When People Are Big and God Is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man


Edward T. Welch - 1997
    Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. Of course, the “fear of man” goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called “peer pressure.” When we are older, it is called “people-pleasing.” Recently, it has been called “codependency.” With these labels in mind, we can spot the fear of man everywhere. Diagnosis is fairly straightforward. - Have you ever struggled with peer pressure? “Peer pressure” is simply a euphemism for the fear of man. - Are you over-committed? Do you find that it is hard to say no even when wisdom indicates that you should? Are you are a “people-pleaser,” another euphemism for the fear of man ? - Do you “need” something from your spouse? Do you “need” your spouse to listen to you? Respect you? Think carefully here. Certainly God is pleased when there is good communication and a mutual honor between spouses. But for many people, the desire for these things has roots in something that is far from God’s design for his image-bearers. Unless you understand the biblical parameters of marital commitment, your spouse will become the one you fear. Your spouse will control you. Your spouse will quietly take the place of God in your life. - Is self-esteem a critical concern for you? This, at least in the United States, is the most popular way that the fear of other people is expressed. If self-esteem is a recurring theme for you, chances are that your life revolves around what others think. You reverence or fear their opinions. You need them to buttress your sense of well-being and identity. You need them to fill you up. - Do you ever feel as if you might be exposed as an impostor? Many business executives and apparently successful people do. The sense of being exposed is an expression of the fear of man. It means that the opinions of other people — especially their possible opinion that you are a failure — are able to control you. - Are you always second-guessing decisions because of what other people might think? Are you afraid of making mistakes that will make you look bad in other people’s eyes? - Do you feel empty or meaningless? Do you experience “love hunger”? Here again, if you need others to fill you, you are controlled by them. - Do you get easily embarrassed? If so, people and their perceived opinions probably define you. Or, to use biblical language, you exalt the opinions of others to the point where you are ruled by them. THE problem is clear: People are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: We must learn to know that our God is more loving and more powerful than we ever imagined. Yet this task is not easy. Even if we worked at the most spectacular of national parks, or the bush in our backyard started burning without being consumed, or Jesus appeared and wrestled a few rounds with us, we would not be guaranteed a persistent reverence of God. Too often our mountain-top experiences are quickly overtaken by the clamor of the world, and God once again is diminished in our minds. The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of God.

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change


Paul David Tripp - 2002
    God radically changes people, and he offers us the opportunity--and the ability, by his power--to be involved in that change. We can live not just as grateful objects of his love but as effective instruments of his love in the lives of the people around us. Have you been satisfied by too little? Content with small changes in your life and the lives of others? Unsure of how to help others and uncomfortable when you encounter their needs? You don't need to start with a strategy or technique, Tripp argues--you need a renewed imagination! Only then can you grasp what is real but unseen and live accordingly. The kingdom of God is near, and it takes us far beyond our personal situations and relationships, making ordinary people a part of God's extraordinary plan for the world. This guidebook shows us how.

Uprooting Anger, Biblical Help for a Common Problem


Robert D. Jones - 2005
    Jones is an absolute treasure, thoroughly biblical, extremely practical, and well written. Jones tackles a problem--sin--with which every believer must deal and, rather than offer some psychological mumble-jumble, takes the reader directly to the Word of God. The issue of anger is framed and handled as the Holy Spirit intended. As a result, the reader is given biblical instruction and hope.

Relationships: A Mess Worth Making


Timothy S. Lane - 2006
    With penetrating insight and practical applications, Relationships: A Mess Worth Making identifies how to work through the most stubborn problems that plague any contemporary relationship - be it marriage, parent-child, or friendship.

The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict


Ken Sande - 1990
    Serious, divisive conflict is everywhere-within families, in the church, and out in the world. And it can seem impossible to overcome its negative force in our lives. In The Peacemaker, Ken Sande presents a comprehensive and practical theology for conflict resolution designed to bring about not only a cease-fire but also unity and harmony. Sande takes readers beyond resolving conflicts to true, life-changing reconciliation with family members, coworkers, and fellow believers.Biblically based, The Peacemaker is full of godly wisdom and useful suggestions that are easily applied to any relationship needing reconciliation. Sande's years of experience as an attorney and as president of Peacemaker Ministries will strengthen readers' confidence as they stand in the gap as peacemakers.

Trusting God: Even When Life Hurts


Jerry Bridges - 1988
    And as you come to know Him better, you'll find yourself trusting Him more completely.

Speaking Truth in Love: Counsel in Community


David A. Powlison - 2005
    No wonder God has so much to say about our words. We are all counselors, whether we realize it or not! Speaking Truth in Love is a blueprint for communication that strengthens community in Christ. The principles outlined in this pivotal work are specific to counseling, yet extend to marriage, family, friendship, business and the church. ? Have you ever wondered how to be a more effective counselor? ? Have you ever looked for a better way to talk to difficult people? ? Have you ever wanted to express faith and love more naturally in your relationships? Practical in its approach yet comprehensive in its scope, Speaking Truth in Love is sure to become required reading for anyone interested in pursuing a career as a counselor or anyone else who longs for ways to redeem relationships.

Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace


Heath Lambert - 2013
    But real freedom isn’t found by trying harder to change. Nor is it found in a particular method or program. Only Jesus Christ has the power to free people from the enslaving power of pornography.In Finally Free, Dr. Heath Lambert, a leader in the biblical counseling movement, lays out eight gospel-centered strategies for overcoming the deceitful lure of pornography. Each chapter clearly demonstrates how the gospel applies to this particular battle and how Jesus can move readers from a life of struggle to a life of purity.If you or someone you care about is fighting this battle, there is good news: No matter how intense or long-standing the struggle, Jesus Christ can, will, and does set people free from the power of pornography.“I’ve read just about every Christian book on the topic of pornography. Finally Free is now the number one book I will recommend to pastors, counselors, strugglers, and those who love them.- Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., Executive Director, The Biblical Counseling Coalition; Author, Sexual Abuse: Beauty for Ashes“This book is richly biblical, soundly Christian, and centered in the gospel. Christians should read it and quickly pass it to others. It will be of enormous help to pastors, youth ministers, college ministers, and the Christians of all ages struggling against the tide of our pornographic age.”- R. Albert Mohler Jr., president Southern Baptist Theological Seminary

The Bait Of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense


John Bevere - 1994
    Most people who are ensnared by the bait of Satan don't even realize it. Don't be fooled! You will encounter offense, and it's up to you how it will affect your relationship with God. Your response will determine your future. If offense is handled correctly, you will become stronger rather than bitter.In this tenth anniversary edition of his best-selling book, John Bevere shows you how to stay free from offense and escape the victim mentality. With more than 400,000 copies in print, this book includes testimonials of transformed people who have read copies in print, this book includes testimonials of transformed people who have read the original book and a devotional supplement, featuring discussion questions, scriptures, and prayers.You will find answers to tough questions like these:Why am I compelled to tell "my side" of the story? How can I fight thoughts of suspicion or distrust? What can I do to stop rehearsing past hurts? How can I regain trust after someone deeply offends me?This book will help you escape the enemy's "offensive trap" as well as empower you to stay free of offense, enabling you to have an unhindered relationship with God.

Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul


John Eldredge - 2001
    Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free!

From Forgiven to Forgiving: Learning to Forgive One Another God's Way


Jay E. Adams - 1989
    The best thing you can do is "forgive and forget". You aren't forgiven until you feel forgiven. In this book, Dr. Jay Adams carefully explores all dimensions of the process of forgiveness.A  He can help you understand biblical forgiveness from beginning to end and apply that understanding to everyday situations ranging from forgiving your straying spouse or prodigal child - and being forgiven by them as well.

Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom


Nancy Leigh DeMoss - 2006
    But there are biblical prinicples that can help you break free from bitterness and pain. In Choosing Forgiveness, discover specific strategies for putting God's grace and mercy into practice -- forgiving others as God has forgiven you.

Practicing Affirmation: God-Centered Praise of Those Who Are Not God


Sam Crabtree - 2011
    Christian communities are no exception. Why do so many of our relationships suffer from alienation, indifference, and even hostility?Author Sam Crabtree believes that often at the heart of these breakdowns is a lack of affirmation. He observes in Scripture that God grants mercy to those who refresh others, and in life that people tend to be influenced by those who praise them. Crabtree shows how a robust "God-centered affirmation ratio" refreshes others and honors God.Practicing Affirmation sounds a call to recognize and affirm the character of Christ in others. When done well, affirmation does not fuel pride in the person, but refreshes them and honors God. All who are discouraged in relationships will find wisdom and practical insight in this book.

Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety: Becoming a Woman of Faith and Confidence


Elyse M. Fitzpatrick - 2001
    Overcoming Fear, Worry, and Anxiety accesses this information to help women—Identify the source of fear, worry, and anxietyTransform fearful thoughts into peaceful confidenceDiscover specific strategies for overcoming anxietyWomen will find comfort and encouragement through real-life examples of how others, including Elyse, cast their cares upon God and experience His strength and love.

Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers for Complex Questions and Deep Wounds


Chris Brauns - 2008
    This question is part of Chris Brauns's Forgiveness Quiz that draws readers into his book and gets them thinking about the subject of forgiveness. The truth is, pastors and counselors disagree profoundly on this subject. Unpacking Forgiveness combines sound theological thinking and honesty about the complicated questions many face to provide readers with a solid understanding of biblical forgiveness.Only God's Word can unpack forgiveness. The wounds are too deep for us to find healing on our own, and the questions are too complex to be unraveled by anything but the wisdom of God. This book goes beyond a feel-good doctrine of automatic forgiveness, balancing the beauty of God's grace and the necessity of forgiveness with the teaching that forgiveness must take place in a way that is consistent with justice.