Her paternal grandparents ran off and got married twenty-four hours after they met. Arden's parents did one better -- they married on a dare. Growing up in Arden's family, her dad ate nothing but sheet cake, while her mom was busy teaching a Cub Scout troop how to put on a Broadway musical. Oh, and she grew up in a small farm town called Little Compton, Rhode Island. Human population: 3,518. Cow population: 278. General Store: One. Stop Lights: Zero. At nineteen, Arden packed her bags with stars in her eyes and landed at ImprovOlympic in Chicago, where for the first time in her life she felt like she finally made sense. After drinking in as much comedy experience (and Sea Breezes) as she could, Arden got her big break when she was cast on an NBC sitcom. She moved to Los Angeles, knowing no one, and quickly realized she had no clue how to be a fully-grown human adult on her own.How do you date someone and not ruin it? How do you interact with people if you have a teeny bit of social anxiety? How do you stand up for yourself if you're a people pleaser? And most of all, how do you start to believe that you are enough?From small town Rhode Island to accidentally kicking Courteney Cox in the face on a soundstage in Hollywood, Arden's hilarious, inspiring, and honest story shows readers how one totally unconventional upbringing might be the very thing one needs to thrive, all while showing up as your most outrageous, authentic self. Shout out to Little Compton!! Woot Woot!!!

    I THINK.In Napalm & Silly Putty, George Carlin, the thinking person's comic, offers a hilarious new collection of razor-sharp observations on God, language, death, pets, driving, food, sports, airplanes, advertising, news, businessmen, and much, much more!* Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.* If people climb Mt. Everest because it's hard to do, why do they go up on the easy side?* With a little effort, oxen can be trained to genuflect and whistle softly in the moonlight.* How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on TV that its a spy satellite?* If people stand in a circle long enough, they will eventually begin to dance.* Guys don't seem to be called "Lefty" anymore.* No one quite knows what's next, but everybody does it.* I think it would be great if you could make a guy's head explode just by staring at him.* Am I the only one who's noticed that the Lone Ranger and Tonto never got their laundry done?You'll learn what Carlin thinks of saving the planet, his suggestion for revamping the prison system, and why he prays to Joe Pesci. Add to the mix "The Ten Most Embarrassing Songs of All Time," "The 20th Century Hostility Scoreboard," and "People I Can Do Without," and you have an irresistible assortment of quips, probes, thrusts, and verbal ordeals that are as smart as they are infectiously funny.

    It only hits the news in times of mishap but behind the scenes of this hugely popular and vibrant city are hundreds of ex-pats living the dream of a life in the sun.John Kean’s hilarious book, ‘Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda – True Stories from a Sharm el Sheikh Scuba Diving Instructor’ is an inside fly-on-the-wall look at the ups and downs of swapping the rat race for a life in Sharm el Sheikh. It is frank, honest and gripping in sometimes epic proportions, but the humor and magnetic appeal of Sharm el Sheikh and Egypt shines through every time in this beautifully written true story.Over a decade, this mild-mannered, ex-stockbroker has been chased by aggressive sharks, had a 737 airliner drop from the sky into the sea, broken four bones, been arrested three times and finally, blown up by terrorists. On the plus side, Sharm el Sheikh’s outstanding natural appeal, year round sun and amazingly talented and friendly community of Egyptian and ex-pat residents has made it a home from home, free of the stresses of everyday life in Europe.Unlike other fly on the wall or ‘inside’ books, John actually takes you along with him for the ride. His accounts are genuine, highly informative and very funny. Turning tragedy and mishap into humor is the book’s strength and you’ll find a laugh on nearly every page.The story is heavily upstaged by the comical antics of five, highly entertaining characters coming to terms with neutral buoyancy, hangovers and Egyptian taxi drivers. The legendary exploits of the latter are awarded an entire chapter where we’re introduced to, Airbag, Sharm el Sheikh’s worst driver and in contrast, Joseph, who takes up the offer of a job swap, gives John his taxi and becomes a scuba diver for the day!The most dramatic chapter of Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda is the vivid, minute-by-minute account of dive staff involvement during the Sharm bombings in July 2005. This rare civilian insight of a grand scale terrorist attack shows the human cost of those caught up and the tremendous resolve of unlikely rescuers in preventing further loss of life.Despite occasional tragedy, Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda is a positive book that will thrill and entertain, portray scuba diving as an engaging and enjoyable sport and show readers the brighter side of Sharm el Sheikh and Egyptian life. Anyone can read and enjoy this wonderfully funny story.

