Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    The column “Offbase,” formally known as “Humor in Uniform,” has appeared in the Reader's Digest magazine for over half a century, and has published more than 3,500 jokes, quotes, and funny stories from the more than a million readers who have submitted them. This volume—from the world’s #1 source of humor—contains laugh-out-loud gems from one of Reader’s Digest’s most popular columns. This side-splitting collection of humor delivers hundreds of the best jokes, anecdotes, cartoons, quotes, and stories from men and women in the armed forces or their families proving that life is often funnier than fiction. Such as:·         From a Family Member: My son regaled me with stories about how they do things in the modern Air Force. Being an old Air Force man myself, I scoffed at their complicated methods. “That’s not the way we did it when I was in the service,” I said. “Yeah,” he shot back. “But when you were in, there were only two pilots, Wilbur and Orville”       — Ted Shirley·         From an Army Soldier: Our Army Unit was overseas conducting maneuvers with the Marines. On shift one night, a Marine asked my sergeant where he was from. “I’m originally from Central America,” said the sergeant. “Oh, yeah?” asked the Marine. “Kansas?”— David Denbek·         From Iraq: At the end of a tough day in Iraq, my daughter, the airman, collapsed onto the first seat in the transport truck, forcing everyone else to climb over her. “Private!” hollered the sergeant, “Skinny girls get in the back so when we men get on with our weapons and equipment, we don’t have to climb over you. Have I made myself clear?” Suddenly my daughter perked up, “Do you really think I’m skinny?”—    Margaret Culbertson·         About the Military: A soldier stationed at Fort Bliss, Texas, actually got a letter addressed to “Fort Ignorance.” “How did you know where to deliver it?” she asked the mailman. “We were stumped at first,” he admitted. “But then I remembered, ignorance is bliss.”— William De Graf For yourself, a friend, or family member—what could be better than the gift of laughter?

    The book encompasses the time before enlistment, Boot Camp, Infantry Training Regiment, Artillery School, and his time in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive of 1968. Incorporated with actual pictures from the times and places remembered in this book, it gives the reader a mix of emotions felt during the good times and bad, of combat and of non-combat, with the intent of giving the lay person a more complete picture of the Vietnam experience. After serving in Vietnam, Dr. Cowart earned a B.A. degree in Zoology from the University of Washington, and a Doctor of Dental Surgery degree from the UW School of Dentistry He currently lives, writes, and maintains a general dental practice in Kent, Washington. Visit the "BLOOD ON RED DIRT" Facebook page to see all the pictures in this book in full size and living color.

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

     As seen on ESPN's Cold Pizza Fantasy football -- one of America's most popular, and profitable, virtual pastimes -- became a way of life for sports humorist and author Mark St. Amant. Utterly fed up with never having won his league championship, St. Amant abandoned a successful advertising career to make fantasy football his full-time job, embarking on a sprawling reconnaissance mission to discover what really makes this game, and its 20 million players, tick. Committed is the result of St. Amant's ranting, relentless, and strategic pursuit of his own obsession. In this wickedly funny and deeply informative work, St. Amant offers readers an all-access sideline pass to his wild, unprecedented fantasy football season, and to the hobby itself. From its humble beginnings in a New York hotel in 1962 to a multibillion-dollar business today, from local and online leagues to high-stakes, cutthroat Las Vegas competitions, St. Amant lays bare the facts, figures, and fanaticism of fantasy football in all its multidimensional glory.

    From being the saviour of a man’s anus to being mistaken for the milkman, Tom describes the complexity and absurdity of today’s medical practice with humour and aplomb. Tom is a junior doctor working in the National Health Service. Tom Parsons is a pseudonym. * Amazon/Kindle/Fiction/Medical, March 2018

    Army. He did so at a time when the country was pro-Vietnam and serving seemed an honorable thing to do. Little did he know that the tide would turn a mere six months later as drastically as it did. VIETNAM: THERE AND BACK is a candid account of the time when he and several other combat vets found themselves conducting operations in the jungles of Vietnam during and after the Tet Offensive. Purtell describes in gritty detail what it was like to live and fight with an infantry company only to return to anti-Vietnam sentiment so strong that he and his fellow veterans felt nobody cared about them or the sacrifices they made.

     When Derrick Wolf and Kent Campbell were wounded in battle, they thought the war was over for them. And while the war may have been done with them, the army was not. Of No Value is an unvarnished depiction of the absurdity of war and army life in the early 1970s. From the pitiful treatment received at the army's hospitals to the completion of their service, they were scorned and insulted by the military. The contempt continued at home, this time at the hands of their fellow Americans, who spat and called them "baby killers." Of No Value is a memoir spanning the experiences of two soldiers from the time of their combat injuries to their discharge. It not only captures the ludicrous machinations of the military but also depicts the colorful counterculture life of the United States in the early 70s. Both Wolf and Campbell are Bronze Star and Purple Heart recipients. Wolf is also the author of Boys for Men, a best-selling Vietnam memoir.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    The U.S. Navy’s state-of-the-art NR-1 nuclear powered submersible was the Cold War’s most closely guarded - and revolutionary - secret. In 1966, after the U.S. almost lost a hydrogen bomb off the coast of Spain, Admiral Hyman Rickover - father of the nuclear navy - outmaneuvered Congress and steamed full speed ahead on his brainchild: a spy mission and deep ocean recovery submarine with a miniature nuclear reactor that could navigate the ocean floor for weeks at a time. But operating at such depths would also cut off the crew should rescue become necessary. Now, an original crew member revels the true story of America’s Secret Submarine - the triumphs and near disasters of the super-secret NR-1 are told through first person accounts by those who alternately suffered through, and exalted in, its construction and initial operation - and then dared go where no men had gone before.

    Threatened by the draft in the late sixties, he enlisted in the Army to avoid becoming a grunt, yet ended up one anyway. He endured a grueling war in Vietnam and then returned to a country too angry to care. While his journey took unexpected turns, his choices got him there, so he did his best to react positively and keep moving forward.Udden delivers his story in a comfortable, friendly style. He conveys the experiences of basic training, advanced infantry training, and what it was like to live, work, guard, patrol, and fight in the jungle. The reader will feel the adrenalin rush of a firefight, the thrill of a wild ride dangling below a helicopter, and the humor in celebrating his 21st birthday on a firebase.Through his words and personal photographs, you will live through his journey exactly as he experienced it.

    It is the follow-up book to Police, Crime & 999, a book which still remains hugely popular today, with over 250 5-star Amazon reviews, and which garnered positive feedback from a number of national publications:‘Everything is included in this warts-and-all account. Very funny’ The Sun‘A treasure trove of a book – a wonderfully informative and addictive read, full of belly laughs’ The Non-Fiction Book ClubWARNING: Contains Humour & Traces of Nuts

    As seen on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno (twice!) as well as 2 dozen other TV programs, Brian's now the host of the popular online series "Scam School," (downloaded over 1 million times a month, and named by iTunes as a "top video podcast" of 2008 and 2009). ...And THIS is the book that started it all.With 57 killer tricks (and 8 bonus scams), any one of these tricks could win you the cost of a free drink or more... and yet your investment will be LESS THAN 2 CENTS PER TRICK!Short enough to digest in an evening, yet powerful enough to score you free drinks for the rest of your life... "Cheats, Cons, Swindles and Tricks" could be the single best investment of 99 cents you'll ever make.

    In this book, Grizzard turns his attention to his mother, and to all mothers, casting a loving, comic eye toward the most important and defining relationship of all.

    Here is Erma Bombeck, laughing her way through childhood, marriage, motherhood, and celebrity status, even keeping her sense of humor as she battled terminal illness.