Borrowing from a well-known improve game, Mochrie takes the first and last lines from familiar classics and reimagines everything in between. With the same engaging humour he exhibits on stage, television, and film, he takes the reader in bizarre and hilarious new directions, using the original writer's words as a launch and landing point. Imagine A Tale of Two Cities in which Wile E. Coyote gets his revenge on the Road Runner, Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat with zombies, or The Night Before Christmas with a time travelling twist. Imagine Sherlock Holmes devising a foolproof method for eliciting laughter and then taking the stage at a Victorian comedy club in Old London.This inspired collection is comical, quirky, and clever classic Mochrie.

    Except maybe her posh long-lost grandmother Matilda...But life isn't going well for Matilda either. The acclaimed etiquette books she wrote in her youth are no longer selling, her mortgage repayments are enormous and now her disheveled granddaughter has turned up out of the blue and she is not at all what Matilda hoped she'd be...In an attempt to get a new book deal and make some much needed money, Jess and Matilda decide to use Matilda's old etiquette guides and teach messy, modern Jess how to become the ultimate demure lady. The true test of their project will be to capture the heart of the sexy, notorious playboy Leo Frost and prove that Matilda's guides still work.Transforming Jess from trashy to tasteful will be no easy feat, and when Leo starts falling for Jess's newfound charms, what started out as a way to make some cash suddenly becomes a whole lot more complicated ...**THIS BOOK WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED UNDER THE TITLE THE VINTAGE GUIDE TO LOVE AND ROMANCE/LESSONS IN LOVE AND ROMANCE**Laugh your socks off with this hilarious feel-good chick lit read! It's packed with laugh out loud feel good moments, swoony, sexy romance, and truly unforgettable characters ! If you like funny romance books by Sophie Kinsella, Christina Lauren or Sophie Ranald, then you'll LOVE this hilarious laugh-out-loud romantic comedy from bestselling romance author Kirsty Greenwood.

    And because Geoff Norcott is so funny, it unfortunately means I can't dismiss his views entirely. It's so important to have a friend you can disagree with but still admire and Geoff can be that friend to you!' - Katherine Ryan "I've always thought the benefit of having batsh*t parents is it increases the chance of you growing up funny. It's certainly worked for Geoff Norcott." - David Baddiel 'Voting Conservative is like buying a James Blunt album: loads of people have done it, but weirdly you never meet them ...' Comedian Geoff Norcott should have been Labour through and through. He grew up on a council estate, both of his parents were disabled, and his Dad was a Union man. So, how was it that he grew up to vote Tory? In this courageously honest and provocative memoir, Geoff unpicks his working-class upbringing and his political journey from left to right. Raised by a fierce matriarch and a maverick father on a South London council estate where they filmed scenes for The Bill, Geoff spends his youth attempting to put out kitchen fires with aerosols and leaping in and out of industrial skips. But as he reaches adolescence, his political views begin to be influenced by major events including the early 90s recession, the credit crunch, and a chance encounter with Conservative PM John Major. As an adult, Geoff begins to have the gnawing feeling that the values and traditions he grew up with no longer match Labour's. And, as Brexit appears, he feels even more like a double agent operating behind enemy lines. Written with warmth, wit and often laugh-out-loud humour, Where Did I Go Right? is Geoff's attempt to understand why he ended up voting 'for the bad guys', and why blue-collared conservatism could be here to stay. Praise for Geoff Norcott: 'A mature, sharp take on modern politics' - The Sunday Times 'Gently abrasive, but that's what makes him so entertaining... with a sharp, self-knowing wit' - The Times 'Geoff Norcott genuinely has something original to say' - New European 'A refreshingly brilliant new comedic voice' - Spectator 'Norcott is an out-and-out rebel' - ExpressReviewWHERE DID I GO RIGHT? is sharp, considered, insightful, and helped me make sense of 'the other side'. And because Geoff Norcott is so funny, it unfortunately means I can't dismiss his views entirely. It's so important to have a friend you can disagree with but still admire and Geoff can be that friend to you! ― Katherine RyanBook DescriptionGeoff Norcott's colourful memoir of growing up Labour, but now voting Tory.About the AuthorComedian and writer Geoff Norcott is well known for his regular appearances on BBC2's The Mash Report, BBC1's Mock The Week, and Radio 4's The News Quiz. In 2019, he fronted his own BBC2 documentary How The Middle Class Ruined Britain and he has four Radio 4 specials to his name, one of which won the BBC Radio Award for Best Comedy Production. A satirical commentator in many national newspapers, Geoff has also been profiled in The Times and t he Guardian. He lives with his wife and son in Cambridgeshire.

