Meet the 38 stones man who has never flown before and stands fat chance of ever doing so. The man who thinks his distinct Turkish looks won't go down very with the locals in the Greek half of Cyprus. The passenger who wants to enjoy the flight with his inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. The man who suspects his false teeth may have been stolen by one of the cabin crew. Meet these delightful people plus many, many more, and enjoy the funniest read you'll have had for ages. If you enjoyed the Henry Root Letters you'll love Dear Air 2000..

    After the Collapse of 2028, a vast section of LA, the Disincorporated Zone, was disowned by the civil authorities, and became essentially a third world country within the borders of the city. Navigating the boundaries between DZ and LA proper is a tricky task, and there's no one better suited than eccentric private investigator Erasmus Keane. When a valuable genetically altered sheep mysteriously goes missing from Esper Corporation's labs, Keane is the one they call.But while the erratic Keane and his more grounded partner, Blake Fowler, are on the trail of the lost sheep, they land an even bigger case. Beautiful television star Priya Mistry suspects that someone is trying to kill her - and she wants Keane to find out who. When Priya vanishes and then reappears with no memory of having hired them, Keane and Fowler realize something very strange is going on. As they unravel the threads of the mystery, it soon becomes clear that the two cases are connected - and both point to a sinister conspiracy involving the most powerful people in the city. Saving Priya and the sheep will take all of Keane's wits and Fowler's skills, but in the end, they may discover that some secrets are better left hidden.Kroese's The Big Sheep is perfect for fans of Philip Dick's Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, Terry Pratchett's Guards! Guards!, and Scalzi's Old Man's War.

    When his two-year-old colt Goldeneye takes the July Stakes at Newmarket in some style, it seems he can lift Rob's failing business out of the mire. But there's a tragedy waiting round the corner...Rob’s head girl Ivana, a horse-mad beauty from the Czech Republic, would also revel in Goldeneye’s triumph except for the terrifying reappearance of her sadistic ex-lover Milos. She’s run a long way to escape from him - but it looks like she hasn’t run far enough...

    Lucy lives in a Berkshire village with her two friends, Jane and Bella, and works in the marketing department of Widgetex Computers. Her boss - Slave Driver - is a constant bane; her family are lovable eccentrics; her boyfriend, the dishy but fickle Greg, takes shameless advantage of her (Lucy is too good hearted to notice). Throughout two action-packed, fun-filled, disaster-strewn years, Lucy charts an erratic course among this motley crew to her very own happy ending.

    I’m young and I want to move on. Am I a bad person?• Why does my boyfriend always adjust himself in public?• My wife dresses like a slut. How do I make her stop?• My boyfriend’s number one friend on MySpace is his ex. Should I be concerned?With he-said, she-said advice that is both raw and honest, What Do We Do Now? is sure to appeal to the podcast’s legion of fans, and attract a brand-new audience tired of the tried-and-not-so-true relationship manuals.

    With no witnesses and no leads, DI Lukas Mahler races against time to find her. But is it already too late for Erin - and will her abductor stop at one stolen child?And the discovery of human remains on a construction site near Inverness confronts Mahler's team with a cold case from the 1940s. Was Aeneas Grant's murder linked to a nearby POW camp, or is there an even darker story to be uncovered?With his team stretched to the limit, Mahler's hunt for Erin's abductor takes him from Inverness to the Lake District. And decades-old family secrets link both cases in a shocking final twist.

    Meredith can keep the manuscript to herself, or publish it under her own name. Her decision results in a bestseller, but the novel contains a coded secret; one that will put her on trial for murder and in hiding from "the blood stalker," proving too late that making a deal with the devil comes at a heavy price.

    Fourteen years later, he's a respected member of the Bureau, married to the woman of his dreams, and soon to be a father. He's inches away from everything he ever wanted. Then he and his partner, Frankie Lassiter, are sent to Blind River to investigate the disappearances of four young women, and Curtis's visceral hatred for the town are the least of their problems. There are almost no clues, the chief is clueless, a reporter is exploiting the disappearances to further her own career, and the prison looming over the treetops is a constant reminder of the criminals who ruled Blind River during Curtis's childhood. When Sam Marino, the man who plunged Blind River into darkness once before, escapes from prison, Curtis and Frankie find themselves in a battle for the soul of Blind River itself.

