Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don’t have time for all that. That’s why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets —a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you’ll find inside:My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.— @FatherWithTwinsWith my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.— @KalvinMacleodShe took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?"Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.— @BunmiLaditanI wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.— @SuburbanSnapsTo anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow. — @XplodingUnicornPeppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?

    The olden days were pretty fun if you liked wearing chainmail or chopping people's heads off but there was one TINY LITTLE problem back then . . . doctors didn't have the slightest clue about how our bodies worked. It's time to find out why Ancient Egyptians thought the brain was just a useless load of old stuffing that might as well be chucked in the bin, why teachers forced their pupils to smoke cigarettes, why hairdressers would cut off their customers' legs, and why people used to get paid for farting. (Unfortunately that's no longer a thing - sorry.) You'll get answers to questions like: Why did patients gargle with wee? How did a doctor save people's lives using a washing machine, a can of beans and some old sausages? What was the great stink? (No, it's not what doctors call your bum.) If you're sure you're ready, then pop a peg on your nose (there was a lot of stinky pus back then), pull on your wellies (there was a lot of poo there too), wash your hands (because they certainly didn't) and explore this gross and gruesome history of the human body! Praise for Kay's Anatomy: 'An enjoyably gross look at the human body. Hours of gruesome fun guaranteed' i 'Like listening to a teacher who makes pupils fall about' Sunday Times 'Totally brilliant!' Jacqueline Wilson 'Fun and informative' Malorie Blackman 'Very funny - this exciting book is bound to inspire the next generation of medics' Sunday Express

    Her father is an inventor who makes gadgets for spies, and Eliza is his unofficial assistant…very unofficial. Eliza knows if she can just build that one indispensable thing that every secret agent needs, she can be a full-fledged spy herself, but somehow her inventions keep going wrong. Still, with her best friend (well, dog), Einstein, she’s not going to give up. When Eliza’s father loses a top-secret roll of film, Eliza realizes that she might have accidentally given it to class bully Zoe Wakefield, the Queen of Mean. Eliza’s got to retrieve the film, which Zoe is using as a hair bow, before enemy spies get to it. Luckily she’s got Einstein as well as her own brand-new assistant (and friend), Amy, to help her. Can these three would-be 007s get the film, stop the spies, and get revenge on the class bully? There’s only one way to find out—and that’s to read Eliza’s diary!

    But after the death of their grandmother, Lexie tells a terrible, instinctive, jealous lie about an heirloom necklace, a lie that splits the family apart. It's up to her to bring the family back together ... but after such a lie, can she find a way to tell the truth?

    They do everything together, from curling up in their basket to playing fetch in the park. Twiglet understands Fennel like no one else, especially her life-long dream of winning Crufts. There's just one problem: Fennel isn't a dog. And a girl can't win a competition for dogs, no matter how much she acts like one.Can she?

    But to his family's utter disappointment, Victor doesn't have a single bad-guy bone in his body. He won't run with scissors, he always finishes his peas, and he can't stand to be messy. Hopeless!As a last-ditch effort before they give up and let him be a--gasp!--civilian, Victor's exasperated parents send him to apprentice under a disgraced supervillain called The Smear. This matchup starts off as a complete disaster, but Victor and The Smear eventually find that they have a lot to learn from each other. When the stakes get high as Victor is forced to choose between his mentor and his family morals (or lack thereof)...what will the world's nicest bad guy do?In this rollicking middle-grade adventure, Michael Fry's witty text and hysterical artwork combines superhero action with classic fish-out-of-water humor.<!--EndFragment-->

    Scholastic's books are the #2 Scooby licensed product in the world!Jinkies! The kids from Mystery, Inc. are spending the night in an old-fashioned castle. Scooby and Shaggy can't wait to get medieval. They even dress up as knights in shining armor.But when the two buddies hear there's a vampire haunting the place, they decide they'd rather flee than fight! Can Fred, Velma, and Daphne stake the vamp and save their friends?

    'Oh sweet mangoes of heaven!' Everyone has dreamed of being able to get rid of their brother or sister at one time or another – but for Jonny, the dream is about to become a reality with SiblingSwap.com! What could be better than someone awesome to replace Ted, Jonny's obnoxious older brother. But finding the perfect brother isn't easy, as Jonny discovers when Sibling Swap sends him a line of increasingly bizarre replacements: first a merboy, then a brother raised by meerkats, and then the ghost of Henry the Eighth! What's coming next?! Suddenly old Ted isn't looking so bad. But can Jonny ever get him back? A hilarious tale of wish fulfilment gone wrong that every child will relate to – perfect for fans of Pamela Butchart, My Brother is a Superhero and David Baddiel's The Parent Agency.

    He went and married Mum, didn't he? Mum's last name was De Montfort. Thanks to Dad she wasn't Nathalia De Montfort. She was Nathalia Bumole. "It's pronounced Bew-mow-lay," Dad would tell her patiently, time and again. "If anyone says differently, the joke's on them." But as Nathalia knows only too well, the joke will not be on them. It will be on her. Massively. If Nathalia can just keep The Most Embarrassing Dad In The World away from her new school, then maybe he won't ruin everything this time. Maybe.

    The arrival of Hassan from war-torn Syria changes everything. Louise is restless and yearning for independence, and the fiercely free and self-reliant Hassan fascinates her. He seems to know the island from long ago as if it were his home from birth. Hassan is an acrobat, maybe a sorcerer, possibly a source of great danger. The wild gang of boys who call the island their home want to cast him out. The forces of love, death and hope move Louise and Hassan towards a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in a world that is both cruel and compassionate. Lindisfarne will change their lives forever. David Almond is the author of many beloved and prize-winning books for children and teenagers. His best known work, Skellig, won the Whitbread Children's Award and the Carnegie Medal and was made into a feature-length film. A Song for Ella Grey, a beautiful retelling of the myth of Orpheus, won the Guardian Children's Book Prize 2015.

    You think it's bad being a wimpy kid in public school? Try walking in my shoes for one day! I'm Ben Montgomery and these are my unintentionally hilarious stories of misfortune. A Diary of a Private School Kid is a funny illustrated chapter book that's entertaining for children, middle school students, and adults.

    But his Dad is convinced that Marcus has magic in his feet. Read the hilarious diary of a reluctant soccer star and how Marcus scores a goal in a way no one has seen before!

    No, no. The reason that spiders are the worst is because...Read along in this humorous rhyme to find out why this kid dislikes spiders.Another quality children picture book from the father and daughter team of Michael and Rachel Yu.Fully illustrated eBook, for ages 2 years and up.<h2> ** Amazon Prime Members can download this book for FREE! ** </h2>

    SHE IS NOT A WITCH! But Daisy soon becomes drawn into the mysteries of life at Toadspit, and finds that she even has a few magical surprises up her sleeve. . .The adventures of Daisy the reluctant witch are perfect for fans of magical school stories.

    And after he faints during a safety assembly, Stanley takes his love of comics up a level by inventing his own imaginary superhero, named John Lockdown, to help him through.Help is what he needs, because Stanley’s entered Trivia Quest—a giant comics-trivia treasure hunt—to prove he can tackle his worries, score VIP passes to Comic Fest, and win back his ex-best friend. Partnered with his fearless new neighbor Liberty, Stanley faces his most epic, overwhelming, challenging day ever.What would John Lockdown do?Stanley’s about to find out.