He just wanted to retire in peace. Change descended when he accidentally shot a Peeping Tom. Though he buried him on his remote Montana property, he couldn't bury the man's curse. Haunted by it, and about to be found out, he sent up a desperate prayer. That night he had a strange dream. Priscilla's interpretation of the dream was to stockpile enough food to look after seventy people for five years because perilous times were surely coming . . .

    When Lassie and Murdock's game of "What Won't Murdock eat?" goes wrong, a trip to the emergency vet is in order. And when a crazed snake owner takes the vet hostage, it is up to Henry, Lassie, and Murdock to save the day. But they only have one hour. And the clock is ticking... *Disclaimer: THIS IS ONLY 40 PAGES LONG *Disclaimer about the disclaimer: 40 HILARIOUS PAGES :)

    She’s watched as, each summer, the tight-knit small village braces for the invasion of vacationers seeking refuge from city life. But this year, a new kind of visitor arrives in Port Isley, bringing something most unexpected.Soon after the season begins, a teenage girl’s mutilated body is found in a local park. The police declare it a random act of violence, but Amanda’s not so sure…because how can she explain that she had a premonition of the crime just hours before it happened? Or that the neighbors she’s known forever inexplicably are beginning to change…into lustful, violent shadows of themselves? Amanda knows something’s not right. And she knows it has something to do with the sinister stranger who’s come to town. But can she uncover his dark secret in time to stop him—and in time to save the souls of Port Isley?

    Unencumbered by erudition and impervious to logic, Karl ambles down a heuristic path to enlightenment under the edifying influence of Ricky and Steve. His pronouncements on such diverse and contentious topics as population control, simian affairs within human society, the sartorial deliberations of solitary spacemen and how long you can stay alive with your head chopped off, are matched in the vehemence with which they are proposed only by the degree to which they are ill-conceived. Featuring Karl's original illustrations, imaginative scribblings and the best conversations of the world record-breaking Podcasts, The Ricky Gervais Show, this is a unique trip into the world of one of our most innovative thinkers, visionaries and prophets, or as Gervais knows him, "the funniest man I've ever met."

    In response, the distressed mother, who grew up a Quaker and has never seen a gun, steals weapons from the sheriff’s office and tools from a local hardware store. Frantically racing to rescue her stolen daughter, she is surprised to discover she knows how to expertly handle these dangerous, heavy tools. And it suddenly occurs to Karen that not only has her town changed, she has no idea who she is either!

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    Treason is afoot in the highest social circles. The very security of the nation is in peril. Jeeves, it transpires, has long been an agent of British Intelligence, but now His Majesty's Government must turn to the one man who can help . . . Bertie Wooster.In this magnificent new homage to P. G. Wodehouse, Ben Schott leads Jeeves and Wooster on an uproarious adventure of espionage through the secret corridors of Whitehall, the sunlit lawns of Brinkley Court, and the private clubs of St James's.We encounter an unforgettable cast of characters – old and new – including outraged chefs and exasperated aunts, disreputable politicians and gambling bankers, slushy debs and Cockney cabbies, sphinx-like tailors, and sylph-like spies.There is treachery to be foiled, naturally, but also horses to be backed, auctions to be fixed, engagements to be escaped, madmen to be blackballed, and a new variety of condiment to be cooked up.'Jeeves & the King of Clubs' is essential reading for aficionados of The Master, and a perfect introduction to the joys of Jeeves and Wooster for those who have never before dipped their toe.'Impossible to read without grinning idiotically.' - Mark Sanderson, Evening StandardBibliographical note: Although the cover reads 'Jeeves and the King of Clubs' , the half-title and tile page read 'Jeeves & the King of Clubs' and this is how it is catalogued above. In addition the title page does state, separate from the actual title, 'An homage to P.G. Wodehouse authorised by the Wodehouse Estate' and adds, 'With Authorial Endnotes'.

    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

    Once you've met Jim Fosse you'll never feel quite the same about opening your e-mails ...A darkly humorous short story of obsession from John Dolan, author of 'Everyone Burns'.WARNING: Contains sexual references and some really terrible grammar.

    Using the skills she learned as a secret service agent, she runs the Gotcha Detective Agency, along with her skilled computer forensics partner Charles Parks. Gotcha specializes in executive protection (bodyguards), and tailing cheating spouses.Nick Christianson is running from the demons of his past, and that has put him back in his old stomping grounds in Salinas, CA. Nick has transferred from the San Francisco Homicide Division and is now adjusting to this new police department.Mimi never expects to run into her old college flame Nick, when she takes on an executive protection case for New York Times bestselling author Lauren Silke. But when Lauren’s assistant is murdered, the homicide case, along with Mimi, land in Nick’s lap. Will Mimi and Nick be able to solve this murder without killing each other first?Textual Relations - book 2Mimi Capurro, owner of Gotcha Detective Agency, hasn’t seen her old college flame since they teamed up to find a killer several months earlier. Now, after breaking and entering into an alleged predator’s home, Mimi and Charles find a murder victim on the floor in his bedroom. When homicide detective Nick Christianson and his new partner, Piper Mason, arrive on the scene, this is not the way Mimi expected to see Nick again.Even though it’s his job, Nick is loath to find the killer. That is until a teenage girl with ties to the victim disappears. Now Mimi, Nick and Charles race against the clock to find the killer and hopefully find the girl in the process.

     One family. A tiny flat in Notting Hill. A beautiful neighbour. A very angry dog. A horny Welshman. An enormous turkey. On the biggest day of the year. What could possibly go wrong? Meet Ben Canterbury, 29, single, lives in a poky flat in Notting Hill with horny Welshman, Rufus. His life has been one disappointment after another. What makes it worse is that his brother, Jamie, is the complete opposite - a Barrister to Ben’s Barista - with a family and a proper house in Twickenham. In an attempt to compete with his perfect brother, Ben insists he hosts the family Christmas, but it isn’t long before he realises he’s way out of his depth. Ben’s flat isn't big enough for everyone (including one very angry dog), the Christmas tree’s from the £1 shop, the decorations are hung with Blu-Tack, and the turkey might not fit in the oven. Ben’s definitely not feeling the Christmas spirit. But when beautiful new neighbour, Mhairi McGregor, appears at his door, Ben’s Christmas worries go out of the window and he begins to wonder if it might not be the worst Christmas in history after all. Amid all the drama, drinking and carnage of Christmas Day, will Ben find true love or will it be another disappointment to add to the list? A Notting Hill Christmas is a brilliantly funny, feel-good, festive novella perfect for fans of romantic comedies like Love Actually and Notting Hill.

    Enjoy these hilarious stories about stupid criminals, their hilarious attempts at crime, and bizarre mistakes they made that prevented them from getting away with their crimes.

    On the verge of becoming a name in the interior design world, he can't afford a scandal and must discreetly dispose of the body—not an easy job when the whole of London seems to be conspiring against him.

     Featuring stories by Amy Cross, Mike Duke, Matthew Brockmeyer, Lex H. Jones, J.C. Michael and Kevin J. Kennedy.

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.