Because even though it sounds like you're calling your friend a weirdo, this book is in fact a wonderfully astute and affectionate look at the female psyche, and perfect for any girl with a sense of humor (and a desire to know what boys think of girls). With his unique Homer-Simpson-channeled-through-Jessica-Simpson sensibility, Todd Harris Goldman—that Todd Harris Goldman, the funny, crude, un-PC, very savvy author of Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks at Them!—explains why boys think the opposite sex is weird. Narrated by a boy who's sort of a moron, it questions all the things that are completely alien to boys, but with a surprisingly sweet insight and great good spirit. Waxing vs. shaving. The color pink. Shoe obsessions. The everyday dilemma: "Does this dress make me look fat?" The appeal of tiny little dogs. Fake boobs. The mysteries of PMS. In the end he can only conclude that girls are weirdos and leave it at that—a conclusion that girls will not only understand but own up to proudly.

    

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    

    It's a far cry from the heady days when he led his band, The Shooting Tsars, to the top of the charts and sell-out tours and festivals around the world.An unwelcome phone call from his deceitful ex-manager, Chas Dupont, sets in motion a chain of events that seems unstoppable.Can Will get his fractured band back together and rediscover his mojo? Are Chas Dupont's motives purely altruistic? Who are the musical mafia? And are the legendary rumours about the lost "Bloom Tape" true?

    It's not about memorizing lists of dates or names, or remembering which general won what battle. Instead, BIZARRE HISTORY merrily digs up the scandals, the strangeness, and the scintillating details that illuminate personalities, events, and real life. Think of it not as a textbook, but as history’s juicy unauthorized biography--a historical document in which relevance never gets in the way of a good read. There are humorous quotes from famous figures such as Mark Twain and Napoleon ("History is a myth that men agree to believe"), as well as witty commentary about leaders of the past. After all, while you're probably familiar with William the Conquerer, have you heard of Charles the Simple, ruler of France and son of Louis the Stammerer? What about the emperor who entered Rome in a chariot drawn by 50 naked slaves—and invented the first whoopee cushion, too? But you can find lots of wildness closer to home: George Washington wrote love letters to a married woman; "Old Hickory" Andrew Jackson had been in at least seven duels before becoming president; and Benjamin Franklin fathered an illegitimate child. Paranoia also plagued a few of our presidents: the only thing Franklin Roosevelt had to fear was the number 13: he wouldn't invite 13 guests to a dinner party or travel on the 13th. And both Jimmy Carter and Ronald Reagan had encounters with UFOs! The fun facts span the globe, covering the crazy acts of Caligula in the Roman Empire; the "Dog Shogun" in 17th century Japan; the "Pork and Beans" war between the US and Canada; and even details about fashion, medicine, sports, and the real Dracula. It's a wild journey that no one could resist!

    TALKING WITH GODIn Don Camillo's Little World, where the Cold War is fought on the very doorstep of life, the hot-headed Catholic priest and the equally pugnacious Communist mayor, Peppone, confront one another in riotous and often hilarious manner.But when Don Camillo unburdens himself in the village church a voice from the cross above the high altar responds and his conversations with Il Cristo begin. We watch and listen, as with fascinating insights and gentle humour the prejudices of the stubborn priest are undermined, a resolution to conflict emerges, and the situation is transformed to the benefit of the community.It is then that we see that the ideas and values of Don Camillo's Little World are true for all times, the world over...Inimitable, delicious, full of pure fun THE OBSERVERIn this brand new, authorised edition of Giovanni Guareschi's enchanting classic, nineteen stories never before translated into English are published for the first time. Set in an isolated village amidst the sultry beauty of Italy s Lower Plain, The Little World of Don Camillo has been enjoyed by countless folk from 10 to 100, not only in book form, but also on film, TV and radio, and most recently as an audio-book.

    His book, You’re Not Helping… is a collection of short comedy articles that guide you through his delightful, inventive, and often nonsensical take on everything from attention-seeking dolphins to home invasions by the The Barenaked Ladies. You’re Not Helping… blends both humor and heart in what literary critics around the world are describing as “technically a book.” Join the 10s of readers worldwide enchanted by Ryan’s unique brand of wit.Ryan Patricks lives in San Francisco via Philadelphia. He is an aspiring comedy writer and once saw John Cusack at a Jamba Juice. You can follow him on Twitter @Ryan_Patricks or you can choose not to, it’s totally up to you.

