Was the Battle of Hastings a French victory?Non! William the Conqueror was Norman and hated the French.Were the Brits really responsible for the death of Joan of Arc?Non! The French sentenced her to death for wearing trousers.Was the guillotine a French invention?Non! It was invented in Yorkshire.Ten centuries' worth of French historical 'facts' bite the dust as Stephen Clarke looks at what has really been going on since 1066 ...

    Ted Wallace is an old, sour, womanising, cantankerous, whisky-sodden beast of a failed poet and drama critic, but he has his faults too.Fired from his newspaper, months behind on his alimony payments and disgusted with a world that undervalues him, Ted seeks a few months repose and free drink at Swafford Hall, the country mansion of his old friend Lord Logan.But strange things have been going on at Swafford.  Miracles, Healings, Phenomena beyond the comprehension of a mud-caked hippopotamus like Ted...

    En route, John Cleese describes his nerve-racking first public appearance, at St Peter’s Preparatory School at the age of eight and five-sixths; his endlessly peripatetic home life with parents who seemed incapable of staying in any house for longer than six months; his first experiences in the world of work as a teacher who knew nothing about the subjects he was expected to teach; his hamster-owning days at Cambridge; and his first encounter with the man who would be his writing partner for over two decades, Graham Chapman. And so on to his dizzying ascent via scriptwriting for Peter Sellers, David Frost, Marty Feldman and others to the heights of Monty Python.Punctuated from time to time with John Cleese’s thoughts on topics as diverse as the nature of comedy, the relative merits of cricket and waterskiing, and the importance of knowing the dates of all the kings and queens of England, this is a masterly performance by a former schoolmaster.

    In The Revenge of Anguished English, this "Abbot of Absurdity" (as People magazine has dubbed him) leaves us limp with laughter at how the innocent, the negligent, and the pompous mangle the English language. True to the code of this super-duper blooper snooper, all the fluffs and flubs, goofs and gaffes, and blunders, botches, boo-boos, and bloopers are genuine, authentic, certified, and unretouched. Nothing has been made up!* Student blooper: The four gospels are written by John, Paul, George, and that other guy.* Science blooper: Elephants eat roots, leaves, grasses, and sometimes bark. * In a church bulletin: Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.* A headline howler: DENVER CHAPTER WILL HAVE SENATOR FOR BREAKFAST * On a frozen food package: Defrost your frozen food before eating.* Misplaced modifier: Children should not drive golf carts under the age of sixteen.* Spelling error: The driver of the car was cited for wreckless driving.

    It's an occasionally ribald, frequently witty and unerringly erudite guided tour of the secret labyrinth that lurks beneath the English language, taking in monks and monkeys, film buffs and buffaloes, and explaining precisely what the Rolling Stones have to do with gardening.

    It’ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.Think Magellan was the first man to circumnavigate the globe, baseball was invented in America, Henry VIII had six wives, Mount Everest is the tallest mountain? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong again. You’ll be surprised at how much you don’t know! Check out THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE for more fun entries and complete answers to the following:How long can a chicken live without its head?About two years.What do chameleons do?They don’t change color to match the background. Never have; never will. Complete myth. Utter fabrication. Total Lie. They change color as a result of different emotional states.How many legs does a centipede have?Not a hundred.How many toes has a two-toed sloth?It’s either six or eight.Who was the first American president?Peyton Randolph.What were George Washington’s false teeth made from?Mostly hippopotamus.What was James Bond’s favorite drink?Not the vodka martini.

    Barrie]- Cabin Fever [ B. M. Bower]- The Secret Garden [Frances Hodgson Burnett]- A Little Princess [Frances Hodgson Burnett]- Alice's Adventures in Wonderland [Lewis Carroll]- The King in Yellow [Robert William Chambers]- The Man Who Knew Too Much [Gilbert Keith Chesterton]- The Woman in White [Wilkie Collins]- The Most Dangerous Game [Richard Connell]- On the Origin of Species, 6th Edition [Charles Darwin]- Robinson Crusoe [Daniel Defoe]- The Iron Woman [Margaret Deland]- David Copperfield [Charles Dickens]- Oliver Twist [Charles Dickens]- A Tale of Two Cities [Charles Dickens]- The Double [Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky]- The Hound of the Baskervilles [Arthur Conan Doyle]- The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes [Arthur Conan Doyle]- The Three Musketeers [Alexandre Dumas]- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button [Francis Scott Fitzgerald]- A Room with a View [E. M. Forster]- Dream Psychology [Sigmund Freud]- Tess of the d'Urbervilles [Thomas Hardy]- Siddhartha [Hermann Hesse]- Dubliners [James Joyce]- The Metamorphosis [Franz Kafka]- The Arabian Nights [Andrew Lang]- The Sea Wolf [Jack London]- The Call of Cthulhu [Howard Phillips Lovecraft]- Anne of Green Gables [Lucy Maud Montgomery]- Beyond Good and Evil [Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche]- The Murders in the Rue Morgue [Edgar Allan Poe]- The Black Cat [Edgar Allan Poe]- The Raven [Edgar Allan Poe]- Swann's Way [Marcel Proust]- Romeo and Juliet [William Shakespeare]- Treasure Island [Robert Louis Stevenson]- The Elements of Style [William Strunk Jr.]- The Adventures of Tom Sawyer [Mark Twain]- The Prince and the Pauper [Mark Twain]- The Kama Sutra [Vatsyayana]- A Journey into the Center of the Earth [Jules Verne]- The Mysterious Island [Jules Verne]- 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea [Jules Verne]- The War of the Worlds [H. G. Wells]- The Time Machine [H. G. Wells]- The Canterville Ghost by Oscar Wilde- The Voyage Out by Virginia WoolfAlso available : 50 Masterpieces you have to read before you die Vol: 1 (Golden Deer Classics)Classics Authors Super Set Serie 1 (Golden Deer Classics)

