Book picks similar to
I Love You, But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum
relationships
self-help
nonfiction
relationship
The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
Debbie Mirza - 2017
When most people think of a narcissist they think of someone who is grandiose, obviously self-absorbed, sees themself as superior to others, and throws fits of rage when they don’t get their way. But what if the narcissist is one of the nicest people you’ve ever met? What if they are a great listener, seem to care about others, and are a pillar of the community? What if they are the mother that volunteers at the school, the husband that your girlfriends wish they had, the boss that your co-workers feel so lucky to work for? A covert narcissist has the same traits as the well-known overt type. The difference is when they control and manipulate, when they demean and devalue you it is done is such a subtle way you don’t notice it. Many people can have a parent who is a covert narcissist and not realize it until well into their adulthood. Most people who are married to this type can be with this person for decades, not even recognizing the tactics that have been used on them for years. Others have experienced a boss or co-worker that have taken years of their life and drained them of their energy and self-worth, bringing them to a place where they question their own sanity. There are no visible scars with this form of abuse and you are usually the only one that experiences their destructive and psychologically debilitating behavior. The most common description a survivor of this type of abuse will use is crazy making. If you have experienced or are in a relationship with a covert narcissist this book will help you see that you are not crazy. The author thoroughly explains and illustrates through real life stories what the traits of a covert narcissist are and look like. Your feelings and hunches will be validated and you will finally be able to see clearly and know how to heal after years of confusion. Living with a covert narcissist drains your spirit and leaves you questioning your own reality. You have been lied to for years and it is time to finally see the truth of what you have been through, who you really are, and how much you deserve love and happiness.
The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People
Rachel Wilkerson Miller - 2020
What’s more, we’re living in an uncharted social landscape with new conventions on how to relate—one where actual phone calls are reserved for Mom (if anyone), “dropping in” is unheard-of, and “flaking out” is routine.The Art of Showing Up offers a roadmap through this morass to true connection with your friends, your family, and yourself. Author Rachel Wilkerson Miller teaches that “showing up” means connecting with others in a way that makes them feel seen and supported. And that begins with showing up for yourself: recognizing your needs, understanding your physical and mental health, and practicing self-compassion. Only then can you better support other people; witness their joy, pain, and true selves; validate their experiences; and help ease their burden. When “showing up” for others, it’s not the grandest gesture that matters most—it’s how close you come to meeting your loved ones where they really are.
I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead
Byron Katie - 2005
Now, I Need Your Love—Is That True? examines a universal, age-old source of anxiety: our relationships with others. In this groundbreaking book, Katie helps you question everything you have been taught to do to gain love and approval. In doing this, you discover how to find genuine love and connection. The usual advice offered in self-help books and reinforced by our culture advocates a stressful, all-consuming quest for love and approval. We are advised to learn self-marketing and manipulative skills—how to attract, impress, seduce, and often pretend to be something we aren’t. This approach doesn’t work. It leaves millions of walking wounded—those who, having failed to find love or appreciation, blame themselves and conclude that they are unworthy of love. I Need Your Love—Is That True? helps you illuminate every area in your life where you seem to lack what you long for most—the love of your spouse, the respect of your child, a lover’s tenderness, or the esteem of your boss. Through its penetrating inquiry, you will quickly discover the falseness of the accepted ways of seeking love and approval, and also of the mythology that equates love with need. Using the method in this book, you will inquire into painful beliefs that you’ve based your whole life on—and be delighted to see them evaporate. Katie shows you how unraveling the knots in the search for love, approval, and appreciation brings real love and puts you in charge of your own happiness.“Everyone agrees that love is wonderful, except when it’s terrible. People spend their whole lives tantalized by love—seeking it, trying to hold on to it, or trying to get over it. Not far behind love, as major preoccupations, come approval and appreciation. From childhood on, most people spend much of their energy in a relentless pursuit of these things, trying out different methods to be noticed, to please, to impress, and to win other people’s love, thinking that’s just the way life is. This effort can become so constant and unquestioned that we barely notice it anymore.This book takes a close look at what works and what doesn’t in the quest for love and approval. It will help you find a way to be happier in love and more effective in all your relationships. What you learn here will bring fulfillment to all kinds of relationships, including romantic love, dating, marriage, work, and friendship.” —Byron KatieFrom the Hardcover edition.
