Breaking everything down into simple and achievable steps, he makes this daunting process easy. Learn how to:- Find your perfect pad- Choose which mortgage is right for you- Negotiate with estate agents and sellers- Organise exchange and completion Including indispensable advice, money-saving tips and an essential trouble-shooting section, this guide covers everything a first-time buyer needs to know. And when it's time to move on again, this book will show you how to sell your home too.Phil Spencer is one the best-known faces on British television, co-presenting the hit Channel 4 series Location, Location, Location and Relocation, Relocation. Phil has written regularly columns in The Sunday Times and Country Life, and is contracted to Archant publishing to write columns that are syndicated in the group's numerous local glossy magazines which are distributed nationwide. Recent TV appearances include on The One Show, Children in Need and The Friday Night Project, and Phil also regularly appears on the radio to discuss property issues.

    In other words, perfect." - The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form

    You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete—only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents… And all you can think is…WTF?Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations.Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.

    It now appears in 250 newspapers, including the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Examiner, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, Detroit Free Press, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Seattle Times. Readers can't get enough of the goofy trio that populate this hilarious strip: Rob Wilco, the single, mild-mannered advertising executive, and his two rambunctious pets, Bucky, the sharp-fanged, self-absorbed cat, and Satchel, the easygoing mixed-breed dog who ends up on the receiving end of Bucky's mischief. The combination creates Get Fuzzy's astutely witty take on relationships between the species.Now, in a size and format that's perfect for die-hard fans and those looking for the perfect gift, I Would Have Bought You a Cat, But . . . will become the must-have little treasure for everyone who craves a bit more of the trademark Get Fuzzy foolishness, or just enjoys a good chuckle.

    Using real-world examples and simple language, it lucidly illustrates what derivatives are and why they are so powerful. This second edition of "All About Derivatives" provides a rock-solid foundation on: The most common contracts available to you in today's marketKey concepts such as cost of carry, settlement, valuation, and payoffProven methods for establishing fair valueHow leverage can work for you--and against youThe various derivative contracts traded today, including forwards, futures, swaps, and optionsPricing methods and mathematics for determining fair valueHedging strategies for managing and reducing different types of riskINCLUDES A BRAND-NEW CHAPTER ON THE ROLEDERIVATIVES PLAYED IN THE 2008 FINANCIAL MELTDOWN

    Acclaimed illustrator Keri Smith encourages journalers to engage in "destructive" acts-poking holes through pages, adding photos and defacing them, painting with coffee, and more-in order to experience the true creative process. Readers discover a new way of art and journal making-and new ways to escape the fear of the blank page and fully engage in the creative process.

    ‘That Bear Ate My Pants!’, ‘Don’t Need The Whole Dog!’ and ‘Kamikaze Kangaroos!’ follow on from one another to form a hilarious and heart-warming adventure that spans the globe.Over a thousand pages in total, with more than 1,900 5-star reviews across Amazon, these three tales are guaranteed to keep you chuckling into the early hours. *** Save 1/3 off the individual cover prices with this special box-set edition for a limited time only! *** 'That Bear Ate My Pants!' The incredible TRUE story of one man's struggle to survive in an Ecuadorian animal refuge.There comes a time in every man’s life when he says to himself, "Holy crap! I’m about to be eaten by a bear!"Tony James Slater went to Ecuador, determined to become a man.It never occurred to him that 'or die trying' might be an option...The trouble with volunteering in a South American animal refuge is that everything wants a piece of you. And the trouble with being Tony, is that most of them got one.Just how do you 'look after' something that’s trying it’s damnedest to kill you and eat you?And how do you find love when you a) don’t speak the language, and b) are constantly covered in excrement and entrails?If only he’d had some relevant experience. Other than owning a pet rabbit when he was nine. And if only he’d bought some travel insurance... 'Don’t Need The Whole Dog!’ The bizarre-but-true story of one man's epic mission to escape the daily grind, and find his destiny in paradise. In the summer of 2004, Tony James Slater went to Ecuador, looking to become a man.Not all of him returned. But the bit that did was fuelled by a burning desire to do... something.Something that mattered.And, ideally, to get the hell out of England in the process.His dream was to blatantly steal his friend Toby's dream –of escaping to Thailand and becoming a professional diver.But when a man like this goes on a search for adventure, it's bound to end in tears.After all, this isn't just any old idiot.This is Tony James Slater – the man who was carrying that jaguar when it woke up.And to make things worse – he's not alone…So batten down the hatches! Lock up your power tools! Andfor gawd's sake turn the electricity off.Because that idiot from Ecuador is back.And this time, he's brought the whole family… ‘Kamikaze Kangaroos!’ Tony James Slater knew nothing about Australia.Except for the fact that he’d just arrived there.The stage is set for an outrageous adventure: three people, one van, on an epic, 20,000 mile road trip around Australia.What could possibly go wrong?Of course, the van – nicknamed ‘Rusty’ – is a crumbling wreck, held together by the world’s most garish paint job.

    human cohabitation conundrums. Sorry I Pooped in Your Shoe is the perfect gift for dog lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into dog--and human--nature.

