In The Idiot Girl and the Flaming Tantrum of Death, she experiences the popular phenomenon of laser hair removal (because at least one of her chins should be stubble-free); bemoans the scourge of the Open Mouth Coughers on America’s airplanes; welcomes the newest ex-con (yay, a sex offender!) to her neighborhood; and watches, against her own better judgment, every Discovery Health Channel special on parasites and tapeworms that has ever aired–resulting in an overwhelming fear that a worm the size of a python will soon come a-knocking on her back door.

    As founder of the Institute of Modern Dog Trainers, I've helped transform the lives of over 100,000 dogs and their families - and now I want to help you, too!Whether you're living with a brand-new puppy, an adult dog or rescue dog, my methods will give you everything you need to know. Using simple, proven, science-based and ethical techniques, I'll show you how to have the best relationship with your pup, as well as teaching you how to get: super-fast recalls, great loose lead walking, perfect manners and much, MUCH more... I promise, it really is easy peasy and every tip, trick and lesson will bring you and your puppy closer together. I'll see you on the other side, Enjoy! Steve Mann

    A scientific look at zombies-the ultimate guide to how the other half lives (or not)How fast and far would a zombie infection spread? What would a nutritionist say about an all-brain diet? Why are the undead so pissed off? Here are the answers to all of your essential zombie questions (you know you've asked them), with a lively, science-based exploration of every aspect of the undead.First book to examine the possible science of our undead brethren, from what a zombie brain looks like to why zombies don't get fatFact-based approach-looks at zombies through the lens of real sciencePerfect gift for zombies (assuming they could read) and zombie-philesDripping with great zombie factoids and insights, The Proper Care and Feeding of Zombies will flesh out your understanding of the living dead.

    These are her collected pieces: regular bulletins from the woman writing under the covers.Marian loves shoes and her LTFs (Long-Term Friends), hates realtors and lost luggage, and she once had a Christmas office party that involved roasting two sheep on a spit, Moroccan-style. She's just like you and me ...Featuring a wide compilation of Marian's journalism from magazines and newspapers, plus some exclusive, previously unpublished material, Under the Duvet is bursting with funny stories: observations on life, in-laws, weight loss, parties and driving lessons that will keep you utterly gripped -- either wincing with recognition or roaring with laughter.

    Every page is filled with reassurance that we will see our animal friends in heaven.  The death of a beloved animal friend can be one of the most difficult events we face, often surprising us at the depth of the grief and emotion we feel.  It can be very comforting to know that the animals we love so much are safe with God, who created and loves them.  Throughout his many years as a Franciscan friar, Jack Wintz came to know—the Bible gives us many clues that we will be with our pets in heaven for eternity! St. Francis himself shared a close relationship with animals, preaching to the birds, releasing Brother Rabbit from a trip, or letting Sister Raven awaken him for early morning prayer. Franciscan spirituality tells us that all creatures form one family of creation, and God’s plan of salvation includes the whole created world.  This new, expanded edition of the original bestseller includes:  Wisdom from Friar Jack, in 14 short and simple readings Blessings, prayers, and stories from Scripture  Special presentation page to personalize the gift Adorable photos and short memories of beloved dogs Sections of the book include:  Three Prayers of Blessing  The Happiness Principle  Noah, the Ark, and the Dove Jonah and the Whale The Song of St. Francis Jesus and the World of Creation Praying with Creatures The Soul of a Dog With it reassuring message of God’s eternal love and care for all creation, I Will See You in Heaven helps us to know that we are not alone in our grief, and that our “goodbye” is not forever.   Cover photo: Hollie Betzler (2001-2018), Michigan’s first grief therapy dog, served faithfully at her family’s funeral home and area nursing homes for 16 years, giving a comforting paw at just the right time to just the right person. Her family anticipates her serving the same role at the gates of heaven, where she now waits for them.

