Disapproving Rabbits
Sharon Stiteler - 2007
Feed them tasty veggies, they'll disapprove of your culinary skills. Sit together in your yard, and they'll disapprove of your gardening (even as they devour it).Long thought of as mindless raiders of gardens and happy couriers of colored eggs, it's almost as if rabbits have been getting the best of us for years, secretly disapproving of all our non-rabbit ways.Fortunately Sharon Stiteler, known as the Bird Chick for her work in the birding community, began to notice something not-quite-right about her pet rabbit Cinnamon. It appeared that Cinnamon didn't approve . . . of anything. After studying a great many photos, Sharon has soundly and without-out-a-doubt proved that rabbits have some major attitude.
We're All Damaged
Matthew Norman - 2016
He had a solid job. He ran 5Ks for charity. He was living a nice, safe Midwestern existence. And then his wife left him for a handsome paramedic down the street.We’re All Damaged begins after Andy has lost his job, ruined his best friend’s wedding, and moved to New York City, where he lives in a tiny apartment with an angry cat named Jeter that isn’t technically his. But before long he needs to go back to Omaha to say good-bye to his dying grandfather.Back home, Andy is confronted with his past, which includes his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, his right-wing talk-radio-host mother, his parents’ crumbling marriage, and his still-angry best friend.As if these old problems weren’t enough, Andy encounters an entirely new complication: Daisy. She has fifteen tattoos, no job, and her own difficult past. But she claims she is the only person who can help Andy be happy again, if only she weren’t hiding a huge secret that will mess things up even more. Andy Carter needs a second chance at life, and Daisy—and the person Daisy pushes Andy to become—may be his last chance to set things right.
The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book
Tim Vine - 2010
Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
The Other Shulman
Alan Zweibel - 2005
Another Shulman. A Shulman he never really cared for. A Shulman he'd always tried to lose by dieting and exercising. A Shulman he'd cover by wearing extra-large shirts in an attempt to hide his existence.This has been just a joke until, at a crossroads marked by overwhelming marital and business stress, he actually encounters this Other Shulman-an incredibly successful man who's made life and career choices that Shulman has spurned.At first, the Other Shulman is but a mere nuisance, a source of frustration brought about by mistaken identity. But as time goes by, his actions become increasingly destructive and threaten to sabotage all aspects of Shulman's existence.The struggle between the two Shulmans comes to a head while Shulman is running in the New York City Marathon. And it is during the course of this race, as he runs through the old neighborhoods where his life took shape, that this ordinarily passive family man examines all the choices he's made and realizes that in order for him to get his life back on track he must confront and overcome his haunting demons as presented in the form of this angry doppelg�nger, this Other Shulman.In 26.2 chapters, one for each mile of the marathon, The Other Shulman is a hilarious and affecting tale of identity and aspiration from one of America's best-known comic writers.
Crying With Laughter: My Life Story
Bob Monkhouse - 1993
One of Britain's most enduring and famous comedians tells us in his own inimitable style the fascinating and often hilarious story of his life. From disclosures of very painful personal tragedies to extraordinary and outrageously funny anecdotes about the stars he knew, his confessions are blisteringly honest, touching - and often shocking. Crying With Laughter combines heartache with hilarity, sexy showbiz revelations with genuinely moving tales of the hard times, and typically funny jokes with sobering personal reflections, to create a passionate, witty and sparkling account of an extraordinary man's extraordinary life.
WTF?: How to Survive 101 of Life's Worst F*#!-ing Situations
Gregory Bergman - 2008
You go to save the presentation that's taken you all week to complete—only to discover it's corrupt. Your bank slaps you with a $25 charge for overdrafting 25 cents… And all you can think is…WTF?Luckily for you, this book fills in the blanks and gives you humorous ideas for what to do when life makes them say, "what the f*#!?" Step by step, the authors take readers through inventively therapeutic, sometimes illegal, always hilarious solutions to life's many problematic situations.Whether it happens at the office or at home, out on the town or in the bedroom, life's most f*#!'ed-up situations are covered in this entertaining guide. Rather than turn lemons into lemonade, this book spits lemon juice into life's eye and gives it a good kick to the junk.
