Note: These texting fails contain profanity, not for children.When are people going to learn that autocorrect can't be trusted? With FAILS like these, we actually hope that's not for a long time.This book complies 101 of the funniest, most viral and cringeworthy autocorrect screenshots to date.Guaranteed to put you on the floor laughing!

    Heading towards a half-remembered cave on the Pacific coast where her younger, more adventurous self once stayed, she recalls adventures in Sumatra, the Yukon and many places in between—and wonders what compels her to keep moving through life while everyone else has found a place to belong.

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

    Then he caught a group of travellers stealing from his warehouse. A car chase, petrol bombing and court case later, and everything had changed.A marked man, Mike was forced to leave everything behind and move to the Peak District for a fresh start. But his old life was never far behind and when he fell for Rhoda, a Romany Gypsy, kin to the very people he was hiding from, he knew he wouldn't be safe for much longer . . .The Gypsy Code is a story of secret identity, revenge and forbidden love that's perfect for fans of Running with the Firm, Undercover and Soldier Spy.

      This book will teach me how to train with my pain, push with my prayers and conquer what’s trying to conquer me.  SUMMARY: This book isn’t about winning pretty. Rather, it will show you how to punch through your pain, deliver a fatal blow to the enemy, possess all God has for you, and experience ferocious victory. The devil is striking from every side and it’s not because he wants to distract you or ruin your day—he wants to take you out! He’ll do anything to break you down. But you can flip the script and dismantle him instead!  When the enemy attacks, the fight gets ugly.  Your prayers and your faith have to get intense. You have to remove the makeup, take off the tie, and get down in the dirt of life to destroy the work of the devil.   In Ferocious Warrior, Cora Jakes Coleman shows you how to win. Sharing keys that helped her through personal battles with depression, insecurity, infertility, and loss, Cora offers strategies to help identify the tactics and agenda of the enemy, and the obstacles to your breakthrough.  Ferocious warriors don’t shrink back from the enemy—they go into his camp and take back everything he stole from them.   The book also reveals: How to use the weapons of warfare that are already at your disposal How to implement the five principles of prayer How to let your pain push you to your next level How to think like a warrior and win even the toughest fights  FEATURES AND BENEFITS: Prayers and affirmations to help readers activate their faith How to experience and maintain deliverance Guidance to develop the lifestyle of a warrior and sharpen the weapons that bring victory

    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

    Some only did it in college, or got out by sheer determination, good luck . . . or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a restaurant packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he’s vented his frustrations in the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter. A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales—about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.

    After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.

    "Don’t think about him. Don’t talk about him. And, whatever you do, don’t write about him. If you do, he might come back," they told me. Ghost hunting isn't always fun and games. Sometimes, it can be deadly. Paranormal investigator, Joni Mayhan, found out the hard way when she met The Soul Collector, and had to fight for her life. True story. Contains photos and links to Joni's EVPs

    

    Giles, acclaimed filmmaker Richard Dutcher, and bestselling author Jaron Briggs, Asylum Archives is prescribed as a few milligrams of insanity!

    Help, Thanks, Wow ...in 30 minutes is the concise guide to quickly understanding the three simple prayers outlined in Anne Lamott's best-selling book, Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers. Understand the thought-provoking ideas behind Help, Thanks, Wow:* Learn what it means to pray, and the life-opening power of prayer, independent of your faith or lack thereof.* Inspirational stories convey Lamott's personal insight and exploration of faith.* Discover how the three essential prayers help us endure difficult times and continue to move ahead. In Help, Thanks, Wow, best-selling author Anne Lamott demystifies prayer, declaring that there are no rules--a higher power can be called anything, and people can believe in any religion they'd like (or none at all) and still pray.Prayer can take countless forms, but Lamott believes that it all boils down to three essential prayers: Help, Thanks, and Wow. Help is an admission of powerlessness and a plea for assistance; Thanks is a cry of gratitude; and Wow is the experience of awe.A thought-provoking spirituality guide for people of all faiths and creeds, Help, Thanks, Wow examines the importance of the three prayers vital to enduring hardship and experiencing a transformative sense of gratitude and wonder in the world.Help, Thanks, Wow ...in 30 minutesDesigned for those whose desire to enrich their faith exceeds the time they have available, Help, Thanks, Wow ...in 30 minutes enable readers to rapidly understand the essential ideas behind critically acclaimed books. With a condensed format and chapter-by-chapter synopsis that highlights key insights, this summary helps readers easily devote time to growing their faith.

    Carson’s philosophies of serving one’s country, becoming role models for people with disadvantaged backgrounds, using the talents God has given you, embracing what success really is, and believing, youths and adults alike, that with hard work and perseverance, “you can do it.” And on May 4, 2015, Dr. Ben Carson declared himself a candidate for the Presidency of the United States of America.