    Laugh out loud as they encounter ‘crocodiles’ on the wall, strange African customs and unintelligible Afrikaans accents. Cringe with them as their visiting in-laws embarrass them in front of their new SA friends.If you enjoyed Educating Rita and Shirley Valentine you will recognise Mavis Turner.Set in the 1970s, But Can You Drink The Water? uses subtle observational humour with an underlying pathos to portray the upsets, hurt and changing family dynamics that emigration brings. (The story is based on a 13-part sitcom) ReviewWith a droll, witty, utterly British voice, this manuscript tackles playfully and sincerely the age-old fish out of water tale. What sustains this book, however, is the narrative voice, the dry and self-deprecating humor, and the ability of this author to tell a story simply and well. Publisher’s Weekly reviewer for the ABNA semi-finals.

    In her debut collection of humor essays, Connie provides entertainment with hysterical stories about awkward workplace situations, ridiculous coworkers, and enough happy hour cocktails to make you question her life choices. From low paying high school gigs to “real world” marketing jobs in Chicago, Connie presents stories about life both in and out of the office that will have you laughing out loud in the break room.

    When his assistant shows up unannounced and tells him to get his head back in the game, she has no idea how her presence, and his mounting attraction to her, affects him—in the most terrifying and scintillating way.

    

    

    The economy is collapsing, his health is failing, and around his hometown of Broughty Ferry, Bob is struggling to get the respect he deserves. Fortunately his email junk folder is bursting with offers of assistance from around the world. In these genuine emails, Bob Servant looks to the Internet's worst con merchants and charlatans for answers to his many woes. The author of the bestselling Delete This At Your Peril and the critically acclaimed Radio 4 series The Bob Servant Emails is back with an all-new compilation of emails targeting a fresh batch of email spammers—the false lenders who have bravely stepped into the credit crunch, supposed doctors offering expensive treatments for Bob's ailments, and fake foreign soldiers offering him military advice in his campaign against a local bowling club. They all find a man from Broughty Ferry who is ready and willing to give them his valuable time.

    The girl looks as sweet as her name.But looks can be deceiving because she’s no ordinary girl.She's all woman with a kick ass job, one that has her in trouble with the US government.They’re out for blood.Says she can handle it on her own,That she doesn’t need my help.But she came looking for me, all the way from Mayhem.I let her go once,It won’t happen again.Wicked Hazel.I want her.But she's off limits.One, I'm her bossFor two, pain already shines in her beautiful eyes.As sure as sin shines on her lips.I can't get her mixed up in all this Reckless MC stuff.I'm not even sure I want to be here myself.That is, until she comes running into my arms.Okay, maybe not running exactly.Falling.But now she's in trouble,And there's nothing that will stop me from saving her. Having her.Not even the ghosts from my past.Locked The girl who shattered my heart in high school just walked back into my life.Aspen Holt was a grade 'A' b*tch back then.Rich, hot, and entitled.To her, I was just a poor ranch boy.But we aren't in high school anymore.And I'm not a poor rancher.Loaded Good ol' Dr. Annabelle Keyes can make it disappear for a while.She may be a well respected Doctor while she's at work,but she is one freak in the sheets.And too good for a man like me.We've got a friends-with-benefits type of relationship,Except we're not really friends.It's more of a love-hate thing.Sure, she helps out the MC when someone needs stitched up or a bullet removed.But other than fightin' and screwin'? We don't have that type of chemistry.Tied My step sister just showed up at my door,It's been years since I last saw her.I don’t really know the kid who moved in when our parents got married.It was right before I signed on with Uncle Sam.But she needs my help now,Because her a-hole Daddy sold her to the mob.Wild Living in the sticks is boring. Mundane.Good thing the club keeps me busy,As members get their kink on,And the ladies keep me up.All. Night. Long.But damn if the one woman I want under me is off limits.Ella Mae.The most badass woman ever and the VP of a rival MC.Turns out, there’s more than one way to be forbidden.Love filthy talking bikers who can melt your panties with just a whisper? Or just a hot AF ride on the wild side? You got it babe! Reckless MC delivers! Grab this box set now. Just remember to leave your panties at the door!