Just One Night


C.A. Harms - 2021
    It doesn’t matter how hot she is or how many times he’s imagined her in a not-so-innocent way. Nope. Those visuals should always remain hidden deep down in a dark place.But of course, I just had to drink until I couldn’t see straight and screw everything up. Now, I know what you’re thinking, and I swear it wasn’t my fault. It was that damn tequila.I never expected to wake up naked only a few feet away from the woman I never should have touched. But man, reality had been so much better than any fantasy I’d ever had.But it all went downhill fast when she opened the door to leave and came face to face with none other than her brother, who is also one of my best friends.I’m a dead man, but Jade might actually be worth it.And to think, all it took to change everything was…Just One Night.

Final Arrangements: A Novel


Miles Keaton Andrew - 2002
    He decided right then, at the age of nine, what he wanted to be when he grew up...an undertaker. The day he turned twenty-one, Casey joined the ranks of Morton-Albright, a family owned and operated mortuary, in the small Florida town of Angel Shoals. Immediately, he felt right at home. He seems to have a gift for embalming. The Morton and Albright families welcome him like the family he never had. The quirky and mischievous Natalie Albright is the girl he's always dreamed of. And within the walls of Morton-Albright, Casey feels a reassuring presence that calms him, like nothing ever has before. But his happiness will be short-lived if the mortuary falls victim to a rapacious funeral-home giant. With family secrets being uncovered, contested wills, and rumors of illegal funeral practices circling, the lives entwined in this funeral home become filled with intrigue, deception, and, of course, death. Bringing abundant experience and a fresh wit to the page, Miles Keaton Andrew offers a clever, spirited, darkly humorous first novel, rich with dialogue and full of nuanced characters.

In the Loop (Hannah Montana)


Suzanne Harper - 2009
    So when she gets the chance to headline at the largest rodeo in the country down in Texas, she, Robby, Jackson, Lilly, and Oliver are on a plane quicker than you can say "yeehaw." But Miley soon discovers that everything--including the drama--is bigger in Texas. As it turns out, headlining a week long rodeo involves a lot more than she bargained for. Hannah must judge the Miss Rodeo contest and kick off the festivities by roping a cow! The funny thing? Miley is actually loving it! She feels more at home than she has since becoming a huge pop star! But not everyone is having as much fun. It turns out Lilly (in disguise as the always supportive Lola Luftnagle) is a bit horse shy--not good when Hannah and Lola have been asked to be part of a horse parade! Meanwhile, Oliver and Jackson find trouble of their own when they meet a cowgirl who is as tough as her spurs.And between the roping and the singing, the bucking and the rocking, Miley runs into someone from her past--a girl who used to be Miley's hero back in Tennesee. It seems Miley isn't the only one who has changed. As Miley finds out more and more about her old friend, she begins to wonder if the cost of stardom is too high. Will she trade in her microphone for chaps and return to her roots? Or will she find a way to bring a touch of Southern comfort to her Malibu life?

The Bitchy Waiter: Tales, Tips & Trials from a Life in Food Service


Darron Cardosa - 2016
    Some only did it in college, or got out by sheer determination, good luck . . . or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole server in a restaurant packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back. His career began at a Texas steakhouse in 1984, and since 2008 he’s vented his frustrations in the popular blog The Bitchy Waiter. A snarky mix of David Sedaris, Anthony Bourdain, Erma Bombeck, and Mo Rocca, Cardosa distills 30 years of food service into dark, funny tales—about crazy customers, out-of-control egos, and what really goes on in that fancy restaurant—that anyone who worked in the industry will recognize and relate to.

All At Sea: One man. One bathtub. One very bad idea.


Tim FitzHigham - 2009
    The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

Lighter Shades of Grey


Cassandra Parkin - 2012
    Why, specifically?”“I like to build things.”As of the time of writing, more than ten million copies of E L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” have been sold worldwide. Whether you find this notion inspiring or terrifying, there’s no escaping the fact that, as literary events go, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is at least...significant. And books that are...significant...deserve to be subjected to thorough critical and textual analysis. By taking it apart into teeny tiny small pieces and put those pieces under a spiteful and mean-spirited microscope, we may all just learn something about the elusive nature of the bestseller,“Lighter Shades of Grey” is a chapter-by-chapter dissection of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, cataloguing unusual leaps of logic, surprising deductions, exciting exchanges of dialogue, recurrent motifs and stand-out moments, that will allow you to better appreciate / enjoyably ruin for others the “Fifty Shades” experience. It also provides definitive answers to questions such as “How often does Ana say ’oh my’?”, “How often do people’s mouths fall open in surprise?” and “Is Christian Grey a diagnosable psychopath?”Building on the viral hit blog-entry, “Fifty Things That Annoy Me About Fifty Shades Of Grey”, “Lighter Shades of Grey” is the perfect snarky companion to this year’s most inexplicable blockbuster. (Approximately 31,000 words; 30 pictures)