    Author, Mark Asher experienced losing his German Shepherd/Chow mix in the worst of ways: while out of his care, at a boarding facility. At the time, Mark had just finished work on his first book, Old Friends, a loving tribute to senior dogs, and his dog, Humphrey, had been the inspiration. The sudden and devastating loss sent Mark into a debilitating state of anger, grief, and guilt, wondering what he could have done to prevent the incident. Lost and empty without his four-legged companion, who had seen him through a divorce, relocation to a new city, and a new job, Mark decided to go to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah, to volunteer and find his way through the pain. Humphrey Was Here is about how one carries on after the death of a pet that means the world to them. It is an emotional and cathartic story of grieving and recovery that will deeply touch any dog lover.

    Roberta Grimes has spent decades studying nearly two hundred years of abundant and consistent afterlife evidence, principles of quantum mechanics and consciousness research, and other scientific insights to assemble a detailed understanding of the death process and the amazing realities that we enter at death. Every human mind is eternal! We know now that living forever in a greater reality more wonderful than our most optimistic imaginings is our universal birthright.In The Fun of Dying – Find Out What Really Happens Next, Roberta lays out these facts in simple and understandable terms for people who are just beginning to explore what is known about the afterlife. She includes an annotated bibliography of some seventy books organized by topic so you can research and learn to your heart’s content. Discovering what can now be demonstrated to be true about God, reality, death, the afterlife, and the meaning and purpose of human life turns out to be not about dying after all. It’s a way to conquer every fear so you can live your most peaceful and empowered life.

    Calvin Trillin employs everything from a Gilbert and Sullivan style, for describing George Bush’s rescue in the South Carolina primary by the Christian Right (“I am, when all is said and done, a Robertson Republican”), to a bilingual approach, when commenting on the President’s casual acknowledgment, after months of trying to persuade the nation otherwise, that there was never any evidence of Iraqi involvement in 9/11: “The Web may say, or maybe Lexis-Nexis / If chutzpa is a word they use in Texas.”Trillin deals not only with George W. Bush but with the people around him—Supreme Commander Karl Rove and Condoleezza (Mushroom Cloud) Rice and Nanny Dick Cheney (“One mystery I’ve tried to disentangle: / Why Cheney’s head is always at an angle . . .”) The armchair warriors Trillin refers to as the Sissy Hawk Brigade are celebrated in such poems as “Richard Perle: Whose Fault Is He?” and “A Sissy Hawk Cheer” (“All-out war is still our druthers— / Fiercely fought, and fought by others.”).Trillin may never be poet laureate—certainly not while George W. Bush is in office—but his wit and his political insight produce what has been called “doggerel for the ages.”

    . . with the help of one not-so-little dogRocky's husband Bob was just forty-two when she discovered him lying cold and lifeless on the bathroom floor . . . and Rocky's world changed forever. Quitting her job, chopping off all her hair, she leaves Massachusetts—reinventing her past and taking a job as Animal Control Warden on Peak's Island, a tiny speck off the coast of Maine and a million miles away from everything she's lost. She leaves her career as a psychologist behind, only to find friendship with a woman whose brain misfires in the most wonderful way and a young girl who is trying to disappear. Rocky, a quirky and fallible character, discovers the healing process to be agonizingly slow.But then she meets Lloyd.A large black Labrador retriever, Lloyd enters Rocky's world with a primitive arrow sticking out of his shoulder. And so begins a remarkable friendship between a wounded woman and a wounded, lovable beast. As the unraveling mystery of Lloyd's accident and missing owner leads Rocky to an archery instructor who draws her in even as she finds every reason to mistrust him, she discovers the life-altering revelation that grief can be transformed . . . and joy does exist in unexpected places.

    The puppy that destroys her kitchen cabinets, bites her dates, pees on her neighbours, and bays at the moon is her worst nightmare - and her son's best friend. She tries everything to fix him - from obedience training and an animal behaviorist to puppy prozac and, well, fixing him. But nothing really works. Freddie remains strongly, exclusively, and steadfastly bad. As Mikey grows up and prepares to leave home, Paula's worst fear is that after more than thirty years of raising kids, she'll be left all alone - with Freddie. But the time Mikey graduates from high school, Freddie has howled his way into her heart - and earned a lifelong place in her empty nest.

    So let her help you take a look at that decade of sagging kneecaps and college reunions and fantasies of love in the afternoon: at Maoist kids, cholesterol counts, adult-education courses and other atrocities—which somehow just don’t hurt so much when you laugh.