    So he agrees to run an errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Illandryan, formidable pakhan of the Armenian mob in L.A. All Shake has to do is deliver a package to Las Vegas and pick up a briefcase. But the package turns out to be a wholesome young housewife named Gina who's run afoul of Dick "The Whale" Moby, a murderous 300-pound strip club owner. Shake decides to set Gina free and now the two of them are on the run to Panama, hoping to sell the valuable (and unusual) contents of the briefcase. But first Shake will have to out-maneuver two angry crime bosses, an Armenian thug plagued by erectile super-function, and a devious billionaire swindler. Not to mention, Shake will have to survive his own heart, since he's going to discover that Gina is more complicated than he thought.

    All four find themselves on an ocean liner headed for England together, and typically Wodehousian romantic shenanigans ensue.

    But now they're on the verge of divorce and going to couples' counseling. On a routine trip to their counselor, they notice a few odd things -- the lack of cars on the highway, the missing security guard, and the fact that their counselor, Dr. Kelly, is ripping out her previous client's throat.Meet the Zombies.Now, Sarah and David are fighting for survival in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. But, just because there are zombies, doesn't mean your other problems go away. If the zombies don't eat their brains, they might just kill each other.

    To find out more, read this book (better still, buy it, then read it) – or contact Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. ‘A thumping good detective-ghost-horror-whodunnit-time travel-romantic-musical-comedy epic.’ The author

    Satan's got his work cut out in this darkly comic crime tale. A cracking read!" - Mark Leggatt Life is hard for The Devil and he desperately wants to take a holiday. Growing weary from playing the cosmic bad guy, he resolves to set up a company that will do his job for him so the sins of the world will tick over while he takes a vacation. God tells him he can have his vacation just as soon as he solves an ancient crime. But nothing is ever easy and before long he is up to his pitchfork in solving murders, desperate to crack the case so he can finally take the holiday he so badly needs... This is a perfectly-pitched darkly comic crime novel that is ideal for fans of Christopher Fowler and Ben Aaranovitch.

    . . and now they’re engaged!But all is not well in Green Valley. A chicken choker is on the loose, 61 dead birds most "fowl" need plucking, and no time remains for Jennifer and her devilish fiancé. Desperate to find a spare moment together, Jenn and Cletus’s attempts to reconnect are thwarted by one seemingly coincidental disaster after another. It’s not long before Cletus and Jenn see a pattern emerge and the truth becomes clear.Sabotage!Will an undercover mission unmask the culprit? Or are these love-birds totally plucked?'Engagement and Espionage' is the first book in the Solving for Pie: Cletus and Jenn Mysteries series, is a full-length cozy mystery, and is a spin-off of Penny Reid's Winston Brothers series. This novel is best read after 'Beard Science,' Winston Brothers #3.

    I’m an almost-ex-wife, and former full-time mom who works part-time at the local yarn store. The biggest mystery I’ve ever solved is finding a missing knitting needle tucked behind my ear after spending all morning looking for it. Someone in Harmony Lake is trying to stitch me up for murder.In a small town where everyone has a secret they want to keep hidden, no one is talking to the out-of-town cop who’s been brought in to solve the case. So, armed with everything I’ve learned from watching murder mysteries on TV, and a little help from my friends, it’s up to me to find the real killer and clear my name. Can I knit the clues together and expose the killer before they unravel and kill again? I hope so, because knitting needles aren't allowed in prison, and I look horrible in orange.If you like your cozy mysteries with a bit of humour, small town Canadian life, a hint of romance, a close circle of quirky, lovable characters that you wish you knew in real life, dogs and cats, and free knitting patterns, there's something in this series for you.Clean read: no graphic violence, sex, or strong language.Each ebook includes a link to a free knitting pattern at the end of the book.Included stories: Knit One Murder Two, Killer Cables, and Murder & MerinoDownload The Knitorious Murder Mystery Books 1 - 3 and start unravelling the mysteries in three entertaining cozy mysteries today!Read FREE on Kindle Unlimited