratch
Troon Mcallister - 2003
When Eddie's former caddie, "Fat Albert" Auberlain (a cross between Tiger Woods and John Daly), loses his PGA Tour card, his endorsements, and his composure after posting a twelve on a par three at the Fruit-of-the-Loom Waste Management Open, Eddie finds the sad sack on his doorstep. Fat Albert, in debt up to his eyeballs and with several needy relatives to feed, had barely been eking out a living on Tour as it was, and the pressure was threatening to make him implode altogether. Eddie takes pity on his protege but isn't quite sure what he can do, when along comes nuclear physicist Norman Standish with the most revolutionary advance in golf equipment since the double niblick-a golf ball they call Scratch. If Standish's claims are true, Eddie could make the killing of his strange and wonderful life and just possibly change the game forever. With McAllister's patented golf hustling hijinks, roller-coaster plotting, and laugh-out-loud skewering of pro sports hypocrisy, Eddie's die-hard fans and golf fiction aficionados will laugh all the way to the putting green. As Eddie himself puts it in The Foursome, "Why do you think they call the devil "Scratch"?"
Westward Sight / Westward Horizons
Linda Bridey - 2015
Book 22 – Westward Sight. When Frankie Scorrano and D.J. Samuels meet, romance blossoms, but when a terrible illness strikes, leaving behind complications, will their love survive or will it succumb to bitterness and despair? Book 23 – Westward Horizons. Grieving Chief Black Fox meets Beth Langley, who runs an orphanage in Wolf Point, and they fall in love. Can they reach the horizon that promises happiness, or will their path be forever darkened by anger and pride?
The Village Idiots: Part1 - Inheritance
Sara Alexi - 2017
Older, slightly more wayward and most definitely not wiser, Takis has spent his years taking Spiros under his wing, whilst taking advantage of his younger friends naivety.When the duo, who often scrape by in life to make a living, discover they are heirs to an estate, they mistakenly believe that their ship has come in!As they discover their inheritance is not all as it seems, Takis begins to plot their way out, dragging poor Spiros with him. As one escapade spirals in to another, Takis is easily lured by the money signs while Spiros finds his eyes are being opened to a wider world. Amidst the ouzo and the scheming, this charming and comical tale will leave you eagerly awaiting the next instalment!
George Orwell's 1984: A Guide to Understanding the Classics
Ralph A. Ranald - 1920
The Ugly Side of Me
Nikita Lynnette Nichols - 2015
It was lust at first sight, and Rhapsody isn't going to let young Malcolm leave her presence without a promise to fulfill her fantasy.Malcolm had no idea when he accepted Rhapsody's invitation to her bedroom that he was selling his soul to the devil. Malcolm thinks he can bed Rhapsody and simply walk away, but she is not one to settle for a one night stand. Rhapsody goes to desperate measures to keep her cub extremely close to her. Gifting Malcolm a very expensive SUV, filling his belly with home cooked meals and funding a trip to Cancun are just a few of the tactics that Rhapsody uses to ensure that Malcolm spends his nights in her bed and no one else's. However, when Rhapsody finds a mysterious package on her doorstep containing proof of Malcolm's betrayal and deception, she seeks revenge and seals her own fate.
The Big Happy
Scott Mebus - 2007
In fact, he has made it a personal quest to dispel all unhappiness from his life. But it's harder than it sounds: he's approaching thirty, a downmarket DJ by day (and a struggling writer by night), living in a cramped Manhattan apartment. His friends are always there for him -- or are they Annie, his closest friend, is getting married to a man David dubs "Rat Boy"; Dustin and Cameron, David's cohorts in the city, are doing the unthinkable and settling down; and Zach, David's model of cool, as aloof and evasive as a wisp of smoke, is harboring a secret that could capsize the whole crew. On top of everything, David finds himself falling in love with Jane, a younger woman whose wit and charm are matched only by her instability.The Big Happy asks the big questions: Can love and happiness coexist? Are we doomed to live out the mistakes of our youth? Do friendships ripen, or rot, as we age? For David, the prospect of happiness has never been quite so depressing.
