If you loved The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, then you should get your hands on this book now! Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle them to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. Then he meets the ex-wife of a missing crime lord, and everything changes. Suddenly he's squirting to distant planets, finding dead bodies, dancing with aliens, saving a world from the clutches of the cutest of aliens and, for one brief moment, he becomes the richest man in the universe. In a tale of treachery, danger, poor customer service and bad jokes, Phil is forced to put aside his relaxed 'let someone else do the work' attitude, and take up arms against the might of an alien empire (well, it's a crow bar actually, and the alien is a little girl; a very tough little girl) and somehow find a way to save the day, and Earth's most valuable commodity, and maybe even his dignity. But where does this story really start? Of course, for Phil, it’s when he first meets the ex-wife of the missing crime lord; it’s typical of him to think it all started with him. For Ben, it would be the misplaced bullet; for Millie, it was, of course, the Joke, and for Sam; well your guess is as good as mine. In reality, it started much earlier; nine years earlier, with the robbery... A laugh a minute science fiction comedy thriller, destined to be one of the decade’s Science Fiction Bestsellers, and it’s also a unique First Contact Novel. If you like your SF books with alien worlds, strangely named AI’s, really bad jokes and a Narrative Facilitator who would really rather be doing something else, then maybe you should add this to your Science Fiction and Fantasy library of Kindle books. Revised September 2015 for greater clarity and added silliness You can find other Comedy Novels & Comedy Thrillers by searching the following categories: Science Fiction Comedy First Contact Comedy thriller Comedy Mystery Books for Kindle Science Fiction Books for Adults Science Fiction and Fantasy Series Comedy Novels

    She has good friends, a family that she loves, good grades, and an after-school job she enjoys. And, she's just been asked out by Zander Cunningham, a popular football player and great guy. But one day when driving home after picking up her little sister from the baby-sitter's, she nearly hits a boy who, after running blindly into the street, mysteriously disappears.The mystery only deepens as she figures out who the boy is; William Rose, a reclusive, awkward boy from school who always has his nose in a pile of books.As she becomes more aware of his behavior it becomes more obvious how out of the ordinary William is and how hard he deliberately tries to blend into the background. This only intrigues her more and she finds herself working to find out more about him, and exactly where he keeps disappearing to.On a whim one night she follows him and suddenly finds herself in a new world. One where William is a prince, literally, and she is treated like a princess. She also discovers that she is stuck; the gate back to her own world isn't always open.Quinn finds herself smack in the middle of a modern-day fairy tale, on a course that will change her life forever.

    It's not the harmful kind that can kill a girl like Olivia. It's the kind that can save her."CRYSTAL FROST tells herself she isn't crazy, but sane people don't see ghosts. As her psychic abilities manifest, Crystal discovers she can see into the future, witness the past, and speak with the dead. Add blackmail to the list of things she never thought would happen to her, and you basically have her sophomore year covered. After spotting her first ghost, secrets from her family, friends, and classmates begin to surface. Uncovering secrets can be dangerous, but giving up means someone will get hurt. Again.

    Okay, not a blown-to-smithereens explosion, but whatever it is always hurts like hell and leaves her life a shambles. She’s already worked her way through five foster placements, and she’s doing whatever she can to avoid getting blasted into a sixth.As her eighteenth birthday approaches and she feels the strange and powerful energy building, disaster looms. When the inevitable explosion occurs, her life gets its biggest shakeup yet. She’ll not only learn how her fellow foster and best friend, Gabriel, really feels about her, but she’ll discover that she isn’t really without family.To top it all off, she’ll finally find out why she’s having the power surges: she isn’t entirely human.Amber must Become, transitioning to another plane of existence and risking the loss of the most important relationship she’s ever had. Her choice will impact the future of an entire race of beings, and will pit her against an enemy that will prey upon her doubt to try and take her very life.Kind of makes the explosions now seem like a cakewalk.

    Through Cyrus, Jack receives a full education in all usual subjects―economics, literature, mathematics, history―as well as one unique skill useful to a person in Cyrus's position: assassination. With the help of Roland James, a man incapable of dying, Cyrus hones Jack into the perfect weapon to use against all who oppose him.It is not long, however, before Jack discovers that Cyrus and Roland are not the only ones living in Cyrus’s mansion. There, too, exists a mysterious creature in the depths of the house with supposed immortal magic. According to Roland, this creature is responsible for all the miraculous things Jack has witnessed throughout her childhood, including Roland’s resurrection. The creature, potent and powerful, only weakens in the presence of Cyrus’s red velvet box―a dark, enchanted tool that grants Cyrus his invincibility and ensures his reign.Lonely and terrified by her life in the cult, under Cyrus's neverending watch, Jack desperately pursues the mysterious being. When they finally meet, her world is turned upside down, as he offers her more than she could have ever expected―the possibility of escape and her own secret, magical power.

