Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

    She has lost her family, boyfriends, and her peace of mind. She has given up on a happily ever after because everyone she loves has either died or been threatened because of her. When she decides to come out of hiding due to unexpected circumstances, she meets a man just as broken as her. The attraction is undeniable but will her demons come to kill the new love that is developing. Twenty- five year old Roland "Ro" Symir Casey deals in death. His whole world is killing, money, and revenge. He is cold- hearted and doesn't care about anybody but his family, his brother Raymond, his father Rodney, and his best friend Ace. He has no room in his heart for love or so he thought. That changes when he collides with Aja, Ace's little sister. When he's asked to protect her he finds his cold heart thawing. The problem is he has a situation with Tyesha and an even darker enemy. His anger. "Unknown" She has always been mine and no one can have her but me. Many have tried and failed it cost them their lives. She is my angel and I will do anything to keep her.............

    A few too many drinks.A few harsh words said. No one was hurt.All easily forgotten.Both can healExcept he didn’t forget. Their threats. How they made him feel…They must pay - with their lives.But one will always leave a scar…A young woman goes missing. She’s done it before, but Detective Inspector April Decent senses this time it’s serious. Can she convince her colleagues she’s right before it’s too late?Decent and her DS Skeeter Warlock face their most deadly opponent yet in Syn, the second novel in Malcolm Hollingdrake’s superb Merseyside Crime Series.

    There’s Killer of the Cloth, The Baby in the Convent, Mosquito Point Road, Death of a First Baseman, The Blue Gardenia, and Pure/Evil. Three of the killers are female.

    Laughing also gives us long term effects as well, it improves our immune system, relieves pain, increase personal satisfaction and improves our mood. Laughter is really a great medicine, and most of the time it is free. You may just have a funny conversation with your family or friends, watch a funny movie or sitcom, or just ready funny books. Remember, in life the best ornament is humility; the richest wealth is wisdom; the strongest weapon is patience; the best security is faith; the best mental tonic is laughter. Live well, laugh often, love much and share God's blessings. Read our collection of jokes and funny short stories. These jokes and funny stories are collected from different sources in the Internet. Download our book now, and laugh out those stress away. Please note that this book is categorized under Jokes for Adults and may contain some offensive jokes and stories, and it is your discretion as a customer whether to share the jokes and stories with others.

    It is the follow-up book to Police, Crime & 999, a book which still remains hugely popular today, with over 250 5-star Amazon reviews, and which garnered positive feedback from a number of national publications:‘Everything is included in this warts-and-all account. Very funny’ The Sun‘A treasure trove of a book – a wonderfully informative and addictive read, full of belly laughs’ The Non-Fiction Book ClubWARNING: Contains Humour & Traces of Nuts

