Book picks similar to
Intimate Partners by Maggie Scarf
psychology
non-fiction
nonfiction
self-help
When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships
David Richo - 2008
We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps readers to: • Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships—and why this is a gift • Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won't sabotage present-day relationships • Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of own own unfinished business • Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy
Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love
Terrence Real - 2018
It’s something you do," teaches Terry Real. "It’s a minute-by-minute practice of connecting to others through empathy, vulnerability, and accountability." With Fierce Intimacy, this renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection—one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure.How to Communicate with Love and Respect—Even When You Argue Terry’s approach to relationship is called "full-respect living"—to skillfully and honestly assert your needs while also honoring your partner’s needs. In these six sessions, he presents invaluable training for individuals and couples on developing the skills necessary for this authentic way of connecting. You’ll begin by learning how to clear away the outdated beliefs and habits that keep you from developing healthy self-esteem. Then Terry will help you and your partner transform the Five Losing Strategies that sabotage relationships into the Five Winning Strategies that lead to clear communication, trust, and mutual support. "When we dare to be more vulnerable and open and honest, we are forging new territory," says Terry Real. Whether you’re still seeking a partner or want to breathe new life into your existing relationship, Fierce Intimacy brings you essential tools for connecting with true respect, uncompromising honesty, and ever-deepening love.HIGHLIGHTS • The adaptive child—how to recognize and defuse self-sabotaging habits • Unhealthy self-esteem traps for men and women • Identifying your CNI (Core Negative Image)—a key to making arguments constructive instead of destructive • The Feedback Wheel—a four-step approach to revolutionize your communication • The Five Losing Strategies: our impulses to control, retaliate, and be right all the time • The Five Winning Strategies for shared happiness, connection, and success
All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Ellen Fein - 1995
Right starts here. This simple set of dating dos and don'ts-combining The Rules and The Rules II-will teach you how to find (and keep!) a man who treats you with the respect and dignity you deserve.You are a creature unlike any other (Rule #1)-that's why you need... The Rules. Refreshingly blunt, astonishingly effective, and at times hilarious, All the Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. These commonsense guidelines will help you:Lead a full, satisfying, busy life outside of romance.Accept occasional defeat and move on.Bring out the best in you and in the men you date.Whether you're eighteen or eighty, these time-tested techniques will help you find the man of your dreams.
F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems
Michael I. Bennett - 2015
F*ck Feelings is the last self-help book you will ever need!
Wild at Heart Revised and Updated: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
John Eldredge - 2001
Simply look at the dreams and desires written in the heart of every boy: To be a hero, to be a warrior, to live a life of adventure and risk. Sadly, most men abandon those dreams and desires-aided by a Christianity that feels like nothing more than pressure to be a "nice guy." It is no wonder that many men avoid church, and those who go are often passive and bored to death. In this provocative book, Eldredge gives women a look inside the true heart of a man and gives men permission to be what God designed them to be-dangerous, passionate, alive, and free!
Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Paul T. Mason - 1998
It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.
Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship
Debra K. Fileta - 2020
But depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either strengthen and grow, or it will slowly begin to fade. Maybe your relationship is in the first blooms of spring, when friendship takes root and attraction blossoms. Maybe you’re in the season of summer, and things are starting to heat up—spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Maybe you’re deep in fall, and your true colors are starting to shine through. Or maybe you’re in winter, when the passion cools down and it would be all too easy to let the relationship freeze over. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join author, counselor, and relationship expert Debra Fileta, creator of TrueLoveDates.com, as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons of every healthy relationship. You’ll learn to…Recognize each season as it comes and navigate it with intention, focus, and practical steps.Avoid the pitfalls of each stage by preparing for the hard moments and seeing them as opportunities to grow and connect. Celebrate not just the magical moments of each season, but the day-to-day choices that pave the way for a lasting relationship.No matter what your relationship status, you’re invited on a journey to strengthen and grow your love in every season.
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: It Works for Me - It Can Work for You
Albert Ellis - 2004
Part memoir and part self-help guide, this very personal story traces the private struggles that Ellis faced from early childhood to well into his adult life. Whether you are already familiar with Ellis’s many best-selling psychology books or are discovering his work for the first time, you will gain many insights into how to deal with your problems by seeing how Ellis learned to cope with his own serious challenges.In his early life, Ellis was faced with a major physical disability, chronic nephritis, which plagued him from age five to nine and led to hospitalization. This experience then caused the emotional reaction of separation anxiety. At this time he also suffered from severe, migraine-like headaches, which persisted into his forties. Later in life, he realized that some of his emotional upset was the result of initially taking parental neglect too seriously. Active and energetic by nature, he gradually learned that the best way to cope with any problem, physical or emotional, was to stop "catastrophizing" and to do something to correct it.As Ellis points out in all of his work, when faced with adversity, we must realize that we have a real choice, either to think rationally about the problem or to react irrationally. The first choice leads to healthy consequences—normal emotions such as sorrow, regret, frustration, or annoyance, which are justifiable reactions to troubling situations. The second choice leads to the unhealthy consequences of anxiety, depression, rage, and low self-esteem. When we recognize irrational beliefs as such, we must then use our reason to dispute their validity. Ellis goes on to describe how these techniques helped him to cope with many other adult emotional problems, including failure in love affairs, shame, anger, distress over his parents’ divorce, stress from others’ reactions to his atheistic convictions, and upset due to his attitudes about academic and professional setbacks.Honest and unflinching yet always positive and forward-looking, Ellis demonstrates how to gain and grow from trying experiences through rational thinking.
