Sexual Outsiders: Understanding BDSM Sexualities and Communities


David M. Ortmann - 2012
    While misunderstandings surrounding these communities prevail, BDSM sexuality cuts across race, gender, nationality, and sexual orientation. BDSM describes forms of sexuality that incorporate restraint, pressure, sensation, training, and elements of both erotic and non-erotic power exchange between the engaged parties. Some BDSM "scenes" include role-playing, spanking, blindfolds, ropes, and erotic costuming. Sexual Outsiders is designed as a guide for BDSM community members who must wade through the quagmire of unique problems they face: coming out to family, friends and partners; distinguishing abusive relationships from healthy consensual ones; finding and developing community; overcoming shame and denial; exploring whether BDSM sexuality can be a healing tool; gaining access to quality, culturally competent psychotherapy; and finding strategies to develop a healthy sexual self-esteem in the face of current medical and social standards that view them as sick or pathological. The book also serves as an educational primer for those whose partners, friends, and family members are involved in BDSM. In terms of challenges faced by BDSM communities, the most significant is living with a stigmatized sexuality shame, prejudice, discrimination, isolation, depression, and a lack of adequate, competent mental health care. Issues such as coming out as a sexual minority, finding community and partners, and dealing with scenes and relationships that go wrong are some the common experiences shared by members of BDSM communities. Sexual Outsiders employs common sense, good humor, and vivid anecdotes while incorporating basic ideas about human behavior, psychology, philosophy, interviews, history, and clinical case studies to illustrate the real lives and experiences of men and women in BDSM communities. Anyone wanting to learn more about this unique, and more-common-than-you-think expression of sexuality, will find in these pages insight into the various challenges BDSM practitioners face, and the many strengths that people in the BDSM communities have developed in the face of social stigma and prejudice.

Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes


Two Knotty Boys - 2008
    In this book, famed bondage riggers the Two Knotty Boys show readers how to tie basic knots and use them in sensual bondage techniques. With the help of renowned photographer Ken Marcus, the Boys use more than 750 full-color photos to illustrate the techniques for turning rope into rope bondage. Easy-to-follow captions and clear, step-by-step images allow readers to learn at their own pace, review entire techniques at a glance, or lay the book flat on a bed or table and follow along as they subdue their partner. Written in a playful style that makes rope bondage safe and approachable, and covering a wide range of techniques from basic ties to decorative ropework pieces, Two Knotty Boys Back on the Ropes is the perfect bedside companion for curious newcomers and serious players alike.

Conquer Me: Girl-To-Girl Wisdom About Fulfilling Your Submissive Desires


Kacie Cunningham - 2010
    But how can a woman get her needs met when she's relinquished her power to her dominant partner? With warmth, wisdom and a down-to-earth approach, experienced submissive Kacie Cunningham analyzes the realities of the dominant-submissive lifestyle and suggests ways in which both partners can experience the greatest possible growth and pleasure. At the heart of the book is an emotion Kacie has dubbed "Conquer Me" -- which she defines as "the submissive's internal demand for a show of strength." Without a clear understanding of "conquer me," both submissive and dominant may find themselves at odds -- either fighting unhappily, or watching the passion ebb from their relationship. This book explains this unique need and how to get it met -- essential knowledge for any submissive or couple who wants to get the most out of their D/s lifestyle.

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century


Barbara Carrellas - 2005
    With a juicy mix of erotic how-to and pleasure-centered spiritual wisdom, acclaimed sex educator Barbara Carrellas radically updates the ancient practice of Tantra for modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm.With more than one hundred easy-to-follow techniques for expanded orgasmic states and solo and partner play (as well as more adventurous practices), this in-depth guide reveals the delicious worlds of ecstasy available to all, including:The Erotic Awakening Massage • Breath and Energy Orgasms • Twenty-Minute Tantra Evolutionary Selfloving • Sex and Healing • Tantric BDSMNo matter what your gender, sexual preference, or erotic tastes, URBAN TANTRA will expand your notions about pleasure and open you up to new heights of intimacy and sexual fulfillment.

Daddy


Madison Young - 2013
    From the fraught relationship with her biological father to "leather daddies" of the adult and BDSM communities, Daddy explores Young's interwoven relationships with each of them and the sex positive values that she teaches and lectures on across the country at Yale University, Berkeley University, Good Vibrations, Smitten Kitten, Tool Shed, Kinky Kollege, and Austin Rope Symposium.

