Old magic, long forgotten, begins to return.Death lurks outside the walls of Azmark.Ancient creatures stir in the Iron Mountains.A slave's secret past threatens future peace.Haven Keep may hold the solution to all.

    Flip-flops are optional. All of your favorite hilarious Fun Stories gathered together in one place! Plus, extended versions of many of your laugh out loud favorites. PRAISE FOR FUN STORIES: “The offbeat & heartwarming humor kept me turning pages due to its rollicking adventures in every chapter. Your friends, loved ones, and co-workers will enjoy it too." "It's very funny and on point observational humor” “Has me laughing from beginning to end” "Similar to Dave Barry, Eric Idle, and Stephen Colbert's humor" “This guy's funny and charmingly off the wall” "Always thought coffee could get me through the midweek blues, but this blows it out of the water" "I love Fun Stories. Fantastic!" "Awesome stuff, really enjoyed the horse names. Great read." "Excellent and hilarious material here" INCLUDES ALL OF THESE AND MANY MORE: "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio" "The Least Amount of Fame Possible (Old MacDonald)" "Cub Scout Dropout" "Not the Next Carrie Underwood" "Bigfoot Popcorn" "Gatorade For Your Soul" "Shamelessly Suggestive City Names" "I'm the Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling" "Alright, Alright, Alright!" "Mind Game of Thrones" "Happy Friday (Mr. Pee Man)" "Clown Commuter Award" "How NASA Thins The Herd" "Crunchy Roads, Take Me Home" "Good Folks, Bad Coaching" "Ultimate Waitress Revenge" "Battle of the Bands" You'll be smiling for hours as the pages turn themselves. Three Fun Stories books have hit #1 on Amazon Humor. Five audio tracks from this book have hit the top 10 on the iTunes comedy chart. Click to download the book and start the fun! Need more info? If you enjoy the humor of these folks, you'll love reading Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Dave Barry, Dilbert, David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore, Jim Gaffigan, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, Eric Idle, Erma Bombeck, Sebastian Maniscalco, Mindy Kaling, Jen Lancaster, Amy Lyle, The Far Side, Kevin Allison, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Sloane Crosley, Jimmy Fallon, Steve Martin, Judd Apatow, Adam Mansbach, Justin Halpern, Reader’s Digest, Dad Jokes, Garfield, Saturday Night Live, Friends, and The Office. Download Fun Stories Greatest Hits to start your next comedy adventure! Enjoy Fun Stories video posts at www.facebook.com/FunStoriesSeries. Get a free Fun Pack at www.mentalkickball.com. HUMOR, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT, PARENTING & FAMILIES, PARODIES, SATIRE, ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES, CELEBRITY & POPULAR CULTURE, COMEDY, CULTURAL, ETHNIC & REGIONAL, CARTOONS, JOKES & RIDDLES, MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, POP CULTURE, RADIO, TELEVISION, PERFORMING ARTS, FUNNY BOOKS, HUMOR ESSAYS, FUNNY SHORT STORIES, FUNNY MEMOIR, HUMOR MEMOIR, FUNNY BOOK CLUB BOOKS, FUNNY ESSAYS, HUMOR BOOKS, HUMOROUS BOOKS, GIFTS FOR DAD, FUNNY GIFTS, LAUGH, LAUGH OUT LOUD, FUN, FUN, FUN, MORE COWBELL COWBELL

    A world where The Sands of Time comes to life, a unique and compelling epic fantasy. Xerxes discovers an ancient golden lamp in a shop of magical artifacts and his simple life is immediately altered, propelling him into a brand-new world inhabited by powerful alien races. On this strange and distant planet, a world so unlike Earth, Xerxes soon discovers his new identity, one that names him Dragonheart. Presented with an ancient dragon of more than five thousand years old, a dragon with indescribable magical abilities, he is compelled to accept his destiny as Dragon Rider. A destiny that drives him into the heart of threats shadowed over by the evil Naga race. Can Xerxes shoulder the responsibilities of a true Dragonheart? When the significance of the lamp comes to the fore, it becomes evident that the survival of the planet lies entirely in his hands. Reviews '...a strong first book in what will surely be an impressive series...a superb foundation for many more...' Self-Publishing Review 'Though dense with world building, this dragon rider tale remains refreshingly optimistic' Kirkus Reviews '...an excellent story that promises even more action in the next volume' Readers' Favorite About the Author Nishi Chandermun is the author of the fantasy epic, The Pearl of Immortality, Book 1 of The Sands of Time series. She lives in Durban, South Africa, and enjoys holidaying in the breathtaking and impressive city of Cape Town. She loves writing and bringing to life the workings of her avid imagination. When not occupied with swords and dragons and the magic of the Light and Dark, she enjoys coffee dates and dining out with the family. www.nishichandermun.com

    He should be relieved, happy even, yet he is left with more questions than answers.In his quest to discover his heritage, he has a single clue to follow, a man named Eamon. When dangers appear from unexpected sources, he embarks on a collision course between his search for answers and helping his friends survive.His journey will test his physical limits, his resolve, and ultimately what he’s willing to sacrifice.

