But the life of one Brentford schoolboy is turned upside down when he is sent on a mission by a Venusian he finds in his Daddy's allotment shed, and with Barry the Time Sprout lodged in his head to act as his guardian angel, the sky really is the limit.For the boy has to pose as the famous detective Lazlo Woodbine, and his travels will take him to an alternative future, where a vast pleasure palace space liner orbits the Earth, and where one Count Ilya Rostof is planning a celebration of Queen Victoria's ninetieth year on the throne. He will travel to the fabled Garden on Venus, and even to Heaven to meet with God - a rather nice man named Terrance. But even as these events are taking place, what of the nefarious schemes of Lord Willoughby Chase, of Professor Mandelbrot and the silly boys and their plans to fly a spacecraft into the Sun, and what of the etherial Poppett and the fabled vegetable lamb of Tartary? Never mind Lady Raygun and a group of fanatical space pirates ...A work of surreal brilliance from the mind of Robert Rankin, combining ecumenical ponderings with breathless space opera, and jaw dropping imagination.

    Love only gives you heartache, and in my case? It got me poisoned. Literally. Tough break, right? It gets worse.The Elven government "said" it was only one task, but I should have read the fine print. That teensy job? Taking out the biggest baddie our worlds have ever seen. Spying for the enemy wasn't the plan, but every attemptto escape only entrenches me deeper into a criminal war I never wanted to be part of.Good thing my mama taught me how to fight dirty. I will play their game, and do the one thing they didn't think possible. I'll win.Fact 521 - Vengeance doesn't have wings. She wears stilettos.

     In the small town of Black Bay, a vacant, forgotten house sits atop an overlooking bluff. When Bailey and Bodhi Taylor move in and begin renovations, the house seems perfect. But things move on their own, screams echo from the basement, and Bailey sees a shadowy figure out of the corner of her eye. Is the house haunted? And if it is, what does the ghost want with Bailey? The Haunting of Bechdel Mansion: A Haunted House Mystery One couple must unearth the secrets of a small-town murder before it's too late. A young couple from the city move to a small town, looking for a fresh start. They soon find their dream house in an old Victorian mansion and everything seems perfect, that is, until they experience strange supernatural occurrences linked to an unsolved mass murder from forty years ago. Unearthing the secrets buried within the mansion won't be easy. Can they solve the mystery in time, or will they face the same doomed fate as the tenants who came before them?

    Oscar Orcus is considered a third-rate Synergist by most people. He spends his days peacefully, working so he can send money back to an orphanage. All that changes when the whirlwind that is Miledi Reisen storms into his life. Miledi sees the hidden potential in Oscar, and invites him on her journey to defeat the gods. Oscar wants no part of any journey, and he refuses. But Miledi is persistent, and the situation changes drastically when the orphanage he wants to protect is attacked. In the end, what will our unlikely hero decide?

    Please note that this is not a comedic story.Content Warning: Profanity, Cannibalism (Is it still cannibalism if it's a zombie eating a human?), Gore (Just a little, it comes with the cannibalism)

    Neither are Tanis, Amanda, Ryck, Cal, Marc, or Terry Henry.  What stories do our heroes from seven different successful series talk about when they come together in one place, at one time.  From the minds of Michael Anderle, Jonathan P. Brazee, M.D. Cooper, Craig Martelle, Barry J. Hutchison, Andrew Dobell, and Richard Fox. Listen in as both the drinks and the bar stories both flow with reckless abandon.

