Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    Twelve classic Horrible Histories are being reissued with a tie-in cover. In Gorgeous Georgians readers can discover thehe full story: Gangs who made a living selling dead bodies. Husbands who sold their wives at auction. Doctors who cured toothache with squashed fish eyes. Join Rattus Rattus and the gang for the funniest, fastest, nastiest and daftest ride through histor you're ever likely to see..

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

     The Find-Outers have no mystery to solve, so Larry disguises himself as a window cleaner. But Larry, Fatty, Daisy, Pip and Bets soon discover that money has been stolen from the bungalow Larry was cleaning - and a few days later, all the furniture is gone too! The Find-Outers are on the case to discover who the thief is...First published in 1953, this edition contains the orginal text and is unillustrated.

    I pushed my sausages away untouched. Charting nearly ten years in the life of Adrian Mole, from his increasingly troubled adolescence and schooling to his first job as newt counter for the DoE, from his parents' marital troubles to his own difficult relationship with Pandora, from the failure of his early poems to the even grander failure of his epic novels, these three novels in one volume provide a hilarious portrait of one young man's coming of age. 'He will be remembered some day as one of England's great diarists. No matter what your troubles may be Adrian Mole is sure to make you feel better' Evening Standard

    No Zombies. No games. After their hurried escape from the Drake Mountain Facility, Isaac, and his group stumbled upon a farmhouse in a secluded valley. It's what they've been looking for. A place to make their home, both now and in the future.Can it be so easy though? Danger is coming and only time will tell if they have found the salvation they've been seeking or if their dreams will be crushed, leaving them to the same fate as all of those that died before them. This boxed set contains episodes 4-6 of America Falls, a compelling, action-packed series about who we are, and who we have to become in order to survive.What Amazon readers are saying: ★★★★★ "The characters are rich and believable, I was cheering, raging and crying as I read."★★★★★ "The story kind of sneaks up on you and before you know it, the afternoon is gone."★★★★★ "Compelling action! I could not stop reading this series... give me more, more, more!★★★★★  " I LOVED IT ! I couldn't skip words or chapters or paragraphs, I was afraid I would miss something!!!

     After the unfortunate events that took place in Britain, Jacob Hunter is no longer certain of many things, but this ill-fated truth is one he understands implicitly. Having spent months battling his addiction to the all-powerful blue orb, a device capable of traveling through time but equally adept at breaking a man’s mind, Jacob has finally succumbed to it. Once aided by loyal companions and the woman he loves, Jacob has abandoned everyone he has ever trusted, his mind warped by the orb’s influence. However, recently given new clues concerning the orb’s potential, Jacob departs for Rome, where he now knows a second orb lay hidden, waiting to be reunited with the orb he already possesses. Accompanied only by Rome’s manipulative empress, Agrippina the Younger, the pair journey to Rome where they hope to discover the secret to the orb’s power, but a destructive truth lies behind what they seek, one he may not be fully prepared to combat… But Jacob is not the only one about to embark on a daring quest. Having been abandoned and left without direction in the hinterlands of ancient Britain, Jacob’s sister, Diana, must find it in herself to rally Jacob’s jilted friends and corral an enraged Helena, the woman he loves, who carries her own mysterious secret after her life was miraculously saved at the brink of death. Unprepared for the responsibility suddenly thrust on her by Jacob's disappearance, Diana understands that she and her friends must find him before it's too late. Clouded and perverted though his mind may be, she knows her brother all too well. Jacob, tormented and driven beyond rationality, is prepared to sacrifice everything to find the lost orb. Including his life...

    89 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of The Diamond Age, or, Young Lady's Illustrated Primer.

    People are going missing and no one knows how or why. Your will meet some fantastic and hilarious characters on your way to solving the mystery. Includes the bonus story - Going on a Bat Hunt. The Hungry Toilet is a Top 10 Best Selling book with the author being described as the "New Roald Dahl of Rhyming." If your children enjoy Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and David Walliams they will love this book too! Free to Amazon Prime Members Updated for all devices (Kindle, Paperwhite, Fire, HD, iPad & iPhone)

    Portsmouth, England. A global particle physics experiment releases a pulse of unknown energy with catastrophic results. Scientists in their laboratories search desperately for a solution to the broken fabric of existence, but they are already too late, the sanctity of the grave has been sundered. There is no virus or bacteria to combat, just chaos and horror as a million graveyards expel their tenants from eternal slumber. The world is unaware of the impending apocalypse, realisation only dawns with the appearance of the mouldering corpses who devour everything they encounter. Governments crumble and armies are scattered to the wind. Kurt Taylor, a self-employed plumber, witnesses the start of the horrifying outbreak. Desperate to reach his family before they fall victim to the ever growing horde of shambling corruption, he flees the scene, watching the unfolding cannibalism and destruction in his rear view mirror. In a society with few guns, how can people hope to survive the endless waves of zombies that seek to consume every living thing? With ingenuity, planning and everyday materials, the group forge their way and strike back at the Hellspawn legions. Rescues are mounted, but not all survivors are benevolent. The evil that is in all men has been given free rein in this new, dead world. With both the living and dead to contend with, is there any hope for the Taylor family?

    Powers Unlocked. An Alliance is Born.Ten thousand years ago, the Furies nearly exterminated all life in the universe before being defeated by a coalition of worlds led by the Olympians.Or so everyone thought.Now they're back, and a new reign of terror has begun.

    It wasn't an alien spacefleet firing from above. It was a bomb planted in the center of the planet before humanity even existed. In an instant, the human population dropped from 11 billion to 1,066. I'm Loris Roderick, set to take command of the Magellan space station. I didn't know I was to become the de facto leader of our species when its survival hung by a thread. We should run, hide in some corner of the galaxy to eke out what existence we can. But I'd rather we get our revenge. Earthless is the first book in the Survivors series and is 60,000 words long. Sightless: The Survivors Series #2 is now available for Pre-Order!

    Doctor Ravinder Shah speaking. No case too weird, no problem too bizarre. Strangeness a speciality. How can I help you?” London Social Worker Rav Shah moonlights as a paranormal detective, aided by one of his clients and a Border Collie he rents by the hour. It was supposed to be a bit of fun: a search for truths out there; a quest for a life more interesting than the one that fate, destiny, and personal apathy had granted him. But then a case involving a Yorkshire farmer and a herd of flying pigs leads him into a world darker and more dangerous than he’d ever dreamed. The truth is indeed out there. And it’s got Rav square in its sights.

    The climactic engagement of this war, Operation Repulse, took place from August 2063 to February 2064, and was the most significant clash of arms on European soil in four hundred years.

    . .Holly, Naomi and Kate are determined to win the battle of the bulge. So it's down to the local slimming club, where carbs are strictly off the menu and there's no escaping the scales. But calorie-counting isn't the only thing on their minds.Newly engaged Holly should be over the moon. So why does she blush every time her sexy boss walks into the room? Curvaceous Naomi finds herself the object of a very unusual fetish and a shocking secret is revealed when an unexpected visitor arrives on Kate's doorstep. Yet with a little group support (and a particularly brutal weight loss boot camp) the women manage to stick to their regime, in time for the glamorous Slimmer of the Year Awards. But with tempting buffet tables, highly competitive contestants and even the odd fat fetishist lurking, it's anyone's guess as to what will happen . . .