    But this is no bard’s song. All of this was because of the dragon stone necklace I scavenged from that dead mage. I knew it was magic when I saw it. Well, it was and it wasn’t. Dragon stone they call it, but what it actually is, is a dragon’s egg. When I touched it, I felt the need to put it around my neck for safekeeping. When I did, the necklace embedded itself inside my skin, making me the new dragon’s envoy. It has since been my duty to protect the egg until she’s ready to hatch. How do I know the egg is a she? Easy, she talks to me and is helping me to bring out my natural magic talents. Sometimes I’d rather it was a bard’s song, as it can be tiring. Although I must admit, having a dragon inside you comes in handy when people are trying to kill you.

    If you are one of the first 15 000 (or thereabouts) readers whose versions have only 62 chapters, you are missing this addition.If you haven’t read the book, you probably shouldn’t read this, which likely makes the prospect irresistible. The free sample of Dawn of Wonder is around 70 pages, but if you someone who likes to sample the middle of a book before making a decision, you are welcome to jump in here. The spoiler-index of these chapters is relatively low.

     While attempting to save the lives of his fellow orphans he manifests a magic like power. He soon learns that using this power comes with a great risk to his own life. A beautiful sorceress, clad all in black, soon arrives with an offer to adopt him and teach him how to properly wield his powers. Once they leave, he learns that the sorceress is really the leader of a group of adventurers, and they're not the type of heroes that he has ever read about in books. They’re the kind that steal, get drunk, rob graves, loot tombs, and shoot people in the back. They basically only do what they need to in order to have a really good time. Badger is wondering what type of tale has he gotten into, because he has never read a story quite like this one!

    Brave, unwavering in his devotion to the queen, his courage knows no bounds. But it was not always so. Every story must begin somewhere, but some beginnings are darker than others.The Shadow is a prequel to the Legend of the Gate Keeper series. Although this installment features the early years of one of the main characters in the series, it is a standalone, and can be enjoyed with no prior knowledge of the series.Book 1: Land of Shadows - Our story begins here. A blacksmith from the small town of Bryer, Eric believed he would live out his days leading a peaceful life doing the work he loved. But it seems fate had other plans for him. When his home town is attacked, Eric is uprooted from his familiar surroundings and forced to embark on a journey for answers. Only one thing is certain to him now. It's painfully clear that his whole life has been nothing more than a series of lies.Book 2: Siege of Night - Whispers of the Gate Keepers return rage through Tarmerria like a forest fire. Could it be true? Has this mystical figure actually returned? Some have embraced the idea while others want to see Eric dead. Lines have been drawn, sides have been taken. There is only one way to stand for what you believe in. Tarmerria must go to war.Book 3: Lost Empire - The war is over and the city of Taron is still recovering from one of the darkest days in its history. With one battle over, another is about to begin. Our heroes must leave their familiar lands to embark on a journey by sea, far away from Tarmerria.Book 4: Reborn - Is the Gate Keeper some sort of demon? The people of this new land seem to think so. For years they have been tormented by a being with abilities similar to Eric's. So how is this foreigner who washed up on their shores any different? The Gate Keeper must prove himself and transform before their very eyes. In the eyes of the Gods and in those of the people, he must be...reborn.Book 5: The Trials of Ashbarn - The world has seen what Eric can do. Is this the one man who can take down the demon Krytoes? He has proven himself to the mortals, but must now establish himself in the eyes of the Gods themselves. Let the trials begin.Book 6: End of Days - The Gate Keeper has been named... The prophesies have come true... The world as we know it will never be the same...End of Days is the exciting conclusion to "The Legend of the Gate Keeper" series. Join Eric and his friends as they make their final push against the forces of evil.Warning Graphic Content: These books are intended for mature audiences

