It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Humanity has been enslaved or scattered to the galaxy, hiding out in lonely systems far from home. A cry for help from an enemy ship prompts action from an unlikely group of refugees and a lone fighter pilot. This begins an epic adventure that will unite the remains of the human race and take them into the depths of the darkest soul.The battle for survival is underway and the War for Terra has finally begun.

    Despite secreting himself on the edge of the Wild, Wistril finds himself battling an army of relentless mercenaries while the entire population of the nearest village takes refuge in his home. Even Kern, Wistril's long-suffering, sharp-tongued apprentice, isn't sure whether the army or the houseguests will prove to be Wistril's undoing!Wistril Afloat --Wistril doesn't believe in lake monsters -- until they invade the lake that just happens to provide Wistril's favorite fish dinners. Faced with the choice of adjusting his menus or daring the wilderness around Lake Ovinshoon, Wistril and Kern soon have bigger problems than mere lake monsters on their hands. Because while Wistril wishes only to study the beasts, others wish to hunt them and skin them. Will Wistril's peaceful White Chair magics prevail against a ruthless band of wyvern-hunters who have only profit on their minds?Wistril Betrothed --If ever there was a determined bachelor, thought Kern, his name was surely Wistril.So when Wistril's wife-to-be shows up with a pursuing army on her heels, life at Castle Kauph is turned upside down. And when another suitor for Lady Emmerbee's hand arrives, with a dark and menacing wizard of his own in tow, it's up to Kern and the rest of Castle Kauph to get Wistril wed without losing his head!White Chair wizard, gourmand, beer fancier, scholar. Wistril of Kauph is all that, and more. Join him for a taste of classic high fantasy well seasoned with humor and a dash of adventure!

    And none have more dangerous assignments than those from the P.I.G. and R.O.B.O.T. battalions!The time has come when the Patrol is spread too thinly around the galaxy. New planets are constantly being colonized, bringing fresh problems of law-enforcement and defence against alien attack.So new solutions are sought: like the setting-up of special units called P.I.G. and R.O.B.O.T. - units that are self supporting and equipped to handle even the most dangerous situations.These two stories show Harry Harison at his best: fast, inventive and exciting.

      It is also full of useful things that will help organize your year, including dates, numbers, and pictures of dogs.

    

    It finally comes to rest in the pasture of an ordinary couple's country home. Immediately upon going inside, they are placed in irrevocable, sole command by the ship's computer. How Dan and Stacy Saddler handle the enormous military, political and religious pressure of choosing a crew and taking the ship back through the enigmatic warp point makes this one of Darrell Bain's most exciting novels.

    But when news comes of an alien invasion of Earth--the first in human history--they are thrown together on a deadly, unauthorized mission to face an unknown enemy. What they find is beyond their wildest expectations. A discovery that changes everything they thought they knew...about their hostile adversaries--and mankind. With a trail of riddles and mysteries, epic space battles and journeys to the far corners of Earth, this "Star Trek meets Indiana Jones" Sci-Fi Adventure from Author Edward Miller should appeal to fans of Sci-Fi Space Operas and Young Adult Science Fiction. Edward Miller's debut novel with co-author J.B. Manas, The Kronos Interference, was named to Kirkus reviews best of 2012 and received a Starred Review from Kirkus, which called it "Impressively original" and a "Tour De Force."

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    This plant is used exclusively to comply with the extremely complicated ritual laws set down in the Tablets of Enku.

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    When he wasn’t burning down parts of Berkeley or springing girlfriends from homes for unwed mothers, he was dodging gendarmes in Paris. So what sort of parent would that most outrageous of teenagers make? In this new installment of the acclaimed Twisp saga, 40-something Nick faces the daily trials of dealing with his own teenage son. When a move to California threatens to disrupt young Scott Twisp’s life, he reacts in the true Twispian spirit. Follow this wannabe “wanton lothario” as he conspires to meet the challenges of girls, sex, work, parents, TV stardom, and more. Also returning to complicate matters are Sheeni, Trent, Apurva, Vijay, Jake, Veeva, Uma, and the rest of C.D. Payne’s huge and colorful cast. Enjoy all seven books in the monumental Twisp saga: over a half-million words of hilarious mayhem! Note: Each book in the Nick Twisp series is a self-contained novel that can be enjoyed on its own. Familiarity with the other titles is not required.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School. These are the things I learned:Share everything.Play fair.Don't hit people.Put things back where you found them.Clean up your own mess.Don't take things that aren't yours.Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.Wash your hands before you eat.Flush.Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.Live a balanced life.Take a nap every afternoon.When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.From the Trade Paperback edition.

     OB staff members write in with their strangest encounters, medics recall embarrassing moments, and nurses vent about frustrating incidents. We learn about even more odd things patients have gotten stuck in their orifices, and we share the laughter and confusion with the healthcare professionals who treated these patients. So, take this book to your nurses lounge to flip through while you're on break (WHAT BREAK?!), read it while you're staging, catch up on all the drama on your day off, or relive all the craziness while you're enjoying your retirement. You WILL laugh as you read firsthand accounts from healthcare professionals who share their experiences as a reminder that you are NOT alone, and you're not losing your mind!