    The greatest warriors, engineers and scientists of the age blaze a path to the worlds of T’Karan and Helios, far away from the human worlds of the Alliance. There they will meet alien races and become embroiled in intergalactic politics and conflict. Characters such as Spartan, the illegal pitfighter turned war hero of the Great Uprising, Teresa Morato, senior commander in the Marine Corps and a deadly warrior and Gun, the synthetic warrior giant turned General, a figure with a burning desire to hunt time and destroy the enemy’s of his tortured people. All of them will play their part in shaping humanity’s future in the galaxy. This compendium edition contains the full text of the first three novels, Legions of Orion, Machine Gods and Heroes of Helios. Legions of Orion A chance discovery on the jungle world of Hyperion leads Alliance scientists on a path to creating a permanent spacebridge to the distant Orion Nebula. In a matter of days, great fleets of military and civilian ships depart for the single greatest expedition since the colonisation of Alpha Centauri. Into this great adventure travel two heroes of the war, retired Marines Spartan and Teresa Morato, and their son Jack. Now senior members of an elite private military corporation, they are at the heart of the Alliance bold new plan. Their discovery of buried machines, as well as derelict spacecraft in the first system encountered triggers events that will see the Alliance embroiled in a military conflict like no other. Discoveries of a dead people who have been wiped out by an unknown enemy sends a shudder through the many worlds of the Alliance. Machine Gods After decades of war, the Alliance reached the Orion Nebula and discovered the advanced but shattered remnants of the T'Kari. People and ships are diverted to this rich area of space to continue its exploration and exploitation. At the same time a secretive faction of the T'Kari, known simply as the Raiders unleash attacks on any ships or facilities left unguarded, be it human or T'Kari. Heroes of Helios A strike group of the dozen most advanced ships in the Alliance is assembled and sent to a summit of the remaining great powers of Orion. It is a measure of the reputation and military prowess of humanity that they are to be allowed to participate in joint exercises with the Narau Navy, a combined military force made up of ships from the five alien empires. At the same time a diplomatic mission lands on the surface of the planet to meet with the leaders in the Helion Council. The 15-book Star Crusades series includes: STAR CRUSADES NEXUS Legions of Orion (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 1) Machine Gods (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 2) Heroes of Helios (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 3) The Great Betrayal (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 4) Prophecy of Fire (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 5) Call to Arms (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 6) Battle for Helios (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 7) Wrath of the Gods (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 8) The Black Rift (Star Crusades Nexus, Book 9) STAR CRUSADES UPRISING Siege of Titan (Star Crusades Uprising, Book 1) Tears of Kerberos (Star Crusades Uprising, Book 2) Fires of Prometheus (Star Crusades Uprising, Book 3) Battle for Proxima (Star Crusades Uprising, Book 4) Fall of Terra Nova (Star Crusades Uprising, Book 5) Slaves of Hyperion (Star Crusades Uprising, Book 6) These titles are also available as combined trilogies including: STAR CRUSADES NEXUS: THE FIRST TRIL

    However, he's still focused on following in his father's footsteps and has stepped up his training by enlisting Evangeline as his magic master and Ku Fei as his martial arts master. How can a ten-year-old find the time to learn magic and martial arts from two demanding teachers and still be able to deal with his crazy class of hyperactive students?

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    All Witch World knows that the hunted, hated beasts serve Evil--all except one young woman. Fleeing her home after her beloved grandfather dies, the orphaned Navajo-Comanche girl Eleeri follows an ancient and magical trail to Witch World. When she discovers the Kepliana mare Tharna and her newborn colt in the hands of men eager to destroy them, Eleeri fights for their freedom. Running for their lives, psychic Eleeri and telepathic Tharna bond. And in a hidden canyon, they discover the awesome truth: The Keplians were created to serve Light, and to ride with humans. THE MAGESTONE They are two strangers whose people have been at war for a millennium. Mereth, a Dales trader, crosses the sea to Estcarp and the archival citadel at Lormt, seeking clues to the fate of a missing heirloom, an ancient jewel of Power. At the same time, an Alizonder hound lord, Kasarian, finds that an ancestor's key opens a magic gate to distant Lormt. Alizonders are wolfish tyrants who fight with sadistic poisons

    

    Raphael, the owner, is more interested in his newspaper than sales. Folio the bookshop cat has it in for Jemma, and the shop itself appears to have a mind of its own. Or is it more than that?Gradually Jemma starts to make a difference ... and then the anonymous letters start arriving. Who is behind them, and why?As the threats escalate, and the shop becomes increasingly turbulent, Jemma and Raphael must work together to find the culprit. And what else will Jemma find in her investigations?Every Trick In The Book is the first in the Magical Bookshop humorous mystery series, set in modern London.

    

    But things go from bad to worse when they are suddenly attacked by a cadre of Arm Slaves.