Good for readers in grades 1-3. Tyler has a monster called Eddie! He is a perfect monster at home- he is well mannered, helps Tyler practice his soccer skills and even cleans the house. But in public, it's a different matter! Eddie farts in public and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Not at all! Although Tyler pleads with him to stop, Eddie won't listen. It all ends in a way Tyler couldn't have imagined!

    

    i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

    

    

    But that's the easy part. The hard part is trying to raise her two teenage sons, Tyrell and Yusuf. She loves to read-- they'd rather play video games. She likes to eat healthy -- they'd rather eat junk food. She loves ol' school music -- they listen to hip hop. But it would all be worth it if they ever came to realize that all she wants to do is to keep them happy and safe. Based on the popular Mama's Boyz syndicated comic strip.

    William Duke of Normandy is to be crowned King of England on Christmas day 1066; and he expects presents. For reasons beyond reason the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle is invited to the ceremony and the only ones who can be let out on their own are Brother Hermitage and Wat the Weaver. But it will be a rush to get there. With only 7 days to travel over 100 miles, the pair must cross a frozen and largely lawless country if they are to make it to Westminster alive. And then there's the problem of Wat's attitude towards gifts in principle. He doesn't mind a reasonable exchange but simply giving sounds like a very poor deal. Perhaps the days of the journey will give Brother Hermitage the opportunity to breath the spirit of the season into his weaving friend. Or perhaps not. Recent reviews for Howard of Warwick continue a theme: 5* "Very funny" 5* "Another demented tale" 5* "Briiiiiliant as always."

    A journey of self-realization and renewed assessment of our lives, marked by silly anecdotes, mindless distractions, and everyday truths. This book is a humorous retelling of the author’s personal blunders and mind-boggling human behavior in general, strung together by a series of hilarious open letters. It is a modest pursuit to deliver a little relief, and diversion from the pandemic’s grim realities. It’s also an attempt to reaffirm the need for a good laugh to help deal with the doom and gloom that now surrounds our lives. Each letter picks up a relatable theme of our lockdown life – be it our obsession with baking banana bread, growing out our beards, or finding the fanciest holiday homes in Goa. What comes out, is a light and delightful offering that anyone living in this era shouldn’t miss. “A breezy read that goes well with your evening tea (like Marie Gold) or finds a permanent spot on your nightstand. A perfect picker-upper if you're feeling down, it reminded me of Bill Bryson's 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' and Hugh Prather's 'Notes to Myself'.”- Manish Bhatt, Founder/CCO August Communications“Hits a cord with everyone who has left the rat race of ‘acquiring new skills’. It is honest, straightforward, and downright hilarious. I loved the book. I found it clutter-breaking, relatable and non-preachy.” - Shilpi Agarwal, Blogger @bookgasmicSome important information:o The book is part memoir, part random lists and part mean musings.o It celebrates the ability to find humor in unexpected predicaments and life in general.o It’s a collection of letters addressed to the most unlikely of receivers, filled with pithy observations, irreverent and ruthless humor about the little idiosyncrasies of life in lockdown.o Each of these perfectly bite sized letters are wonderful accompaniments to the massive mood swings that is our reality in the times of corona.o Under no circumstance, this book is to be taken seriously, seriously.Savor this quick pick-me-up with a hot cup, a pinch of salt and a great deal of grins."