    Hellfire and damnation await a woman whose psychiatrist may be more than he seems. And devastating secrets from the past are unleashed when an old man revisits his childhood bedroom…Scare Street is proud to present the best in bone-chilling supernatural horror. This volume contains three terrifying tales for your reading pleasure. Each story will keep you up long past the midnight hour, eager to turn the next page… Because the second your close your eyes, who knows what nightmares will come alive in the dark corners of your room? They creep closer, and closer. Their rotting claws reach out for you with the cold, chilling touch of the grave. And if they catch you, your own scream will be the last sound you’ll ever hear…

    The complete collection of articles and emails from 27bslash6 such as Overdue Account, Party in Apartment 3 and Strata Agreement plus articles too litigious to be on the website.

    Yes his family had Friday-night dinners, and yes they kept a kosher house, but somehow it was never the most important part of his identity. He wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to be believing in. And yet he had to contend with the responsibility of his ancestry. That’s what first struck me about this book—how tradition and expectation sit heavily on one’s shoulders, and how Greene offers a fresh new voice for the generations of Jews who were born after the Holocaust.

    All of your favorite artists are represented in these pages—from Bon Jovi and Green Day to Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé, and beyond. Already a smash sensation on the Internet—the Tumblr page has 20,000+ followers—Pop Sonnets has been featured by the A.V. Club, BuzzFeed, and Vanity Fair, among many others. More than half of these pop sonnets are exclusive to this collection and have never been published in any form.

    It helps you solidify new eating habits and enjoy some new recipes, as well as better understand nutrition and your food intake so that you can maintain your weight long after surgery.Features simple, delicious meals that conform to post-weight loss surgery requirements Offers easy-to-prepare recipes that are high in flavor and low in fat and calories, that you can eat immediately after your surgery and beyond Weight Loss Surgery Cookbook For Dummies makes it easy to shed the pounds and keep them off!

    Seven Steps to Get Off Sugar and Carbohydrates provides a day-by-day plan to wean your body off of these addictive products and regain your health. These changes in your eating habits will start your lifestyle journey to the abundant life Jesus wants you to experience. Not a life filled with disease and poor health. You will learn: • how to eliminate brain fog, cure diseases, and lose weight • foods that damage versus foods that are beneficial—the ones God gave us to eat, not the food industry • healthy food alternatives and menu planning • the science behind food addiction, Candida, and emotional reasons we overeat • to identify food triggers and use God’s Word to fight impulsive eating • resources—educational videos and books, meal planning, support organizations, recipes Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief’s purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness” (TLB). Are you living life in its fullness? Is your health or weight impeding you from embracing a healthy, bountiful life? Take these simple seven steps and regain the life you were created for. You will love the new you!

    MyersJohn F. SchmittKen ScholesEric James StoneAlso includes never-before-seen content from Orson Scott Card on the writing and evolution of the events in Ender's Game, from the design of Battle School to the mindset of the pilots who sacrificed themselves in humanity’s fight against the formics

    (Women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply)."I haven't woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it's one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for." Jon RichardsonIs your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places? Can you eat a biscuit in the correct way? Then Jon Richardson (single for seven years and counting) could be your ideal man.Living alone in a one bedroom flat in Swindon, 27 year old Jon has had far too much time on his hands to think. In fact to obsess. About almost everything. Jon's obsessive compulsive personality disorder has seen him arrange the coins in his pockets in ascending size and colour code his bookshelves. It takes him less than 90 seconds to locate a receipt for a pair of shoes he bought in 1997. Over to the filing cabinet and R for receipts, S for shoes.But Jon doesn't want to be like this, in fact he would quite like to share his life with someone. But who could that someone be? Someone like himself, a quarrelsome perfectionist only with breasts and less body hair? Absolutely not. But who exactly is Jon looking for and where will he find her? Faced with a loveless future filled with his own peculiar quirks and perfectionism, Jon sets about his search for The One. The question is, will he mind her keeping the knives to the left of the forks in the cutlery drawer or organising the CDs by genre and not alphabetically?