The Course of Love
Alain de Botton - 2016
De Botton's essay "Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person" (The New York Times, May 28, 2016), which draws from The Course of Love, was the #1 most emailed article for days.We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children—but no long-term relationship is as simple as "happily ever after." The Course of Love is a novel that explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain love, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence. You experience, along with Rabih and Kirsten, the first flush of infatuation, the effortlessness of falling into romantic love, and the course of life thereafter. Interwoven with their story and its challenges is an overlay of philosophy—an annotation and a guide to what we are reading.This is a Romantic novel in the true sense, one interested in exploring how love can survive and thrive in the long term. The result is a sensory experience—fictional, philosophical, psychological—that urges us to identify deeply with these characters and to reflect on his and her own experiences in love. Fresh, visceral, and utterly compelling, The Course of Love is a provocative and life-affirming novel for everyone who believes in love.
Games People Play
Eric Berne - 1964
More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published. This anniversary edition features a new introduction by Dr. James R. Allen, president of the International Transactional Analysis Association, and Kurt Vonnegut’s brilliant Life magazine review from 1965.We play games all the time–sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like “Martini” (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like “If It Weren’t For You” and “Uproar,” to flirtation favorites like “The Stocking Game” and “Let’s You and Him Fight,” Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives.Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful and eye-opening as ever.
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
Jerold J. Kreisman - 1989
They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next. There are an estimated 10 million sufferers of BPD living in America today—each displaying remarkably similar symptoms: ● a shaky sense of identity ● sudden violent outbursts ● oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection ● brief, turbulent love affairs ● frequent periods of intense depression ● eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies ● an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone For years BPD was difficult to describe, diagnose, and treat. But now, for the first time, Dr. Jerold J. Kreisman and health writer Hal Straus offer much-needed professional advice, helping victims and their families to understand and cope with this troubling,shockingly widespread affliction.
Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction
Christopher Canwell - 2017
Based on over 120 scientific studies, this book is the ultimate guide to creating and maintaining attraction with women.
Attraction doesn’t grow in a warm, safe environment, it grows in a swamp of discomfort and anxiety. This is just one of many truths you’re about to discover.In Atomic Attraction Christopher Canwell takes us on a journey through the dark waters of attraction. What turns women on? What makes them choose one man over another? And how can you become truly desirable and attractive?This book answers these questions by combining the latest scientific research with real-life case studies to show you, the reader, how to ignite the fires of attraction and captivate those around you.
INSIDE YOU’LL DISCOVER
– How to get more sex, love, and affection– How to increase your sexual market value– How to use body language to attract women– How to create instant attraction with women– How to keep your girlfriend/wife interested in you– How to maintain attraction in long-term relationships– How to become the most attractive version of yourself– How to build attraction online by text and social mediaEverything you need to know about creating, building, and maintaining attraction with women can be found within these pages.
*This book includes 40 real-life case studies.
Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship: A Caretaker's Guide to Recovery, Empowerment, and Transformation
Margalis Fjelstad - 2017
Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship offers guidance about what to expect as the relationship unravels and how to cope with the fallout. It also helps the reader learn to truly disengage and move through the grief process.Presenting techniques for healing and rebuilding self-esteem and self-confidence, this book offers a guide to developing emotional strength and encourages forgiveness and reconciliation with the past. It shows the reader how to increase emotional self-protections, quit caretaking in relationships, and become more independent and self-loving. Using real stories, Margalis Fjelstad offers a process of healing that can direct the reader away from former patterns of inequitable relationships and toward loving, caring connections that can truly grow healthfully and flourish. It shows that ending a relationship with a narcissist may be the best thing that ever happened.--Elayne Savage, PhD, relationship and workplace coach; professional speaker; author of Don't Take It Personally! The Art of Dealing with Rejection and Breathing Room - Creating Space to Be a Couple
Getting Back Out There: Secrets to Successful Dating and Finding Real Love after the Big Breakup
Susan J. Elliott - 2013
Based on years of research and work with her own clients, Susan Elliott offers a proven plan that will help you to:Examine past relationships for unfinished business and negative patternsIdentify warning signs and red flagsKeep your standards and boundaries high, even when you're head over heelsWork through rejection, rebounding, and other bumps in the roadDecide when to take a relationship to the next level and when to say goodbyeWith practical rules, strategies, and self-assessments—including tips for dating as a parent and dating online—Getting Back Out There will help you transition from your split to a happy, healthy new relationship.