    There are no regular people anymore."Ten years ago when the world ended she ran for her life.Five weeks ago the world she'd hidden from came knocking on the door of her secluded cabin.Ten days ago she found salvation hiding amongst the dead.Yesterday she went back for the living.Today she wonders if she will live to see tomorrow.What do you do when the world you were born to is gone?Where do you hide when even your own body isn't safe?Emma ran when her daddy told her to. She hid like he said she should. He was the first person she turned her back on. The first one she let die.Ten years has gone by and she still lives by the simple rules he taught her when she was nine years old."Don't help anyone. Don't go where other people are unless you have to. Trust no one. Always pull the trigger."Until one night she hears the worst sound in the world, a knock. A simple, timid knock, on the door to her cabin.Only the voice of the brave little girl, ready to die for her brother, persuades Emma to open the door.As her fingers turn the lock, she has a terrible feeling she will regret her decision.But even as regret fills her world, so do love and companionship. Things she never imagined she would ever have again.Everything comes at a cost; you decide what you'll pay.

    Unbeknownst to him, there’s a reason why he’s always the odd boy out: he is an Oddfit, a rare type of human with access to the More Known World, a land invisible to most people. Yet unfortunate circumstances keep Murgatroyd stranded in the Known World, bumbling through life with the feeling that an extraordinary something is waiting for him just beyond reach.Seventeen years later, that something finally arrives when a secret organization dedicated to exploring the More Known World invites Murgatroyd on a mission. But as the consummate loser begins to grow into the Oddfit he was meant to be, the Known World becomes bent on exterminating him. For once in his underachieving life, will Murgatroyd Floyd exceed expectations and outsmart those trying to thwart his stupendous destiny?

    A haunting historical thriller set in Britain's North Yorkshire Moors about isolation, superstition and persecution, The Haunting of Thores-Cross explores 18th century life in a picturesque but isolated village in the North Yorkshire Moors. When a vulnerable young girl is ostracised within her community and accused of witchcraft, the descendants of her neighbours will suffer for centuries to come.*Silver Medal Winner, European fiction - 2015 IPPY Book Awards *#1 Bestseller in 6 Amazon Categories, including Ghost Suspense, British Horror and Gothic Romance*Top 10 Bestseller in 8 more, including Historical Thrillers and Occult Horror*Over 100 5-STAR reviews on Amazon.com Likened by independent reviewers on Amazon to the Brontë sisters, Edgar Allen Poe, Barbara Erskine and Nathaniel Hawthorne, Karen Perkins' novels are filled with unflinching honesty and an acute understanding of human nature. She explores not only the depths of humanity, but the depths of human motivation behind the actions and pain people inflict upon each other, as well as the repercussions of these actions not only in the short term, but also the later generations who live with the implications of the past. Emma Moorcroft is still grieving after a late miscarriage and moves to her dream house at Thruscross Reservoir with her husband, Dave. Both Emma and Dave hope that moving into their new home signifies a fresh start, but life is not that simple. Emma has nightmares about the reservoir and the drowned village that lies beneath the water, and is further disturbed by the sound of church bells - from a church that no longer exists. Jennet is fifteen and lives in the isolated community of Thores-Cross, where life revolves about the sheep on which they depend. Following the sudden loss of both her parents, she is seduced by the local wool merchant, Richard Ramsgill. She becomes pregnant and is shunned not only by Ramsgill, but by the entire village. Lonely and embittered, Jennet's problems escalate, leading to tragic consequences which continue to have an effect through the centuries. Emma becomes fixated on Jennet, neglecting herself, her beloved dogs and her husband to the point where her marriage may not survive. As Jennet and Emma's lives become further entwined, Emma's obsession deepens and she realises that the curse Jennet inflicted on the Ramsgill family over two hundred years ago is still claiming lives. Emma is the only one who can stop Jennet killing again, but will her efforts be enough? The Haunting of Thores-Cross was previously titled Thores-Cross.The Yorkshire Ghost Stories are all stand-alone, complete books, and can be read in any order

    Assembling a team of experts and sparing no expense, he aims to precisely recreate the circumstances of the Valkyrie’s doomed final voyage. Little does Feldman or his team know that the ship has an agenda of its own. As the Valkyrie begins to weave its deadly web, Kate realizes that she must not only save herself, but the world as she knows it.