    In Them, journalist Jon Ronson has joined the extremists to track down the fabled secret room.As a journalist and a Jew, Ronson was often considered one of "Them" but he had no idea if their meetings actually took place. Was he just not invited? Them takes us across three continents and into the secret room. Along the way he meets Omar Bakri Mohammed, considered one of the most dangerous men in Great Britain, PR-savvy Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard Thom Robb, and the survivors of Ruby Ridge. He is chased by men in dark glasses and unmasked as a Jew in the middle of a Jihad training camp. In the forests of northern California he even witnesses CEOs and leading politicians -- like Dick Cheney and George Bush -- undertake a bizarre owl ritual.Ronson's investigations, by turns creepy and comical, reveal some alarming things about the looking-glass world of "us" and "them." Them is a deep and fascinating look at the lives and minds of extremists. Are the extremists onto something? Or is Jon Ronson becoming one of them?

    It contains tutorials on: Weird Science and Sideshow Physics; Bracing Outdoor Activities; the Human Body; Gags, Cons and Practical Jokes; and more.

    This is the hilarious and touching real-life diary she kept during that fateful year - with characters like her evil friend Bethany, Bethany's besotted boyfriend, and the boys from the grammar school up the road (who have code names like Haddock and Battered Sausage).My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary evokes a vanished time when Charles and Di are still together, the Berlin wall is up, Kylie is expected to disappear from the charts at any moment and it's £1 for a Snakebite and Black in the Vaults pub. My Fat, Mad Teenage Diary will appeal to anyone who's lived through the 1980s. But it will also strike a chord with anyone who's ever been a confused, lonely teenager who clashes with their mother, takes themselves VERY seriously and has no idea how hilarious they are.

    Wild, shocking, and drop-dead funny, Too Fat to Fish is Lange's reflection on his rise to stardom.

    Because once you hand over your life to the dice, anything can happen. Entertaining, humorous, scary, shocking, subversive, The Dice Man is one of the cult bestsellers of our time.

    Oops. The phenomenally successful damnyouautocorrect.com began when author Jillian Madison innocently tried to invite some friends over for gelato. Autocorrect, however, had another idea, and asked them over for a night of 'fellatio' instead. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Damn You, Autocorrect! includes 200 never before seen submissions to the website, as well as an introduction from the author and website creator, Jillian Madison.

    Brainiac traces his rise from anonymous computer programmer to nerd folk icon. But along the way, it also explores his newly conquered kingdom: the world of trivia itself.Jennings had always been minutiae-mad, poring over almanacs and TV Guide listings at an age when most kids are still watching Elmo and putting beans up their nose. But trivia, he has found, is centuries older than his childhood obsession with it. Whisking us from the coffeehouses of seventeenth-century London to the Internet age, Jennings chronicles the ups and downs of the trivia fad: the quiz book explosion of the Jazz Age; the rise, fall, and rise again of TV quiz shows; the nostalgic campus trivia of the 1960s; and the 1980s, when Trivial Pursuit® again made it fashionable to be a know-it-all.Jennings also investigates the shadowy demimonde of today’s trivia subculture, guiding us on a tour of trivia hotspots across America. He goes head-to-head with the blowhards and diehards of the college quiz-bowl circuit, the slightly soused faithful of the Boston pub trivia scene, and the raucous participants in the annual Q&A marathon in Stevens Point, Wisconsin, “The World’s Largest Trivia Contest.” And, of course, he takes us behind the scenes of his improbable 75-game run on Jeopardy!But above all, Brainiac is a love letter to the useless fact. What marsupial has fingerprints that are indistinguishable from human ones?* What planet has a crater on it named after Laura Ingalls Wilder?** What comedian had the misfortune to be born with the name “Albert Einstein”?*** Jennings also ponders questions that are a little more philosophical: What separates trivia from meaningless facts? Is being good at trivia a mark of intelligence? And is trivia just a waste of time, or does it serve some not-so-trivial purpose after all?Uproarious, silly, engaging, and erudite, this book is an irresistible celebration of nostalgia, curiosity, and nerdy obsession–in a word, trivia.* The koala** Venus*** Albert BrooksFrom the Hardcover edition.