This is the poetry of a beautiful life.

    Beam Piper with active table of contents.Works include:The AnswerThe Cosmic ComputerCrossroads of DestinyDay of the MoronDearestThe Edge of the KnifeFlight From TomorrowFour-Day PlanetGenesisGraveyard of DreamsHe Walked Around the HorsesThe KeeperLast EnemyLittle FuzzyThe MercenariesMinistry of DisturbanceMurder in the GunroomNaudsonceNull-ABCOomphel in the SkyOmnilingualOperation R.S.V.P.PatrolPolice OperationRebel RaiderThe ReturnA Slave is a SlaveSpace VikingTemple TroubleTime and Time AgainTime CrimeUllr Uprising

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    True tales from a post-truth world)It should have been simple. Go in and steal the cash. But no job is simple when the two guys named Lenny and their buddy Hot Sauce are involved.Sprinkle in a backpacker who is not what she seems, some cashed-up tourists who don’t speak English, a couple enduring the night from hell, not to mention the mysterious Jack the problem solver and you have a night full of sex, drugs and misadventure.If you love hilarious stories that will keep you laughing and guessing all the way to the end, you’ll love Jack Stroke’s The Other Hotel.Get it now.

    The bookshop is about to close, abandoned buildings line the canal and Potherthwaite’s residents seem stuck in a disheartened rut. Something has to be done, but what? And who will do it?When an unexpected tragedy shatters Sally’s life, she bravely takes on the task herself. Supported by a group of locals, including thrice-married Marigold Boyce-Willoughby, who is forever looking for love, and married couple Jill and Arnold Buss, who might both be falling for their new neighbours, Sally embarks on her ambition to bring the town back to life. But can one woman rally a whole community to save itself?David Nobbs’ much-anticipated new novel is a hilarious, heartwarming tale about what keeps our community spirits alive.

    The collection takes us from England to Asia with stops in Australia and the United States and it proves the point that disgusting old people are to be found just about everywhere. We enter the troubled minds of murderers, bank robbers, practical jokers, serial killers, perverts and just regular old liars all of whom are old enough to know better. You'll doubtless recognize people you know and be forced to admit to a few wiles of your own.

    

    Adventurer. Fighter. Drinker.Saviour?Pratchett goes swashbuckling in the hotly anticipated original fiction debut of the multi-million selling Warhammer star.Triumff is a ribald historical fantasy set in a warped clockwork-powered version of our present day … a new Elizabethan age, not of Elizabeth II but in the style of the original Virgin Queen. Throughout its rollicking pages, Sir Rupert Triumff drinks, dines and duels his way into a new Brass Age of Exploration and Adventure.

     With time a dwindling commodity, Frank decides it’s time to do something he wants to do. With a little encouragement from his oldest friend, Stan, the first destination for his ‘bucket-list’ is the Isle of Man TT Races. They were content to just spectate, but fate had other ideas.

    And how can that get any worse for this Wimpy Kid? By finding out that you’re getting the meanest teacher in the school this year AND she just moved down the street.Leave it up to Connor, Max and Milo to turn the miserable first week of school into the biggest and most exciting party ever. All while avoiding the bully squad, outsmarting Molly, the teacher’s pet and staying one step ahead of Mr. Mooger, the principal.But everything is not as it seems and the three soon find out that they haven’t been the only one’s pulling pranks.Join Connor, Max and Milo on their new adventures in middle school, watch them out smart the bullies and stay one step ahead of the teachers. This illustrated book is a humorous and fun ride through middle school, never knowing what's just around the corner or under your seat. Connor's Diary of the Wimpy Kids in his prankster's club will keep you guessing and laughing out loud.Also Available: The Pranksters' Club: Ripped - Book 2 of the Series

    The small fry of petty larceny and minor disturbances in the backwaters of north-west London are his daily round. His philosophising Welsh drinking companion Mod, his outsized and unruly dog Kitty, his quarrels with his landlady Mrs Fulljames - none of these bodes well for the efficient solving of crimes and outwitting of villainy. But Davies is encouraged by his beautiful friend Jemma, and every so often he stumbles upon something really big. Gathered together for the first time in one volume, here are Leslie Thomas's three books about the most endearing comic hero he has ever created.