The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World
Desmond Tutu - 2013
If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.
Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections Between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices that Can Transform Your Life and Relationships
Curt Thompson - 2010
Integrating new findings in neuroscience and attachment with Christian spirituality, Dr. Thompson reveals how it is possible to rewire your mind, altering your brain patterns and literally making you more like the person God intended you to be. Explaining discoveries about the brain in layman's terms, he shows how you can be mentally transformed through spiritual practices, interaction with Scripture, and connections with other people. He also provides practical exercises to help you experience healing in areas where you've been struggling. Insightful and challenging, Anatomy of the Soul illustrates how learning about one of God's most miraculous creations--your brain--can enrich your life, your relationships, and your impact on the world around you.
Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.
Brené Brown - 2015
Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: Vulnerability—the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome—is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall.It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in Rising Strong. As a grounded theory researcher, Brown has listened as a range of people—from leaders in Fortune 500 companies and the military to artists, couples in long-term relationships, teachers, and parents—shared their stories of being brave, falling, and getting back up. She asked herself, What do these people with strong and loving relationships, leaders nurturing creativity, artists pushing innovation, and clergy walking with people through faith and mystery have in common? The answer was clear: They recognize the power of emotion and they’re not afraid to lean in to discomfort.Walking into our stories of hurt can feel dangerous. But the process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Our stories of struggle can be big ones, like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, or smaller ones, like a conflict with a friend or colleague. Regardless of magnitude or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same: We reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we’re feeling; we rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth; and we live this process, every day, until it becomes a practice and creates nothing short of a revolution in our lives. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. It’s the process, Brown writes, that teaches us the most about who we are.
Becoming Myself: Embracing God's Dream of You
Stasi Eldredge - 2013
We cannot heal ourselves. We cannot become ourselves by ourselves. But we are not by ourselves. The King of love wants to help us become. God desires to restore us—the real us. As he heals our inner life, he calls us to rise to the occasion of our lives. The most important journey any woman can take is the journey into becoming her true self through the love of God. It's a beautiful paradox. The more of God’s you become, the more yourself you become—the “self” he had in mind when he thought of you before the creation of the world. Discover your truest self—the woman God created you to be—in Becoming Myself.
The Good Divorce
Constance Ahrons - 1900
Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.
The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships
Helen Palmer - 1995
New from Helen Palmer, a "leading teacher and practitioner of the Enneagram" (San Francisco Chronicle), the first Enneagram book to give practical advice, in fascinating detail, on how to have the best possible relationships in love and business.
What Women Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You and the Man You Love
Barbara De Angelis - 2001
You've read her advice on relationships. Now, in her most powerful and provocative book yet, best-selling author and renowned human relations expert Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., reveals everything women want men to know about loving and understanding the women in their life. This is the book women have always hoped someone would write -- one that women will read to understand themselves better, and can give to their mate, confident that it will explain everything women feel about love, communication, sex, and intimacy that they've always wished men would know. WOMEN AND MEN WILL DISCOVER:The Three Secret Needs Every Woman HasSeven Myths Men Believe About Women and Why They Are Absolutely WrongHow to Avoid Turning a Perfectly Sane Woman into a Raving ManiacWomen's Top Twenty Sexual Turn-offs -- and Turn-onsThe Ten Male Communication Habits that Drive Women CrazySexual Secrets About Women Men Need to KnowHow to Turn Power Struggles into CooperationTechniques for Being the Perfect Lover In and Out of Bedand much more.IF YOU'RE A MAN: Read this book to learn what you can do to be a woman's dream come true. IF YOU'RE A WOMAN: Read this book to learn why you are the way you are, and give it to the man you love so you can have the relationship you've always wanted. Ever since Barbara De Angelis wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know, her readers have been begging her to write its counterparts book for both sexes that explains what women want men to know about understanding and loving the woman in their life. Delivered in her signature frank, provocative and down-to-earth style, this new book does just that, and is an insightful guide that women will read to learn more about themselves, and that they will be excited to give to the man they love. HELPING MEN TO UNDERSTAND WOMENHave you ever wondered why it's so hard for your mate to figure out what you need when your female friends understand you perfectly? Learn about The Three Secret Needs Every Woman Has, and how to communicate them in a way men can really hear.Have you ever felt misunderstood, and wished you could explain to your partner how you really are? Read about The Seven Myths Men Believe About Women and Why They Are Absolutely Wrong.Barbara includes groundbreaking information on the nature of women that will make you feel better about yourself than ever before, and will help men understand the real you.