To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

    The first change will be in his diet, and from now on puss is obliged to eat vegetables instead of his beloved cat food. But things get complicated and, unwittingly, Marmalade ends up in India in the Ashram of a well-known guru together with his companion in misfortune Fluffy the pussycat. After many adventures they return to their native land after being abducted by a UFO and end up triumphing on the small screen, because, as the authors conclude, "If you like happy endings, this is the book for you"

    The abuse she’s experienced from her mother and step dad has left her sheltered and guarded. Her only motivation is to one day escape the darkness that surrounds her. Her vision is clear: work hard, get an education and walk away from the house of horrors for good. When the opportunity to get more money comes her way she jumps at the chance. Money is now her goal and the path she’s taking to get it will lead her down the road to an unexpected future. 
The Hampton brothers Za’Shon ‘Fire’, Jaivon, and Tyree are running things in Atlanta. Of the trio, Fire’s the most arrogant and the only one willing to do anything to take his family to the next level. His focus was on one thing building his empire and making more money. That is until he meets Lacye. He falls fast for her. 
Lacye has never met someone like Fire. His arrogance and bluntness takes her by surprise. But it’s also the thing she falls in love with. He believes he’s found the perfect woman who’s beautiful, smart, and innocent. Their romance goes fast but the secrets she’s been holding comes out. His lifestyle and her secrets crash together making the perfect storm. It leaves a path of destruction and hurt. They both find themselves losing everything they’ve worked so hard for. Za’Shon won’t allow his world to come crashing down and he won’t lose Lacye. The savage in him won’t let her go but the cost of loving her threatens to bring down him and his brothers. His recklessness creates havoc and starts a war that threatens to take everything and everyone away from him. But that’s what happens when you set Fire to Lacye.

    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean knock knock jokes for children. Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime Members can read this book for FREE! Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with these funny knock knock jokes. With silly jokes and hilarious laughs, beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 101+ funny knock knock jokes Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny jokes from this book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Icy!Icy who?Icy you! Open this door! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Alfred!Alfred who?Alfred the dark! Open the door! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been waiting out here? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Athena!Athena who?Athena funny movie the other day! LOL! Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This funny joke book is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie Lightning Arnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get these funny jokes! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny jokes for kids, jokes, knock knock, knock knock joke, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, knock knock jokes for children, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, joke books, books, jokes book, ebook, kids books, funny, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, joke books, books for kids, childrens book, kids books, funny, funny jokes, funny book, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, funny free joke book, book about food, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, book for kids, humor, early reader, beginning reader, preschool, ages 5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, laughin

    Folks tend to expect a little more action in the romance department from a former star linebacker and an ex party machine. But a decade in the Special Forces followed by career in fire rescue operations hasn’t left him much time to play Romeo. So he does the unthinkable — he hires an actress to pose as his bride for the weekend. Serena Chandler is supposed to be working on her doctoral dissertation, not filling in for her bestie’s slightly scandalous rent-a-date service. However, her short-term “husband” seems like a perfect gentleman, so she relaxes and decides to enjoy their weekend trip together while keeping things strictly professional between them. He’s made it clear he’s a no strings attached kind of man, and that’s fine with her. Their carefully negotiated agreement works right up to the point when a fire breaks out at his alma mater, and she becomes trapped in the gym. Watching the ripped and ready Ransom take charge in a daring rescue operation, however, makes all her best-laid plans go up in smoke. She finds herself scheming with her Mensa-level I.Q. for a way to turn their fake marriage into a real one. If they survive the fire, of course! Step into the world of Disaster City Search and Rescue, where officers, firefighters, military, and medics, train and work alongside each other with the dogs they love, to do the most dangerous job of all — help lost and injured victims find their way home.