The Heart of Dominance: A Guide to Practicing Consensual Dominance


Anton Fulmen - 2016
    If you are new to dominance, still figuring out just what it’s all about or what you want it to mean to you, then this book will provide you with a solid foundation from which to start. If you already practice dominance and are interested in improving your ability to create deep and lasting power dynamics then you’ll find many advanced concepts and concrete techniques to integrate into your own personal style. What consensual dominance means here is any kind of intentional, mutually desired, mutually fulfilling exercise of power and control between partners. There are a lot of different kinds of connections that fit that broad definition, and the fundamental principles that this book explores can be applied to any of them. So it should be just as valuable whether you practice dominance in occasional intense evenings within an otherwise egalitarian relationship, in a full-time power exchange relationship, in long distance or online relationships, in pick-up play with strangers at BDSM clubs, or anywhere else. This book also doesn’t assume that you fit any stereotype about what a person who dominates should look or act like. It looks at dominance as a practice -- as something that any person can learn to do, rather than something that some people are -- and it is meant for anyone with a desire to learn to practice dominance well. It is written to be accessible to absolute beginners, as well as to switches and primals and tops and mommies and daddies and bigs and masters and trainers and Goreans and heads-of-house and owners and label-defying powerplayers. (And don’t worry if you have no idea what any of those labels means – dominance has nothing to do with labels.) If you have an interest in the bedrock principles of inspiring, deepening, maintaining and enjoying control over a person who dearly, desperately wants you to control them, then this book is for you.

The Big Bang: A Guide to the New Sexual Universe


Emma Taylor - 2003
    This encyclopedic guide is a sassy, hilarious, and fully-illustrated overview of original sin. Packed with useful information, The Big Bang covers all the bases, from safe sex and birth control to female ejaculation and bondage for beginners. Geared toward readers straight, gay or anywhere in between, this approachable guide offers practical, well-researched advice. It's the first sex manual people won't be embarrassed to own. Written in a brilliantly humorous and non-threatening voice. The Big Bang is the only sex manual readers will ever need.

How to be a Healthy and Happy Submissive


Kate Kinsey - 2014
    Whether you want to explore your own submissive fantasies, or you're just curious about what BDSM is really like, this book will answer all your questions, plus some you didn't know you had. Erotic author Kate Kinsey ("Red," and "The Totally Uncensored Kinky Adventures of Chloe St. Claire, Sex Slave") brings over a decade of experience as a submissive and kinky educator to this practical step-by-step guide to being a healthy and happy submissive. Topics covered include: the differences between dominants and masters, submissives and slaves, and tops and bottoms; the different dominant styles; the truth about "training" to be a submissive; how to find like-minded folks in your area; how to negotiate scenes and relationships; what to expect at your first dungeon party; why some people actually enjoy pain; and the warning signs to look out for when talking to potential partners. "Kinsey has written a no-nonsense guide that thoroughly explains the various kinks and fetishes that come under the umbrella of BDSM. Most importantly, she emphasizes the importance of protecting yourself along the way with knowledge, friends and self-awareness." "This is not fiction, but reality. Kate Kinsey has the experience to tell it like it is, not the way some vanilla writer imagines it to be."

BDSM 101


Reverend Jen - 2013
    Jen has been coaching her readers on all sex-related matters through her articles in Penthouse and posts on Nerve, an online magazine. A self-proclaimed authority on the subject of sex (and specifically BDSM), Jen spent her early twenties working as a professional submissive at a swanky Manhattan dungeon before becoming a sex surrogate for a renowned therapist.In BDSM 101, Jen shares rare insight into this oftentimes misunderstood world. Practical instructions are given on:Safety and communicationBondage, spanking, floggingFetishes, humiliation, dirty talkAnd more!Included are steamy, sometimes ridiculous anecdotes from Jen’s past, interviews with her wacky artist friends, and basic illustrations. According to the author, “This book is what would happen if Marquis de Sade, Andy Warhol, and Dorothy Parker got together and made a nymphomaniac Bride of Frankenstein.”Useful, entertaining, and written with rare candor, BDSM 101 is a book that can offer spark to the fires of love in any relationship.

Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land


Douglas Kent - 2010
    Shibari is the Japanese-inspired art of tying a subject to not only immobilize them, but to do so elegantly and beautifully - creating an intimate and erotic experience for both the subject and the person tying. Adopted by rope enthusiasts all over the world, shibari (literally "to tie" or "to bind") is a cornerstone of erotic rope art and the subject of captivating performances and photographs. However, in-depth resources for learning the art are difficult to obtain, making shibari intimidating, obscure and difficult to master... Until now. The Complete Shibari series is the most complete and accessible English-language guide to shibari ever published. Author Douglas Kent strips away shibari's mystery and reveals how to create visually stunning compositions with rope and the human form... in your own home or play space. About Complete Shibari: Land Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land explores the essential ground-based ties and forms of shibari. With short, clear explanations and over 450 lavish, step-by-step illustrations and photographs, Douglas Kent introduces the basic "building blocks", then guides you in applying those basics to create a full range of beautiful and exciting ground-based shibari ties. This is not a "knot book" - if you can tie an overhand knot, you already know half the knots you'll ever need. This practical, hands-on guide to doing shibari covers everything from choosing and preparing rope, to scene safety, to the techniques... and the reasoning behind the techniques. Complete Shibari Volume 1: Land is a ground-breaking, must-have book for anyone interested in playing with rope. Buy it today and tie tonight!

The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Passion and Fulfillment


Jack Morin - 1995
    Nationally known sex therapist Dr. Jack Morin offers a bold new perspective that celebrates the joys of Eros without denying its risks.Based on an in-depth analysis of over 1,000 provocative stories of peak sexual experiences, The Erotic Mind offers clear, accessible guidance on how anyone can utilize his or her own peak encounters and fantasies as powerful tools of self-discovery.The Erotic Mind explains the many paradoxes of erotic life, such as: why we're most excited when we must overcome obstacles; how anxiety, guilt, and anger—generally thought to have a negative impact on sexual arousal—often turn out to be aphrodisiacs; how we use unresolved issues from our early lives to intensify passion; and why the best sex is dynamic and unpredictable, rather than static and safe.These and other insights, combined with concrete suggestions for increasing our enjoyment, overcoming our problems, and revitalizing our relationships, will change forever the way we think about our eroticism.

The Sexual State of the Union


Susie Bright - 1997
    Every erection has Pinocchio written up and down its length—yes, everybody wants to be REAL, a real boy, an honest woman, unafraid and upright—but then desire, the ultimate honesty, does us in. Desire doesn't give a whit about shame. Our secrets, our exaggerations and distractions, it's all just a lot of twisting in the wind as far as sex is concerned—what we want WILL come out. "Is our sexuality a basic, good, and precious thing that somehow became terribly misunderstood? Or is there something really evil out there in Sex Land that attaches itself to our libidos and is only held back by vigilance and caution?" asks Susie Bright in her bestselling book The Sexual State of the Union. Bright pushes the borders of propriety until they blur and become irrelevant in the face of our inherent need to touch and be touched. With candor and passion, Susie Bright proves that sexual knowledge can indeed be salvation and inspiration.

Leather Folk


Mark Thompson - 1991
    This groundbreaking anthology looks at the history of the leather and S/M movement.

My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up


Stephen Elliott - 2006
    My Girlfriend Comes to the City and Beats Me Up follows the narrator on a dizzying ride through past and present, from a group home for troubled adolescents in Chicago where he loses his virginity to shooting galleries and homeless encampments in San Francisco where he searches for deeper and darker thrills. In “Other Desires,” a flood of unsettling memories backgrounds the narrator’s involvement with a loose-knit family of lost souls. “Tears” explores the disturbing complexities of an S/M Internet hook-up. Several of the stories feature the enigmatic Eden, the narrator’s polyamorous mistress. With My Girlfriend, Elliott confirms his status as a major young writer of a kind of literary fiction that recalls the work of Genet and Bukowski.

Yes, Ma'am


Rachel Kramer BusselMichael Hemmingson - 2008
    In this collection, naughty boys get what's coming to them from wicked wives and stern mistresses. From a naked party plaything at the mercy of a room full of powerful women to being tied up and shown how to truly please the woman of your dreams, these men get fully teased and taunted, receiving the punishments they truly deserve and crave. Featuring stories from Alison Tyler, Debra Hyde and Ellen Tevault, Yes, Ma'am gives a whole new meaning to "mean girls," one that will be sure to delight and arouse you.