    The search for Ellen's errant husband leads Elvis into the seamier side of Hollywood. He soon learns that Mort Lang is a down-on-his-luck talent agent who associates with a schlocky movie producer, and the last place he was spotted was at a party thrown by a famous and very well-connected ex-Matador. But no one has seen him since - including his B-movie girlfriend. At the same time the police find Mort in his parked car with four gunshots in his chest - and no kid in sight - Ellen disappears. Now nothing is what it seems, and the heat is on. It's up to Elvis Cole and his partner Joe Pike to find the connection between sleazy Hollywood players and an ex-Matador. FREE FALL Read by James Daniels (Sandra Burr, Jill Sovis) Elvis Cole is just a detective who can't say no, especially to a girl in a terrible fix. And Jennifer Sheridan qualifies: Her fiance, Mark Thurman, is a decorated LA cop with an elite plainclothes unit, but Jennifer's sure he's in trouble - the kind of serious trouble that only Elvis Cole can help him out of. Five minutes after his new client leaves his office, Elvis and his partner, the enigmatic Joe Pike, are hip-deep in a deadly situation as they plummet into a world of South Central gangs, corrupt cops, and conspiracies of silence. And before the case is through, every cop in the LAPD will be gunning for a pair of escaped armed-and-dangerous killers - Elvis Cole and Joe Pike. LULLABY TOWN Read by James Daniels (Joyce Bean, Russell Byers) Hollywood's newest wunderkind is Peter Alan Nelson, the brilliant, erratic director known as the King of Adventure. His films make billions, but his manners make enemies. What the boy king wants, he gets, and what Nelson wants is for Elvis to comb the country for the airhead wife and infant child the film-school flunkout dumped en route to becoming the third biggest filmmaker in America. It's the kind of case Cole can handle in his sleep - until it turns out to be a nightmare. For when Cole finds Nelson's wife in a small Conneticut town, she's nothing like what he expects. The lady has some unwanted - and very nasty - mob connections, which means Elvis could be opening the East Coast branch of his P.I. office . . .at the bottom of the Hudson River.

    Before you get snowed in, grab yourself a copy of this limited-edition collection. With heroes and heroines of all kinds, you'll be sure to find some that you just can't help but fall in love with. These romantic reads can be read as stand-alone stories. But, why would you want to do that? Read them all! Immerse yourself in this wintery ensemble from Romance Collections. This collection includes: Storm of Seduction (Gilpin County Search & Rescue 1.5) by Nicole Morgan Will Lori's plan be the thing that brings her and Kevin together again? The Gift by Stephanie Morris Sometimes love is the only gift you need Luca's Little Christmas Cracker by Caitlyn Lynch Santa's sexy helper is all Luca wants for Christmas! Finding Love by Krista Ames Sometimes the best things are found in awkward places... The Great Fruitcake Bake-off by Vicki Batman It's love and war in the baking world. Christmas Choices by Sharon Coady Which man can make this the best Christmas of her life? Hot Coffee by Donna R. Mercer Everyone Needs A Little Cream in Their... Nice Girl Naughty by Jan Springer Can Summer's bodyguard keep her safe from a serial killer? Touchdown Dance by Carma Haley Shoemaker Dance was my first love. I'm counting on you to be my last. Christmas Wishes by Livia Quinn Tis the Season for Second Chances Tied Up In Tinsel by Amber Skyze Things can go awry when a dream fantasy turns into a nightmare. Rent-a-Gentleman Two: Winter Sparks by Rebecca Fairfax A winter-spring relationship? No--more like winter sparks Stranger in the Snow by Jane Blythe Trust a stranger with her life or risk it in a blizzard. Resisting You by Suzanne Jenkins Kendall accepted a life without love until an unexpected visitor changed her mind. Mistletoe Fantasies, Book 1 in the Pleasure Your Fantasies Series by Stacy Eaton Dancing pays the bills, but it's ruining her Christmas Fantasy. A White Hot Christmas: Novella by Rene Webb Keeping warm has never been this hot! A Wolf's Claim (The Holiday Ball Book 1) by Marie Mason Will fate and some blue pixie dust be enough to get these two lovers together? Christmas Comes to Silver Falls (A BBW Holiday Romance) by Joann Baker & Patricia Mason When a long lost love rides into town, Christmas becomes even more complicated for Mayor Holly Bryant as she must choose between her responsibility as mayor or her heart. Winter Encounter by Karen Cino

    Wry, laconic, and more than a little world-weary, Tatum pursues a savage killer through the rural Virginia uplands with the hot-headed assistance of Special Agent Kate LeComte. Warwolf is by turns hilarious and deeply unsettling, and T.R. Pearson’s gift for capturing the true voice of the new south is on conspicuous display. The mountains of Virginia have never seemed so dangerously alive, and there remains no better company in the southern highlands than Deputy Ray Tatum.Ray Tatum also appears in Cry Me A River, Blue Ridge, and Polar -- written to be read in no particular order.