    But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. "I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey," Barry wrote. Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs, too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world's worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett.

    And The Book of Basketball is that book. Nowhere in the roundball universe will you find another single volume that covers as much in such depth as this wildly opinionated and thoroughly entertaining look at the past, present, and future of pro basketball.From the age-old question of who actually won the rivalry between Bill Russell and Wilt Chamberlain to the one about which team was truly the best of all time, Simmons opens–and then closes, once and for all–every major pro basketball debate. Then he takes it further by completely reevaluating not only how NBA Hall of Fame inductees should be chosen but how the institution must be reshaped from the ground up, the result being the Pyramid: Simmons’s one-of-a-kind, five-level shrine to the ninety-six greatest players in the history of pro basketball. And ultimately he takes fans to the heart of it all, as he uses a conversation with one NBA great to uncover that coveted thing: The Secret of Basketball.Comprehensive, authoritative, controversial, hilarious, and impossible to put down (even for Celtic-haters), The Book of Basketball offers every hardwood fan a courtside seat beside the game’s finest, funniest, and fiercest chronicler.* More to the point, he’s the only one crazy enough to try to pull it off.

    From Australia to Zambia and everywhere in between, these true stories are full of bust-a-gut laughter. Nothing helps a travel story more than something going wrong — the frustration, embarrassment, and inconvenience provide great material for stories once the anguish has faded. The adventurers here encounter just about every unexpected mishap imaginable.

    

    When a mysterious phantom enters his life, he sets himself on a quest to discover the true meaning of lummoxness, and what he learns along the way is both shocking and hilarious.Written with honesty and selfeffacing wry humor, Lummox is an exceptional story of manhood at a time of its redefinition, a book that will leave you laughing out loud in recognition and cheering for lummoxes everywhere.

    More than a decade's worth of essays by the Pulitzer Prize winning syndicated columnist capture the essence of big city American life, from neighborhood taverns to backroom politics.

    All the usual ingredients were there—well-worn gloves, freshly cut grass, and new uniforms. But the addition of a coach who was “new to the area” is what made this season truly unforgettable for young Andy.Baseball fans and both current and former Little Leaguers will love the funny story, the age-old baseball wisdom quoted from some of the game’s greatest players, and the vintage baseball photography.

    When she reaches her unplanned destination, self acceptance, you’ll shout hallelujah!

    The joys and travails of building a home in Baja California.

    It was a solid race, and he fought the good fight. Getting on the ballot as an independent -- a feat that had not been achieved in over a century -- was a victory in itself. And with ideas like "slots for tots" (legalized gambling to pay for education), the five Mexican generals plan (bribes to enforce border protection), and a firm stand against the "wussification" of the state, he would have done a helluva job.If that 2006 election was any indication -- and it was -- the political landscape in both Texas and the country at large needs a significant overhaul. The hucksters, the wealthy, and the twofaced rule; there is no room for Truth, and the little guys are quickly forgotten in all the muck. But Kinky, (briefly) down yet certainly not out, is still looking out for his fellow Americans, and he has much wisdom to impart.In this hilarious, thought-provoking manifesto, Kinky lays forth his ten commandments for improving the state of Texas and politics everywhere, and for restoring order, logic, decency, and above all a sense of humor back to this country. It's classic Kinky in a brand new way. And he might just have a point.

    He is best known not just for being funny, but for advocating truth over sensitivity and taking on the political establishment.Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit ABC-TV program Politically Incorrect, where he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that helped him to garner a loyal following, as well as a reputation for being a controversial bad boy.Bill Maher's popular new HBO television show, Real Time, has put Maher more front and center than ever before. Partic-ularly one regular segment on the show, entitled "New Rules," has been a hit with his ever-growing legion of fans. It is the part of the show during which Maher takes serious aim, bringing all of his intelligence, incisiveness, wit, and his signature exasperation to bear on topics ranging from cell phones ("I don't need my cell phone to take pictures or access the Internet. I just need it to make a phone call. From everywhere! Not just the places it likes!") to fast food ("No McDonald's in hospitals. I'm not kidding!) to the conservative agenda ("Stop claiming it's an agenda. It's not an agenda. It's a random collection of laws that your corporate donors paid you to pass.")His new book, the first since his bestselling When You Ride ALONE You Ride with bin Laden, brings these brilliantly conceived riffs and rants to the written page. Appropriately titled New Rules, the book will collect some of the best of the rules derived from previously written material and will also contain substantial new material, including some longer form "editorials"--of course with a twist and bite that only Bill Maher can deliver.

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”