Unleash the Warrior Within: Develop the Focus, Discipline, Confidence and Courage You Need to Achieve Unlimited Goals
Richard J. Machowicz - 2002
A ten-year veteran of the Navy SEALs, he was trained to complete whatever mission was handed to him, under any condition, because failure was not an option. Now, in Unleash the Warrior Within, Machowicz takes the winning attitude and mental skills he mastered in service and shows readers how to use combat mentality to reach their goals in everyday life. Using his seven principles of combat—which include Create an Action Mind-Set, The Critical Keys to Conquering Anything, and Guarantee the Win—Machowicz shows readers how to master the arts of focus, discipline, and determination under any circumstances, giving them the tools they need to conquer fear and turn their ambitions and dreams into reality. A new preface is included in this paperback edition of this inspiring guide. "Machowicz gives you the tools necessary to ensure that you win in the battle of life."—Jim Rome, host of the nationally syndicated radio show, The Jungle, and FOX television's The Last Word
The Big Book of Parenting Tweets
Kate Hall - 2014
Jokes? People tell jokes on Twitter? YES, they do. And they are hilarious ... but who wants to sift through the hashtags, RTs and FFs to get to the good stuff? WE GET IT! Parents don’t have time for all that. That’s why the duo behind the illustrated humor blog Science of Parenthood teamed up with Twitter maven Kate Hall of Hall of Tweets to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets —a laugh-riot collection of more than three-hundred tweetable moments straight from the parenting trenches from the most hysterical comedians on Twitter, who just happen to be parents. Here is just a peek at some of what you’ll find inside:My 4yo is trying to sell my own M&M's back to me. This guy's going places.— @FatherWithTwinsWith my wife away, my children keep asking me for things like meals and bandaids and sympathy, but I don't know where we keep any of that.— @KalvinMacleodShe took 4 y/o to the park & texted "Can I get her ice-cream?"Get her a Heineken for all I care. Free babysitters get to call the shots.— @BunmiLaditanI wish bottles of ibuprofen came with a little prize inside, like maybe a babysitter.— @SuburbanSnapsTo anyone out there thinking about having kids, today my 2yo threw a temper tantrum because she couldn’t get rid of her shadow. — @XplodingUnicornPeppered with cartoons by Science of Parenthood, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets is the perfect gift for every over-worked, under-showered, sleep-deprived parent who could use a quick laugh, because who has time for more?
Who Stole My Spandex?: Life in the Hot Flash Lane
Marcia Kester Doyle - 2016
Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.
The Underminer: Or, the Best Friend Who Casually Destroys Your Life
Mike Albo - 2005
The Underminer makes you feel suicidal. But the Underminer is your friend...Mike Albo and Virginia Heffernan do us all a public service by capturing the elusive evils of an age-old archetype. To understand and resist your toxic friend, you need The Underminer.
My Mom Is a Fob: Earnest Advice in Broken English from Your Asian-American Mom
Teresa Wu - 2010
("fresh off the boat")Does your mom still make Peking duck instead of turkey on Thanksgiving, own a giant cleaver, or take twenty-four more napkins than she needs at Chipotle?Your mom may be a fob.Through their hit blog "My Mom Is a Fob," Teresa and Serena Wu have seized ownership of this formerly derogatory term, applying it instead to the heartfelt, hilarious, and thoroughly unique ways that Asian mothers adapt to American culture, from the perspective of those who love them most: their children.Through texts, emails, phone calls, and more, My Mom Is a Fob showcases the stories of a community of Asian-American kids who know exactly what it's like to be on the receiving end of that amazing, unconditional, and sometimes misspelled love. It's about those Asian mothers who refuse to get in the car without their sun-protective arm sheaths, the ones who send us passive-aggressive text messages "from the dog" in hopes that we'll call home, and email us unsolicited advice about everything from homosexuality to constipation. In these pages you'll find solace in the fact that thousands of moms out there are as painfully nosy, unintentionally hilarious, and endearingly fobby as yours is.
Real Men Don't Rehearse
Justin Locke - 2005
It is filled with dozens of humorous tales of musician antics and concert meltdowns. Outsiders are rarely allowed such access, but at last you can have your own personal tour of the mystical and magical realm of professional orchestras and the people who play in them. "Real Men Don't Rehearse" was written by Justin Locke, who spent 18 seasons as a professional freelance double bassist in Boston. He played with the Boston Symphony and the Boston Pops, as well as for ballets, operas, and Broadway shows. He is also well known in the symphonic world as the author of "Peter VS. the Wolf" and "The Phantom of the Orchestra," which are internationally acclaimed programs for orchestra family concerts. This is the perfect gift for your favorite music lover! This is a book no musical library should be without!
More Coke or Pepsi
Mickey Gill - 2007
Soul-searching and sometimes silly questions reveal what your friends are made of! Little kids are fun or annoying? What did you watch on TV last night? Favorite thing hanging on your room wall? If you could invent something what would it be?
Vet Among the Pigeons
Gillian Hick - 2010
Although by now, not such a green graduate, the animals and their owners keep her challenged in a way never described in the text books.