The Christmas Contract


Jan Romes - 2013
    While he's generous with his money, he also makes the community work for it. He's the same with his family. No free handouts. What he gives has strings attached. Dax decides it's time for his fiercely independent, almost-thirty year old granddaughters to settle down. He wants them to find love and give him great-grandchildren before his lights go out. And he knows how to make it happen. Prompted by love, guilt and a desire to own their own business, the Dawson triplets -- Joy, Noelle and Christi -- enter into a Christmas contract that will change their lives forever. Finding true love is a unique adventure, so each girl has their own story. The outcome for all three, however, funnels into one giant happily-ever-after.

Big Nate Comics 3-Book Collection: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?, Here Goes Nothing, Genius Mode


Lincoln Peirce - 2014
    Included are the first three Big Nate comic compendiums: Big Nate: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?, Big Nate: Here Goes Nothing, and Big Nate: Genius Mode. Diary of a Wimpy Kid author Jeff Kinney says, "Big Nate is funny, big time!"

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed


The Onion - 2011
    Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

Permanent Visitors


Kevin Moffett - 2006
    Some move toward the future heartened by what they learn from those around them--a tattoo artist, an invented medicine man, zoo animals, strangers, fellow outsiders. Deftly rendered, these stories abound with oddness and grace.In “Tattooizm,” included in The Best American Short Stories 2006, a young woman struggles with a promise that her boyfriend is determined to make her keep. In the Nelson Algren Award–winning “Space,” a reluctantly undertaken errand forces a young man to finally confront the death of his mother. And in “The Medicine Man,” hailed by the Times (U.K.) as “perfectly pitched and perfectly written,” a man recounts his manic attachment to his sister.Moffett’s closely observed stories are candid and complex, funny and moving. The world of Permanent Visitors is an idiosyncratic and generous one, its inhabitants searching for constancy in a place crowded with contradiction.

Hi Honey, I'm Home (Palisades Pure Romance)


Linda Windsor - 1999
    Instead she found herself face-to-face with the one person she never expected to see again: her supposedly deceased husband! An obsessive journalist who put his job before everything else, Nick Egan was reportedly killed in a terrorist attack five years ago. But there he stands, as impressive as ever, ready and waiting to take up life where he left off. Well, Kathryn isn't interested! She's done just fine without him, thank you. And Nick Egan is not getting back into her life. But Nick, and their precocious boys, have other ideas. They're determined to prove to Kate that God has truly changed Nick's heart--no matter what it takes! A funny, heartwarming tale that's a delightful cross between Mr. Mom and The Parent Trap!

Up to No Good


Marsha Cornelius - 2016
    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

Completions and Connections (A New Beginnings Book 0)


Kathryn R. Biel - 2015
    Try something new. Buy a pair of heels. Get a promotion. Fall in love. Seems simple, especially when Christine meets Patrick, the man who could be Mr. Right. He's got the right credentials: a job, a sense of humor, a love of all things Indiana Jones, and best of all, he's actually taller than Christine. But busy schedules take over and gets in the way of Patrick and Christine's budding romance. Life interferes, as it has a way of doing, and Christine wants to throw in the towel. Is the magic of the Christmas season enough to renew Christine's faith in love?

Meat Market


Rob Radcliffe - 2015
    Fortunately Greg's best mate Stu has come to the rescue. Now it's Stu's job to lead Greg down the path of enlightenment, where woman swarm by their hundreds and will pay for Greg's company. Welcome to the Meat Market, where everything has a price, even love.

Diary of a Super Spy (An hilarious adventure for children aged 7 - 12)


Peter Patrick - 2014
    Tuesday started out like any other day – until my school became the target of a zombie attack! I tried to call my Dad, but he wouldn’t answer. So my school is about to be taken over by crazy zombies – but not if I can help it! This story is a funny adventure that is engaging for children, middle school students, and grown-ups.

To Air is Human: One Man's Quest to Become the World's Greatest Air Guitarist


Björn Türoque - 2006
     The true story of how mildly successful guitarist and New York Times writer Dan Crane relinquished his instrument and became Björn Türoque (pronounced "b-yorn too-RAWK"), the second greatest air guitarist in the nation. This exploration of the international air guitar sub-culture addresses the issue of dedicating oneself to an invisible art in order to achieve the ultimate goal of "airness"-that is, when air guitar transcends the "real" art that it imitates and becomes an art form in and of itself.

Patchwork A Story of 'The Plain People'


Anna Balmer Myers - 1920
    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

Scratch


Troon Mcallister - 2003
    When Eddie's former caddie, "Fat Albert" Auberlain (a cross between Tiger Woods and John Daly), loses his PGA Tour card, his endorsements, and his composure after posting a twelve on a par three at the Fruit-of-the-Loom Waste Management Open, Eddie finds the sad sack on his doorstep. Fat Albert, in debt up to his eyeballs and with several needy relatives to feed, had barely been eking out a living on Tour as it was, and the pressure was threatening to make him implode altogether. Eddie takes pity on his protege but isn't quite sure what he can do, when along comes nuclear physicist Norman Standish with the most revolutionary advance in golf equipment since the double niblick-a golf ball they call Scratch. If Standish's claims are true, Eddie could make the killing of his strange and wonderful life and just possibly change the game forever. With McAllister's patented golf hustling hijinks, roller-coaster plotting, and laugh-out-loud skewering of pro sports hypocrisy, Eddie's die-hard fans and golf fiction aficionados will laugh all the way to the putting green. As Eddie himself puts it in The Foursome, "Why do you think they call the devil "Scratch"?"

Hey, Cowgirl, Need a Ride?


Baxter Black - 2005
    When Teddie Arizona, woman of mystery, crawls out of the wreckage of her plane and into their lives with a $5,000,000 secret, things start to get interesting.When T.A.’s “husband,” F. Rank Pantaker, dispatches his henchmen to retrieve the money—and the girl—Lick and Al find themselves trying to outrun the bad guys and protect a damsel in distress. Is T.A. out to cheat her cheatin’ husband, or is she really just trying to stop an illegal scheme cooked up by F. Rank and the infamous Ponce de Crayon, Vegas’s most glamorous tiger tamer? Is she playing Lick—or is it love? Will Al Bean’s cockeyed plan, an able assist from Cody, Lick’s cowboy sidekick, a brigade of old-time rodeo reunioneers, and twenty miles of duct tape be enough to stop F. Rank’s nefarious schemes, reform a career party girl, and change the hearts and minds of ten of the world’s most thrill-seeking billionaires? Can Cody keep Lick from climbing onto raging bull Kamikaze’s back one more time? Can true love triumph over shoot-outs at the not-so-okay corral and close encounters with white tigers? Hey, this is Baxter Black—what do you think? With its colorful cast of characters, rip-roaring humor, and inventive language, this caper will have you riding high long after it gallops to a thunderously satisfying conclusion.

Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner, Starring Dark Zader: Star Wars Parody, Kid's Books, Books For Kids, Children, Sci-fi, Parody Books, Teen Books, Fiction Books for Teens, Humorous Books)


Tyler Shaw - 2015
    Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job. Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed. Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever. Double the excitement. Triple the laughs. Paintbrush illustrations. This is... Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

The Monkey's Penis (Shingles Book 3)


Steve Wetherell - 2018
    Entering a world of mysterious powers and nightmarish consequences, Chris realizes the secret belief of every teenage boy- that his wang has the power to change the world. The Monkey's Penis is the third installment in the terrifying Shingles series, and once again readers with weak hearts or bladders are advised to read on at their own risk...