    Flip-flops are optional. All of your favorite hilarious Fun Stories gathered together in one place! Plus, extended versions of many of your laugh out loud favorites. PRAISE FOR FUN STORIES: “The offbeat & heartwarming humor kept me turning pages due to its rollicking adventures in every chapter. Your friends, loved ones, and co-workers will enjoy it too." "It's very funny and on point observational humor” “Has me laughing from beginning to end” "Similar to Dave Barry, Eric Idle, and Stephen Colbert's humor" “This guy's funny and charmingly off the wall” "Always thought coffee could get me through the midweek blues, but this blows it out of the water" "I love Fun Stories. Fantastic!" "Awesome stuff, really enjoyed the horse names. Great read." "Excellent and hilarious material here" INCLUDES ALL OF THESE AND MANY MORE: "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio" "The Least Amount of Fame Possible (Old MacDonald)" "Cub Scout Dropout" "Not the Next Carrie Underwood" "Bigfoot Popcorn" "Gatorade For Your Soul" "Shamelessly Suggestive City Names" "I'm the Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling" "Alright, Alright, Alright!" "Mind Game of Thrones" "Happy Friday (Mr. Pee Man)" "Clown Commuter Award" "How NASA Thins The Herd" "Crunchy Roads, Take Me Home" "Good Folks, Bad Coaching" "Ultimate Waitress Revenge" "Battle of the Bands" You'll be smiling for hours as the pages turn themselves. Three Fun Stories books have hit #1 on Amazon Humor. Five audio tracks from this book have hit the top 10 on the iTunes comedy chart. Click to download the book and start the fun! Need more info? If you enjoy the humor of these folks, you'll love reading Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Dave Barry, Dilbert, David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore, Jim Gaffigan, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, Eric Idle, Erma Bombeck, Sebastian Maniscalco, Mindy Kaling, Jen Lancaster, Amy Lyle, The Far Side, Kevin Allison, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Sloane Crosley, Jimmy Fallon, Steve Martin, Judd Apatow, Adam Mansbach, Justin Halpern, Reader’s Digest, Dad Jokes, Garfield, Saturday Night Live, Friends, and The Office. Download Fun Stories Greatest Hits to start your next comedy adventure! Enjoy Fun Stories video posts at www.facebook.com/FunStoriesSeries. Get a free Fun Pack at www.mentalkickball.com. HUMOR, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT, PARENTING & FAMILIES, PARODIES, SATIRE, ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES, CELEBRITY & POPULAR CULTURE, COMEDY, CULTURAL, ETHNIC & REGIONAL, CARTOONS, JOKES & RIDDLES, MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, POP CULTURE, RADIO, TELEVISION, PERFORMING ARTS, FUNNY BOOKS, HUMOR ESSAYS, FUNNY SHORT STORIES, FUNNY MEMOIR, HUMOR MEMOIR, FUNNY BOOK CLUB BOOKS, FUNNY ESSAYS, HUMOR BOOKS, HUMOROUS BOOKS, GIFTS FOR DAD, FUNNY GIFTS, LAUGH, LAUGH OUT LOUD, FUN, FUN, FUN, MORE COWBELL COWBELL

    However, shit happened and I was somehow summoned. However, in some strange twist of fate, I was no longer needed and disposed of, but that’s okay because I didn’t want to be a summoned hero to begin with. My new beginning may have been abruptly cut short, but even so, that is fine. There is a path I’m much more interested in. Mwuhahaha! Cough cough cough. Though, my sinister laugh may still need some practice.

    Why would a man, married to an attractive young woman, want to sexually assault and murder innocent little girls?In the late 1960s, Cannock Chase in Staffordshire became the centre of the biggest murder hunt in Britain.The bodies of five year old Diane Tift, six year old Margaret Reynolds, and seven year old Christine Darby were found dumped there.The killer thought he was cleverer than the police and slipped through the net four times.He would have continued with the killings but he made a big mistake.Find out what happened and how the police eventually caught up with him.

    Because she and her husband, Brian, work together, they have little to talk about. And the heat between the sheets has definitely cooled. Her only diversion these days seems to be the usual neighborhood gossip. She likes to think she's inquisitive. Brian says she's a snoop.Lately, her nosy nature has escalated. She's gotten it into her head that a house down the road might be used to make adult films. Her clues? The blinds are always drawn, and there are never any garbage cans at the curb. She’s determined to get to the bottom of the mystery, but if her snooping keeps uncovering unexpected dirt, it may very well be the last thing she ever does.

    Twelve years have passed since Trengillion was covered in a deep blanket of snow and since then much has changed. Ned Stanley, the village school's headmaster, has retired and the inn is, yet again, under new ownership. Throughout Cornwall, businesses are making final preparations for the half a million extra tourists predicted to visit the county in August for the much hyped solar eclipse. An event which, unbeknown to the residents of the peaceful fishing village, will bring in its wake far more than a large influx of holiday makers. A Celestial Affair is the sixth book in a series of seven set in Cornwall on the beautiful Lizard Peninsula. The books cover a timespan of sixty years.

    

    Her quirky attitude and sunny disposition all come naturally on her quest to find inner peace. The only forcing drive that can seem to knock her off her square is True Jones. Violent, egocentric, and just plain inconsiderate, he’s the only man she’s ever been in love with, and he has been her BFF since grade school. One night of selfish passion changes things dramatically, causing a crack in the foundation they’ve built on trust and understanding. True continues with his womanizing ways, leaving Chance to question his loyalty. Unsure of where their spiraling friendship is headed, they find themselves lost in love. Holding onto the little hope she has left, Chance must decide if giving her all to a gangsta is worth the risk.

    The clock is ticking, but Henry pulls inspiration from the least likely places to defend his innocent client.