This is it. This is really the end. I was now a matter of seconds away from the moment all the numbers stopped for ever. My career total of National Hunt winners would remain at 4,348 after this, my 17,546th ride. All the stats, the numbers that had governed my life for the last two decades, they were just a few hundred yards from being stilled for ever. My whole career, my whole adult life, had been built on making those numbers click upwards as fast as I could, but in a couple of furlongs they would never move again.Deciding to retire was the most difficult decision I've ever had to make. Fortunately I was able to go out at the very top, and being able to say that makes me a very, very lucky man indeed. And now, in this book, I've been able to look back over my entire career - both good and bad moments - and see it in its entirety: the biggest wins, the disappointments, the injuries and the tragedies, my wonderful family, and the amazing horses and the fantastic personalities I've worked with.18,000 people turned up to that final race at Sandown, and I can now look back on my career with immense pride and gratitude. But that chapter of my life is closed. This book is the final word on my riding career - it's time to move forward.

     "Simon’s star-studded debut memoir populated with humorous details and matter-of-fact commentary is incredibly readable, with plenty of quote-worthy anecdotes. Over the span of his lengthy career as a music producer, the author worked with some legendary artists, including Janis Joplin, Simon and Garfunkel, Leonard Cohen, and The Band. In this remembrance, he details his lifelong engagement with music, which follows the trajectory of American popular music as a whole, from jazz to Broadway musicals to rock ’n’ roll. An intriguing memoir about an unusual career involving some celebrated musical figures." - - Kirkus Reviews Celebrated music producer John Simon has produced some of the greatest rock ‘n’ roll ever recorded including THE BAND’s "Music from Big Pink", "The Band", and "The Last Waltz", JANIS JOPLIN’s Cheap Thrills, SIMON AND GARFUNKEL’s Bookends, and the first albums by LEONARD COHEN and BLOOD, SWEAT and TEARS. His contributions to popular music have helped tell the story of a generation in the 1960s and 70s, and now he is sharing his own. "WHEN JOHN SIMON JOINED THE BAND’S BROTHERHOOD HE FIT LIKE A GLOVE. I CAN’T IMAGINE ANOTHER RECORD PRODUCER IN THE WHOLE WORLD WHO COULD’VE MATCHED JOHN’S WORK ON: MUSIC FROM BIG PINK AND THE BAND, ALBUMS." - - Robbie Robertson “Reflecting on the amazing life he’s led, I found myself thinking he ought to write a book. Then I realized that he did. Now he tells never-before-told tales of those rich, often rollicking years in his colorful new book.” --- Steve Israel * * * * * * * Given his truly unique perspective on music and the music business, Simon has been been courted by interviewers for years. With so many anecdotes to choose from, Simon found himself only skimming the surface of his experiences. Now, in writing TRUTH, LIES & HEARSAY, he has drawn on a lifetime of numerous first-hand accounts revealed in this memoir for first time, including: • Getting down the sounds for MUSIC FROM BIG PINK and THE BAND’s 2nd album • How everything was changed by a hit record of a PAUL SIMON song that Paul didn’t even like • Experiencing the volatile personal dynamics during the recording of CHEAP THRILLS by BIG BROTHER AND THE HOLDING COMPANY featuring their new vocalist, JANIS JOPLIN • Living and playing in Woodstock when it was just a small-town safe haven for musicians. • Behind-the-scenes at THE BAND’s “farewell concert appearance” • Writing two ballet scores for legendary choreographer TWYLA THARP • Touring with American blues master, TAJ MAHAL • Recording secrets revealed and much, much more! With an unerring ear for music and eye for a good story, John Simon has amassed a collection of remarkable stories to delight any music fan! Read about Leonard Cohen, Levon Helm, Janis Joplin, Robbie Robertson, The Band, Mama Cass, Blood, Sweat & Tears, Gordon Lightfoot, Leon Russell, Eric Clapton, Wilson Pickett, Peter Yarrow, Gil Evans, Elizabeth Taylor, Joni Mitchell, Les Paul, Bob Dylan, Muddy Waters, Steve Forbert, Marshall McLuhan and The Beatles – -- All of these people and more turn up in the pages of TRUTH, LIES and HEARSAY: A Memoir of a Musical Life In and Out of Rock and Roll. You will really like this book.

    Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.

    But within a year she’d developed an intestinal illness so rare she wound up in a medical journal. Janet navigated misdiagnosis, multiple surgeries, and life with a permanent colostomy. Like many female patients her concerns were glossed over by doctors. She was young and insecure, major liabilities in her life as a patient. How would she advocate for low-income people when she couldn’t even advocate for herself? Janet’s model for assertiveness was her friend Beth. She was the kind of friend who’d accompany you to the doctor when you got dysentery in Ecuador, nonchalantly translating the graphic details of your symptoms into Spanish. Throughout Janet’s illness Beth took care of her; then she developed brain cancer and their roles reversed. Eventually Janet recovered, but Beth’s condition worsened. At the age of 38, Beth died. To cope, Janet competed in endurance events, becoming a triathlete with a colostomy pouch. With themes that echo Susannah Cahalan’s 'Brain on Fire' and Gail Caldwell’s 'Let’s Take the Long Way Home', GUTS is a story of resilience for the millions of Americans who manage to thrive while living with a chronic condition, as well as the many who’ve lost a loved one at a young age.