    She proclaims, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. Using examples from literature, history, neighborhood signage, and her own imagination, Truss shows how meaning is shaped by commas and apostrophes, and the hilarious consequences of punctuation gone awry.Featuring a foreword by Frank McCourt, and interspersed with a lively history of punctuation from the invention of the question mark in the time of Charlemagne to George Orwell shunning the semicolon, Eats, Shoots & Leaves makes a powerful case for the preservation of proper punctuation.

    Over 20,000 quotations from every era and every location bring you the wisdom of ages and the sound bites of today. The text is a browser's paradise that allows the reader to identify who said what, and when, and where. Here readers will find in one volume the wit and wisdom of humanity--the finest lines to be found from Shakespeare, the Bible, Mark Twain, Alan Greenspan, and hundreds of other writers, philosophers, political figures, and entertainers. This new edition contains over 200 new entries including sixty-one quotable Americans. This updated sixth edition encompasses current trends in politics and culture with quotations such as States like these constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the world (George Bush), and It's a good thing (Martha Stewart). Many other new additions are older in origin, yet enlighten events of the twenty-first century. Each illuminating entry contains in-depth details of the earliest traceable source, biographical cross-references, birth and death dates, and a career brief. With both a thematic and keyword index, scholars and readers thumbing through the book will easily be able to find quotations for all occasions. Ranging from the profound, to cogent, to witty, these quotations will add spice to your writing and conversation. An ideal reference for any home or office library, The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations is a perennial source of entertainment and inspiration for public speakers, writers, or anyone else who enjoys a sparkling line or spirited reply.

    From advertisements to e-mail, from materialism to remote controls, there's a witty answer for every situation. “You have been waiting patiently for a dictionary like this to come along. And now it is here,” recognizes Napoli. “Not that you give a crap.”

    Told in the same fanciful, irreverent style as the Hitchhiker trilogy, with scraps of scripts, letters and comments from Adams, Don't Panic is the perfect companion to one of the most successful series in publishing history.

    But the Campaign for Real Cats sets out to change all that by helping us to recognise a true, unadulterated cat when we see one.For example: real cats have ears that look like they've been trimmed with pinking shears; real cats never wear flea collars . . . or appear on Christmas cards . . . or chase anything with a bell in it; real cats do eat quiche. And giblets. And butter. And anything else left on the table, if they think they can get away with it. Real cats can hear a fridge door opening two rooms away . . .

    This collection gathers together the works by William Shakespeare in a single, convenient, high quality, and extremely low priced Kindle volume!The Comedies of William ShakespeareA Midsummer Night's DreamAll's Well That Ends WellAs You Like ItLove’s Labour ’s LostMeasure for MeasureMuch Ado About NothingThe Comedy of ErrorsThe Merchant of VeniceThe Merry Wives of WindsorThe Taming of the ShrewThe Two Gentlemen of VeronaTwelfth Night; or, What you willThe Romances of William ShakespeareCymbelinePericles, Prince of TyreThe TempestThe Winter's TaleThe Tragedies of William ShakespeareKing LearRomeo and JulietThe History of Troilus and CressidaThe Life and Death of Julius CaesarThe Life of Timon of AthensThe Tragedy of Antony and CleopatraThe Tragedy of CoriolanusThe Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of DenmarkThe Tragedy of MacbethThe Tragedy of Othello, the Moor of VeniceTitus AndronicusThe Histories of William ShakespeareThe Life and Death of King JohnThe Life and Death of King Richard the SecondThe Tragedy of King Richard the ThirdThe first part of King Henry the FourthThe second part of King Henry the FourthThe Life of King Henry VThe first part of King Henry the SixthThe second part of King Henry the SixthThe third part of King Henry the SixthThe Life of King Henry the EighthThe Poetical Works of William ShakespeareThe SonnetsSonnets to Sundry Notes of MusicA Lover's ComplaintThe Rape of LucreceVenus and AdonisThe Phoenix and the TurtleThe Passionate Pilgrim

    Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail the Bro Code.Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.

    Rowling, magical illustrations from Jim Kay and weird, wonderful and inspiring artefacts that have been magically released from the archives at the British Library. This spellbinding book takes readers on a journey through the Hogwarts curriculum, including Herbology, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, Divination and more. Discover the truth behind making the Philosopher's Stone, create your very own potion and uncover the secret of invisible ink. Learn all about the history of mandrake roots and dragons, discover what witches really used their brooms for, pore over incredible images of actual mermaids and read about real-life potions, astronomers and alchemists. The perfect gift for aspiring witches and wizards and any Harry Potter fan. Celebrating twenty years of Harry Potter magic, and produced in association with the British Library to support their major exhibition, Harry Potter: A History of Magic.Contents:The magical world of Harry Potter --The journey --Potions and alchemy --Herbology --Charms --Astronomy --Divination --Defence against the dark arts --Care of magical creatures --Past, present, future --The British Library --J. K. Rowling.