    The north of the country is wild and lawless, plagued by bands of outlaws and robbers and broken men. There is little justice and less order, and the King's officers struggle to impose their royal master's law.Book One of Robyn Hode tells the story of Robert Hode, a yeoman farmer and petty thief, forced to flee into the forests of Yorkshire after defending his home and family against the malice of Sir Gui de Gisburne. Hunted like an animal through the woods, he falls into the company of Hobbe of Wetherby, a notorious murderer and the most wanted felon in the north. Robert must rely on his all his courage and skill to survive and avoid ending as crowbait on the gallows.Mingling fact with fiction, and drawing heavily on surviving contemporary records, "Robyn Hode" is a tough and unsqueamish tale and like no other version of the ancient legend.

    The struggle is real. Anyone who is a cat lover knows that the cat rules the roost, and that certainly doesn’t change at bedtime. You might be ready to sleep, but you can bet that kitty is ready for just about anything but some shut-eye. Release your frustrations with a good laugh as you read along with Rosa and her struggle to get her cat to Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep! Stop Meowing and Go the F*ck to Sleep is a funny bedtime book for all the desperate cat parents out there. If you have experienced the nightmare of having a kitty who won’t let you have a good night’s sleep, this is the book for you. It’s the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers who appreciate hilarious insights into the feline nature.

    James (AKA manners columnist Miss Prim & Proper) heads to Sinful, Louisiana to stay with her frail, elderly great-aunt Ida Belle, a woman she's never met. What better place to hide than a sleepy little southern bayou town where nothing ever happens? But when the bullets start to fly, she soon discovers that her aunt Ida Belle and friends are anything but feeble, and that Sinful is anything but quiet. When the corpse of a scorned suitor goes missing, Stephanie decides her best hope to escape a murder rap is to join forces with Swamp Team Three.

    One of her debts is with the owner of a landscaping company. Could she pay him back in services? He seems nice enough...Excerpt:As soon as Jeff walked into his office, he knew something was amiss because it was Monday morning and Todd and Alan were all smiles. When he stepped in, Mitch seemed to come out of nowhere, slapping him on the back and telling him what a glorious Monday morning it was.In his seven years working with Todd and Alan, Jeff had never seen them smile; he didn’t even know they could smile. And as for Mitch ... he must have smelled too many of those weeds they were taking out of their clients’ yards.Completely dumbfounded, he turned the corner into his office and immediately realized it wasn't weeds or weed. The reason behind the smiles on and the cheery disposition of these clowns on this glorious Monday morning took another shape altogether.Stumbling into his office after being caught off guard and slapped on the back, he was immediately greeted by the most gorgeous, ass-thetically pleasing tush in tight jeans he had seen in a long, long time.He wondered what the face looked like and quickly decided it didn't really matter as he focused on her assets while she was bent down shuffling through some papers and totally unaware of the eight eyes boring through her. Four pair of eyes who should have been working on something, but couldn't disengage.The fact that she was rummaging through his papers didn’t immediately register.The woman turned around without looking up and carried a stack of papers to a file cabinet that had come with the building and had never been used. As far as he could recall, the cabinet had never been opened, and so far, had been used as a shelf for a silk plant his mother gave him as a gift when he started the business.To his dismay, the plant was now in the trash bin next to the file cabinet. That hurt.The woman was oblivious to the attention she was getting and after depositing the stack of papers in a neat pile in the top drawer of the file cabinet, she turned around to see a gaping Jeff standing before her.The first thing Jeff thought before hinging his jaw back into place was that the woman's front-side was just as pretty as her backside. She looked to be in her early thirties, and not only wore the jeans very well, but the white t-shirt she had on was filled out in all the right places and looked like an advertisement for trouble.She was petite, but disproportionately bigger where it really mattered. Her hair was tied with one of those elastic fabric bands his nieces always wore, and her eyes were as green as the silk plant had once been.Jeff gave himself a few seconds before giving in to reason. Regretfully, he decided it was time to put an end to his enjoyment - nice tush or not. After all, this was his office, he was the boss, and he had no idea what the hell was going on.“What did you do to my plant?!” was somehow the first thing that came out of his mouth. As if realizing how stupid his remark was, Jeff rather forcefully shoved his amused employees out of the way and out of his office.She looked down at the trash bin he was pointing to, and she suddenly seemed very confused when she looked up to see his expectant and slightly flushed face.“It’s dead. I don't think it can be saved, so I threw it out." Bending down to get it, she added, "I can put it back up he ..."Now that really hurt. Not to mention the fact that her bending down again completely disarmed him.“How can silk be dead?” he snapped.“That was silk?" she replied smiling. "Wow, I never met anyone who could kill silk before.”Jeff tried to ignore the chuckles coming from the room next door, but just as he was about to snap at them, the intruder...

    Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! Amazon Prime Members can borrow this book for FREE! 151+ funny yo momma jokes Hilarious yo momma insults and humor Hours of funny jokes and entertainment With this MASSIVE collection of funny yo momma jokes you can make everyone laugh! This ebook full of funny yo momma jokes is perfect for any occasion. You and your friends will laugh for hours at this funny joke book. Uses for funny jokes... Can aid in story-telling Great for conversation starters Improves conversation and social skills Can make others laugh, smile, and be more playful Can lighten tense moods and create rapport with others Are you looking for funny and hilarious yo momma jokes? Yo momma is so fat… she walked in front of the TV and I missed 3 shows! LOL Yo momma is so old… she knew Burger King while he was still a prince! HAHA Yo momma is so short… she can use a sock for a sleeping bag! Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so tall… she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon! HAHA Yo momma is so poor… she can't afford to pay attention! LOL Yo momma is so stupid… she sold her car for gas money. Funny Yo Momma Jokes! Yo momma is so ugly… that she scares blind people! HAHA Yo momma is so hairy… you almost died of rug burn at birth! LOL Yo momma is so bald… you can see what’s on her mind. This Hilarious Joke Book has 151+ Funny Jokes About... Yo momma is so fat… Yo momma is so skinny… Yo momma is so old… Yo momma is so short… Yo Momma is so tall… Yo momma is so poor… Yo momma is so stupid… Yo momma is so ugly… Yo momma is so hairy… Yo momma is so bald… Yo momma is so lazy… Other yo momma jokes… LOL Funny Jokes Club The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor.

    After abandoning his new home as a lost cause, he's caught up in the poker craze and moves to Atlantic City with a new dream of "playing poker for a living", but soon finds himself stuck in a dizzying spell of bad luck at the card tables. Or maybe he just sucks at poker, like everybody else. His money all gone, and finding that it's actually difficult to drink oneself to death at 1am, he's suddenly offered a chance to make his money back, and then some, by running an underground poker game in New York City. Once in New York, Tim finds himself on the road to recovery and making real money for the first time—but at what cost? We Run Bad offers an authentic and darkly comic look at underground poker culture, while serving up an indictment of post-recession America. Here, every game is rigged, and the only way to come out ahead is to be the one doing the rigging.

    A compulsive widowed blacksmith with two young daughters. Will they find a way to coexist or even better, forge a romantic relationship? Ada Pike longs to leave the life of a socialite and use her skills as a baker to love and nurture a family. A move to the country will perfectly suit her first steps into life on her own. Barrett Montgomery rejects the idea of a mail-order bride. What he needs is a housekeeper—someone he can fire if things don’t work out the way he likes. Can a matchmaking agency work miracles to bring two people with opposing goals together?

    Culling over 300 pages of some of today's most thrilling writers, The Best of 2.13.61 Publications hallmarks our company's ten year existence. Excerpts include new material from Henry Rollins and Hubert Selby, Jr, as well as excerpts from Henry Miller's love letters, Nick Zedd's hilarious nihilistic New York urban spelunkings, Ian Shoales' undeniably witty social commentaries and so much more.