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
Susan David - 2016
The path to fulfillment, whether at work or at home, is almost never a straight line. Ask anyone who has achieved their biggest goals or who thrives in their relationships, and you’ll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who rise to these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility—emotional agility.Emotional agility is a four-step approach that allows us to navigate life’s twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. In her more than twenty years of research, Susan David has found that no matter how intelligent, resilient, or creative people are, when they ignore how situations or interactions make them feel, they miss opportunities to gain insight, getting hooked by thoughts, emotions, and habits that prevent them from reaching their full potential. Emotionally agile people experience the same stresses and setbacks as anyone else, but they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small changes that lead to a life of growth.Drawing on her extensive professional research, her international consulting work, and her own experiences growing up in Apartheid-era South Africa and losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can become more emotionally agile and thrive in an uncertain world. Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility will help you live your most successful life, whoever you are and whatever you face. Take the FREE Emotional Agility Insights Quiz here: https://bitly.com/ea-quiz
Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free
Terri Cole - 2021
Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships.The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life.In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life.Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn:• How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next• How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it• Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say• How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities• Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss.
Questions for Couples: 469 Thought-Provoking Conversation Starters for Connecting, Building Trust, and Rekindling Intimacy
Marcus Kusi - 2017
We all want to have better, more substantial and engaging conversations everyday with our significant other. However, knowing where to start or the right questions to ask can be a challenge when things become routine. That's why we wrote Questions for Couples. We have used these open-ended questions to get to know each other more deeply, have better conversations, and improve our relationship. We believe these questions will do the same for your relationship too. In Questions for Couples, you will discover: 1. 469 Thought-provoking conversation starters for connecting, building trust, and rekindling intimacy in your relationship. 2. Fun, engaging, and open-ended questions that will lead to some of the best conversations you have had in a while with your partner, bring you closer, and really get you learning about each other. 3. Creative conversation starters for communicating and expressing your feelings, needs, and desires. 4. Refreshing questions you can discuss with each other on a weekly basis to help you grow your relationship, as well as personal development. 5. Thought-provoking questions that will help you talk about things you might never think of on your own, which is especially helpful if you are looking for something new to talk about. 6. Inspiring conversation starters for setting yearly goals as a couple, so you can grow together while achieving them. 7. Exciting sex questions that will get you talking and sharing your sexual desires, so you can have better and more satisfying sex. And much more. You can have great conversations when you know what questions to ask. You just need the right questions. Open-ended questions that will spark deeper conversations, so you can discover and learn more about yourself, and your partner. Whether you are dating, in a committed relationship, engaged, married, or in a long-distance relationship, this book is for you. Questions for Couples will get you talking for hours, even if you have very little to talk about. Plus because it’s pocket sized, it's easy to take everywhere. Scroll to the top to download your copy of this questions book for couples today. Click the BUY NOW button at the top of this page.
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self
Alice Miller - 1979
I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb.... Without this 'gift' offered us by nature, we would not have survived." But merely surviving is not enough. The Drama of the Gifted Child helps us to reclaim our life by discovering our own crucial needs and our own truth.
Social Wealth: How to Build Extraordinary Relationships By Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Lead and Network
Jason Treu - 2014
Their love life is amazing and they have fantastic friends. They've made all the right connections. They've mastered networking and how to build relationships. They're very persuasive and created significant influence with people. And...all of this has opened up limitless opportunities for them.What's their secret? What breakthroughs have they learned that you haven't?They have figured out the biggest predicator for success is...Social WealthEverything we create in life is with or through other people. No one goes it alone.We value our experiences and relationships with other people above everything else.Your legacy comes down to becoming rich in all your relationships.Stuck in your career? Wishing you could find passionate love in your life? Want to be a top producer in your field? Having trouble building business relationships and networking? Want to improve your leadership, social, communication, and emotional skills? Desire to create more meaningful connections with people in your life? Do you want to have more influence and persuasion? Do you want to be more vulnerable, authentic, confident and courageous?If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions...Social Wealth will give you the blueprint and action steps you've been looking for to achieve the success you desire and deserve.The reality is no one is born with this information and skills. No one sits you down to explain how it works, and you certainly don't learn this in your education. These are learned skills and behaviors.By the time you finish this book, you are going to have a bullet-proof, passion-fueled strategy built on the skills and confidence of learning what others don't know. You will have the power to define what you want, spot potential obstacles to your success, and the tools and skills to get exactly what you want.In this how to guide, you'll learn to:* Create the powerful, life-changing "Social Wealth Mindset™"* Leverage scientifically proven, field-tested human behavior insights* Master essential social, communication, influencer, leadership, charisma and emotional skills* Embrace vulnerability, authenticity, generosity and imperfection to courageously engage with others and create meaningful connections* Create true belonging and build relationships that matter* Develop a "real world" social media plan to put it all together for your personal and professional life.You will also get free guide, 15 Social Wealth Tools, to help you get results quicker.Then it just comes down to a little action, practice, commitment and patience.Don't waste your time, hard work and money any longer. Learn the path to creating the life you want on your terms.
Without Offense: The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism
John Lewis Lund - 1998
Without offense