    The Golden Retriever's personality is as golden as his outer coat. He was bred to please, and please he does. He started out as a hunting partner who delivered birds to hand and has evolved into modern times delivering whatever suits his owner's fancy. Because Golden Retrievers were originally bred to work in tandem with humans, they are also highly trainable. Golden Retrievers For Dummies is intended for busy 21st century dog owners who don't have time to sit down and read through 300 pages at a crack. This is a reference you can jump in and out of as dog questions rear their furry heads. This handy guide is also for you ifYou own a Golden Retriever or thinking about getting one. You've just brought home a Golden pup. You want to find the best way to raise and train your Golden. You want to help your Golde n to not just survive but to thrive. Find out what it takes to own this active, intelligent, and friendly dog. Explore the Golden's personality traits and living requirements. Discover which diseases are hereditary. This reference guide covers all the aspects of dog ownership, including:Looking at breeders, rescue groups, and animal shelters Adopting and caring for older dogs Selecting a puppy with help from an established testing process Dog-proofing your house and yard Crate training, housetraining, and obedience training Canine communication and growing pains Feeding, exercising, and playing with your Golden Dealing with illness, problem behavior, and treatment Grooming for health and beauty If you're serious about this Golden business and not just caving in to the kids or some other wild impulse, follow the advice of responsible dog owners and breeders. Look deep into your dog-loving soul and carefully consider the big picture. Love alone is not enough.

    Kear's biggest concern is choosing a major--until she walks into a doctor's office in midtown Manhattan and gets a life-changing diagnosis. She is going blind, courtesy of an eye disease called retinitis pigmentosa, and has only a decade or so before Lights Out. Instead of making preparations as the doctor suggests, Kear decides to carpe diem and make the most of the vision she has left. She joins circus school, tears through boyfriends, travels the world, and through all these hi-jinks, she keeps her vision loss a secret.When Kear becomes a mother, just a few years shy of her vision's expiration date, she amends her carpe diem strategy, giving up recklessness in order to relish every moment with her kids. Her secret, though, is harder to surrender - and as her vision deteriorates, harder to keep hidden. As her world grows blurred, one thing becomes clear: no matter how hard she fights, she won't win the battle against blindness. But if she comes clean with her secret, and comes to terms with the loss, she can still win her happy ending.Told with humor and irreverence, Now I See You is an uplifting story about refusing to cower at life's curveballs, about the power of love to triumph over fear. But, at its core, it's a story about acceptance: facing the truths that just won't go away, and facing yourself, broken parts and all.

    From the decision to adopt a pup through the practical steps of choosing the right breed, preparing your home, caring for your new charge, and practicing basic obedience exercises, the Monks of New Skete offer clear, compassionate guidelines for raising a puppy. Renowned for breeding German shepherds, the Monks train their own beautiful dogs, and dogs of any breed, according to a unique program based on understanding canine behavior and enhancing the bond between dog and owner. This communion begins in puppyhood and is based on deep respect and affection. Improper care, poor training, or a lack of attention during the early months can lead to problem behaviors that become increasingly difficult to alter as your dog matures. By learning to gently assert your dominance from the start, you'll build a lasting and loving relationship with your pup. This complete guide, illustrated with more than eighty black-and-white photographs, explains the stages of puppy development, how to communicate with your pup, how to begin a complete training program, and how to deal with common problems like chewing, jumping up, and paper-training. The kind of fulfillment a solid relationship with your pup can bring is demonstrated in the stories of three dogs who have assumed special places in their owners lives. The Art of Raising a Puppy is an essential source of wisdom, information, and inspiration for anyone who loves and cares for a puppy. As a community, the Monks of New Skete have been breeding, raising, and training dogs for more than twenty years. New Skete Monastery is located in Cambridge, New York.

    Celebrating the grouch in everyone, the Grumpy Cat book teaches the fine art of grumpiness and includes enough bad attitude to cast a dark cloud over the whole world. Featuring brand new as well as classic photos, and including grump-inspiring activities and games, Grumpy Cat delivers unmatched, hilarious grumpiness that puts any bad mood in perspective.