Zach Galifianakis, start of The Hangover, will provide the foreword.Everyone knows the only thing more painful than relationships is not having them--or is it the other way around? Whatever, says author and cartoonist Nick Galifianakis. In his first book, If You Loved Me, You'd Think This Was Cute: Uncomfortably True Cartoons About You, he makes the case that either way, the only recourse is to embrace our frailties and laugh. Taken from Carolyn Hax's nationally syndicated advice column, this compilation spins the pain of dating, mothers-in-law, "beneficial" friends and more into ... the pain of self-recognition. The intricately drawn pen-and-ink panels and pointed captions explore some of life's most uncomfortable truths, exposing the humanity in our mistakes, the underbelly of our triumphs and the sheer heroism of trying and trying again.Throughout this character study of men and women (and the dogs who love them), Galifianakis mines our hopes and insecurities for a unifying truth: If we can't laugh at ourselves, he'll do it for us."Nick snuck me into my first comedy club when I was only a back-acned teenager. The back acne went away but the comedy stuck. I know that last sentence sounds like a lyric from a Joan Baez song, but trust me, it's original." --Zach Galifianakis, from the foreword"Nick's cartoons are funny, witty, and smart. But what makes them so special are how universal and true they are, making the laughs they bring all the more poignant. Relationships, in all their glory, have never been captured quite so succinctly and with such charm." --Amy B. Harris, writer/producer for Sex and the City"Nick Galifianakis understands relationships unbelievably well, for a guy. My guess is he actually menstruates." --Gene Weingarten, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner, Washington Post humor columnist

    A sudden rainstorm forces them to share an umbrella, they spend Christmas together, and New Year's fortunes spell it out, but they're not ready to make the leap. Meanwhile, does Yuto have a crush on Kurobe?

    Julia, the girl you went out with last night, has been TAKEN HOSTAGE. What will you do? Will you go to the police and ask for help? Will you burst into the hideout, killing everyone in sight, then tell Julia that she shouldn’t misinterpret this as some sort of big commitment? Or will you unplug your phone and just get really, really drunk? The choice is yours!You awake to the sound of the phone ringing.“Hello?”You hear a man’s voice. It is muffled. “We’ve got Julia.”“Wait, what do you mean?”“We have kidnapped your girlfriend. If you ever want to see her again---”“Whoa, she’s not my girlfriend,” you say. “I just met her. I mean, I had a good time with her and all, but I wanna take it slow with this one, I think.”“We understand,” the voice says. “But she’s new to the city, and presently, you’re all she has. Give us fifty thousand dollars by tomorrow or we’ll blow her head off.”If you want to go and ask your parents if you can borrow fifty thousand dollars, go to page 173.If you want to have sex with your ex-girlfriend, consider getting back together with her, then think better of it, go to page 183.BE VERY CAREFUL! You’re directing the story and the CHOICES you make can result in MURDER, GRADUATE SCHOOL ENROLLMENT, TORTURE, MARRIAGE, POST-APOCALYPTIC SLAVERY, UNWANTED PREGNANCY, even TEMPING! It’s YOUR STORY and YOUR LIFE. All you’ve got to do is decide which page you want to turn to. JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

    All 97 counties of it! Surely it can't be as bad as everyone tells him. After twenty years living abroad, he thinks the time is right to search his homeland for the best of British using new eyes, those of a foreign tourist, and in the only way he knows how – by bicycle. Armed with a list of recommendations gathered from friends and strangers alike and the most spontaneous of routes, he pedals 5,000 miles through damp English country lanes, soggy Welsh moorland and windswept Scottish mountains. He gets wet quite often. Following on from the success and irreverent style of both No Place Like Home, Thank God and Hungry for Miles, Steven seeks out the quirky in the people he meets, the places he visits and the food he eats. Can his initial store of positivity survive the journey, or will it be ground down by the traffic, the weather and his British, vegetable-free diet of beer, pies and pork scratchings? In this, Book 1, The Journey South, Steven travels from Merseyside to Warwickshire, through the whole of Wales, the West Country, the south coast and to London. Armed with a bag of googly eyes, he meets a poetry-prescribing nurse, stumbles across Hilda Ogden's lawnmower, has his footwear stolen by foxes, discovers some very special Mexican fleas, crashes the TARDIS and visits dozens of British capitals, including its infidelity capital, its boob job capital and its dogging capital. He experiences "real" Britain – the good and the bad – its Morris dancers, pie 'n' mash and the pinnacle of British culture, a good old-fashioned street fight. The concluding part, The Journey North, covering the east of England, Scotland and the north-west of England will be available in Summer 2017.

    Modelled on those catalogues that spill unwanted from your weekend newspapers, this is a celebration of triumphantly useless and inappropriate consumer choices. Illustrated throughout in the shape and style of catalogues that offer you the chance to buy machines that stamp your initials onto golf balls or allow you to warm you slippers electronically before putting them on. An array of toys, gadgets, and handy-helps, it's a modern vision of a consumer paradise gone very weird indeed.