Rinpoche's Remarkable Ten-Week Weight Loss Clinic
Roland Merullo - 2016
This time, though, instead of cruising the American road together, Otto Ringling and Volya Rinpoche are part of the famous meditation master's offbeat weight loss clinic, held over the course of ten Saturdays in a New York City yoga studio. "These characters have been alive in my imagination for a decade now," Merullo says, "and I just had the sense that Rinpoche, out of his deep compassion, would try to do something about America's obesity epidemic. I've also been fascinated for a long time by the way addiction works—whether it's addiction to food, drugs, alcohol, sex, work, or anything else—the way it occupies the mind and moves us to do things we know we would be better off not doing. I've always wondered what advice Rinpoche would give on the subject."Known—across twenty books, scores of essays, and twenty-five years of publishing—for being willing to try his hand at an unusually wide variety of themes, subjects, and genres, here Merullo works for the first time in the novella form, putting together a deft, moving, and tightly compressed tale that includes his trademark mix of spiritual inquiry and ordinary human emotions. "This story is about the challenge of losing weight, yes," the author says, "but there's a twist to it at the end, and that opens into a wider territory. I tried to approach it with a full appreciation for the difficulty of breaking old habits, and I gave up a beloved food myself for ten weeks, just to keep things honest."While it does not promise to help readers with their troublesome eating habits or other addictions, Rinpoche's Remarkable Ten-Week Weight Loss Clinic does look at those painful issues from a fresh angle, one full of sympathy and wisdom. It will certainly please lovers of the Buddha Trilogy, and perhaps bring new fans to the hundreds of thousands who've already enjoyed the travels and conversations of Otto and his enlightened teacher.
The Festival of Earthly Delights
Matt Dojny - 2012
It's the one day of the year when everyone has a shot at finding true love—even a rapacious, over-sexed turtle god. It's a celebration of hobos and heartbreak, Lionel Richie impersonators and banana-brandy-flavored rice wine. It's The Festival of Earthly Delights.Boyd Darrow is a young American living in Puchai, a tiny Southeast Asian country that tourist brochures refer to as "The Kingdom of Winks." In a series of letters written to a mysterious recipient, Boyd tells of the delights, humiliations and brain-bending misadventures he experiences while adjusting to life in the small college town of Mai Mor. He and his somewhat less-than-faithful girlfriend, Ulla, were hoping to start their lives over in Puchai, but Puchai has an agenda all its own.Ulla's been hired to organize the talent show at the town's annual "Festival of Taang," but she seems more interested in the possibilities of cultural exchange with a local revolutionary. Meanwhile, Boyd grapples with a culture in which baby owls are considered a delicacy, turtles are worshipped as deities, and a wink can have one of 379 possible meanings (including "You're fired," "There's something in my eye," and "I want to kiss your lips!"). He's also falling for his boss's daughter, a half-Puchanese girl with a black eye and a troubling past. Lines are crossed, secrets are revealed, and, as Boyd's life inevitably spins out of control, the Festival draws closer with each day...Hilarious and wise and fiercely original, The Festival of Earthly Delights is a no-holds-barred celebration of love, cultural differences, and one man's reluctant embrace of the sensual pleasures of this world, in all their awkward, enigmatic glory.ADVANCE PRAISE"If Puchai were a real country, I'd be a citizen by now, or at least an illegal alien. What a glorious novel!" —Gary Shteyngart, author of Super Sad True Love Story"Matt Dojny's novel is a true delight. I can't think of any writer since Kingsley Amis who's been able to write high-minded comedy that packs such a punch. I've never enjoyed a comic novel more." —John Wray, author of Lowboy"Matt Dojny's narrator Boyd Darrow is as poetically drawn as J.D. Salinger's Holden Caulfield, and as intimately hilarious as C.D. Payne's Nick Twisp. Dojny has created an entire country filled with characters that are so fresh and endearing, you'll find yourself wishing Puchai were a real place. I love this book." —Kristen Schaal (Flight of the Conchords, The Daily Show)"Comic novels can be whimsical, or clever, or delightful, or witty, or canny, or powerful. Rarely are they all of those things. Matt Dojny's large-hearted, bright-minded novel has drawings and letters and love and loss, and now you do, too." —Ben Greenman, author of What He's Poised to Do and Superbad