The Monks of Appalling Dreadfulness


John Connolly - 2020
    

Other Kinds


Dylan Nice - 2012
    They are stories about the woods, houses hidden in the gaps between mountains. Behind them, the skeletons of old and powerful machines rust into the slate and leaves. Water red with iron leeches from the empty mines and pools near a stone foundation. The boy there plays in the bones because he is a child and this will be his childhood. He watches while winter comes falling slowly down over the road. Sometimes he remembers a girl, her hair and the perfume she wore. These are stories about her and where she might have gone. He waits for sleep because in the next story he will leave. The boy watches an airplane blink red past his window. From here, you can't hear its violence.

Temporary Insanity


Jay Johnstone - 1985
    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

Counting Blessings-Wit and Wisdom for Women


Kerry Blair - 2008
    Like a wise and witty friend, Kerry leads you through the rough spots of life by poking gentle fun in such a vivacious way that you’ll be smiling at your own foibles. You’ll laugh out loud—and be moved to tears—as you discover some of life’s greatest truths hidden within these simple pages. Reclaim your sanity and enrich your soul with this humorous and poignant anthology that celebrates the joy of being alive and shows how greatly each of us is blessed."

Magnificent Bastards


Rich Hall - 2008
    Meet the man who vacuums bewildered prairie dogs out of their burrows; a frustrated werewolf who roams the streets of Soho getting mistaken for Brian Blessed; a smug carbon-neutral eco-couple; a teenage girl who invites 45,000 MySpace friends to a house party; the author of a business book entitled Highly Successful Secrets to Standing on a Corner Holding Up a Golf Sale Sign and a man whose attempts to teach softball to a group of indolent British advertising executives sparks an international crisis.

A Thousand Clowns


Herb Gardner - 1962
    Tired of writing cheap comedy gags for "Chipper the Chipmunk," a children's television star, Murray finds himself unemployed with plenty of free time with which to pursue his...pursuits. Lectured by his conventional brother Arnold and hounded by "the system," Murray is paid a visit by bickering, uptight social workers, Sandra and Albert, and finds himself solving their problems as well as most of his own."Would be a standout comedy in any season. Filled with laughter and warmth and sweetness and inspired daffiness. One of the quintessential New York comedies."-New York Daily News "An extraordinarily funny play with some brilliantly offbeat lines."-The New York Post

Fuck Yeah Menswear: Bespoke Knowledge for the Crispy Gentleman


Kevin Burrows - 2012
     You’re about to begin a journey that will end in only one way—with you standing naked in an abandoned ravine watching as your old wardrobe slowly burns. Let this be your illustrated Iliad for dressing better. Don’t sleep. Read Fuck Yeah Menswear. Refer to it. Cite it in your dissertation. Owning this book sends a very clear message to your peers, coworkers, and loved ones: “I’m trill as fuck.”

Violet Bent Backwards Over the Grass


Lana Del Rey - 2020
    Lana’s music and lyrics evoke images of a saturated Kodachrome photograph, so it would stand to reason that she’d now add “poet” to her artist’s kit. Even without music, her words work their way around you, pulling you into a world that’s not unlike a David Lynch movie.[from barnesandnoble.com]

I GOT YOU: Restoring Confidence in Love and Relationships


Rob Hill Sr. - 2013
    It’s about you looking at yourself and finding ways to learn how to grow as an individual. I cannot tell you every single step you should take to get you to where you are trying to go in life. But what I can do is make sure you have enough confidence to trust your own judgments, regardless of past mistakes. I want you to understand that it’s okay to be exactly where you are right now, whether you are single or in a relationship. Appreciate where your journey is taking you, but be able to identify areas that need to change. I want you to read this book and have a better understanding of the present. I want you to know that trying to get it right is a constant process. We never arrive at a place of knowing it all. For as long as we are alive, we are challenged to grow, learn, evolve, and mature. Love is a decision, not a destination. It’s not something you stumble upon. You must choose to walk in it, give to it, and become it. Each of us travels a different path to find the love we are searching for. Some find what they are looking for instantly, while others must jump over a few hurdles before realizing they have finally found something special. In essence, we are all just working towards what we believe we deserve— our fair chance at love and happiness.