    But when her dad is murdered, and her college savings disappear, she's tempted to peek inside, as the contents might be key to a lucrative chemistry scholarship.To better her odds, Jill enlists the help of gorgeous, brooding Tristen Hyde, who has his own dark secrets locked away. As the team of Jekel and Hyde, they recreate experiments based on the classic novel, hoping not only to win a prize, but to save Tristen’s sanity. Maybe his life. But Jill’s accidental taste of a formula unleashes her darkest nature and compels her to risk everything – even Tristen’s love – just for the thrill of being… bad.

    Once there, Will and six other teenagers take turns in mysterious fear chambers and confront their worst nightmares—with the help of the group facilitator, Rainsford, an enigmatic guide. When the patients emerge from the chamber, they feel emboldened by the previous night's experiences. But each person soon discovers strange, unexplained aches and pains. . . . What is really happening to the seven teens trapped in this dark Eden? Patrick Carman's Dark Eden is a provocative exploration of fear, betrayal, memory, and— ultimately—immortality.

    Willing to risk everything for a chance at a normal life, Roseline escapes to America. Terrified her husband Vladimir will find her, Roseline enrolls as a senior in Chicago's elite Rosewood Prep school. Mingling with humans is the last place he would look for her. But her transition into the human world isn't easy. Mortal men flock after her while cutthroat girls plot her demise. Yet Roseline remains relatively unfazed by the petty hysteria until she falters into the arms of Gabriel Marston, reluctant MVP quarterback, unwilling ladies man, and sensitive artist in hiding. Troubled by the bond that pulls her towards the mortal boy, Roseline tries to ignore him, but Gabriel is persistent. As their lives entwine, Roseline begins to realize that Gabriel is much more than he appears. His ability to toss a football the entire length of the field and grind concrete into dust pales in comparison to the glowing blue cross tattoo that mysteriously appears on his forearms. Despite the forbidden bond between them, Roseline can't help wondering what Gabriel is: He's not human. He's not Immortal. So just what is he?

    She wakes up in the morning with bags under her eyes, lifeless hair, and a hunger like she’s never had before.Her mother—former doctor and current personal chef to Gracie—insists that these changes are hormonal. But Grace is growing skeptical of her mom’s knowledge on the matter, especially after Grace willingly dines on Fluffy, the very delicious four-legged neighborhood feline. When her mom introduces Grace to Dr. Walker, he promises to help her curb her sudden craving for living things…in another country. Grace can’t leave her life behind, not when her long-time crush, Tristen, is finally showing some interest. But when a couple of serious crimes are committed—assault and murder—Grace must decide whether or not to run away. It may be the only way to protect the people she cares about…from herself.

    Her younger brother, Jordan, is having no problem fitting in and making friends.Everyone on Castine Island is anxiously awaiting the arrival of the purple moon, caused by a comet entering the Earth's atmosphere. Scientists expected this thrilling phenomenon and food companies are churning out purple-colored products in celebration of the comet’s arrival.The morning following the comet’s debut Abby and Jordan make a chilling discovery: every adult on the island is dead. The children of the island band together to withstand their new circumstances, and the older kids quickly learn a gripping truth about their own ticking clocks. It's only a matter of time before they succumb to the comet bacteria, but can they raise the next generation to survive?"Frightening and inspiring" - Kirkus Reviews. Riveting dystopian drama for all ages (13+)Alternate Cover edition for ISBN 9780615637082

    Like much of the destroyed planet, the place knows only one temperature—freezing. But some things never change. The diamond in the ice desert is still a 24-hour hedonistic playground and nothing keeps the crowds away from the casino floors, never mind the rumors about sinister sorcery in its shadows.At the heart of this city is Natasha Kestal, a young blackjack dealer looking for a way out. Like many, she's heard of a mythical land simply called “the Blue.” They say it’s a paradise, where the sun still shines and the waters are turquoise. More importantly, it’s a place where Nat won’t be persecuted, even if her darkest secret comes to light.But passage to the Blue is treacherous, if not impossible, and her only shot is to bet on a ragtag crew of mercenaries led by a cocky runner named Ryan Wesson to take her there. Danger and deceit await on every corner, even as Nat and Wes find themselves inexorably drawn to each other. But can true love survive the lies? Fiery hearts collide in this fantastic tale of the evil men do and the awesome power within us all.