    This new world revolves around defeating monsters and profiting on whatever they drop—food, money, items, etc. Unfortunately for Ryota, he has no skills to speak of...until he learns he has the ability to get rare drops! Suddenly his luck turns around...or does it?

    For want of a better term, let's call these people "women."Their urge is understandable. We've all had to take measures to accommodate men, because they are involved in nearly every aspect of modern life except maybe housework and they like to run things like corporate meetings and the planet. The only other alternative has been to try to avoid men altogether, which is pretty hard to do if you are interested in stuff like reproduction or having your oil changed.That's why How to Remodel a Man is so indispensable-it is a clear, step-by-step guide for anyone who wants to alter the character and behavior of a man, written by an actual man. Author W. Bruce Cameron provides startling insight into male pattern thinking, explaining why men can open a refrigerator and not see the mayonnaise, or how it is that they can throw dirty clothes at the hamper or in front of the hamper or even on top of the hamper and yet not seem capable of getting any of it in the hamper. Normally, changing a man has certain obstacles, including, but not limited to, the fact that it is impossible. But Cameron is able to overcome this hindrance because he, himself, has been remodeled. In a move so bold it may be shocking to people unaccustomed to such personal courage, Cameron turned himself over to the women in his life and asked them to change him. It started with a list of his flaws (Cameron came up with four; the women came up with one hundred seventy eight) and ended with him writing How to Remodel a Man, so that others could learn from his experience.If you're a woman, you'll be amazed to learn that men can be trained to perform all sorts of tricks, like using the instruments on the sides of their heads (the ears) to listen to you, and the space between those instruments to think about you.If you're a man, you've been given this book so that you'll see that it's possible to watch television without holding the remote or to ask for directions from strangers without suffering a catastrophic loss of testosterone. Cameron changed, and you can too.How to Remodel a Man is the essential guide for anyone in the awkward position of having to interact with a person of the male gender.

    Open at your own risk. Sarah and Tommy have the same kinds of problems as most any ten-year-old girl and six-year-old boy. Homework, bullies, Dad not going in to work since Mom ran off to fuck the postman. That sort of thing. But they're not going to take their problems lying down. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, they think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley. What they discover will make you soil your pants in terror. It will make your skin crawl. It might even give you... Shingles.

    People are puzzled how she can spontaneously make them laugh in the midst of national policy crises, and of real danger to her life as a corruption fighter.This book is a collection of jokes, one-liners, pick-up lines, conebacks and speeches delivered and/or curated by the beloved Senator. Also, inside are illustrations by Cj de Silva-Ong, Manix Abrera, Elbert Or, Rob Cham and more of the Philippines' best young illustrators.

    A city robbing and killing people since 50BC.The Vizz: an industry in crisis. Baxter Stone, a film maker and television veteran, a lifelong Londoner (who thinks he sees better than others) is having problems in the postbrain, crumbling capital. Swindled by an insurance company, he's in in debt; a Lamborghini is blocking his drive and MI6 is blocking his mobile reception. He hopes to turn it round and get the documentary series that will get him the Big Money. But what do you do if history is your sworn enemy and the whole world conspires against you? Is there any way, you could, for a moment, rule the world justly?Darkly comic, How to Rule The World follows Baxter's battle for truth, justice and classy colour grading as it takes him from the pass of Thermopylae, to the peacocking serial killers of Medieval France, and the war in Syria. A trip from the Garden of Eden to Armageddon, plus reggae.Demonstrating Fischer's inimitable talent for eviscerating social satire, How to the Rule the World is a magnificently funny read to stand alongside his best loved works, the Man Booker shortlisted Under the Frog, The Thought Gang and Don't Read This Book If You're Stupid, all of which Corsair will publish in e-book next year.

    The first sufferer is Harold Greensmeyer, who contracts USAC while at the supermarket. He is soon confined to a mental hospital, where he encounters a cast of curious characters – the compulsive psychiatrist who tries to treat him, a woman convinced that she and Harold are fated to marry, and a befuddled cop who believes Harold is a mystic. When USAC spreads and the hospital is quarantined, they escape together in search of answers, love, and a cure.

    Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!

    Even though the ’80s are over, Jack Burton, the goofball action hero, continues to be a timeless treasure. This is the sequel to John Carpenter’s cult classic that I’ve been waiting for.

    Mark Thomas' fourth book is a funny account of a challenge that had national repercussions. The challenge was to perform 100 acts of dissent within the year or donate £1000 to UKIP. (Nothing like a little incentive.) The targets were multiple; from corporate greed and public service inanities to infringements of rights. This is his account of the adventure and is sure to inspire. This book contains many photos and graphics, and so has been produced as a fixed-format colour ebook. It is only recommended for the newer, colour ebook readers.

    Brilliantly drawn and bitterly funny, these cartoons thoroughly demonstrate better living through plywood, reaffirm that what's good for business is good for America-even if Your Government in Action has taken to the streets-the Madonna is out of order and Yoga has been made silly. 122,000 copies in print.