    Follow Mira's story as she faces life as a single mother, wrestles with the constant call of the ocean to her mermaid nature, and joins an all-male salvage team who is less than thrilled to have her. When my mother died, I ran to the ocean like a coward. Its cradle of salt puckered my memories and withered my sorrow like a grape drying in the sun. I had cheated grief and was foolish enough to think I had gotten away with it.When Nathan died, I couldn’t run away. No matter how much I flinched, bending toward the Atlantic the way ivy strains for rays of light, I could not leave. Grief was back to take what belonged to it for the time it was allotted. I had everything I wanted a few short years ago. My mate. My daughter. A home, a family. It made my head spin to think how much could change so suddenly. I mused, wondering later if I was the only mermaid to ever walk fully through the five stages of grief. But I had my daughter.Targa had yet to turn, the color and shape of her fins were yet to be revealed, but she would. I had been so sure of it then. Siren genes are passed from mother to daughter, without fail. Young legs melded into a shimmering virgin tail in response to a salty sea. But Targa didn’t turn in response to ocean water, not the first time, not any time after that. Something was wrong. I shoved my fear down deep into some dark corner where Targa would not see it and said with a smile that we’d just have to keep trying. I had turned at the age of three, but if there could be late-bloomers in the human race, why not ours too?Her fifth birthday came and went, still she hadn’t turned. Concern sent its barbs into me like a thistle, then it rooted and grew.Targa and I had weekly late night secret swims in the Atlantic, which had once been fun but were now polluted with expectation and suspense. Coaching sessions (my idea), where I attempted human psychology exercises I’d found in outdated textbooks at the library; guided visualization, breathing techniques, and even a failed go at hypnosis. The memory of her skinny little frame sitting in a bathtub containing more salt than water (Targa’s idea) is still enough to fill my eyes with moisture.I don’t know exactly when she lost hope, but she hid it expertly, patiently participating however I asked.I ignored the creeping thoughts that whispered in my mind; she didn’t even like water, didn’t really want to go for swim, couldn’t hear the ocean calling her. I would shove the thoughts away violently, excusing them as nothing but my own anxiety. It was ridiculous. A daughter of a mermaid who disliked the ocean. Impossible. When I muzzled those fears, I became aware of others of a different kind. Not my own, but hers, for me.She could see the want in my eyes. Whatever mechanism bees and dogs used to smell fear, Targa had it for despair. She could sense it on me, reeking like cheap perfume. Her eyes dipped in desperation, her obvious desire not to disappoint me sliced through me like a white-hot blade from heart to gut. She thought she was my tormentor. The realization struck like a hammer and gave me the strength to do what was needed: Let it go.The ocean could call. I’d let the smell of it crucify me, the sound of its waves crash against me, echo through me, call me, beg me.Targa’s need and my love for her was greater. If she never turned and I was locked in a land-cycle for the rest of our lives, so be it.So be it.

    

    

    

    Bill Ryder STILL isn’t one of them.This omnibus edition contains the FINAL FOUR books of the bestselling Tome of Bill series - over 2000 pages of kick-ass action and geeky humor. A supernatural war, an ancient goddess, and a prophecy stating he’s destined to kill the woman he loves. Geek turned vampire Bill Ryder really doesn’t need this shit right now. Too bad that fate says otherwise. Now he’s got to become the hero he never wanted to be because otherwise the world and everyone in it will be royally screwed.Includes: GODDAMNED FREAKY MONSTERS (Book 5) Three months have passed since Bill Ryder mysteriously disappeared. Now he’s back and just in time because civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. An ancient evil, the last remnant of a cult thought long dead, is about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times. Bill’s only chance is to muster his friends and every last bit of attitude he can – because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying. HALF A PRAYER (Book 6) An unstoppable terror has awoken deep beneath the Earth and it’s headed Bill’s way. To make matters worse, he’s been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his feelings for the woman he loves. Talk about lousy timing for introspection. As the world crumbles around him, Bill must rise to the destiny he’s been trying to deny – because if he doesn’t, his love life will be the least of his worries. THE WICKED DEAD (Book 7) Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he’s destined to face. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything he knows and loves. Why can’t the end of the world ever be easy? THE LAST COVEN (Book 8) A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That’s a lot of crap to heap on anyone’s plate, but that’s exactly what Bill Ryder has to deal with. It’s finally time for him to master his powers, sort out his relationship woes, and figure out how to survive his date with destiny. Because if he can’t get his act together, the curtain will fall and mankind will be forever plunged into everlasting darkness. Join Bill in these tales full of monsters, mayhem, and foul-mouthed laughs. If you enjoy Jim Butcher, Kevin Hearne, or K.F. Breene then you're in for a bloody good time. Click BUY NOW and dive into the complete series today.

    It might be worth it if he made any money but he doesn't. Unfortunately for him, his fate was sealed before he was even born and it's way worse than working part-time in a coffee shop.Confronted out of the blue by a cackling demonic entity from another world, like a lot of things in his life, Max doesn't take it seriously. So when he's yanked by his bones into that world, he's given every disadvantage the demon can dish out.When Max finds that he's fallen feet first into an old RPG game his dad played on the NES back in the 90s, he's immediately given two quests: Find the imprisoned girl with the green eyes, and survive. He's not sure which one's worse.Enter the world of Boneknight in this humorous take on dark fantasy litRPG