    He also talked a fair amount about mayonnaise. The interview was conducted by Mara Altman, the author of four bestselling Kindle Singles including “Baby Steps” and “Bearded Lady.” Altman has worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice, and has also written for New York Magazine and The New York Times. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, “Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm,” which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. Cover design by Adil Dara Kim.

    For 15 years, he has steadily and skillfully guided the school into the high society of major college sports. But now Pete, fed up with politically correct campus culture and babysitting fragile egos, is retiring from the "arms race." As he waits for the university's board of trustees to act on his early retirement package, he reflects on his career, the people he's come across, and what life will be like in retirement. Pete's story is told in Jenkins's unmistakable, raucous, old-school style, and it's full of colorful, absurd, and downright crazy characters--from clueless trustees and busybody protestors to prima donna football coaches and booster club pests. Stick a Fork in Me is a rollicking, no-holds-barred tour of the world of big-time college sports. Praise for the work of Dan Jenkins: ..".the best sportswriter in America." --Larry King "Dan Jenkins is the nearest thing to Ring Lardner this generation has ever seen. No one has captured the essential lunacy of the twentieth-century sports (and TV) scene as accurately and hilariously as this." --Los Angeles Times "Dan Jenkins is a comic genius." --Don Imus "Dan Jenkins has been among America's best and funniest sportswriters for more than six decades." --The New York Times "Jenkins is hilarious, providing more laughs per page than any other writer in the 'bidness.'" --People

    Big ol' softie Aaron Cometbus is back to tell us a tale about a group of crusty, grumpy and loveable New York City booksellers.

    With little money and even even less nautical experience they leave their small-town home in Arkansas to embark on an adventure they hope will last for a year or two but which evolves into a quarter-century voyage of discovery spanning half the world. Come along with Randy and Cheryl as they cruise their small boat to intriguing destinations that you won’t find in any tourist brochure. Along the way they discover the best and worst the sailing life has to offer as they visit twenty-nine countries in the Caribbean, Central and South America and the South Pacific. Their adventures and misadventures include encounters with hurricanes, thieves, drug smugglers and a disastrous tsunami as well as lasting new friendships formed with local people and fellow sailors all along their route. Cruising under sail is a lifestyle like no other and though there are sometimes hardships, those who take the plunge will be rewarded with a life of adventure and freedom that may be impossible to find any other way in the modern world.

    • Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER. • Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it!

    The author relates his own life experiences to offer a view of contemporary Native American life.

    She clears your path of all those merciless judgments pronounced by the Quilting Queens. She invites you to make quilts that are full of life. This funny book offers these nine principles for the 20 million quilters in America:           1. Pretty fabric is not acceptable. Go right back to the quilt shop and exchange it for something you feel sorry for.           2. Realize that patterns and templates are only someone's opinion and should be loosely translated. Personally, I've never thought much of a person who could only make a triangle with three sides.           3. When choosing a color plan for your quilt, keep in mind that the colors will fade after a hundred years or so. This being the case, you will need to start with really bright colors.           4. You should plan on cutting off about half your triangle or star points. Any more than that is showing off.           5. If you are doing applique, remember that bigger is dorkier. Flowers should be huge. Animals should possess really big eyes.           6. Throw away your seam ripper and repeat after me: "Oops. Oh, no one will notice."           7. Plan on running out of border fabric when you are three-quarters of the way finished. Complete the remaining border with something else you have a lot of, preferably in an unrelated color family.           8. You should be able to quilt equally well in all directions. I had to really work on this one. It was difficult to make my forward stitching look as bad as my backward stitching, but closing my eyes helped.           9. When you have put your last stitch in the binding, you are still only half finished. Your quilt must now undergo a thorough conditioning. Give it to someone you love dearly—to drag around the house, wrap up in, spill something on, and wash and dry until it is properly lumpy.           "No reason not to have quiltmaking be a pleasure", says Lisa Boyer, who has as firm a grip on her sense of humor as she does on her quilting needles. "If we didn't make Dorky Homemade quilts, all the quilts in the world would end up in the Beautiful Quilt Museum, untouched and intact. Quilts would just be something to look at. We would forget that quilts are lovable, touchable, shreddable, squeezable, chewable, and huggable -- made to wrap up in when the world seems to be falling down around us."

    The joys and travails of building a home in Baja California.

    They did not talk about their mom's extended absences or why their dad put Scotch tape on the backdoor frame. To cover up the chaos, they kept their clothes neat and got good grades. But when they were teenagers, an arson fire destroyed their home and killed their parents. Rumors were thick that summer that smart, angry, fourteen-year-old Lisa set the blaze. Then, adult powers they did not understand squelched the investigation. As teenagers accustomed to keeping silent, they packed up and moved on.Forty years later, Leigh, the oldest, decided it was time to find out who killed their parents. She obtained copies of the police and fire investigations and began unwrapping the past. This memoir is the story of that investigation as Leigh tried to piece together the truth, but found more lies instead. With the help of her sisters, Leigh was able to reconstruct much of what happened to them in the beach towns around Atlantic City in the early 1970s. After the fire, one sister turned to heroin and another to alcohol; Leigh became Miss Atlantic City. Then, one by one, they each moved to California and shut the door on their past, even though they privately wondered whether one of them killed Frank and Nancy Overton. It's funny. They never wondered whether one of their parents was trying to kill them.

    After a tragic accident took the lives of his wife and youngest son, as well as destroying his body to the brink of death, Olsen experienced a miracle. His out-of-body, near-death, and after-death communication experiences have guided him to a life of purpose and gratitude.