    A mental health patient threatening to fly out of the window. A hypochondriac calling in with stomach pains that don't exist. A mother with a heart condition - who might not live to see her child grow-up. Alex Rudd always wanted to be a doctor.And he always wanted to work nights in London.But it's a job that might drive him crazy - if he doesn't die of exhaustion first. It's the greatest city in the world - and also home to the most bizarre medical emergencies any doctor will ever witness. As an emergency doctor, Rudd visits homes across London throughout the night. Hypochondriacs, drug-abusers -- and people with household objects inserted in their nether-regions, his patients range from the mad to the moving.'London Call-Out: Confessions Of A Doctor In The Capital' lifts the lid on the medical services in the British capital. It provides a revealing look at the work of a sessional GP and examines the dynamics of the night-shift team. It is entertaining and funny yet also eye-opening and informative. And it provides an illuminating overview of many of the issues facing a medical service in a major city. 'London Call-Out' is a must-read for anyone who enjoys medical memoirs - and is perfect for fans of Benjamin Daniels' 'Confessions of a GP'. Alex Rudd is a GP who now works as a locum in a variety of surgeries in London and the rest of the country. His name has been changed to protect the identity of his patients and colleagues.

    Last year, Guardian journalist Ariane Sherine launched the Atheist Bus Campaign and ended up raising over GBP150,000, enough to place the advert 'There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life' on 800 UK buses in January 2009. Now Ariane and dozens of other atheist writers, comedians and scientists are joining together to raise money for a very different cause. The Atheist's Guide to Christmas is a funny, thoughtful handbook all about enjoying Christmas, from 42 of the world's most entertaining atheists. It features everything from an atheist Christmas miracle to a guide to the best Christmas pop hits, and contributors include Richard Dawkins, Charlie Brooker, Derren Brown, Ben Goldacre, Jenny Colgan, David Baddiel, Simon Singh, AC Grayling, Brian Cox and Richard Herring. The full book advance and all royalties will go to the UK HIV charity Terrence Higgins Trust.(less)

    All they have to do is fix the place up and sell it for a tidy profit!Except—as anyone who has renovated an old house knows—things are never that easy.The walls are rapidly crumbling around them, the architect is a certified lunatic, the budget is spiraling…and then there’s the disturbingly intelligent cow to worry about.On top of all this, the renovation is being featured on a daytime reality TV show, and as soon as Great Locations presenter Gerard O’Keefe catches sight of Hayley’s first-floor balcony, he’s determined to woo her out of her ban on romance, whether she wants him to or not.Will Dan and Hayley survive and sell up? Or will the whole thing collapse on them like a ton of bricks?From bestselling author Nick Spalding comes a hilarious tale of life, love and dodgy plumbing.

    A police force that large is going to have more than a few colorful characters and unbelievable stories. Retired NYPD Detective Vic Ferrari takes you behind the scenes as he peels back the onion, revealing the good, the bad, and the ugly of the New York City Police Department. The NYPD's Flying Circus picks up where NYPD: Through the Looking Glass left off in this controversial tell-all sequel. The NYPD’s Flying Circus is an introspective, behind-the-scenes look into the New York City Police Department. Cops, crime and chaos are sarcastically woven together through the eyes of a retired NYPD detective, exposing the funnier side of the NYPD—a fascinating history lesson wrapped in personal anecdotes covering a twenty-year law enforcement career. If you enjoy Live PD, are fascinated with police work, or ever wondered what it was like to be a member of the NYPD, you’ve picked up the right book.