Bill Ryder STILL isn’t one of them.This omnibus edition contains the FINAL FOUR books of the bestselling Tome of Bill series - over 2000 pages of kick-ass action and geeky humor. A supernatural war, an ancient goddess, and a prophecy stating he’s destined to kill the woman he loves. Geek turned vampire Bill Ryder really doesn’t need this shit right now. Too bad that fate says otherwise. Now he’s got to become the hero he never wanted to be because otherwise the world and everyone in it will be royally screwed.Includes: GODDAMNED FREAKY MONSTERS (Book 5) Three months have passed since Bill Ryder mysteriously disappeared. Now he’s back and just in time because civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. An ancient evil, the last remnant of a cult thought long dead, is about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times. Bill’s only chance is to muster his friends and every last bit of attitude he can – because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying. HALF A PRAYER (Book 6) An unstoppable terror has awoken deep beneath the Earth and it’s headed Bill’s way. To make matters worse, he’s been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his feelings for the woman he loves. Talk about lousy timing for introspection. As the world crumbles around him, Bill must rise to the destiny he’s been trying to deny – because if he doesn’t, his love life will be the least of his worries. THE WICKED DEAD (Book 7) Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he’s destined to face. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything he knows and loves. Why can’t the end of the world ever be easy? THE LAST COVEN (Book 8) A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That’s a lot of crap to heap on anyone’s plate, but that’s exactly what Bill Ryder has to deal with. It’s finally time for him to master his powers, sort out his relationship woes, and figure out how to survive his date with destiny. Because if he can’t get his act together, the curtain will fall and mankind will be forever plunged into everlasting darkness. Join Bill in these tales full of monsters, mayhem, and foul-mouthed laughs. If you enjoy Jim Butcher, Kevin Hearne, or K.F. Breene then you're in for a bloody good time. Click BUY NOW and dive into the complete series today.

    Our friends in Bon Temps just can't seem to catch a break these days. Sookie Stackhouse's world is turned upside down when contaminated bottles of Tru Blood cause the Southern Vampire population to go berserk! Looks like those growing human/vampire tensions aren't going to simmer down anytime soon! But who (or what) is behind the bad "Blood"? And Hoyt plans to do what for Jessica?! The latest "head-turning" story arc of the True Blood comic series starts here! Co-Written by Michael McMillian, "Steve Newlin" from the show, with fan-favorite Marc Andreyko!

    Unlike the millions before her, she survives. Afraid she is a carrier of the disease, Alice abandons her family and disappears into what remains of the world. Bodies litter the streets. Cities lie in waste. The government ceases to exist. What the Withering doesn't destroy, the Clan kills, cleansing the world of those they hold responsible. Those like Alice.Then one night Alice meets Brandon. He brings word of a rural town untouched by the sickness. He promises a future. He reminds her of what it means to feel... of what it means to love.Yet the Clan is watching. They're always watching.

    On their travels, Edward works to overcome the challenge of reintegrating with his siblings and parents. They try to work together in search of a brighter future, all feel the strain of losing their home and livelihood. Edward is not the same boy as when he left home and must balance his hard-fought independence with his role as brother and son.Despite optimism for the future and escaping the destruction of Azalon, a dark threat looms over the family’s hope of rebuilding. Edward’s skills continue to progress, but will it be enough to protect the family’s fragile beginnings? Overcoming his own fears and personal demons is the biggest challenge Edward must face as he chooses a future with his family, or one of an adventurer.

    

    But with every step toward freedom, Alex finds there will be no escaping the secret horrors and nightmarish creatures haunting his endless nights until he confronts and destroys the prison’s mastermind.This ebook bundle includes all five books in the series from author Alexander Gordon Smith: Lockdown, Solitary, Death Sentence, Fugitives, and Execution. Also included is the companion short story, The Night Children.“Fresh and ferocious . . . will hook boys with its gritty, unrelenting surprises.” —James Patterson, author of the Maximum Ride series “Furnace is hotter than hell and twice as much fun.” —Darren Shan, author of the Demonata series

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    Zane and Luna go on a date and discover some deeply hidden secrets about one another.

    Rain and H.P. Mallory!My name is Lucy Westenra. And I hunt monsters.You might remember me—I was one of the first unfortunates turned by Dracula.Well, the count might think he turned me, but I was saved by witch magic. Owing to an elixir created by high witch, Lissa Ravenwood, I’m mostly humam... as long as I take the elixir every three days.But the vampire within me is always there in the background, threatening to turn me into a creature I detest. The count, Vlad, wants exactly that—for me to succumb to my darker side and return to him. He considers me his fledgling, his love, his creation.I consider him a royal pain in my backside.Regardless, I still need Vlad. Well, I need his help on a particularly difficult case...Because I’m in control of my vampire side, and I’m stronger and faster than your average human, I work as a bounty hunter, specializing in apprehending things that go bump in the night. I guess it takes a monster to catch a monster.And the case I’m on now is giving me apoplexy...Students at Lissa’s witch academy are falling ill—clearly under the effects of Hyde, an illegal street drug. When another young woman’s mutilated body is found in an alley, I realize we’ve got a murderer on the loose. And I have a feeling the two cases are tied… I’m just not sure how or why.As if that isn’t stress-inducing enough, the vampire council is in town, and that means I need Vlad’s protection. What I don’t need is his constant amorous attempts...Sigh. It’s just another day in the unlife of Lucy Westenra, a girl who hunts monsters and hasn’t had a date in over a decade...

    Roland grew up halfway to nowhere. His father is human and his mother is elf. Being Half-Elf would always bring difficulties and it also brought about innate magic. He heads off for adventure joining the Adventures Guild. The world is tough and Roland is an innocent. He discovers he is unique in more than one way. Danger is everywhere especially for those who adventure. He makes a decision that will affect him for the rest of his life. The he realizes he has made a rash decision. It might turn out good or it might turn out bad. He just doesn't know enough but he is committed. His unique gifts are needed and he heeds the call for help.

    *** It sounds like just another urban legend -- a clock appears in your home, ticking backward to midnight, and when the twelfth chime rings, the recipient is gruesomely murdered. But when Kristen receives a clock of her own, ticking backward to her doom, she must unravel its mysteries. Mysteries that have their roots in her family, and that will lead her through generations of madness. The clock is ticking, and when it reaches midnight, Kristen will discover that some urban legends are real, and sometimes the dead do not stay dead. It's only a matter of time...

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    But the heart came from a vampire, and he wants it back. The heart of a vampire is a powerful and valuable thing. From rabid dog-monsters to mysterious con-men and clandestine government agencies, there's no shortage of people who are after the heart that now beats in Maddy's chest. As people start dying all around her, Maddy begins to realize that she's in mortal danger. A mysterious figure arrives on the scene, offering to save her, but can even he be trusted? Maddy must make a decision fast, and the consequences could change the world forever. Will Maddy get to keep her heart? Who will win the struggle to win her trust? Why did one of the world's most powerful vampires lose his heart in the first place? And what dark forces are working behind the scenes to change the fate of the entire world?

    

    But their haunted, twisted past with Skinner Sweet makes the mission more difficult than they imagined.Superstar artist Sean Murphy (JOE THE BARBARIAN) joins Scott Snyder to tell a story of horror and history, expanding the American Vampire mythology in a way that changes this story forever.