Her lips? Hell yeah. A few other parts of her body? You better f*cking believe it. But her heart? Nope. Not even a little. Until it does…a lot.Forget I said that. I don’t have feelings for anyone. They were all ripped out of me when I was a kid.This thing between Laney and me could be great. But we have to follow certain rules. We have a good time—no dates, no sleepovers, no expectations. When one of us is ready for something new or if she starts getting too attached, we move on with no hard feelings. Win-win, and everybody’s happy.I came into this thinking it would be the same thing as it had always been and that she was like any other woman. It isn’t. She isn’t. But how do I tell her she deserves someone better - someone who can love her, someone who’s not broken - if I can’t seem to let her go? Laney I finally get it. And to think, it only took my heart being pried out of my chest and stomped on five separate times by men who claimed they loved me. That’s got to be a record, right?Let me put it as simply as I can.Fairy tales aren’t real. Love is a lie. And, at least in my experience, sex never comes with a happy ending. Fortunately, I still have a battery-operated boyfriend who’ll never fall out of love with me. I won’t walk in on him in bed with another woman either. Nope. As long as I keep supplying him with fresh batteries, BOB’s only purpose in life is to make me happy. And, damn it, I deserve to be happy. I’m a nice person. I work hard. And, most importantly, I've learned an important lesson: To never, ever let a man near my heart again. Unfortunately, some people never learn.***Be ready for a lot of laughs, a bunch of swoons, and a few tears from this standalone romantic comedy.******DARKER WATER is a standalone contemporary fairytale retelling inspired by The Frog Prince***

    Enter one "Big Fat Overly Romantic Serbian Family." Sit back and watch the magic happen.Growing up in her large, crazy Serbian family, Camryn Covic became an expert at shutting down her emotions in order to maintain her sanity. But when she loses her apartment, her job, and her boyfriend all in one day, she hits her breaking point. Worse, if her family finds out she's single again, her sister's upcoming wedding will be a disaster. The bride-to-be has a plan, though. A plan that involves an old friend, a pretend relationship... and the probability of ending up in a padded cell. This time for real.Troy Lanske agrees to the insane charade only because, when he was a lonely foster child, Camryn was his lifeline. But she isn't the idealistic girl he remembers. She's become so jaded that she doesn't even believe in love anymore. He sets out to restore her faith in happily-ever-afters, but his plan backfires when the fake relationship begins to feel all too real. Falling for the one woman he can't have could mean losing more than just his honorary family. He could lose everything.

    No, please, take your time. And definitely spread out, too, so you create a barricade of idiots. I am so thankful that you forced me to walk on the street and risk getting hit by a car in order to pass you so I could resume walking at a normal human pace.Jimmy Fallon has a few people and a few things to thank. In this brand-new book, the very first to come from his show, he addresses some 200 subjects in need of his undying "gratitude." Each page will feature one note and a photograph of its recipient. But why read any more about formatting when you could just read a few more samples;Thank you, guy whose chair made a farting noise, for prompting him to spend the next 20 minutes awkwardly shifting around trying to re-create the noise, so people would know it was just the chair. Thank you, Miley Cyrus, for being 16 and acting like a stripper at the Teen Choice Awards. If you REALLY wanna piss off your dad, why not just cut off his allowance? From Hilary Clinton to a light bulb he is too lazy to replace, these are the moments and memories that make Jimmy's life a little bit fuller.

    Just don’t be surprised when your ex-girlfriend does the same. And when her incredibly hot fake boyfriend becomes the one island of calm in a sea of bovine-based insanity, it’s best to exercise caution… especially when he pushes you up against the rough barn wall to check you very thoroughly for splinters... Just don’t be surprised if you fall head-over-hooves in love with him.

    That's what this books is about - whether it be major life lessons, like 'If you lie, you will get caught', simple truths like, 'Flowers work', or something wholly unique like, 'Watch out for the high strung brother in the military'.

    In a vain attempt at getting his boyfriend back, Henry does the most absurdly frightening thing he can think of.He joins a gym.Reed Henske is a personal trainer who isn’t sure he’ll ever be ready to date again. He’s sick of guys who are only interested in the perfect body image, never seeing him for who he really is.As Reed tortures Henry with things like diet and exercise, Henry enamours Reed with recipes and laughter. As the friendship lines start to blur, Henry is convinced there’s no way Thor-like Reed could ever be interested in a guy like him.Reed just has to convince Henry that life isn’t about reaching your ideal bodyweight. It’s about finding your perfect counterweight.

    It doesn’t feel wrong. It just...feels.EJ Cunning, an art history major, dates musicians. Foster Blake, a chemical engineering major, can’t sing a tune. They’re not each other’s type. They’re coworkers.Then, one night leads to sex—sex between friends—which leads to an agreement. It all seems so simple—but nothing ever is.Many layers build a person’s facade.Look into the depths for what’s hidden within.It’s more than water. It’s a story—a living and breathing substance beyond the reflective surface.

    Even if she can’t quite shed her too-loud, too-curvy alter ego–or the brawling family that insists on claiming kinship. So when her most famous client, buff football star “Bomber” Bomstad, starts chasing her around her desk and getting, well…unzipped…Christina gets just a little miffed–until Bomber has the bad manners to drop dead at her feet.Enter Jack Rivera, a no-nonsense detective with a grim attitude and a great butt, who’s determined to prove this cocktail-waitress-turned-shrink was engaging in some very unethical behavior. Persuading Rivera that she’s not a murderer isn’t going to be easy. Plunging headfirst into a city full of people in need of some serious therapy, Chrissy will have to use all her street smarts, a good deal of sex appeal, and a little love to clear her name–and cancel an appointment with a killer.

    His journal - somewhere between Proust and Eeyore - contains apercus by Voltaire or Machiavelli cheek by jowl with hints on dealing with clumsy human feet under the dinner table, amorous interludes alongside run-ins with plumbers, and athletic diversions interspersed with joyous and trying adventures in the French countryside.Boy's reflections on life and the relationship between man and dog - and his occasional revelation about the human condition - come from a refreshingly new perspective, that is, approximately knee-height, making him an irresistible, if often irascible, companion.