    Follow Mira's story as she faces life as a single mother, wrestles with the constant call of the ocean to her mermaid nature, and joins an all-male salvage team who is less than thrilled to have her. When my mother died, I ran to the ocean like a coward. Its cradle of salt puckered my memories and withered my sorrow like a grape drying in the sun. I had cheated grief and was foolish enough to think I had gotten away with it.When Nathan died, I couldn’t run away. No matter how much I flinched, bending toward the Atlantic the way ivy strains for rays of light, I could not leave. Grief was back to take what belonged to it for the time it was allotted. I had everything I wanted a few short years ago. My mate. My daughter. A home, a family. It made my head spin to think how much could change so suddenly. I mused, wondering later if I was the only mermaid to ever walk fully through the five stages of grief. But I had my daughter.Targa had yet to turn, the color and shape of her fins were yet to be revealed, but she would. I had been so sure of it then. Siren genes are passed from mother to daughter, without fail. Young legs melded into a shimmering virgin tail in response to a salty sea. But Targa didn’t turn in response to ocean water, not the first time, not any time after that. Something was wrong. I shoved my fear down deep into some dark corner where Targa would not see it and said with a smile that we’d just have to keep trying. I had turned at the age of three, but if there could be late-bloomers in the human race, why not ours too?Her fifth birthday came and went, still she hadn’t turned. Concern sent its barbs into me like a thistle, then it rooted and grew.Targa and I had weekly late night secret swims in the Atlantic, which had once been fun but were now polluted with expectation and suspense. Coaching sessions (my idea), where I attempted human psychology exercises I’d found in outdated textbooks at the library; guided visualization, breathing techniques, and even a failed go at hypnosis. The memory of her skinny little frame sitting in a bathtub containing more salt than water (Targa’s idea) is still enough to fill my eyes with moisture.I don’t know exactly when she lost hope, but she hid it expertly, patiently participating however I asked.I ignored the creeping thoughts that whispered in my mind; she didn’t even like water, didn’t really want to go for swim, couldn’t hear the ocean calling her. I would shove the thoughts away violently, excusing them as nothing but my own anxiety. It was ridiculous. A daughter of a mermaid who disliked the ocean. Impossible. When I muzzled those fears, I became aware of others of a different kind. Not my own, but hers, for me.She could see the want in my eyes. Whatever mechanism bees and dogs used to smell fear, Targa had it for despair. She could sense it on me, reeking like cheap perfume. Her eyes dipped in desperation, her obvious desire not to disappoint me sliced through me like a white-hot blade from heart to gut. She thought she was my tormentor. The realization struck like a hammer and gave me the strength to do what was needed: Let it go.The ocean could call. I’d let the smell of it crucify me, the sound of its waves crash against me, echo through me, call me, beg me.Targa’s need and my love for her was greater. If she never turned and I was locked in a land-cycle for the rest of our lives, so be it.So be it.

    A quiet, conservative mother of two, Trish had lived her entire life following the rules. But as soon as Matt and Angie came into her life, the rules changed. It was just a picnic, just like a hundred other picnics all over America. She thought it was wrong for the young man to flirt with her, but she soon found herself slipping away from her husband and walking down to the river in the woods. Of course, she knew the young man would follow her and the things he asked her to do … well, a good woman wouldn’t.

    

    It takes more than listening to NPR on our daily commutes and reading Jon Stewart's Twitter feed in bed while we sip craft beer from artisanal glassware made by at-risk women on another continent to make us global citizens. That won't stop this affable, endearing couple from trying, though.Based on the successful McSweeney's column, Amongst the Liberal Elite takes readers on a cross-country road trip with Alex and Michael, romantic partners whose voices will resonate with fans of shows such as Portlandia, Parks and Recreation, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, and Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver. The couple decides to use their tax refund to reconnect with their fellow Americans via a cross-country road trip and, more specifically, better understand how in the world Trump won the election. In a quest to visit The World's Largest Frying Pan--of which there are six in the U.S.-Alex and Michael embark on a journey marked with personal and societal realizations. Arguments about topics ranging from mom-shaming to misogyny related to their pet cat, unsuccessful attempts at yoga meditations in small spaces, and anticlimactic touristic attractions that deepen their gloom about the nation, bring Alex and Michael clarity about what it means to resist. Amongst the Liberal Elite is the political satire we've all been waiting for-the one that offers comic relief from ourselves.

    (The first book, 'Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War was filmed starring Pauline Collins in the title role.) Mrs Caldicot and her colleagues from the Twilight Years Rest Home win the lottery. Their win is small but it transforms their lives in an unexpected way. A trip abroad results in disaster but Mrs Caldicot and company rise above their misfortune.